Welcome to the Gophers Chuck Buggs (plus B10 preview, Bill Smith, and more!)

I'm not exactly sure when this happened but I just found out about it when I checked the Daily Gopher, but the Gopher basketball team signed PF Charles Buggs for 2012.  At first I all like "what the deuce?  another 3-star player and with the final 2012 scholarship?  This is lame-a-saurus rex."  But then I watched this:


Ohmygodyouguys.  The jump shot.  The body type.  The passing and ball-handling.  And the jump shot.  This is it.  This is what we've all been waiting for.  This is the next guy in the Kevin Garnett/Hakim Warrick/JaJuan Johnson line.  The face-up 4 with a killer jumpshot and perimeter skills who has the size and athleticism to also play in the paint.  This is it.  He's here.  Charles mother effing Buggs.

Here is how ESPN describes his strengths:

Strengths:
Charles is an exceptionally live-bodied face up four man for the next level. He's a graceful athlete with very quick reflexes and he's an elite leaper. Two-hand dunks with ease while also showing good touch with his jumper and in the lane. He changes ends very well plus he's an extremely intelligent kid who wants to be coached and get better. Doesn't really have any bad habits and there's a hunger about him to improve.

Oh.  my.  god.  Will some one please just come and hit me over the head so I can go into a coma until next year?  He was hurt a large part of his senior year which scared some teams off, but went to prep school and reclassified as a 2012 recruit and besides the Gophers, held offers from Arkansas, Clemson, Marquette, Seton Hall, and West Virginia among a couple others.  Sounds like a very talented kid who got hurt and kind of dropped off the recruiting map, and thanks to hard work by Tubby and staff (according to articles Tubby is the reason he's heading to Minnesota) could end up being a diamond in the rough.  Except he's probably going to be even better than a diamond.  He's going to be like a Burmese Ruby.

So pumped.  I haven't been this set up for disappointment since Antoine Broxsie transferred in.

-  I was going to do a preview of every big 10 team one at a time and try to get them done before the regular season starts but at this point that obviously isn't going to happen.  Instead here's a shorter preview style, and if you really want I have teams 6-12 broken down in greater detail in other posts on this very blog (links included)

12.  Penn State - Not only is Talor Battle gone, but so is everybody else.  I like Tim Frazier, a lot, but he's not the guy who can carry a team.  1 win would be a good season.

11.  Nebraska - At least they're good in football.

10.  Iowa - Some interesting talent and a good future, but this isn't their year yet.

9.  Indiana - Similar to Iowa, things seem to be moving in the right direction talent and recruiting wise, but they're at least a year away.

8.  Northwestern - I'm not falling for this again.  Not to mention that even though the Wildcats only lose 1 player, that player has been their starting point guard for 4 years.

7.  Wisconsin - It's certainly possible I'm underrating them for the 10th year in a row, but Jordan Taylor is due for a major regression to the mean season and I don't see anybody here who can pick up that slack.

6.  Purdue - Depending on Hummel (who looked good in the exhibition game I watched some of), they could be a lot better than this or a lot worse.  So many questions outside of Lewis Jackson that they're probably the toughest team to really get a read on.

5.  Minnesota - This feels about right.  If Sampson turns in a stellar senior year and somebody steps forward to not just play the point capably but to actually play well (will have to be Hollins) they could challenge for 2nd.  On the other hand, if Ralph is disinterested and nobody proves to be a Big 10 caliber point guard they could be looking at 8th.

4.  Illinois - They lose a lot off last year's squad, but getting rid of McCamey might be addition by subtraction and with Brandon Paul and D.J. Richardson they have two of the most talented wings in the entire conference.  Similar to the Gophers, someone will have to step up to play the point (they have a highly regarded freshman and a transfer from Bradley) and how that works will likely be the biggest factor in how good this team ends up being this year.

3.  Michigan - It's very sad to me that Darius Morris went pro because he rocked and he would probably vault Michigan up to the #2 spot with an outside chance at challenging for #1.  But, he did have a first round guarantee and probably wouldn't be moving up so there you go - even though they aren't playing.  The impressive thing is based on Beilein's recruiting lately it's likely we won't see them outside the top 5 for a while.

2.  Michigan State - I don't particularly feel confident about putting Sparty in second place here, but I can't really convince myself any of these other teams are better.  They should be a safe team this year, however, because Draymond Green is really flipping good, and the kind of player who can essentially guarantee your team won't go in the toilet.  Seriously if he doesn't have at least two triple-doubles this year I'll be shocked.

1.  Ohio State - Where even to begin?  Sullinger is back.  Buford is back and won't have to defer to Lighty.  Aaron Craft is about to become a monster, and they bring in one of the best classes in the country.  Again.  This dynasty is out of control.  Most sportsbooks have futures on conference winners right now and you can get Ohio State at -125.  Considering they're basically guaranteed to win it this year that's a freakin' bargain.

-  So I guess Bill Smith getting fired is a pretty big deal.  I'm having trouble making myself care about it but that's mainly because my brain is already in basketball mode with everything getting started.  Don't get me wrong, I'm very much in favor of the move.  I don't even have to try very hard and I can come up with a top 5 Bill Smith terrible moves list:  the Santana trade, the Delmon for Garza trade, the Hardy for nothing trade, Ramos for Capps, and spending a stupid amount of money to sign Nishioka.  I'm sure there are more (like getting rid of Billy Bullock so they could get a journeyman minor league reliever on the 40-man roster or whatever the details were) and I'm struggling to think of a single good move that was made during his tenure (I'm sure there were, I just can't come up with anythng).  So I'm pretty happy to have Ryan back.  It's not like he can do much worse.  Also does it mean I'm a bad person when I saw it come across the ESPN ticker that Wilson Ramos was kidnapped in Venezuela that my first though was "good thing they traded him"?  Probably, huh?  Say la vee.

Big Ten Preview #6: PURDUE BOILERMAKERS

Purdue goes here at #6 despite it being equally likely they finish in any spot from #3 to #8 because, quite simply, there just isn't that much known.  What we know is Lewis Jackson is will be very difficult to guard, won't be a good shooter, but will have success using his incredible quickness to get into the paint and either score, get fouled, or set-up his teammates.  We also know Purdue will play very tough man-to-man defense.  But that's it.  Everything else is a question mark of varying degrees.

We almost know that Robbie Hummel will be good - and he'll have to be considering he's really the team's only consistent offensive threat - but can you say that about a guy coming off not one but two major knee injuries?  I caught a little bit of one of the Boilers exhibition games and he looked like the same old fundamentally sound, mid-range jump-shooting put it on the floor and go around a slower big guy player that he always was, but that was against sub-par competition and who's to say that knee doesn't weaken as the season goes along and the minutes pile up, or just plain gives out again?  If he's healthy all year he's an all league player, but if he has issues, Purdue has issues.

I don't even know who is going to score here besides Hummel and Jackson, because nobody else has ever had to with JaJuan Johnson and E'Twaun Moore around.  Ryne Smith will certainly be around to hit a bunch of three-pointers, but I'm not sure if he can create his own shot and without Moore helping on the perimeter and Johnson drawing doubles (although if Hummel is healthy he probably will) he's going find fewer open shots.  The rest of the team is a collection of unknowns, at least as far as offense goes.

On paper they're talented:  junior D.J. Byrd, sophomore Terone Johnson, and freshman Anthony Johnson were all top 100 type recruits coming out of high school and others - juniors Kelsey Barlow and John Hart, sophomores Travis Carroll and Sandi Marcius and freshman Jacob Lawson all have things to offer but have some major question marks.  Byrd looks like he's on the Brian Cardinal express train to annoying hustleplayerville, Barlow is a freak athlete and great defender but his offensive game is lacking, Carroll is a big lumbering oaf, Marcius is a communits, Lawson is a great athlete but very raw offensively, and Hart started last season strong but didn't look like nearly the same player after returning from injury mid-year.

I expect the key for the Boilers - outside of Hummel's health of course - is the development of either Anthony or Terone Johnson.  Anthony redshirted last year but was the higher regarded recruit coming out of high school and did score 9 in Purdue's first exhibition game.  Both are supposed to be pretty good athletes who can score, and if either or both develop into a true weapon on that end of the floor Purdue will shoot up into the top 4 in the conference - once again, assuming Hummel's knee.

You know I probably could saved time and just typed Hummel Hummel Hummel Hummel Hummel Hummel over and over again for this preview.

DWG Over/Under Conference Wins:  9.5

Big Ten Preview: #7 WISCONSIN BADGERS

Once again, I see no way Wisconsin can finish in the upper division of the Big 10 this year.  Now I fully admit I think this same thing pretty much every year and pretty much every year they prove me wrong, but I'm just not seeing this year.

Obviously everything about the Badgers this year begins and ends with Jordan Taylor, who is not doubt a supreme talent and had a statistically amazing season last year.  If you think that year was a fluke or a harbinger of things to come probably has a lot to do with your opinion of the Badgers' fortunes this season.  After being a below average shooter in his first two years in the league, Taylor increased his shooting percentage by 40 points from his sophomore to junior year, including raising his 3-point and FT percentages by over 100 points, and put up an absolutely staggering 4.2 assist-to-turnover ratio to lead the nation, a ratio that was more than double nearly every other player who put up a high number of assists.  It was a mind-blowing year that pretty much came out of nowhere, and you can firmly put me in the camp that we're going to see some regression to the mean this year, especially without Leuer to take some of the pressure off of Taylor.

Actually I have no idea who is going to take the pressure off of Taylor this season, because G Josh Gasser and F Mophead Bruesewitz are the only guys back who played significant time last year.  Gasser had one of the more unlikely triple-doubles in history last year, but is pretty much a meh player and Bruesewitz is more of an energy and effort guy than a true scorer.  Then again this is Wisconsin.  The laws of time and space and sports cease to function when you cross the border, and guys like Gasser and Mophead who would be bench warmers on other teams become not only significant contributors, but even all-conference types.  I don't like Bo Ryan - I'm pretty sure nobody does - but I've learned not to doubt him.

As big of question marks as those two are, behind them things are even more unsettled.  Ryan Evans and Jared Berggren both played in a lot of games last year and although they didn't put up the most impressive stats on a consistent basis both showed flashes at times that they could fit in within the world's slowest offense.  Ryan also has two years worth of unheralded, barely ranked, few stars recruits that, outside of Gasser, haven't played much and I have no doubt at least one or two of them will make a significant contribution this year.

In short, Wisconsin once again looks like it will be a down year for them on paper.  But we've been saying this for like six straight years now and every year they're in contention for the Big 10 title and end up a lock for an NCAA bid by early February, so it wouldn't shock me if that ends up being the case once again.  I will say this though - if they end up doing it, it will be the most impressive of their surprisingly good seasons yet, because I see all kinds of troubles in Badgerland.

DWG Over/Under Conference Wins:  8.5

Big Ten Preview - #8 NORTHWESTERN WILDCATS

Northwestern's outlook actually is pretty rosy this year:  John Shurna is back to look like a total spaz nerd and do a little bit of everything, Drew Crawford now has two years under his belt and should just continue to get better, Luka Mrkovich will once again be the middle moving very little, JerShon Cobb should be a breakout candidate, and most of the little bit parts are here once again as well.

Two problems.

The first being that the major piece that is gone from last season is Michael Thompson who I refuse to call juice, the guy who piloted this team for the last four years - including two of the best in the program's history - and left as the all-time leader in assists for the Wildcats.  That's not easy to replace and I don't know who is going to do it.  Actually I don't think Northwestern knows yet.  Alex Marcotullio is probably first in line, but let's be honest if he wins the job there's no chance this team makes the NCAA Tournament.  If Drew Crawford or JerShon Cobb can't transition from off the ball player to ball-handler the Wildcats will have to hope one of their promising newcomers - guards Tre Demps and David Sobolewski - are good enough to step in right away.  Both are described as combo guards which normally I'd make fun of because there's not a real PG on the roster but the Gophers are basically doing the same thing so who am I to judge?

The second problem is that, even if they work the PG spot out perfectly, I've already fallen for this.  I was convinced last year everything had come together for Northwestern to finally, mercifully, grab that first ever NCAA Tournament bid.  And how I was I rewarded for my faith?  Just like Snape was rewarded by Voldemort - a painful death.  So no, I refuse to buy in.  There's no reason to think they'll be better than last season, last season was supposed to be their perfect storm, and they sucked last season.  Boom.  The end.

DWG Over/Under Conference Wins:  7.5

Shane Schilling's brother is the biggest baby ever

Honest to god, I've never seen a player whine and cry to the refs as much as Cody Schilling with the possible exceptions of Tim Duncan, Kobe Bryant, and Bogart in intramurals (also "Who are three people who have never been in my kitchen).  I mean it was just sad.  Even on shots where he was clearly not touched he would toss his arms in the air like, "Dude wtf?"  I bet when he plays pick-up he's that guy who calls every ticky-tack foul and then gets jumped in the parking lot after the game because everybody is sick of him.  My favorite moment, however, was when the defense got all switched up and he ended up with Ralph Sampson guarding him and he waved everyone away like, "I got this" for an isolation play and then jacked up a three.  What a douche.

As I said after the last exhibition game I'm not going to pay too much attention to team stuff here because it's just impossible to get a read.  It was clear Tubby wanted to work on some things that didn't exactly help the team in the micro, game sense such as avoiding getting the ball to Mbakwe in the first half (it was clear they weren't making any effort to get him the ball, which I assume was coach dictated or at least I freaking hope so) and switching into a zone defense when it was clear that the only thing Augustana could do at all was shoot from the outside and they had no inside presence.  And, once again, the competition was just not there.  The only reason this wasn't a complete blowout was because Drae Murray put on an exhibition in red-hot shooting in the first half which was just fun as hell to watch.  But 5-6 point guards aren't built to score against Big 10 teams, and so that's what happened. 

Instead, once again, I'll just focus on a couple of thoughts on some of the players that I noticed (that is a terrible sentence) but I'm going to have to keep this short because it's late, I'm tired, and it's extra late because I got lost driving home tonight.  Less than 2 miles from my house.  Don't ask.

TREVOR MBAKWE:  As I mentioned they pretty much avoided him in the first half, but in the second half it became clear that he was basically unstoppable which makes since I'm pretty sure he could have bench pressed any one of their players a dozen times.  None of that really matters, obviously, but if you're looking for a positive look at his free throw shooting.  He said he'd improve it and he did, going 12-13 tonight and showing a really nice high arching shot with excellent touch.  He's going to get fouled a ton and if he can shoot 75% or so?  He's going to put up some monster numbers.

RALPH SAMPSON:  Ok so when the gameplan in the first half is clearly to pound the ball to Ralphy and then he sucks donkey balls that's not good.  It's double not good when he's taller, more athletic, and far blacker than anybody who is trying to guard him, but Ralph ended up with more turnovers (7) than points (4) and shot 1-5 against a bunch of nobodies.  One of the most pathetic things I've ever seen, and I'd be far more upset about it if I wasn't so accustomed to it.  Ralph is the keystone guy this year that will decide how good this team is.  I'm not liking their chances.

RODNEY WILLIAMS:  Ended up with 10 points but they all happened because he ended up just accidentally scoring because he was 300x more athletic than anybody Augustana had.  The were effortless baskets which makes sense since Rodney seems to be all like meh with regards to effort on the offensive end.  You're probably going to hear about what a great defensive job he did on Schilling too, who was 6-21 shooting (lol), but keep in mind he was guarding a slow white kid whose only d-1 offer coming out of high school was from Green Bay.  I do think Williams has the potential to be a defensive stopper, but I think we should maybe not crown him just yet.  Twice tonight had the baseline for a drive and didn't even make the effort.  Pretty sure I'm done here.

AUSTIN HOLLINS:  More likely to end up this team's defensive ace simply because he's already the team's best perimeter defender, Hollins also knocked down a couple of threes that really got the team going in the second half.  Then he missed one and got sad and embarrassed and didn't shoot again the rest of the game.

ANDRE HOLLINS:  A bit of a rough game for Lionel's kid, which is to be expected for a freshman point guard even against a team like Augustana.  There was, however, once possession where he took the ball into the lane and just took it right at three defenders, completely fearlessly.  I wouldn't recommend that approach on every possession, but it was a good look at the kind of player he is, and really reminded me quite a bit of Russell Westbrook which is definitely a good thing.  It did not remind me of Lawrence Westbrook, but that's because I like Andre a lot and now that I think about it that's exactly what L-Dub would do.  Moving along quickly.

JOE COLEMAN:  I didn't notice Coleman being a terrible off-the-ball defender tonight and that's a considerable improvement from the last game.  I didn't notice him much at all actually, but I have a renewed faith in him that he'll be good some day.  Well, goodish.

CHIP ARMELIN:  This is the Chip Armelin (new nickname:  Heat Check) I'm in love with.  Came in the game, put up 4 shots in about 3 minutes, made 3 of them, and gave the offense the boost it needed.  The last couple of shots were probably ill advised, but that's what makes Heat Check, Heat Check.  Of course Tubby seemingly was less charmed by this than I was because after his last shot (and his only miss) Heat Check sat out the rest of the first half and then played about 40 seconds in the second half.  I'm pretty sure Tubby hates fun.

JULIAN WELCH:  Slow slow slow slow.  Snacks had the point tonight that maybe he's the kind of guy who just looks slow but it's because he's always in control (like Evan Turner) but then I saw him get blown by twice by Augustana's guards.  I know expectations/hope runs high for him, but let's not forget he came from UC-Davis, and I don't think this is a case of all the big schools just missing on him.  Temper expectations.

MAVERICK AHANMISI:  For the second consecutive game I can't tell you one thing he did or didn't do, good or bad, tonight.  And for the second consecutive game I consider this a bad thing.

ANDRE INGRAM:  I don't know why but I like this guy.  Sure, he had a play tonight where he nearly broke the backboard on a missed lay-up, but I like to think he's just showing initiative.  Since Shaq/Jerome Lane made them re-engineer the backboards you can break them by dunking anymore (unless you're Tiny Gallon) and so he's just trying to see if he can break one by throwing the ball hard at it.  He's like a freaking scientist.  Recognize.

OTO OSENIEKS:  Hit a 3-pointer, and hit it like a mofo, but also passed up a couple of opportunities to shoot that he, and any true "shooter" should have taken.   Then again, I'm probably expecting too much of him because I'm used to Blake and I always fall for shooters.  On the other hand, that hair.

ELLIOTT ELIASON:  I just...I don't care.  Wake me up in 2 years when he might be more than 5 fouls and an accidental rebound or two.  I will say his entertainment factor is through the roof considering I heard him yelling "dead dead dead dead" as loud as he could in the first game after his man picked up his dribble.  Epic.


Done.  These first two games were like watching a puppy who just learned about fish.  Friday we find out if that dog can track sasquatch in the rain.  Bucknell is no joke.  I'm planning on writing a preview of the game so there's at least a 60% chance that actually happens.  You should keep checking all week.  How exciting.

Week in Review - 11/7/2011

Missouri to the SEC?  West Virginia to the Big 12?  I think I'm officially old or maybe just completely sick of all the moving because what was once kind of exciting and neato is now annoying and I just want it to go away, not unlike my kids.  Whatever.  I am just confused as to why the hell the SEC would want Missouri.  Makes little sense to me.  I get the WVU and Big 12 merger - the B12 needs to grab whoever they can (academics be damned, apparently) and WVU is a good program stuck in a suddenly dying conference after the Cuse and Pitt defections and needs to find more stable ground.  Makes sense for everyone.  But Missouri to the SEC?  I'm not even sure I get it for Missouri.  You're going to sell midwest kids by telling them they their parents can come see them play if they fly all the way to the SE USA?  I don't know.  But I know I don't know and I'm dumb about this stuff so whatever let's move on.  


WHO WAS AWESOME:

1.  MarQueis Gray.  By some kind of weird accident I ended up watching most of the Gopher football game, and I have to say Gray impressed the crap out of me and looked like a whole new player (NOTE:  we're throwing out the 4th quarter which was mostly just bad decisions and passes that made it 85% of the way to their target all wrapped up with a final pass that was 25 yards from any Gopher).  I saw him look to a second read instead of just tucking and running, and I even saw him go to a third read at one point.  And some of those throws my god who was that?  His third TD to McKnight (the one in the 3rd quarter) was an absolutely beautiful throw, and he had one on the final drive where the threaded the needle quite nicely as well.  I don't know, I've been convinced Gray had no real future as a QB, but suddenly I'm not so sure.  Of course I don't mean a real QB here, obviously, I mean a college QB.  Also I think you're racist.

2.  Michigan Wolverines.  Not the football team (although we'll get there), but the basketball team, specifically recruiting-wise, because they just secured a commitment from 2012 power forward Mitch McGary, who is basically worshiped by anybody and everybody who follows high school hoops (side bar:  can you believe worshiped only has one 'p'?  Weird.).  McGary is listed as either a power forward or a center depending on who you ask, but, since John Beilein was after him you know damn well he has perimeter skills, but unlike a guy like Pittsnoggle or those white nerds on Michigan right now, McGary has the inside game to go with it.  Really, I mean the guy is #2 overall in the class according to both ESPN and Scout and is #3 according to Rivals - this is a really really huge deal for the Wolverines and actually the Big 10 overall.  I mean, Michigan's top competition for McGary was Duke, and the other competition was Kentucky, Florida, and North Carolina.  Just a ridiculous get.  Take notes, Tubby.  Beilein has Michigan on their way (also has commits from the #34 and #79 recruits in that same class) and they're positioned to be a national contender soon.  Started in the same year as Tubby.  Just sayin'


3.  Trent Richardson.  Ok so this one might seem kind of weird because his stat line isn't all that good and he pretty much did nothing in the second half vs. LSU, but I thought this guy was kind of slow and probably going to be a flop in the NFL.  After watching the game saturday night I am fully revising that prediction to future stud.  Yeah, he's big and strong, which probably meant he'd be at least a decent NFL rusher, but he caught a couple of passes in the flat against LSU where he made a whole mess of people miss him with a little juke here and a little juke there - and LSU is an excellent defensive team.  It wasn't pretty or shifty like Barry Sanders or LeSean McCoy, but it was certainly quick enough to be effective.  Combine that with his power and he's going to be a major contributor at some point for some NFL team.  I don't know, maybe like a faster Brandon Jacobs who can catch.  Something like that but better.

4.  DeMarco Murray.  I like that Murray comes right after Richardson because I can never remember who played/plays for Alabama and who played/plays for Oklahoma.  But anyway I think it's pretty clear at this point that Murray is the goods.  After his debut as a starter, where he ran for 253 yards, you could probably talk yourself into thinking that was some kind of fluke.  Then last week he rushed for 74 yards, but did it on only 8 carries because of how the game was going.  This week he once again impressed, going for 139 rushing and another 47 receiving and just generally looking like a stud.  He's fast (enough), strong (enough), and very shifty, not to mention being a great receiver - at least according to his scouting report coming out of college.  I haven't been this impressed with a young back since LeSean McCoy.  Of course, I now have McCoy, Murray, and Ray Rice on my keeper team and we only start two RBs, so I should probably figure out something to do with all that.

5.  Green Bay Packers.  God damn it.  These fuckers are going to go undefeated, aren't they?  And I'm going to have to sit here and choke on it.  After beating San Diego, which should have been a completely losable game, they are now 8-0.  Looking at the schedule there are three games they can't possibly lose (vs. Oakland, vs. Minnesota, vs. Chicago) and another one that is essentially unlosable but because it's on the road I can't quite call it that (@ Kansas City).  So that's a guaranteed 12 wins.  Two of the other four games they'll be a pretty good sized favorite, maybe around a TD or so (vs. Detroit, vs. Tampa), and one other (@ New York Giants) they'll be probably around a 3 point favorite.  The only game where they might be an underdog is @ Detroit on Thanksgiving, and god help us all if Stafford can't pull that one out because I'm pretty sure I can't survive in a world where the Packers go undefeated and win another Super Bowl.  Seriously my hatred for Green Bay makes my hatred for the Badgers look like my hatred for chicken wings which is weird because I don't care about the NFL all that much.  I think if the Packers were a college I'd probably go all Charles Whitman on it. 


WHO SUCKED

1.  Alabama Kickers.  What the mother hell was that?  Four missed field goals in the biggest game of the year and probably your career?  Just brutal.  Although I guess asking college kickers to make field goals of 40-50 yards is pretty ridiculous, so it's not like the Tide was exactly putting their dudes in positions to succeed.  I don't know, the whole thing was just ugly and ridiculous and kind of funny.  I was actually looking forward to them trotting out the kicker each time they went for a field goal.  And seriously, bringing that dude out for a 52 yarder in OT when he'd already missed two on the night?  Nobody, and I mean nobody, thought that one was going to go through.  Kickers, lol.  Probably should just amend the rule book to get rid of field goals in college, Chip Lohmiller be damned.

2.  Denard Robinson.  And this is why, no matter how successful your run first QB is in college (and Robinson has already been benched this year so there's that) you can never feel comfortable with a dude who can't really throw.  Michigan, down by 8, ball on the 3, first down, 30 seconds or something left.  First play - some kind of mini-up-and-out on the outside - receiver marginally open - Robinson throws it completely out of bounds.  Second down - floater in the middle of nowhere, throw without really even looking at the defense - still almost caught but receiver was out-of-bounds.  Much like the pizza at Donatelli's.  Third down - little scramble play - throw comes up short - actually probably should have been caught.  But I've typed too much to turn back.  Fourth Down - hike and throw timing play with no options which is actually really stupid because if you have a dude like Denard you want there to be a lot of options and this play has zero.  This should probably be ripping on whoever the Michigan coach is.  But 1.  I don't know who that is and 2. I'm drunk on Saturday night whilst typing this and I don't feel like doing whatever. 

3.  Philip Rivers.  He always puts up monster numbers, like his 385 yards and 4 TDs against Green Bay on Sunday, but he's just a train wreck of inconsistency, as his 3 picks with two brought back for Packer touchdowns attests too.  He's not like Romo, who will always choke in a big game, but he's just all over the place and will always make just as many terrible throws/decisions as he does good ones. Seriously, he throws interceptions in the playoffs/big games like that's his actual job, he just masks it by also throwing for a couple TDs and 350+ yards so nobody really notices.  Seriously, if you had to pick a "good" QB to start a game that he had to win or you would die Rivers would be the second worst guy you could pick, behind Romo of course.  Because he's a big time choker.  Like that dude from Kung Fu or Albert DeSalvo (supposedly). 

I have nothing to add.  I just like this picture.

4.  West Virginia.  The Mountaineers lost their exhibition game versus d-2 Northern Kentucky on Saturday, which doesn't necessarily mean disaster for the season but it's kind of hard to think of this as a good sign.  No, they weren't the only team to lose to a D-2 team this week - Butler lost to Northern State and Arizona lost to Seattle Pacific - but everyone else had mitigating circumstances that could at least explain it.  Butler lost their top 2 players from last year and have to deal with that while Arizona is trying to break in a freshman point guard and lost their do everything player, but WVU shouldn't have those issues.  I mean yeah, they lost last year's leading scorer in Casey Mitchell, but with do everything Kevin Jones and point guard Truck Bryant back there's no reason for them to lose this game.  Most troubling is they allowed Northern Kentucky to shoot 52% from the floor for the game.  I don't know if this is a fluke or a terrible sign and harbinger of doom, but it ain't good.

5.  Jim Thome.  Tell me this isn't completely bizarre.  I mean the contract makes total sense - 1 year for $1.25 million with AB incentives that can push it to $1.5.  Perfect for everybdoy.  And I even get how Thome likes Philly from when he played there before and Philly likes Thome because if you don't like Thome you're probably evil in your black heart.  Again, makes sense.  But let's think about this, and realize that Philadelphia is in the national league and unless something changed they don't have a designated hitter in that league.  Thome proved with the Twins that he can't field - at all- which is why Mike Cuddyer, Luke Hughes, Trevor Plouffe, Joe Mauer, Matt Tolbert, Brendan Harris, and Jose Morales have all played 1st in the last two years.  So he's signing on to the Phils to get a max of 162 plate appearances next year.  I mean sure, he'll probably get all 162 since it's the NL, but I can't see any way he gets more than that unless there's a rule change allowing double pinch-hits.   I mean maybe that's what Thome is looking for now, it's a pretty sweet life making seven figures to eat some seeds or chew some Redman before taking a couple hacks late in the game, but I always got the impression he wanted to start once in a while.  Also this probably doesn't belong in the "who sucks" thing but I didn't really want to make another post about it so fuck it. 



Three Final Things:

1 .  The greatest sport in the world starts tonight with college hoops kicking off with the Coaches vs. Cancer Classic.  Three games tonight (Valpo @ Arizona, William & Mary @ St. Johns, and Eastern Kentucky @ Mississippi State) and then three more Wednesday (Duquesne @ Arizona, Liberty @ Texas A&M, and Lehigh @ St. John's) get us all kicked off leading to the big day on Friday when there are 126 games.  I'm stoked, and if you're looking for a wager tonight the only game I have a feel for is Miss State -17 vs. EKU, so just do it.  Also, here is my fantasy college basketball roster:

G - Dee Bost, Miss State
G - Allen Crabbe, Cal
G - Abdul Gaddy, Washington
G - Andre Young, Clemson
G - Glen Rice, Georgia Tech
G - Faisal Aden, Wash State
G - Lorenzo Brown, NC State
G - BJ Young, Arkansas
G - Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, Georgia
G/F - Drew Crawford, Northwestern
F - Trevor Mbakwe, Minnesota
F - Drew Gordon, New Mexico
F - Chris Johnson, Dayton
F - Brandon Davies, BYU
F - Malik Cooke, South Carolina
F - Dwight Powell, Stanford
C - Josh Smith, UCLA
C - Andrew Smith, Butler
C - Meyers Leonard, Illinois
C - Krys Faber, DePaul

I smell championship.

2.  Since I'm feeling generous here is a kick-ass soup recipe, which you can make as either beef or chicken:

1 lb. chicken breast or stew meat cut into cubes (depending on if you want chicken or beef soup, obvs)
2 potatoes, cubed
2 small carrots, diced
1/2 c. chopped onion
1/2 c. chopped celery
1 1/2 c. frozen corn kernels
2 T horseradish mustard (dijon works too)
1/4 t. black pepper
1/4 t. cayenne pepper
1/2 t. garlic powder
1/2 t. salt
2 1/2 c. vegetable juice like v-8
1 1/2 c. chicken broth (or beef if making beef soup)

Combine and cook in a crockpot for 7-9 hours.  Hell yes.

3.  I got distracted and I can't remember what #3 was now.  Ok then bye.

Big Ten Preview: #9 INDIANA HOOSIERS

Seems like every year we keep waiting for Indiana to put it all together, and every year they tease you a bit but then end up crashing down like that satellite in that Dave Matthews song.  I mean, on paper they should be a pretty good team:  Maurice Creek and Christian Watford were top 50 guys, with Verdell Jones, Jordan Hulls, Derek Elston, Verdell Jones, Will Sheehey, and Victor Oladipo were all top 150 guys.  To that they add Cody Zeller who ranks as #15.  Really, that's a lot of talent on paper.

Maurice Creek has had a whole bunch of knee and leg injuries leading him to look like a shell of his former self and now looks like he's probably out for the year after another surgery and Derek Elston has been pretty lame so far, but the rest of these guys are in various stages of interesting development.  Jones isn't going to be your lead dog any time soon but can score in bunches at times.  Christian Watford is one of the best all around players in the conference, if not the country.  Jordan Hulls is annoying as shit but he's a good quality point guard who takes care of the basketball and can score when needed.  Victor Oladipo has had some serious high-flying highlights and is looking like a superb athlete.  And I don't know what Sheehey is going to develop into but I see some serious Brian Cardinal potential going on.

The biggest key for this year is Zeller.  If he's an immediate impact player who can put up a nightly double-double or near it they have a chance to at least be on the NCAA bubble at the end of the year.  If he's a year away, so are they.  Scouting reports I've read seem to say that his offensive game is already in very good shape, but based on his size and strength he's going to get pushed around a bit, which will mean defensively and on the boards he could end up being a liability.

Big men (6-10 or bigger) in the Rivals top 20 haven't fared all that greatly lately in their first year:  Adreian Payne, Fab Melo, John Henson, MouphtaouYarou, Renardo Sidney, B.J Mullens, Ater Majok, Ty Walker, Terrence Jennings, and Tony Woods all struggled for one reason or another as freshmen.  The only two exceptions were one guy who was exceptionally athletic (Perry Jones) and one guy who was exceptionally skilled (Greg Monroe).  I don't think Zeller is exceptionally athletic, but there's an outside chance he could be exceptionally skilled (although Monroe had an NBA ready body already).  His brother Tyler made an impact on the Heels the first season he got playing time as sophomore (9 pts/5 rebs per game in 17 minutes per, was buried as a freshman).

I don't know what exactly to think, but he's hyped up the ass when in reality it should be Watford getting all the preseason press.  Maybe he'll live up to it right out of the gate, but I doubt it.  In any case Crean certainly has the Hoosiers heading back towards respectability and he's already got a monster class for 2012 - 4 top 150 guys with two in the top 20.

Great.

DWG Over/Under Conference Wins:  6

Big 10 Preview: #10 Iowa Hawkeyes

I'm probably higher on Iowa than most because I see some talent here, but it's hard to see how they can rise any higher than 10th, unless you have no faith in Indiana (but I do).  Fran McCaffery had some scratching their heads when he left the mid-major mini-dynasty he created at Siena to take the Iowa job at a time when they were almost completely barren of talent or hope or intelligence, but he's made some good strides already and has things starting to look up.

The two things I love about Iowa this year are PF Melsahn Basabe and PG Bryce Cartwright.  Basabe is a wrecking crew inside and his athleticism and effort levels remind me of a younger version of Trevor Mbakwe.  And like Mbakwe he's a bit unpolished and you're not likely to see him take a shot outside of about 8 feet, but he was terrifyingly good at times last season  (6 double-doubles with 4 of those including 20+ points).  As far as young players to rebuild your program around, you could do a lot worse.

Cartwright is a bit of a paradox because even though he's a very quick point guard who can set his teammates up with the best of them (5.9 assists per game last year, 3rd in the conference), he's also got quite a bit of chucker in him as he led the team in shot attempts despite hitting at just a 39% clip (and 27% from 3-point land).  So yes, he completely dominates the ball when he's on the court.  Now, if he could dominate more in an Ed Cota kind of way rather than a Kerwin Fleming kind of way that would go along ways towards making Iowa more dangerous.

Outside of those two Iowa has the usual collection of semi-athletic white dudes.  Matt Gatens will be back for his 8th year to do what Matt Gatens does - grab a few boards, make a smart play or two, and hit a couple of shots while scoring somewhere between 8 and 14 points per game, never more or less.  Zach McCabe and Eric May will have their moments, and Andrew Brommer will have every opportunity to show off the world's worst free throw ability because there's a dearth of big men in the Iowa stable this season.  Your best bet for a breakthrough here is sophomore Roy Marble, but I'm not sure if I'm saying that because he got a lot of run from McCaffery at the end of last year or because I was a big fan of his dad.

This year is basically irrelevant anyway if you're an Iowa fan, and you should care more about the future and also shoot yourself in the face for being an Iowa fan.  McCaffery has done some nice things already recruiting-wise, starting with this season's acquisition of Josh Oglesby, a Rivals Top 150 player he stole not only from the Gophers, but from just about every midwest team including Illinois and Butler.  He's also got a nice class already secured for next season with C Adam Woodbury (Rivals #47 overall), PG Mike Gesell (#96), and three other 3-star players already on board.

Hopefully none of them work out.  I really hate Iowa.

DWG Over/Under Conference Wins:  5.5

Big 10 Preview: #11 Nebraska Corn Huskers

The biggest mystery of the new season is the Huskers, because not only are they new to the conference but they've been so bad, pretty much forever, that they're rarely on TV so it's not easy to pick up a whole lot of first hand knowledge.  So here are the two things I know from last season:  Lance Jeter was a pretty good all around point-guard, especially after he made that back-handed flip to get Giambi at home, and they have a lot of size.  Well it turns out Jeter graduated, but they still have most of their size returning.

Exhibit A on the size train is Jorge Brian Diaz, a 6-11, 245 lb. junior from Puerto Rico who is still learning the game, but scores in double-figures with an over 50% shooting percentage.  His rebound totals are a bit lower than you'd expect for somebody that big (just 4 per game), but he's an efficient scorer Nebraska will look to early and often, and he should improve this season.  The Huskers can also go with 6-11, 310 lbs. senior Andre Almeida and/or 6-10, 240 lb. Brandon Ubel to play with or in place of Diaz, both of whom had some nice moments last year and all of whom can take up some serious space.  The Gopher/Husker match up is going to cause some ground to shake.

Losing Jeter hurts, but Nebraska has a similar, ready made substitute ready to go in combo guard Bo Spencer, a transfer from LSU for academic issues which is weird because I thought LSU had no academic standards but whatevs.  Spencer was one of LSU's top scorers the three seasons he was in Baton Rouge, topping out at 14.5 points per game two seasons ago, and chipped in with 2.5 rebs and assists as well.  He should end up being the Huskers best player and leading scorer.

Spencer and Diaz give Nebraska an intriguing inside/outside combo, but unless Diaz makes a big leap in ability the absolute upside for the Huskers is probably an NIT bid.  Of course, they'll probably still beat the Gophers in Lincoln.

DWG Over/Under Conference Wins:  4.5

A solid Meh.

It's always tough to really get a read on a team after their first exhibition game.  It's their first time working together in a true competition, there's a lot of jitters on behalf of the young players, the competition is terrifyingly sub-par, and the coach might be trying out some new shtick.  In short, it's a terrible time to evaluate a team's prospects.   Which is why I'm going to ignore that.  Yes, I'm going to ignore a second unit that looked like it might be the worst in Gopher history (sans Mo Walker and Julian Welch, of course).  I'm going to ignore that a team we were told was a great shooting team not only didn't shoot great, but didn't really look to shoot.  I'm going to ignore some truly atrocious free-throw shooting and I'm going to ignore the fact that they blocked just one shot despite being probably 6 inches taller than Bemidji at ever position (of course, Bemidji's refusal to go inside at all also had something to do with it.)

What I do think you can learn from games like tonight's is tendencies about individual players, so that's what I'm going to focus on with three caveats:

1.  It's early.  I'm not projecting out to the season here, just what I saw tonight.
2.  The competition was terrible.
3.  We left with 9 minutes to go because Snacks and the Old Man are gigantic whiny babies.

So with that said, here's what I noticed tonight in the order that I think of it:

TREVOR MBAKWE:   Very tough to judge him in this kind of game against this kind of team because he's stronger, faster, quicker, and any other adjective you want to use than everybody and anybody on the other team and could score and rebound at will, but he did do a couple of things that standout and bode well for the future.  The first was that he hit a 17-footer in the first half, and the second was that his free-throws looked good with a nice touch and high arch.  If both of those continue (and he doesn't fall in love with the perimeter game which I'm not worried about) he could easily add 5+ points on his per game average.  He's lining up for a monster year, considering there's nobody else to grab rebounds.

RALPH SAMPSON:  Once a tease always a tease?  I have empirical proof that this isn't true, but what about in Ralph's case?  Stop me if you've heard this before:  Sampson, against a team which couldn't match up with him physically, came out full of confidence and aggressiveness and lit 'em up.  Still, he showcased a running hook going right and a step back jumper, both of which would be unblockable against nearly any opponent thanks to his height and wingspan.  Those moves and that aggressiveness combined with his outside touch would make him a real force this year if he keeps it up.  Key part of that sentence being "combined with his outside touch" rather than "abandoning any semblance of an inside game" that we've seen too many times before.  Cautiously optimistic.

ANDRE HOLLINS:  Extremely impressed.  Every time I hear "high-school combo guard" I immediately cringe and prepare for the worst, but Hollins looked like a point guard tonight.  His shooting numbers tonight weren't good by any means, but that seemed to be more of a function of shots not falling rather than being a poor shooter, but I'm more focused on his assists (8) vs. turnovers (0), and more importantly the way he just seemed completely in control of the offense - impressive for a freshman and probably the most impressive part of his night.  He also had no issue pushing tempo and firing the ball ahead in transition, something Tubby has said he wants to integrate into the team more this year.  Very impressed, but I guess that's to be expected considering he's the son of an NBA coach.

AUSTIN HOLLINS:  I actually didn't notice him all that much, but I have a feeling that's the kind of player he's going to be - quiet, not flashy, and then suddenly you read the box score and he put up 13 points with 6 rebs, 5 assists, and 3 steals.  He did hit a very nice elbow jumper curling off a screen and a nice 3-pointer off a kick from the block from I think Mbakwe.  Starting to think he's going to be a very solid player, and him and his cousin are going to be a very solid back court this year.  Unfortunately this is pretty much where the happy fun good news stops.

RODNEY WILLIAMS:  I'm off the bandwagon, folks.  He's now in Year 3 and still not showing anything resembling an offensive game, a jump shot, a perimeter game, ball-handling skills, or any kind of defensive or rebounding presence other than being a freak athlete.  He's still the best athlete on the team and that will get him a couple of highlight plays each night, but his fundamentals are all out of whack, he's completely passive on offense, and his average defensive play is only because his natural ability cancels out his lack of effort and focus.  I just can't do it anymore.  Andy Dufresne lied.  Hope isn't a good thing.  It's a cancer.  At least he made his free throws, so that's something.

JOE COLEMAN:  A lot of struggles tonight, and I don't know how much of that to chalk up to first game jitters.  Despite familial traits I'll chalk up his horrendous free throw shooting to nerves, and I'll even give him the benefit of the doubt on his apparent inability to handle the basketball.  If it was just those two things I'd go ahead and pass off today as a nothing event and wait for next game to get a better handle on him.  Unfortunately, however, I happen to notice things like terrible terrible terrible off-the-ball defense, and Coleman has a big ole case of it.  You watch, by the end of the year he's either going to be straight benchwarmer or have his minutes severely slashed if he doesn't get this figured out.  Do you think he's more of a Missouri Valley guy or a MAC guy?

CHIP ARMELIN:  This guy was one of the most disappointing of the night for me, simply because he seemed neutered.   Chip is not, and should not be, a rotation player.  He is the guy who should either play 4 minutes per game or 20 minutes per game - much like these weirdos who were on TV at the bar before the game who were going for the world's deepest free dive and the world's longest mile-high tightrope - thrive or die.  Here's what you do, you put Chipper in, let him do his crazy, Rico Tucker-lite, undisciplined but highly athletic thing, and if it's working you run with it and if it's a disaster you just sit him down next to whoever that midget was in the suit who kept wiping up sweat tonight.  But tonight's version of Chip was trying to be this respectable, ball-swinging, patient, disciplined player and it was just sad and wrong.  More Deshaun Thomas or Newman from Seinfeld, less boring normal guy like Chris Klein or, I don't know, David Grim?

ELLIOTT ELIASON:  I fear this is more of a Kyle Sanden thing than a Jeff Hagen thing.  I also think I just said his upside is Jeff Hagen.  Prove me wrong, prove me wrong.  There has to be more coordination there than what I saw, right?  Right?

OTO OSENIEKS:   For a guy who is supposed to be a shooter he turned down a couple of open looks.  I don't mean he passed up a wide open three-pointer with nobody on him, but he had some space where a true shooter should have put it up - and maybe I'm comparing him to Blake Hoffarber and that's not fair obviously, but he definitely deferred too much in this game.  Unless that's him, in which case he and his perm aren't going to do this team much good.

MAVERICK AHANMISI:  I didn't notice him at all, and that's a bad thing in this case.

ANDRE INGRAM:  I guess we'll end on a semi-positive note, because Ingram did look pretty athletic and I'm a retard for athletic players so I'm on board here.   He didn't get much time since he was pretty much #11, but he did seem to make a non-negative impact when he was in, other than missing a lay-up which could happen to anybody.  Like I remember when I was playing 6th grade traveling and we were playing Coon Rapids and I took the throw-in to start the second half and bolted towards the hoop and went in for a wide open lay-up and missed it and man, I was stressin'.  But then it turns out I was not only bad but also dumb because I took that pass and went towards the wrong hoop and if I had made that shot it would have been two points for Coony, not us.  So it's good I missed.  This is a fascinating story and totally relevant to Andre Ingram and you know it.

In conclusion, this game was stupid.