I'm on a plane. And it has wi-fi. What a glorious time to be alive. A lot has seemingly changed since I changed jobs and stop flying to random cities basically monthly and getting drunk on a bathroom sink full of Coors Lights. This is actually my first business trip since almost exactly a year ago when I went to LA (which is where I'm going today again). Of course, not that much has changed because the freaking reading lights don't work on this god forsaken plane, so I'm forced to either sleep or type. Awesome. Also Blake Lewis's version of "You Give Love a Bad Name" just started playing on my ipod, so I'm pretty sure I'm doing something wrong. Anyway. I'm bored. And you're going to listen to me, god help you.
- Biggest news is the signing of Josh Willingham by the Twins for 3 years, $21 million which I'm assuming has been finalized. (side note: Busta Rhymes now on the ipod, things are looking up). Considering this is very close to the contract they offered Michael Cuddyer (3 yrs, $25 mil) and they're both outfielders I think this signals the end of the Cuddyer era in Minnesota, for good or for ill. Let's look first at playing ability.
Both Cuddy and Willingham will be 33 to start next season, and although both are corner outfielders Cuddy is primarily a RF with a great arm and Willingham is a LF with a so-so arm, which automatically raises questions about what happens to the Twins' outfield since neither Span nor Revere can even get the ball from RF to 3B on the fly or so I assume. Fielding-wise, using UZR which is an advanced fielding stat that I couldn't begin to describe but is one of the more popular ones, both were equally shitty range-wise, which backs up what I've seen with my own two eyes. Add in Cuddy's ability to play a sub-par 1st, 2nd, or 3rd and the Twins do lose out slightly in the field with this swap, mostly due to the now lack of a true RF in my eyes.
Batting wise once again these two players are similar. Over the past 3 years, Cuddyer has a slightly higher average (.276 to .257), while Willingham has a slightly higher OBP (.360 to .341) and SLG (.479 to .465), which adds up to Willy's OPS+ of 125 trumping Cuddy's of 117, or about the difference between Troy Tulowitzki and Alex Gordon. Basically Willingham is probably a slightly better hitter, especially power and plate discipline-wise, while Cuddy might get a few more hits here and there. Plus Willingham has outhomered him each of the last two seasons, and although they have a virtually identical number of career HRs (Cuddy wins 141 to 132) Willingham has done it in about 1,300 fewer at-bats than Cuddyer (note: not a typo). So basically the Twins downgraded their defense a bit but upgraded offensively. Cool, you think, but what about the intangibles?
My answer to that question would be to punch you in the face if you were on this plane. Yes, Cuddyer filled a leadership void, but not because he's a great natural leader, but because SOMEBODY had to because Justin Morneau forgot where he was every 15 minutes and had to be reminded and every time Joe Mauer talked to anybody they fell asleep. I don't deny Cuddy provided a valuable service by becoming the face of the team by being in every single commerical, interview, event, and basically throwing himself in front of every camera he saw. I also don't deny that having a guy who is willing to play any position where he's needed, and can do so not embarrassingly, is a nice luxury to have. I also think both of those are very overrated on a baseball team. Not to mention him always chasing the press and forcing them to interview him kept the pressure off Mauer and Morneua, which at times is good but I would argue doing it to that extent during that kind of year is bad. I short, I will listen to your arguments that Cuddy is valuable in ways that have nothing to do with on-field performance, but I will also then dismiss this arguments with a roundhouse kick to our face and a condescending wave of my hand.
The Final piece of the puzzle is perhaps what pushes this from a pretty close to even swap that saves $4 million bucks to a great (well, good) decision by the Twins that saves $4 million bucks. Because Cuddyer was offered arbitration, that means that when Cuddy eventually signs with another team the Twins will receive both a first-round pick and a supplemental pick between rounds 1 and 2. That's good for any team, but for the Twins, whose list of prospects is getting thinner and thinner by the year, that's huge. That basically means two top-35 picks in the next draft, and even if Willingham was a notch below Cuddyer this swap might have been worth it. As it stands, it's the correct move. And if you're crying because Cuddy is gone, well, you're too dumb to care about anyway.
- Looks like this Chris Paul trade went down. Not to follow Bill Simmons' comments, but the Paul to Griffin combo is going to be pretty sick in the open court. I have no idea if Griffin is pick-n-rollable (and actually I don't know if Paul is either), but if they're both adept at the play look out. They also (reportedly) managed to do it without gutting their team. Paul, Billups (who they may regret adding at this point), Bledsoe, DeAndre Jordan, Griffin, and Caron Butler is absolutely a contender, especially if Bledsoe matures (and Jordan to a lesser extent). Not to mention they have decent vet rotation guys in Gomes and Foye (thanks Wolves), and a bunch of young guys (Willie Warren, Travis Leslie, Trey Thompkins). If one of those youngsters breaks out look the hell out. I grabbed some Clips to win the whole thing action at 15-1 last night when it started to look like they were close to getting Paul (heard it was 50-1 earlier in the day, dammit). Interested to see where that goes to.
And it's not like the Hornets screwed themselves either. Kaman is a serviceable center in a league with very few of them, Aminu sucks but has potential, and Eric Gordon is probably one of the best young players in the league (there's a Bill Simmons column on that but I'll be damned if I can find it now). Then there's the pick from the Wolves, which, no matter how optimistic you are, you have to admit is going to be in the lottery. Hopefully it's late, but even if it's late that doesn't mean it ends up late. Especially because the Clippers just traded it, upping the odds it ends up in the top 3 by at least triple. It's a waaaaaay better package than they were getting in the Lakers/Rockets swap so, at least for now, it kind of looks like the league knows what it's doing.
I'm sure there is plenty more to write about, but the plane is landing shortly and they're saying something about turning stuff off, so I must go. Later.
Showing posts with label Michael Cuddyer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Michael Cuddyer. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Twins/A's Live Blog - 7/29/11
Well let's see: kids are asleep, wife is sick and passed out in bed fro the Nyquil I slipped into a glass of wine, the Twins have a late game and I have brand new bottle of Captain Morgan, a mostly full 2-liter of ginger ale, and a few sticks of Lawry's hickory beef jerky sitting around. Yeah. I might as well blog the game. What else am I gonna do, watch it with nothing to distract me?
10:00 - We are just beginning the top of the fourth, Twins lead 3-2. And I've looked at that three times and thought maybe the 3 was a typo or a backwards E and the misspelled Twins, but apparently the Twins are actually leading. Weird.
10:02 - Two quick outs and then a single by Tolbert, who is back on the big league club because he has a pulse and Alexi Casilla is on the DL which is weird because I never even knew he was hurt. How did this happen? Is this one of those injuries where you sneeze and throw out your back or burn your hand on the grill trying to save a piece of ostrich burger from slipping through the grate onto the dirty coals below? Also, I guarantee I miss Casilla more than I ever would have thought possible right now. WAY TO BE ADEQUATE, guy.
10:04 - While I was looking up the spelling of adequate to make sure I had it right (I did) whoever was up popped out. I'm going guess it was Butera. But man can that son a bitch sling that pill. He should be a pitcher.
10:05 - Actually he'd be a terrible pitcher because, although he could probably touch 98 on the gun, his ball is completely straight, as it should be for a catcher, so he'd just get ripped. Although Matt Capps seems to find a modicum of success by throwing a straight ball and it's about 8 mph slower, so who knows? They should try it. Couldn't be worse than Dumatrait.
10:07 - Clearly Liriano brought his A-game tonight since he just gave up a double to Hideki freaking Matsui. Of course, even though he's having by far the worst season of his major league career he'd still be the fourth best hitter on the Twins. Seriously he'd be third in extra-base hits and fourth in OPS+. OPS+, you'll remember, takes your OPS and compares it to the league average and spits out a number where 100 = completely average hitter. Matsui's is 96 this year. And he'd be fifth on the Twins. And that's if you count Thome and Kubel. I'm moving out of state.
10:12 - Damn. Just read that Asomugha signed with the Eagles. He was almost a Jet and I wanted to see what that would be like with Asomugha and Revis on the same team. Would teams throw at all? And you could always have an extra safety to either play up to stop the run or load up against a TE or a 3rd wideout. How could anybody ever score ever? I really wanted to see that. Freaking jerks. Also the Twins turned a DP and are out of the inning.
10:15 - Ben Revere just picked up a bunt hit by making and absolutely terrible bunt that he popped up over the pitchers head but beat it out because he's so god damn fast. That was a terrible terrible play but holy god on a cracker is he fun to watch.
10:16 - Speaking of Revere I just don't know about this possible Span trade. I don't think Revere is ready to be a leadoff hitter and they don't have another one. On the other hand it's not like Span is the greatest player in the world, and he's basically an average leadoff hitter and that's it. I guess if Drew Storen is included I won't hate it hate it, but I just can't imagine loving a Span trade. He still has value for the next several years.
10:18 - Steal by Revere, base hit by Plouffe to score him, and then a single by Mauer. Shit, if I knew it was gonna be that kinda party I'd a sticked my dick in the mashed potatoes.
10:22 - Well this will shock you, but Cuddy just struck out on a ball outside of the strikezone. Honest to god it doesn't even matter how well he may be running or hot hot he is at least once a week he's going to have an at-bat where he honest to god looks like he's never played baseball before. It's a law, like water or dinosaurs.
10:25 - Dick just called Cliff Pennington "Chris" Pennington. Ha ha you're old. Serious question though, do you really think Dick knows a lot about baseball? Or John Gordon for that matter? Do you think they ever watch a game they aren't calling? Do you think either of them ever read up on what's going on around the league other than to prep for the team the Twins are about to play? How many National League players do you think they could name combined? Albert Pujols, Roy Halladay, and about 8-10 former Twins? Probably a couple of Brewers? Seriously, do you think they could tell you anything about Brian McCann? It's not like he's a household name but he's a damn good player, maybe the best catcher in baseball, and a guy any MLB fan would know, but I think if you put the two of them in a room together and asked them to tell you who McCann is they'd probably piece it together but there answers would have a lot of question marks attached. "Uh, Atlanta?" "Umm, I think he's a catcher?" Am I off here.
10:36 - By the way, we won our co-ed softball championship. It was awesome because the team we beat was a bunch of douchers, especially their pitcher, and he got doubled off first on a line drive for the last out of the game and then probably went home and killed himself. Also great was in the semifinal when we beat another douche team whose biggest douche guy was their shortstop, and in one of the last innings with two outs we had Snacks on first and another fast guy up (whose nickname is Douche, interestingly enough) and after Douche singled Snacks was on third and their doucher shortstop had the ball and we know he's dumb so Douche dances off the base just far enough to entice douchestop to throw it to first at which point Snacks takes off for home and their first base girl stands there like she's lost and the radio is playing some Sixpence None the Richer and Snacks scores. And it's great because we won by one run. Such it douche shortstop.
10:40 - Bases loaded and one out for Revere after a four-pitch walk to Butera. Think about that one. I'm thinking maybe Gio Gonzalez doesn't have it tonight. Honestly just throw the ball down the middle to Butera, even if he makes great contact it's probably still just a fly out. Sure can fire that ball though.
10:43 - And Gonzalez walks Revere to force in a run. Again, it's Ben Revere. Just throw the damn thing down the middle. The farthest he can hit it would be just short of the center fielder. It's like a real hitter try to hit a kitten ball - it's just not going to go that far. Good lord it would suck to be an A's fan. Way to go, Bear. way to go.
10:50 - Jesus Blyleven has his Joe Mauer love pants on tonight. He's complimented Mauer as a "great hitter" three times already tonight and compared him to Wade Boggs (a guy whose career average Mauer has only beaten in a season twice). The latest - Mauer is so good, he's just not afraid to get to 0-2 in the count, he knows he can hit. Ok. I'm going to go ahead and look this up. Hold on. Mauer this year: 1-29 after reaching 0-2 in an at-bat. Once again Bertram, your insight is compelling and sounds good but is completely inaccurate. Just like your face.
10:58 - Whoa, look at that. Suddenly it's the bottom of the sixth and the A's have two runners on with nobody out. This is kind of shit that happens if I don't pay attention. At least Conor Jackson is up, although thinks would be better for the Twins if it was Daric Barton. What do you think Dick could tell you about either of those guys? Seriously, am I wrong here?
11:00 - Bob Welch and Barry Zito both won Cy Young awards? Maybe we just blow that award right up.
11:01 - Wait, you're going to tell me Matsui wasn't out of the baseline there? He was on the infield grass. Clearly I don't understand the rule.
11:03 - Speaking of things I don't understand, why would anybody give WR1 money to James Jones? Apparently he's a huge target of some teams this offseason and the Vikings might be one of them. Honest to little baby mary jesus whoever gives him a truckload of cash is going to end up with nothing but blue balls from all the excitement he doesn't deliver on. The guy is absolutely freaking terrible. And for those of you in my fantasy leagues no this is not a bit or a feint to throw you off - he's awful and I'd never draft him. He catches as well as the Venus de Milo.
11:11 - Delmon Young walked. So that's weird.
11:13 - Hughesy strikes out to end the threat. Probably because Dawger loves him.
11:14 - Gotta say, I think this new Planet of the Apes movie looks kind of good. And I have no interest in any of the Planet of the Apes movies outside of Estella Warren's sweet can in the Marky Mark version. Whatever happened to that broad? She should probably do a shark movie on SyFy.
11:20 - 1-2-3 seventh for Liriano. Twins winning 5-2 still. Beef jerky gone. Still plenty of booze. Interest level = waning. Luckily Liriano is done and they're going to the pen so things are going to get interesting in a hurry. I just hope we either get some Dumatrait or some Burnett. Smells like runs!
11:24 - Bert think the reason Oakland has never had a batting champion is because of all the foul territory that's in play at their stadium. and this is the part where I feel stupid because I only wrote that prior sentence because I was sure Carney Lansford won a batting title when he was with Oakland and was going to point that out but it turns out Lansford won it when he was with Boston. Oops. He did, at least, finish second in 1989.
11:29 - Butera with a double! Don't worry, he just placed it down the line perfectly he didn't hit it to the wall or anything so you don't have to change your worldview.
11:31 - RBI Babe Plouffe. All he does is produce.
11:31 - That swing right there Cuddyer. That's pathetic. That's not an all-star swing and hell that's not even a professional swing. More of a "Joes vs. Pros" thing where this particular Joe never played baseball in his god damn life. I like Cuddy, I really do, but holy black taco does he ever frustrate.
11:33 - Well now he just hit a 3-run dong. All I do is motivate. Suck it, Bear.
11:36 - Funny thing is that this Michael Wuertz guy is supposedly one of the guys the A's should look to move because there's a lot of interest. This probably isn't going to help, especially since after that home run he's now walked Mauer and Young back-to-back. Yes that's two walks for Delmon. I'm assuming that's a career high. Also I would have bet you money that Wuertz was a lefty. I guess I don't know players as well as I thought. OH NO!! I'M DICK BREMER!!!
11:43 - 9-2 as we go to the bottom of the 8th. Boredness and tiredness levels off the charts. So instead here is a picture of Gardy at the greatest bar in the world, Roddy's in North St. Paul.
He may not have a freaking clue how to manage a game, but his taste in drinking establishments is impeccable.
11:50 - So this is interesting. No, not the game, even though Jose Mijares is just lollypopping the ball and the A's have a couple runners going. Apparently the Pirates are hard after Jason Kubel. I love Kubel and would hate to see him go (home run Josh Willingham, it's now 9-5 - trade Mijares now before he eats himself out of interest), but depending on what you get back, you never know. The Pirates are loaded with pitching prospects (always a plus) and also one of their top prospect guys is a catcher, which would give the Twins the flexibility to make Mauer play somewhere else. I don't know, but it's pretty interesting.
12:07 - Alex Burnett is so bad.
12:14 - Twins win. I'm tired. You suck.
10:00 - We are just beginning the top of the fourth, Twins lead 3-2. And I've looked at that three times and thought maybe the 3 was a typo or a backwards E and the misspelled Twins, but apparently the Twins are actually leading. Weird.
10:02 - Two quick outs and then a single by Tolbert, who is back on the big league club because he has a pulse and Alexi Casilla is on the DL which is weird because I never even knew he was hurt. How did this happen? Is this one of those injuries where you sneeze and throw out your back or burn your hand on the grill trying to save a piece of ostrich burger from slipping through the grate onto the dirty coals below? Also, I guarantee I miss Casilla more than I ever would have thought possible right now. WAY TO BE ADEQUATE, guy.
10:04 - While I was looking up the spelling of adequate to make sure I had it right (I did) whoever was up popped out. I'm going guess it was Butera. But man can that son a bitch sling that pill. He should be a pitcher.
10:05 - Actually he'd be a terrible pitcher because, although he could probably touch 98 on the gun, his ball is completely straight, as it should be for a catcher, so he'd just get ripped. Although Matt Capps seems to find a modicum of success by throwing a straight ball and it's about 8 mph slower, so who knows? They should try it. Couldn't be worse than Dumatrait.
10:07 - Clearly Liriano brought his A-game tonight since he just gave up a double to Hideki freaking Matsui. Of course, even though he's having by far the worst season of his major league career he'd still be the fourth best hitter on the Twins. Seriously he'd be third in extra-base hits and fourth in OPS+. OPS+, you'll remember, takes your OPS and compares it to the league average and spits out a number where 100 = completely average hitter. Matsui's is 96 this year. And he'd be fifth on the Twins. And that's if you count Thome and Kubel. I'm moving out of state.
10:12 - Damn. Just read that Asomugha signed with the Eagles. He was almost a Jet and I wanted to see what that would be like with Asomugha and Revis on the same team. Would teams throw at all? And you could always have an extra safety to either play up to stop the run or load up against a TE or a 3rd wideout. How could anybody ever score ever? I really wanted to see that. Freaking jerks. Also the Twins turned a DP and are out of the inning.
10:15 - Ben Revere just picked up a bunt hit by making and absolutely terrible bunt that he popped up over the pitchers head but beat it out because he's so god damn fast. That was a terrible terrible play but holy god on a cracker is he fun to watch.
10:16 - Speaking of Revere I just don't know about this possible Span trade. I don't think Revere is ready to be a leadoff hitter and they don't have another one. On the other hand it's not like Span is the greatest player in the world, and he's basically an average leadoff hitter and that's it. I guess if Drew Storen is included I won't hate it hate it, but I just can't imagine loving a Span trade. He still has value for the next several years.
10:18 - Steal by Revere, base hit by Plouffe to score him, and then a single by Mauer. Shit, if I knew it was gonna be that kinda party I'd a sticked my dick in the mashed potatoes.
10:22 - Well this will shock you, but Cuddy just struck out on a ball outside of the strikezone. Honest to god it doesn't even matter how well he may be running or hot hot he is at least once a week he's going to have an at-bat where he honest to god looks like he's never played baseball before. It's a law, like water or dinosaurs.
10:25 - Dick just called Cliff Pennington "Chris" Pennington. Ha ha you're old. Serious question though, do you really think Dick knows a lot about baseball? Or John Gordon for that matter? Do you think they ever watch a game they aren't calling? Do you think either of them ever read up on what's going on around the league other than to prep for the team the Twins are about to play? How many National League players do you think they could name combined? Albert Pujols, Roy Halladay, and about 8-10 former Twins? Probably a couple of Brewers? Seriously, do you think they could tell you anything about Brian McCann? It's not like he's a household name but he's a damn good player, maybe the best catcher in baseball, and a guy any MLB fan would know, but I think if you put the two of them in a room together and asked them to tell you who McCann is they'd probably piece it together but there answers would have a lot of question marks attached. "Uh, Atlanta?" "Umm, I think he's a catcher?" Am I off here.
10:36 - By the way, we won our co-ed softball championship. It was awesome because the team we beat was a bunch of douchers, especially their pitcher, and he got doubled off first on a line drive for the last out of the game and then probably went home and killed himself. Also great was in the semifinal when we beat another douche team whose biggest douche guy was their shortstop, and in one of the last innings with two outs we had Snacks on first and another fast guy up (whose nickname is Douche, interestingly enough) and after Douche singled Snacks was on third and their doucher shortstop had the ball and we know he's dumb so Douche dances off the base just far enough to entice douchestop to throw it to first at which point Snacks takes off for home and their first base girl stands there like she's lost and the radio is playing some Sixpence None the Richer and Snacks scores. And it's great because we won by one run. Such it douche shortstop.
10:40 - Bases loaded and one out for Revere after a four-pitch walk to Butera. Think about that one. I'm thinking maybe Gio Gonzalez doesn't have it tonight. Honestly just throw the ball down the middle to Butera, even if he makes great contact it's probably still just a fly out. Sure can fire that ball though.
10:43 - And Gonzalez walks Revere to force in a run. Again, it's Ben Revere. Just throw the damn thing down the middle. The farthest he can hit it would be just short of the center fielder. It's like a real hitter try to hit a kitten ball - it's just not going to go that far. Good lord it would suck to be an A's fan. Way to go, Bear. way to go.
10:50 - Jesus Blyleven has his Joe Mauer love pants on tonight. He's complimented Mauer as a "great hitter" three times already tonight and compared him to Wade Boggs (a guy whose career average Mauer has only beaten in a season twice). The latest - Mauer is so good, he's just not afraid to get to 0-2 in the count, he knows he can hit. Ok. I'm going to go ahead and look this up. Hold on. Mauer this year: 1-29 after reaching 0-2 in an at-bat. Once again Bertram, your insight is compelling and sounds good but is completely inaccurate. Just like your face.
10:58 - Whoa, look at that. Suddenly it's the bottom of the sixth and the A's have two runners on with nobody out. This is kind of shit that happens if I don't pay attention. At least Conor Jackson is up, although thinks would be better for the Twins if it was Daric Barton. What do you think Dick could tell you about either of those guys? Seriously, am I wrong here?
11:00 - Bob Welch and Barry Zito both won Cy Young awards? Maybe we just blow that award right up.
11:01 - Wait, you're going to tell me Matsui wasn't out of the baseline there? He was on the infield grass. Clearly I don't understand the rule.
11:03 - Speaking of things I don't understand, why would anybody give WR1 money to James Jones? Apparently he's a huge target of some teams this offseason and the Vikings might be one of them. Honest to little baby mary jesus whoever gives him a truckload of cash is going to end up with nothing but blue balls from all the excitement he doesn't deliver on. The guy is absolutely freaking terrible. And for those of you in my fantasy leagues no this is not a bit or a feint to throw you off - he's awful and I'd never draft him. He catches as well as the Venus de Milo.
11:11 - Delmon Young walked. So that's weird.
11:13 - Hughesy strikes out to end the threat. Probably because Dawger loves him.
11:14 - Gotta say, I think this new Planet of the Apes movie looks kind of good. And I have no interest in any of the Planet of the Apes movies outside of Estella Warren's sweet can in the Marky Mark version. Whatever happened to that broad? She should probably do a shark movie on SyFy.
11:20 - 1-2-3 seventh for Liriano. Twins winning 5-2 still. Beef jerky gone. Still plenty of booze. Interest level = waning. Luckily Liriano is done and they're going to the pen so things are going to get interesting in a hurry. I just hope we either get some Dumatrait or some Burnett. Smells like runs!
11:24 - Bert think the reason Oakland has never had a batting champion is because of all the foul territory that's in play at their stadium. and this is the part where I feel stupid because I only wrote that prior sentence because I was sure Carney Lansford won a batting title when he was with Oakland and was going to point that out but it turns out Lansford won it when he was with Boston. Oops. He did, at least, finish second in 1989.
11:29 - Butera with a double! Don't worry, he just placed it down the line perfectly he didn't hit it to the wall or anything so you don't have to change your worldview.
11:31 - RBI Babe Plouffe. All he does is produce.
11:31 - That swing right there Cuddyer. That's pathetic. That's not an all-star swing and hell that's not even a professional swing. More of a "Joes vs. Pros" thing where this particular Joe never played baseball in his god damn life. I like Cuddy, I really do, but holy black taco does he ever frustrate.
11:33 - Well now he just hit a 3-run dong. All I do is motivate. Suck it, Bear.
11:36 - Funny thing is that this Michael Wuertz guy is supposedly one of the guys the A's should look to move because there's a lot of interest. This probably isn't going to help, especially since after that home run he's now walked Mauer and Young back-to-back. Yes that's two walks for Delmon. I'm assuming that's a career high. Also I would have bet you money that Wuertz was a lefty. I guess I don't know players as well as I thought. OH NO!! I'M DICK BREMER!!!
11:43 - 9-2 as we go to the bottom of the 8th. Boredness and tiredness levels off the charts. So instead here is a picture of Gardy at the greatest bar in the world, Roddy's in North St. Paul.
He may not have a freaking clue how to manage a game, but his taste in drinking establishments is impeccable.
11:50 - So this is interesting. No, not the game, even though Jose Mijares is just lollypopping the ball and the A's have a couple runners going. Apparently the Pirates are hard after Jason Kubel. I love Kubel and would hate to see him go (home run Josh Willingham, it's now 9-5 - trade Mijares now before he eats himself out of interest), but depending on what you get back, you never know. The Pirates are loaded with pitching prospects (always a plus) and also one of their top prospect guys is a catcher, which would give the Twins the flexibility to make Mauer play somewhere else. I don't know, but it's pretty interesting.
12:07 - Alex Burnett is so bad.
12:14 - Twins win. I'm tired. You suck.
Monday, July 11, 2011
MLB 2011 Mid-Year Check-In, Part I
Since we're at the symbolic mid-year point for the 2011 MLB season, I might as well give you some thoughts to chew on from my super smart brain. I'm going to go with the pleasant resultss so far this year today, and tomorrow I'll toss out the big disappointments. As usual, we'll be covering the entire league as well as your local nine. In no particular order:
1. Michael Cuddyer. I wrote him up glowingly just a week ago, but I'm just stunned by my own turnaround him. Thanks to his knack for picking up his hitting when the team most needs his bat as well as his willingness to play wherever and whenever he's needed (unlike many others on this sissified team) I've come around on everything I used to hate. The two things I hated most were his inability to law off the outside slider in the dirt when he had 2 strikes even though he knows it's coming and his media-whore-ishness.
At this point, however, I've just come to accept that almost everybody has a hole in their swing and that's just his, and I'm beginning to realize his mediawhoreishness is really just attempt to be a team leader. Seeing how Joe Mauer is an emotionless robot and Justin Morneau usually can no longer remember what day it is or what his name is, Cuddy's tried to become the leader the team needs. Since he's really just a country bumpkin at heart it doesn't really come off all that well but at least he's trying.
Hopefully they trade him for a prospect and then resign him at a reduced price next season. Although I want Kubel back as well. So I guess they need to trade Delmon Young, whose value is at an all-time low, and Denard Span, who looks like he may never play again. This team can't even build a roster correctly.
2. Jose Bautista. Let me guess. You, like everybody else, figured Jose Bautista for a Brady Anderson like fluke last year, whether it was due to steroids or just some weird convergence of craziness or something. I did, but after his start to this year - leading the majors with 31 homers already - I'm sold. Maybe I'm really stupid, and obviously it's not out of the questions that he's getting pharmacological help for two years rather than just the one, but I'm now a believer. Maybe I just want to believe. I don't know. It's not like this kind of neither never happens - it's just rare.
3. Ben Revere. I have to admit I was never really all that excited for Ben Revere. All I ever heard was how he was basically the next Juan Pierre, and statistically Pierre isn't all that great. He gets a lot of hits but makes a lot of outs because he never walks and he's fast with no power. I wasn't interested. But now that Revere is here, I get the good stuff.
Yeah, he'd still be better if he walked a bit more often and unless he develops some power he's going to struggle because the outfielders, especially the left-fielders, can play him shallow and take away that slap single to left, but he's fun to watch, no doubt. Incredible fast, maybe the fastest Twin on the bases I can remember along with Guzman and Gomez, hits well enough, can steal bases, and is the best defensive CFer the team has had since Puckett. I'm on board. Whether he can ever develop into a true leadoff type hitter or will be more doomed to be a #9 is yet to be seen, but his downside is an exciting bottom of the order guy with his upside an all-star lead off hitter. What's not to love?
4. Adrian Gonzalez. Remember how Gonzalez put up like sickening good numbers hitting in the grand canyon that is Petco Park while being surrounded in the lineup by guys like Chase Headley and Ryan Klesko and everybody said that he'd kill the league after he signed with Boston? Well it's happening. .354 to lead the league with 77 rbi to lead the league and 17 homers (ranks 10th). If you're curious, a season with a .350 BA, 25 homers, and 120 rbi has only been done three times since 2000 (Pujols, Larry Walker, Magglio Ordonez) and not once since 2007. Pretty crazy stuff.
5. Justin Verlander. Speaking of crazy, Verlander is having an absolute monster year of a career year, which is pretty amazing considering he's already finished in the top-11 in Cy Young voting four times in his six year career. His ERA of 2.15 is a full run better than his previous career best while his WHIP of 0.87 is 0.3 better than his career high and his 12 wins so far are nearly 2/3rds of the way to his high of 19 (that's right, somehow Verlander has never won 20 in a season). Looking at the nerd stats he's pitching nearly identically to how he usually does style wise, but the results have been better so we can expect Verlander to come back towards his career averages a bit (which is good for Twins' fans) but he's still a damn good pitcher either way wit the inside track on his first Cy Young win. I really really wish the Twins could find a way to get somebody like this someday. Come on, Kyle Gibson.
6. Jose Reyes. The Mets aren't very good or anything, but have been slightly better than expected aat around .500 and the biggest reason is that Jose Reyes has been completely and totally ridiculous. He's currently leading the NL in batting average at .354 which is made even more ridiculous by the fact that he was hitting just .310 on May 22nd but has hit .413 in the 34 games since with multiple hits in 22 of those 34 games. Basically with a crappy team whose #2 and #3 players are hurt in David Wright and Johan Santana they're in a position to get a huge return if they can find a trade partner for Reyes. He's a free agent so they need to move him (or sign him I guess since they're a New York team). Maybe the Twins could get him for a Mauer + Casilla combo. Do it.
7. Paul Konerko. Sort of lost in all the hub-bub over Jose Bautista transforming from 4th outfielder to most feared hitter in the AL has been Konerko's transformation from washed up old man to 2nd most feared hitter in the AL. Although I'm sure all Twins' fans have noticed. From 2004-2006 he was incredible with 3 top-22 MVP years, but then started a skid that looked like it was pretty much the final slide of his career. In fact, for 3 straight years from 2007-2009 he was pretty average and an average hitting first baseman isn't very good. But then last year - boom - .312 with 39 homers and he's continued it this year by hitting .319 with 22 HRs to this point. Actually, know that I think about, Konerko's resurgence should probably be more suspicious than Bautista's transformation, but it just isn't because he's a rare commodity (a non-douchey White Sock) and it's fun to say Konerko Konorked it.
8. Scott Baker. With all the hand-wringing over the Twins', and particularly over the state of the starting pitching, somehow it's been lost that Baker is having a career year. His ERA at the break is just 3.01, ranking him tenth in the AL, which is a full run better than his career mark. And, after an uncharacteristic start to the season where he was struggling to find the strike zone he's now got his walk rate down back where it traditionally belongs and is doing it while putting up a career high strikeout rate. Basically he appears to really be coming into his own and he's doing it by doing things he can control: strikeout rate, walk rate, and home run rate (which is down this year). He's shown too many flashes in the past for me to be straight up excited by this and I have to say there's a big part of me that's just waiting for the regression, but I'm definitely mildly intrigued.
9. Michael Pineda. Credit goes to Snake for drafting this guy for our fantasy team, but he's been an absolute gem. His 8 wins lead all AL rookie pitchers and he also leads in WHIP at 1.04, ERA at 3.03, and strikeouts at 103. In short, he's been a complete rookie stud who is the leading candidate to win AL Rookie-of-the-Year and a fabulous compliment to Felix Hernandez, giving Seattle an excellent 1-2 punch at the top of the rotation. Unfortunately outside of those two, Justin Smoak, Ichiro, and Dustin Ackley the entire team is worse than the worst Twin. Yeah, for real.
10. Pittsburgh Pirates. Speaking of teams that are usually really bad you have to hand it to the Pirates who, at 47-43, have a decent chance to finish over .500 for the first time in 18 years, and actually sent three players to the All-Star game. Since they hired Neal Huntington as GM in 2007 they've been very patient and have worked to build their farm system and it's now starting to pay off (not unlike what the Royals are doing). They've mainly worked through the draft (picking up Andrew McCutchen, Neil Walker, Pedro Alvarez) that way, but have also done well in trades, nabbing Jose Tabata from the Yankees (in the Xavier Nady/Damaso Marte trade that also netted Jeff Karstens), Ronny Cedeno from the Mariners for Jack Wilson, as well as starters James McDonald (from the Dodgers) and Charlie Morton (from the Cubs) for Octavio Dotel and Nate McLouth and they signed all-star Kevin Correia as a free agent and grabbed all-star Joel Hanrahan from the Nats for nothing. They're definitely building something in Pittsburgh. Whether they can go any further or if this is it, it's gotta be exciting if you're a Pirate fan. Assuming those still exist.
1. Michael Cuddyer. I wrote him up glowingly just a week ago, but I'm just stunned by my own turnaround him. Thanks to his knack for picking up his hitting when the team most needs his bat as well as his willingness to play wherever and whenever he's needed (unlike many others on this sissified team) I've come around on everything I used to hate. The two things I hated most were his inability to law off the outside slider in the dirt when he had 2 strikes even though he knows it's coming and his media-whore-ishness.
At this point, however, I've just come to accept that almost everybody has a hole in their swing and that's just his, and I'm beginning to realize his mediawhoreishness is really just attempt to be a team leader. Seeing how Joe Mauer is an emotionless robot and Justin Morneau usually can no longer remember what day it is or what his name is, Cuddy's tried to become the leader the team needs. Since he's really just a country bumpkin at heart it doesn't really come off all that well but at least he's trying.
Hopefully they trade him for a prospect and then resign him at a reduced price next season. Although I want Kubel back as well. So I guess they need to trade Delmon Young, whose value is at an all-time low, and Denard Span, who looks like he may never play again. This team can't even build a roster correctly.
2. Jose Bautista. Let me guess. You, like everybody else, figured Jose Bautista for a Brady Anderson like fluke last year, whether it was due to steroids or just some weird convergence of craziness or something. I did, but after his start to this year - leading the majors with 31 homers already - I'm sold. Maybe I'm really stupid, and obviously it's not out of the questions that he's getting pharmacological help for two years rather than just the one, but I'm now a believer. Maybe I just want to believe. I don't know. It's not like this kind of neither never happens - it's just rare.
3. Ben Revere. I have to admit I was never really all that excited for Ben Revere. All I ever heard was how he was basically the next Juan Pierre, and statistically Pierre isn't all that great. He gets a lot of hits but makes a lot of outs because he never walks and he's fast with no power. I wasn't interested. But now that Revere is here, I get the good stuff.
Yeah, he'd still be better if he walked a bit more often and unless he develops some power he's going to struggle because the outfielders, especially the left-fielders, can play him shallow and take away that slap single to left, but he's fun to watch, no doubt. Incredible fast, maybe the fastest Twin on the bases I can remember along with Guzman and Gomez, hits well enough, can steal bases, and is the best defensive CFer the team has had since Puckett. I'm on board. Whether he can ever develop into a true leadoff type hitter or will be more doomed to be a #9 is yet to be seen, but his downside is an exciting bottom of the order guy with his upside an all-star lead off hitter. What's not to love?
4. Adrian Gonzalez. Remember how Gonzalez put up like sickening good numbers hitting in the grand canyon that is Petco Park while being surrounded in the lineup by guys like Chase Headley and Ryan Klesko and everybody said that he'd kill the league after he signed with Boston? Well it's happening. .354 to lead the league with 77 rbi to lead the league and 17 homers (ranks 10th). If you're curious, a season with a .350 BA, 25 homers, and 120 rbi has only been done three times since 2000 (Pujols, Larry Walker, Magglio Ordonez) and not once since 2007. Pretty crazy stuff.
5. Justin Verlander. Speaking of crazy, Verlander is having an absolute monster year of a career year, which is pretty amazing considering he's already finished in the top-11 in Cy Young voting four times in his six year career. His ERA of 2.15 is a full run better than his previous career best while his WHIP of 0.87 is 0.3 better than his career high and his 12 wins so far are nearly 2/3rds of the way to his high of 19 (that's right, somehow Verlander has never won 20 in a season). Looking at the nerd stats he's pitching nearly identically to how he usually does style wise, but the results have been better so we can expect Verlander to come back towards his career averages a bit (which is good for Twins' fans) but he's still a damn good pitcher either way wit the inside track on his first Cy Young win. I really really wish the Twins could find a way to get somebody like this someday. Come on, Kyle Gibson.
6. Jose Reyes. The Mets aren't very good or anything, but have been slightly better than expected aat around .500 and the biggest reason is that Jose Reyes has been completely and totally ridiculous. He's currently leading the NL in batting average at .354 which is made even more ridiculous by the fact that he was hitting just .310 on May 22nd but has hit .413 in the 34 games since with multiple hits in 22 of those 34 games. Basically with a crappy team whose #2 and #3 players are hurt in David Wright and Johan Santana they're in a position to get a huge return if they can find a trade partner for Reyes. He's a free agent so they need to move him (or sign him I guess since they're a New York team). Maybe the Twins could get him for a Mauer + Casilla combo. Do it.
7. Paul Konerko. Sort of lost in all the hub-bub over Jose Bautista transforming from 4th outfielder to most feared hitter in the AL has been Konerko's transformation from washed up old man to 2nd most feared hitter in the AL. Although I'm sure all Twins' fans have noticed. From 2004-2006 he was incredible with 3 top-22 MVP years, but then started a skid that looked like it was pretty much the final slide of his career. In fact, for 3 straight years from 2007-2009 he was pretty average and an average hitting first baseman isn't very good. But then last year - boom - .312 with 39 homers and he's continued it this year by hitting .319 with 22 HRs to this point. Actually, know that I think about, Konerko's resurgence should probably be more suspicious than Bautista's transformation, but it just isn't because he's a rare commodity (a non-douchey White Sock) and it's fun to say Konerko Konorked it.
8. Scott Baker. With all the hand-wringing over the Twins', and particularly over the state of the starting pitching, somehow it's been lost that Baker is having a career year. His ERA at the break is just 3.01, ranking him tenth in the AL, which is a full run better than his career mark. And, after an uncharacteristic start to the season where he was struggling to find the strike zone he's now got his walk rate down back where it traditionally belongs and is doing it while putting up a career high strikeout rate. Basically he appears to really be coming into his own and he's doing it by doing things he can control: strikeout rate, walk rate, and home run rate (which is down this year). He's shown too many flashes in the past for me to be straight up excited by this and I have to say there's a big part of me that's just waiting for the regression, but I'm definitely mildly intrigued.
9. Michael Pineda. Credit goes to Snake for drafting this guy for our fantasy team, but he's been an absolute gem. His 8 wins lead all AL rookie pitchers and he also leads in WHIP at 1.04, ERA at 3.03, and strikeouts at 103. In short, he's been a complete rookie stud who is the leading candidate to win AL Rookie-of-the-Year and a fabulous compliment to Felix Hernandez, giving Seattle an excellent 1-2 punch at the top of the rotation. Unfortunately outside of those two, Justin Smoak, Ichiro, and Dustin Ackley the entire team is worse than the worst Twin. Yeah, for real.
10. Pittsburgh Pirates. Speaking of teams that are usually really bad you have to hand it to the Pirates who, at 47-43, have a decent chance to finish over .500 for the first time in 18 years, and actually sent three players to the All-Star game. Since they hired Neal Huntington as GM in 2007 they've been very patient and have worked to build their farm system and it's now starting to pay off (not unlike what the Royals are doing). They've mainly worked through the draft (picking up Andrew McCutchen, Neil Walker, Pedro Alvarez) that way, but have also done well in trades, nabbing Jose Tabata from the Yankees (in the Xavier Nady/Damaso Marte trade that also netted Jeff Karstens), Ronny Cedeno from the Mariners for Jack Wilson, as well as starters James McDonald (from the Dodgers) and Charlie Morton (from the Cubs) for Octavio Dotel and Nate McLouth and they signed all-star Kevin Correia as a free agent and grabbed all-star Joel Hanrahan from the Nats for nothing. They're definitely building something in Pittsburgh. Whether they can go any further or if this is it, it's gotta be exciting if you're a Pirate fan. Assuming those still exist.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Week in Review - 7-4-2011
Happy fourth of July everyone. And that will be the entirety of my introduction.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Mike Cuddyer. It pains me to praise Cuddy. There's so much to hate: inability to understand what a "strike zone" is, inability to realize that he's getting that down and away in the dirt slider every time he has 2 strikes, and constant media whoring to name a few, but sometimes you gotta give credit where it's due: Congrats on making your first all-star time, Cuddy Bear. There's something to be said for a guy who can and will play LF, RF, 2b, 3b, 1b, and SS, especially on a team with a bunch of prima donnas who "don't like to DH" or "refuse to play anywhere except catcher." More importantly though is he almost seems to have a knack for picking up his hitting when the team needs him most. First, back in 2009 when he basically carried the offense on his back after Morneau went down and then currently with all the injuries with him being on fire since May. He's not really an all-star, but they do have to pick one person from every team (Ron Coomer made it once for christ's sake) and I gotta say - guy deserves it. Mainly because Kubel got hurt, but it still counts. So congrats Cuddy. I hope they trade you.
2. Vance Worley. As you've probably heard, the Philadelphia Phillies have quite the pitching rotation - Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, Cole Hamels, and Roy Oswalt each would be the ace of nearly every other team in the league. So the last thing they need (from an opponent point of view) is a good fifth starter, which means everyone should be looking around a little nervously after Worley's outing against the Red Sox on Wednesday. He threw 7 innings of 5 hit, 1 run ball against the red-hot Sox, which now brings his ERA down to 2.57 on the year. He's still more of a reliever being stretched into a starter, but with Oswalt on the shelf now they'll need him in the rotation full-time. I was going to write something else but honestly does anybody give a crap about this guy right now? Let's just wait for the playoffs and then we'll talk about him if we need to.
3. Nick Watney. He won the AT&T National by 2 shots after going bogey-free over the last 27 holes, shot a 62 on Friday to break the course record at Aronimink, and is on my fantasy team. The perfect trifecta that every golfer shoots for.
4. Aramis Ramirez. I don't know if any single hitter is hotter than Ramirez right now. He homered 4 times this week including a couple ninth-inning jobbers, one of which was off of Giants' closer Brian Wilson to tie the game - the first homer allowed by Wilson all year. He also pinch hit and knocked in the winning run in the bottom of the ninth in a different game against the Giants and has hit .400 with 7 homers in his last 11 games. To be completely honest there's little that bores me as much as the Cubs and the worldwide obsession with them, but sometimes someone just keeps hitting home runs and game winning hits off of people who don't generally give up those kinds of things and then sometimes I take notice. This is one of those times.
5. Bryce Harper. Yes, Brian Harper's kid is proving himself to be a bit of a douche by doing things like blowing kisses to opposing pitchers after he goes yard, but he is also hitting the ever-loving shit out of the ball. After demolishing the pitching in single-A this year to the tune of .318/.423/.554 with 14 homers, 17 doubles, and 15 steals, he just got promoted to double A ball. At the age of 18. He's killed the ball at every stop so far (Instructional League, Arizona Fall League, and now single-A) and there really isn't any reason why he shouldn't continue to do so. So basically a total asshat is going to fly through the minors without any issues and arrive in the big leagues with zero humbless and 100% asshattery. This is going to be spectacular.
WHO SUCKED
1. Matt Capps. I am so sick of Matt Capps and his stupid fat face and his stupid fake Jesse Crain necklace. It was a stupid trade when they made it, especially when you consider how the team's starting catcher is more brittle than the 6-month old skeleton of that dead hooker I have in my closet, and it's an even more stupid trade now that Cappsy completely refuses to get anybody out. Not that it should surprise anyone since the only really remarkable thing about his pitching is his consistent opportunities to get saves for shitty teams. His career ERA, career WHIP, and career mediocre stuff basically scream middle reliever/low-end setup guy, but in 2007 the Pirates didn't have anyone in the bullpen and, after trying Salomon Torres with little success, made Capps their closer and he saved 18 games in mediocre fashion and has been tabbed a closer ever since, which is how we ended up here, with no back-up catcher and a shitty bullpen. Huzzah!
2. Nick Blackburn. Speaking of mediocre as shit pitchers who get far too much credit, welcome back to reality Nick Blackburn. A soft-tossing nancy can actually have a long and lucrative career as long as he's left-handed, but seeing as Blackburn throws correctly he will instead continue to flounder about as a 5th starter, maybe 4th, and although he'll have very good stretches at times (like earlier this year) he'll also always fall back into line as a 4th or 5th starter, tops. Regression to the mean is a very real thing, and also a cruel mistress. And not the good kind. You know what I'm talking about.
3. Joe Mauer. I know what you're thinking - "Dude, the Twins aren't playing all that badly right now, why so many Twins call-outs?" And it's because these three guys have been just brutally bad. I won't get into Mauer's deal too much here because I plan on writing an entire post about it later this week, but let me give you a little spoiler: he sucks.
4. MLB All-Star choices. Way to go morons. And I'm not even talking about your average mouth-breather who shows up to games and votes for Derek Jeter and every other Yankee. I think we've washed our hands of them, yes? Then it's up to the managers to get everything else right. Well not really. Enter poor Andrew McCutchen. Maybe the best hitting/fielding combo outfielder in the NL, but doesn't make it. Why? Because they took Pirate "closer" Joel Hanrahan instead because he has a bunch of saves and is actually having a really good year now that I look it up and he's a totally worthy all-star so I'm kind of losing some wind here. But McCutchen is really awesome and deserves it. Actually the fact that he doesn't make it and Cuddy does should really be enough reason to overhaul the whole thing, but I just got my new KC Royals hat in the mail so what do I care?
5. Kenny Britt. This guy is taking the art of "talented headcase" to a whole new level. Whereas your classic headcases like Randy Moss and Terrell Owens generally don't harm anyone other than themselves (and possibly their teammates), Britt seems to be heading more down the Lawrence Phillips path. Britt surrendered himself to police this weekend because of two warrants for giving false information on a drivers license application, which sounds pretty lame but then you combine that with his three arrests for resisting arrest, including one that ended up in a police chase, and he's going to end up doing something really, really stupid one of these days soon. If you have him in a keeper league I'd unload immediately. Call me.
Lastly, I'm sure you all want to know what was on the menu for 4th of July dinner. Credit goes to Mrs. W on this one - she made a cucumber dill dip (awesome), blue cheese meatballs for the grill (super awesome), and corn on the cob. The first two were just tremendous, and then corn on the cob is always good but kind of boring. Anybody know a good way to fancy it up a bit?
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Mike Cuddyer. It pains me to praise Cuddy. There's so much to hate: inability to understand what a "strike zone" is, inability to realize that he's getting that down and away in the dirt slider every time he has 2 strikes, and constant media whoring to name a few, but sometimes you gotta give credit where it's due: Congrats on making your first all-star time, Cuddy Bear. There's something to be said for a guy who can and will play LF, RF, 2b, 3b, 1b, and SS, especially on a team with a bunch of prima donnas who "don't like to DH" or "refuse to play anywhere except catcher." More importantly though is he almost seems to have a knack for picking up his hitting when the team needs him most. First, back in 2009 when he basically carried the offense on his back after Morneau went down and then currently with all the injuries with him being on fire since May. He's not really an all-star, but they do have to pick one person from every team (Ron Coomer made it once for christ's sake) and I gotta say - guy deserves it. Mainly because Kubel got hurt, but it still counts. So congrats Cuddy. I hope they trade you.
2. Vance Worley. As you've probably heard, the Philadelphia Phillies have quite the pitching rotation - Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, Cole Hamels, and Roy Oswalt each would be the ace of nearly every other team in the league. So the last thing they need (from an opponent point of view) is a good fifth starter, which means everyone should be looking around a little nervously after Worley's outing against the Red Sox on Wednesday. He threw 7 innings of 5 hit, 1 run ball against the red-hot Sox, which now brings his ERA down to 2.57 on the year. He's still more of a reliever being stretched into a starter, but with Oswalt on the shelf now they'll need him in the rotation full-time. I was going to write something else but honestly does anybody give a crap about this guy right now? Let's just wait for the playoffs and then we'll talk about him if we need to.
3. Nick Watney. He won the AT&T National by 2 shots after going bogey-free over the last 27 holes, shot a 62 on Friday to break the course record at Aronimink, and is on my fantasy team. The perfect trifecta that every golfer shoots for.
4. Aramis Ramirez. I don't know if any single hitter is hotter than Ramirez right now. He homered 4 times this week including a couple ninth-inning jobbers, one of which was off of Giants' closer Brian Wilson to tie the game - the first homer allowed by Wilson all year. He also pinch hit and knocked in the winning run in the bottom of the ninth in a different game against the Giants and has hit .400 with 7 homers in his last 11 games. To be completely honest there's little that bores me as much as the Cubs and the worldwide obsession with them, but sometimes someone just keeps hitting home runs and game winning hits off of people who don't generally give up those kinds of things and then sometimes I take notice. This is one of those times.
5. Bryce Harper. Yes, Brian Harper's kid is proving himself to be a bit of a douche by doing things like blowing kisses to opposing pitchers after he goes yard, but he is also hitting the ever-loving shit out of the ball. After demolishing the pitching in single-A this year to the tune of .318/.423/.554 with 14 homers, 17 doubles, and 15 steals, he just got promoted to double A ball. At the age of 18. He's killed the ball at every stop so far (Instructional League, Arizona Fall League, and now single-A) and there really isn't any reason why he shouldn't continue to do so. So basically a total asshat is going to fly through the minors without any issues and arrive in the big leagues with zero humbless and 100% asshattery. This is going to be spectacular.
WHO SUCKED
1. Matt Capps. I am so sick of Matt Capps and his stupid fat face and his stupid fake Jesse Crain necklace. It was a stupid trade when they made it, especially when you consider how the team's starting catcher is more brittle than the 6-month old skeleton of that dead hooker I have in my closet, and it's an even more stupid trade now that Cappsy completely refuses to get anybody out. Not that it should surprise anyone since the only really remarkable thing about his pitching is his consistent opportunities to get saves for shitty teams. His career ERA, career WHIP, and career mediocre stuff basically scream middle reliever/low-end setup guy, but in 2007 the Pirates didn't have anyone in the bullpen and, after trying Salomon Torres with little success, made Capps their closer and he saved 18 games in mediocre fashion and has been tabbed a closer ever since, which is how we ended up here, with no back-up catcher and a shitty bullpen. Huzzah!
2. Nick Blackburn. Speaking of mediocre as shit pitchers who get far too much credit, welcome back to reality Nick Blackburn. A soft-tossing nancy can actually have a long and lucrative career as long as he's left-handed, but seeing as Blackburn throws correctly he will instead continue to flounder about as a 5th starter, maybe 4th, and although he'll have very good stretches at times (like earlier this year) he'll also always fall back into line as a 4th or 5th starter, tops. Regression to the mean is a very real thing, and also a cruel mistress. And not the good kind. You know what I'm talking about.
3. Joe Mauer. I know what you're thinking - "Dude, the Twins aren't playing all that badly right now, why so many Twins call-outs?" And it's because these three guys have been just brutally bad. I won't get into Mauer's deal too much here because I plan on writing an entire post about it later this week, but let me give you a little spoiler: he sucks.
4. MLB All-Star choices. Way to go morons. And I'm not even talking about your average mouth-breather who shows up to games and votes for Derek Jeter and every other Yankee. I think we've washed our hands of them, yes? Then it's up to the managers to get everything else right. Well not really. Enter poor Andrew McCutchen. Maybe the best hitting/fielding combo outfielder in the NL, but doesn't make it. Why? Because they took Pirate "closer" Joel Hanrahan instead because he has a bunch of saves and is actually having a really good year now that I look it up and he's a totally worthy all-star so I'm kind of losing some wind here. But McCutchen is really awesome and deserves it. Actually the fact that he doesn't make it and Cuddy does should really be enough reason to overhaul the whole thing, but I just got my new KC Royals hat in the mail so what do I care?
5. Kenny Britt. This guy is taking the art of "talented headcase" to a whole new level. Whereas your classic headcases like Randy Moss and Terrell Owens generally don't harm anyone other than themselves (and possibly their teammates), Britt seems to be heading more down the Lawrence Phillips path. Britt surrendered himself to police this weekend because of two warrants for giving false information on a drivers license application, which sounds pretty lame but then you combine that with his three arrests for resisting arrest, including one that ended up in a police chase, and he's going to end up doing something really, really stupid one of these days soon. If you have him in a keeper league I'd unload immediately. Call me.
Lastly, I'm sure you all want to know what was on the menu for 4th of July dinner. Credit goes to Mrs. W on this one - she made a cucumber dill dip (awesome), blue cheese meatballs for the grill (super awesome), and corn on the cob. The first two were just tremendous, and then corn on the cob is always good but kind of boring. Anybody know a good way to fancy it up a bit?
Monday, May 2, 2011
How bad are the freaking Twins?
Holy crap you guys, how bad are the Twins? I think we've gone beyond slow start at this point and have officially reached "gunning for the top pick in the lottery" status. I mean, what's been remotely promising so far? They can't hit or pitch, and they're making up for it by running the bases like a bunch of third-graders and fielding like absolute garbage, not to mention everybody who gets hurt needs an ambulance to carry them to the DL for half the season. Twins' baseball used to mean pitchers who threw strikes, fielders who made plays, and just enough offense supplemented by rarely making mistakes on either side of the ball. Now it means getting swept by the Royals.
Granted injuries have left them a bit short handed at times, but it's hard to just chalk up this many hurt players to bad-luck or the training staff - pretty sure it's a big ole contagious case of pussy-itis started by Morneau last year which has now affected half the roster. A week off for the flu? A couple of weeks for sore ribs and the flu, including pulling yourself from the starting lineup because "you can't get loose?" Several months (or more) off because of sore legs? It's baffling, but it fits their candy-soft mentality.
Worse, the players that do play can't hit. Jason Kubel's resurgence closer to his 2009 form after a sub-par 2010 is literally the only positive thing you can say about any position player:
Denard Span seems to have settled into a career role of "completely average lead-off who erases half of the good things he does by being really really fucking stupid running the bases." The problem is who could take over for him? Nobody on this team can handle center field (including Span), and the most likely candidates on the current roster are Jason Repko, a career back-up, and Rene Tosoni, who looks like a smaller, and possibly dumber, Lew Ford. I'm afraid we're stuck with Span until Revere is ready (and I wouldn't mind Denard in LF).
The middle infield is a complete mess, with someone too slow to play first playing at second and two subpar defensive second basemen alternating at shortstop. At least Cuddy can occasionally mash one - neither Tolbert or Casilla is anywhere near a major league quality hitter. (as mentioned here, combined they are the third-worst hitting middle infield since 1980). To make it even worse, Casilla might be the worst fielding shortstop in the league (and gives Span some competition for dumbest player), and the only the reason it isn't clearly him is because Tolbert gives him a run for his money.
The corner infielders should be ok, but Morneau can't seem to figure this whole "baseball" thing out. His power is basically completely gone along with both his patience and his aggressiveness, which sounds like it doesn't make sense but it does. Not only is he swinging at too many pitches (decreased patience) he's also swinging more like a slap-hitter and making contact more often, but poor contact (decreased aggressiveness). Basically he's a complete mess out there, and his drop of Tolbert's throw in that disastrous eight inning against the Royals over the weekend was one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen. I'm not worried about Valencia, at least. His numbers aren't great but if you did into the nerd stats (I'll spare you) he looks like he's just been unlucky and should be ok.
Catcher, geez, where to begin. Either Butera or Holm would make a fine back-up. Lots of teams carry a very good defensive catcher who can't really hit so no big deal. But when you hamstring yourself so severely by trading your two major-league ready back-ups in Jose Morales and Wilson Ramos, this is the situation you create when your dandy of a starter gets hurt for the one hundredth time. I get they thought they needed Capps and had to give Ramos to get him, but why then trade Morales? Mauer is a huge injury risk and they know this, so why guarantee having a guy back there who can't outhit most pitchers? Just a stupid, short-sighted move. Probably the most irritating thing of the entire season.
I don't even know where to being with the pitching. Basically all the starters have decided to stop throwing strikes because when they do throw strikes they're just getting crushed all over the yard. The only two starters with numbers that don't look like they should be an auto-trip to Rochester or the waiver wire are Duensing and Baker, and nerd stats tell us that Duensing is the only one who can remotely even hope to have keep it up.
We all know Blackburn sucks, and Pavano is Pavano and will giveth and taketh away, but this regression by Liriano from promising to disaster could very well be the logo for this season. He's been absolutely dreadful, and he's taken his always maddening approach of nibbling around the corners of the plate to a whole new level. Unfortunately for him, however, the scouting report is out and nobody's chasing. He's tripled his walks from last year, and with him being behind in basically every count to every batter they're pulverizing the ball when he finally puts it in the strike zone. He's already a third of the way to last year's walk total and half way to last year's home run total, all while allowing nearly two baserunners per inning. And sadly, there's no reason at all to think this is going to get better.
Then, if by some miracle, a starter does put together a nice outing there's nobody in the bullpen who bothers getting people out other than Glen Perkins, and if you believe he's suddenly become a good pitcher then go ahead and email me your home address so I can drive over and hit you in the face with a hammer. Joe Nathan is obviously broken, Jose Mijares has seemingly completely lost sight of the strike zone, and the rest of the guys (Hoey, Hughes, Burnett, Manship) are exactly as advertised - terrible and probably don't belong on a big-league roster. Hughes is particularly troubling because he sucked with the Royals yet the Twins jettisoned the promising Rob Delaney to make room for him, and he's suck even worse since joining the team.
That leaves Matt Capps, a competent closer, but the kind of player people who overrate the save stat love and people who love nerd stats underrate a bit. He's serviceable and can get outs but is always a candidate to get completely throttled because his stuff is underwhelming and if he isn't razor sharp with location he's very hittable. All that means he is a thoroughly mediocre bullpen arm, which also he means he's very clearly the Twins' top reliever.
Where does that all leave the team? A terrible hitting team that ranks last in the AL in runs scored, batting average, slugging percentage, and OPS (and second to last in OBP). A terrible pitching team that ranks dead last in the AL in ERA, opponents' batting average, and strikeouts. A terrible fielding team with a corner outfielder playing second, a couple of poor second basemen playing shortstop, a left fielder in center, and DHs playing corner outfield. A team with the worst run differential in baseball (outscored by 64 runs this year - more than 2 per game) and the worst record in the game.
Maybe things will turn around when (if) everyone gets back from injury. Maybe those who are struggling will get it figured out. I don't know. What I do know is that no team in history has every made the playoffs after a start this poor. I also know that I totally made that up because I don't actually know where to find that information, but it sounds like it's probably correct, doesn't it?
Seriously, this sucks. I don't know how to handle a summer without meaningful Twins baseball. I may just need to adopt a new team. I think I'm a Royal fan. They at least have hope for the future.
Granted injuries have left them a bit short handed at times, but it's hard to just chalk up this many hurt players to bad-luck or the training staff - pretty sure it's a big ole contagious case of pussy-itis started by Morneau last year which has now affected half the roster. A week off for the flu? A couple of weeks for sore ribs and the flu, including pulling yourself from the starting lineup because "you can't get loose?" Several months (or more) off because of sore legs? It's baffling, but it fits their candy-soft mentality.
Worse, the players that do play can't hit. Jason Kubel's resurgence closer to his 2009 form after a sub-par 2010 is literally the only positive thing you can say about any position player:
Denard Span seems to have settled into a career role of "completely average lead-off who erases half of the good things he does by being really really fucking stupid running the bases." The problem is who could take over for him? Nobody on this team can handle center field (including Span), and the most likely candidates on the current roster are Jason Repko, a career back-up, and Rene Tosoni, who looks like a smaller, and possibly dumber, Lew Ford. I'm afraid we're stuck with Span until Revere is ready (and I wouldn't mind Denard in LF).
The middle infield is a complete mess, with someone too slow to play first playing at second and two subpar defensive second basemen alternating at shortstop. At least Cuddy can occasionally mash one - neither Tolbert or Casilla is anywhere near a major league quality hitter. (as mentioned here, combined they are the third-worst hitting middle infield since 1980). To make it even worse, Casilla might be the worst fielding shortstop in the league (and gives Span some competition for dumbest player), and the only the reason it isn't clearly him is because Tolbert gives him a run for his money.
The corner infielders should be ok, but Morneau can't seem to figure this whole "baseball" thing out. His power is basically completely gone along with both his patience and his aggressiveness, which sounds like it doesn't make sense but it does. Not only is he swinging at too many pitches (decreased patience) he's also swinging more like a slap-hitter and making contact more often, but poor contact (decreased aggressiveness). Basically he's a complete mess out there, and his drop of Tolbert's throw in that disastrous eight inning against the Royals over the weekend was one of the most bizarre things I've ever seen. I'm not worried about Valencia, at least. His numbers aren't great but if you did into the nerd stats (I'll spare you) he looks like he's just been unlucky and should be ok.
Catcher, geez, where to begin. Either Butera or Holm would make a fine back-up. Lots of teams carry a very good defensive catcher who can't really hit so no big deal. But when you hamstring yourself so severely by trading your two major-league ready back-ups in Jose Morales and Wilson Ramos, this is the situation you create when your dandy of a starter gets hurt for the one hundredth time. I get they thought they needed Capps and had to give Ramos to get him, but why then trade Morales? Mauer is a huge injury risk and they know this, so why guarantee having a guy back there who can't outhit most pitchers? Just a stupid, short-sighted move. Probably the most irritating thing of the entire season.
I don't even know where to being with the pitching. Basically all the starters have decided to stop throwing strikes because when they do throw strikes they're just getting crushed all over the yard. The only two starters with numbers that don't look like they should be an auto-trip to Rochester or the waiver wire are Duensing and Baker, and nerd stats tell us that Duensing is the only one who can remotely even hope to have keep it up.
We all know Blackburn sucks, and Pavano is Pavano and will giveth and taketh away, but this regression by Liriano from promising to disaster could very well be the logo for this season. He's been absolutely dreadful, and he's taken his always maddening approach of nibbling around the corners of the plate to a whole new level. Unfortunately for him, however, the scouting report is out and nobody's chasing. He's tripled his walks from last year, and with him being behind in basically every count to every batter they're pulverizing the ball when he finally puts it in the strike zone. He's already a third of the way to last year's walk total and half way to last year's home run total, all while allowing nearly two baserunners per inning. And sadly, there's no reason at all to think this is going to get better.
Then, if by some miracle, a starter does put together a nice outing there's nobody in the bullpen who bothers getting people out other than Glen Perkins, and if you believe he's suddenly become a good pitcher then go ahead and email me your home address so I can drive over and hit you in the face with a hammer. Joe Nathan is obviously broken, Jose Mijares has seemingly completely lost sight of the strike zone, and the rest of the guys (Hoey, Hughes, Burnett, Manship) are exactly as advertised - terrible and probably don't belong on a big-league roster. Hughes is particularly troubling because he sucked with the Royals yet the Twins jettisoned the promising Rob Delaney to make room for him, and he's suck even worse since joining the team.
That leaves Matt Capps, a competent closer, but the kind of player people who overrate the save stat love and people who love nerd stats underrate a bit. He's serviceable and can get outs but is always a candidate to get completely throttled because his stuff is underwhelming and if he isn't razor sharp with location he's very hittable. All that means he is a thoroughly mediocre bullpen arm, which also he means he's very clearly the Twins' top reliever.
Where does that all leave the team? A terrible hitting team that ranks last in the AL in runs scored, batting average, slugging percentage, and OPS (and second to last in OBP). A terrible pitching team that ranks dead last in the AL in ERA, opponents' batting average, and strikeouts. A terrible fielding team with a corner outfielder playing second, a couple of poor second basemen playing shortstop, a left fielder in center, and DHs playing corner outfield. A team with the worst run differential in baseball (outscored by 64 runs this year - more than 2 per game) and the worst record in the game.
Maybe things will turn around when (if) everyone gets back from injury. Maybe those who are struggling will get it figured out. I don't know. What I do know is that no team in history has every made the playoffs after a start this poor. I also know that I totally made that up because I don't actually know where to find that information, but it sounds like it's probably correct, doesn't it?
Seriously, this sucks. I don't know how to handle a summer without meaningful Twins baseball. I may just need to adopt a new team. I think I'm a Royal fan. They at least have hope for the future.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
6 Very Important Things from Last Night
Remember last year there was that very exciting 2-week or so period where I was writing daily posts so you worker drones would have something to do while you drink your coffee at your desk every morning? And then my stupid second baby was born and that all went right out the window? Well, I'm bringing it back. Daily posts, either regular type posts or, if I don't have anything I'm thinking about writing about, I'll do it in this "6 things" list format. Starting today and going until I get bored or lazy.
1. Drew Butera is my hero. Mauer schmauer, who needs 'em? The Twinks won their second straight, beating the Orioles 5-3 last night and giving Francisco Liriano his first win of the season. Matt Capps tried to blow the game in the ninth by giving up a crushed home run to Luke Scott, but it turns out when you're up by three no matter how long of a home run you give up it's still only worth one point.
The real story of the game, however, was "no hit" Butera who went 2-4 with a career high three RBI, two coming on a big double in the second to give the Twins the lead, and the last one coming in the ninth, helping to give the Twins in a little insurance, something they will always need since they have the world's worst bullpen. So a multi-hit game with three RBI, clutch hits, zero stolen bases by Baltimore probably because they were too afraid to run on his cannon arm, and such an outstanding ability to all a game that he made Francisco Liriano, Jose Mijares, and Jim Hoey all good, and Matt Capps only allowed one run which I assume is a season best? I think this might be the Joe Mauer we always wanted, and without all the little baby injuries and "viruses." With the DH spot already locked up I think it's time we start exploring trading him before it's too late. I'll have to have a post later this week looking at what the Twins might be able to get for Mauer. Stay tuned.
2. Harrison Barnes is coming back. Yep, Barnes, a consensus top-3 pick in the NBA draft, will be returning to North Carolina for his sophomore hoops season. The effect of this is two-fold. First, with John Henson and Tyler Zeller also staying in school plus the additions of James McAdoo (Rivals #8 overall player nationally and a guy who is just going to be ridiculous), P.J. Hairston (#14 nationally), and Desmond Hubert(#15 Center), the Tar Heels are going to be the prohibitive favorite to win the National Title (although if Kendall Marshall gets hurt it's over for them - he's the single most important player in college basketball next year). The second, and more Minnesota-centric, effect is that this year's NBA draft is going to completely suck. With Barnes, Baylor's Perry Jones, and Ohio State's Jared Sullinger all staying in school the only real blue-chippers are Arizona's Derrick Williams and Duke's Kyrie Irving. We've all been here before. Pencil the Wolves in for the third pick. And of course with next year shaping up to be one of the deepest and best classes in recent memory the Wolves have already traded their pick. Oof.
3. This guy who was almost a Twin can really hit the ball. And he's a shortstop. You may remember the name Jed Lowrie, because he was part of the package the Red Sox offered the Twins for Johan Santana way back when. The full offer was Lowrie, Jon freaking Lester, Justin Masterson, and Coco Crisp. Lowrie is currently hitting .516 with 2 home runs after going 4-5 with a dinger today in the Red Sox 9-0 thumping of Toronto, and would be leading the league in average with just a few more plate appearances (not to mention he'd be tied for the team lead in homers if he was a Twin) and is starting to look like a potential franchise type shortstop.
Which means that with a different decision, Johan could have netted the Twins a possible franchise shortstop, a #1/#2 type starter, a potential #3/#4 type starter (depending on your opinion of Masterson), and another outfielder who could have been a trade chip, made someone else a trade chip, or at a minimum might have stopped the Twins from picking up Cuddy Bear's option which pays him $11 fucking million this year to hit singles. Instead, they ended up netting out with two crappy relievers the Orioles didn't want (yes Hoey looked ok last night) and a pitching prospect who lost velocity and can't get out of double-A. I know hindsight is 20/20, and I know that according to prospect rankings the trade with the Mets looked about on par with the Sox trade, but god damn it does it rankle me every time I see Lowrie or Lester do well. Imagine how much better this team would be if that was the trade they made. I'm going to go light something on fire.
4. Use up that $2.27 million signing bonus already? In what can only be described as "totally fucking bizarre", Cincinnati Reds second year pitcher Mike Leake was arrested for stealing $60 worth of shirts from Macy's. I totally don't get it because first of all Leake's signing bonus a year and a half ago was $2.27 million. Second, he is making $425 million this year. Third, he stole six shirts whose total cost was $59.98, or under 10 bucks a piece. Fourth, the guy is a total stud and is soon, within the next couple few years, going to end up signing a nice big contract. Fifth, what the fuck? And finally, these are apparently the brand of shirts he was stealing. What the hell? You're telling me you can't just go down to ragstock or the salvation army and get the same thing for like a buck a piece?
Only two possible explanations here. First, Leake must be a huge pothead and was just confused. like Smokey after he ate too much corn. If I may be allowed to generalize and stereotype, Leake has surfer hair and went to Arizona State, so I'll assume he's not unfamiliar with the herb. Plus he went straight to the pros from the minors so he hasn't really had any time to "grow-up" or "be poor", if you will. The second possibility is that Macy's is somehow infested with a demon that causes athletes to steal even when it's the dumbest thing they could possibly do. Is it possible that Royce White was really innocent and it was just some evil force that made him try to steal those pants and push that old man? Maybe Fred Hoiberg is a secret Choctaw shaman who was able to recognize that Royce was good at heart and was just possessed, cast out the demon, and is now ready to reap the rewards of an All-American season. Stupid Baptist Tubby. I bet if they had hired Archambeau he'd be all over this.
5. Look out, world. Here comes Pricey. Tampa's David Price burst onto the scene in the 2008 playoffs, had a decent rookie year, then last year finished second in the Cy Young balloting, so his slow start this year was a bit puzzling. Well you can stop worrying so much, because he completely shut down the Sox last night, going 8 shut-out innings, allowing just four hits and striking out nine. That's the Price I'm talkin' about. Plus he did it to the White Sox, the most evil team in the history of evil, even worse than the Nazis or Packers. Does this make David Price some kind of Angel or maybe God? But in November of 2007 the owner dude changed the team name from Devil Rays to Rays, just three short months after they drafted and signed Price. Coincidence? You tell me, Robert Stack. You tell me.
6. The Pacers almost did it again. For the second straight game the Pacers looked like they might be in position to steal a win in Chicago, and for the second straight game Derrick Rose said "No soup for you." Seriously, this guy is ridiculous and completely unguardable. When it gets down to it in the fourth Chicago justs shifts into the "give Rose the ball and everybody get out of the way" offense and he gets to the rim and either finishes, gets fouled, or finds an open teammate - and nobody on the Pacers can keep him out of the lane. Last night he scored 14 of his 36 in the fourth quarter, similar to Game 1 when he scored 9 of his 37 in the quarter and came up with the game's biggest play on an assist to Kyle Korver for a three to give the Bulls the lead. Completely ridiculous. This is just like watching me play at the Y - completely unstoppable.
1. Drew Butera is my hero. Mauer schmauer, who needs 'em? The Twinks won their second straight, beating the Orioles 5-3 last night and giving Francisco Liriano his first win of the season. Matt Capps tried to blow the game in the ninth by giving up a crushed home run to Luke Scott, but it turns out when you're up by three no matter how long of a home run you give up it's still only worth one point.
The real story of the game, however, was "no hit" Butera who went 2-4 with a career high three RBI, two coming on a big double in the second to give the Twins the lead, and the last one coming in the ninth, helping to give the Twins in a little insurance, something they will always need since they have the world's worst bullpen. So a multi-hit game with three RBI, clutch hits, zero stolen bases by Baltimore probably because they were too afraid to run on his cannon arm, and such an outstanding ability to all a game that he made Francisco Liriano, Jose Mijares, and Jim Hoey all good, and Matt Capps only allowed one run which I assume is a season best? I think this might be the Joe Mauer we always wanted, and without all the little baby injuries and "viruses." With the DH spot already locked up I think it's time we start exploring trading him before it's too late. I'll have to have a post later this week looking at what the Twins might be able to get for Mauer. Stay tuned.
2. Harrison Barnes is coming back. Yep, Barnes, a consensus top-3 pick in the NBA draft, will be returning to North Carolina for his sophomore hoops season. The effect of this is two-fold. First, with John Henson and Tyler Zeller also staying in school plus the additions of James McAdoo (Rivals #8 overall player nationally and a guy who is just going to be ridiculous), P.J. Hairston (#14 nationally), and Desmond Hubert(#15 Center), the Tar Heels are going to be the prohibitive favorite to win the National Title (although if Kendall Marshall gets hurt it's over for them - he's the single most important player in college basketball next year). The second, and more Minnesota-centric, effect is that this year's NBA draft is going to completely suck. With Barnes, Baylor's Perry Jones, and Ohio State's Jared Sullinger all staying in school the only real blue-chippers are Arizona's Derrick Williams and Duke's Kyrie Irving. We've all been here before. Pencil the Wolves in for the third pick. And of course with next year shaping up to be one of the deepest and best classes in recent memory the Wolves have already traded their pick. Oof.
3. This guy who was almost a Twin can really hit the ball. And he's a shortstop. You may remember the name Jed Lowrie, because he was part of the package the Red Sox offered the Twins for Johan Santana way back when. The full offer was Lowrie, Jon freaking Lester, Justin Masterson, and Coco Crisp. Lowrie is currently hitting .516 with 2 home runs after going 4-5 with a dinger today in the Red Sox 9-0 thumping of Toronto, and would be leading the league in average with just a few more plate appearances (not to mention he'd be tied for the team lead in homers if he was a Twin) and is starting to look like a potential franchise type shortstop.
Which means that with a different decision, Johan could have netted the Twins a possible franchise shortstop, a #1/#2 type starter, a potential #3/#4 type starter (depending on your opinion of Masterson), and another outfielder who could have been a trade chip, made someone else a trade chip, or at a minimum might have stopped the Twins from picking up Cuddy Bear's option which pays him $11 fucking million this year to hit singles. Instead, they ended up netting out with two crappy relievers the Orioles didn't want (yes Hoey looked ok last night) and a pitching prospect who lost velocity and can't get out of double-A. I know hindsight is 20/20, and I know that according to prospect rankings the trade with the Mets looked about on par with the Sox trade, but god damn it does it rankle me every time I see Lowrie or Lester do well. Imagine how much better this team would be if that was the trade they made. I'm going to go light something on fire.
4. Use up that $2.27 million signing bonus already? In what can only be described as "totally fucking bizarre", Cincinnati Reds second year pitcher Mike Leake was arrested for stealing $60 worth of shirts from Macy's. I totally don't get it because first of all Leake's signing bonus a year and a half ago was $2.27 million. Second, he is making $425 million this year. Third, he stole six shirts whose total cost was $59.98, or under 10 bucks a piece. Fourth, the guy is a total stud and is soon, within the next couple few years, going to end up signing a nice big contract. Fifth, what the fuck? And finally, these are apparently the brand of shirts he was stealing. What the hell? You're telling me you can't just go down to ragstock or the salvation army and get the same thing for like a buck a piece?
Only two possible explanations here. First, Leake must be a huge pothead and was just confused. like Smokey after he ate too much corn. If I may be allowed to generalize and stereotype, Leake has surfer hair and went to Arizona State, so I'll assume he's not unfamiliar with the herb. Plus he went straight to the pros from the minors so he hasn't really had any time to "grow-up" or "be poor", if you will. The second possibility is that Macy's is somehow infested with a demon that causes athletes to steal even when it's the dumbest thing they could possibly do. Is it possible that Royce White was really innocent and it was just some evil force that made him try to steal those pants and push that old man? Maybe Fred Hoiberg is a secret Choctaw shaman who was able to recognize that Royce was good at heart and was just possessed, cast out the demon, and is now ready to reap the rewards of an All-American season. Stupid Baptist Tubby. I bet if they had hired Archambeau he'd be all over this.
5. Look out, world. Here comes Pricey. Tampa's David Price burst onto the scene in the 2008 playoffs, had a decent rookie year, then last year finished second in the Cy Young balloting, so his slow start this year was a bit puzzling. Well you can stop worrying so much, because he completely shut down the Sox last night, going 8 shut-out innings, allowing just four hits and striking out nine. That's the Price I'm talkin' about. Plus he did it to the White Sox, the most evil team in the history of evil, even worse than the Nazis or Packers. Does this make David Price some kind of Angel or maybe God? But in November of 2007 the owner dude changed the team name from Devil Rays to Rays, just three short months after they drafted and signed Price. Coincidence? You tell me, Robert Stack. You tell me.
6. The Pacers almost did it again. For the second straight game the Pacers looked like they might be in position to steal a win in Chicago, and for the second straight game Derrick Rose said "No soup for you." Seriously, this guy is ridiculous and completely unguardable. When it gets down to it in the fourth Chicago justs shifts into the "give Rose the ball and everybody get out of the way" offense and he gets to the rim and either finishes, gets fouled, or finds an open teammate - and nobody on the Pacers can keep him out of the lane. Last night he scored 14 of his 36 in the fourth quarter, similar to Game 1 when he scored 9 of his 37 in the quarter and came up with the game's biggest play on an assist to Kyle Korver for a three to give the Bulls the lead. Completely ridiculous. This is just like watching me play at the Y - completely unstoppable.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Who sucks, why, and what can we expect? (hitters edition)
There's a lot of things wrong with the Twins' offense so far, clearly, and since I'm prone to overreaction I'm basically in full on panic mode. Ok, not really. But the Twins have definitely sucked. Perhaps we should look into this.
Let me warn you right here: if you think discussions about swing rates and ground ball ratios are boring you should just check out now because we're going to dig into this on a player-by-player basis. If K-rate, chase percentage, and BABIP are things you either don't understand, are scared of, or just plain hate you should leave at just go look at boobies. Now for the rest of you poindexters who stuck around, let's get out our abaci and our protractors and hunker down in mom's basement and see what we see. All stats as of April 12, pre-game time. All nerd stats from fangraphs.
Joe Mauer (.233/.303/.267) - No real secret here, but his numbers are low because his Batting Average on Balls in Play (BABIP) is low, but that's because he's hitting almost exclusively ground balls so far this year. His 80% ground ball rate is the highest in all of baseball, while his 4.0% line drive rate puts him at 209th out of 213 players who qualify for the batting title.
His swing rates, contact rates, and walk rates are generally around his career averages so it doesn't appear anything has changed as far as his approach, which is good, but there is one interesting anomaly. Of the pitches thrown to him so far this year, 14.8% of them have been curveballs which is almost double what he's seen in his career, and that's the pitch he has the most trouble with according to the numbers (other than a cutter which you don't see as often). Could just be a weird blip due to early season pitching match-ups, but could be the league has identified something. It's probably meaningless, but it's worth watching.
Justin Morneau (.258/.303/.355) - Interesting to note that he's not hitting with power (his current ISO - which measures power without regard to batting average - would be bar far the lowest of his career) and he's also not striking out at all - just once this year with one of the lowest K% in the entire league. He's also not walking at anywhere near his usual pace. This can be traced to the fact that he's making contact nearly every time he swings the bat - currently at 87.5% contact rate, a career high and 10% higher than his career average.
The real issue, though, is how often he's making contact when he chases - 85.0%, up from 68.1% last year. He's seeing fewer pitches in the zone, and although he is chasing less than last year when he does chase he's making contact far more often, and unless you're Kirby Puckett, Yogi Berra, or Vlad Guerrero it's much harder to make solid contact when you're going after a bad pitch. I haven't noticed if he's taking weaker swings at bad pitches simply to make contact, but it's something I'll be watching. I suspect he just needs to get back to unleashing on every swing - his misses will go up, but so will his power and his walks. That's what the Twins need. Assuming his brain is working ok and will allow that to happen.
Delmon Young (.188/.212/.219) - Similar to Mauer he's not getting any hits because he's not hitting any line drives, just 8.0% so far. Dissimilar to Mauer his balls in play aren't limited to grounders because he's hitting both fly balls and ground balls, but none of the GBs are getting through and none of the FBs are going anywhere, thus the lack of both hits and power. Despite his swing and contact rates remaining relatively similar to last year he's actually striking out more and walking less, which I didn't think was possible. Of note is that out of every five pitches Young sees only two of them are in the strike zone. Pitchers know he'll chase so they aren't giving him anything to hit. If his approach doesn't change it's going to be a tough year.
Denard Span (.286/.342/.400) - maybe the only player on the entire roster who hasn't been an offensive disappointment. Worth noting is that is walk rate is just 7.9%, down from last year which was down from the year prior and down from the year prior. Bizarrely, as the years have gone by he seems to be seeing more pitches in the strike zone, but swinging at fewer strikes and more balls with his swing % at balls outside the zone at a career high. His numbers have the potential to get even better if he can recapture some of his plate patience he showed earlier in his career because the balls he does hit he's hitting much better and much harder. Perhaps that's what he needs to break through the "slightly above average lead-off hitter" he's been for his career. Also needed: less getting picked off.
Danny Valencia (.194/.265/.290) - Nothing in Valencia's numbers suggests any kind of regression from last year. His swing and contact rates are similar and if anything he's showing improved plate patience. His line drive, ground ball, and fly ball rates are also all right where you'd expect. The only big difference is a huge drop in BABIP from .345 last year to .200 this year. While .345 means he was a little bit lucky last year, the .200 (with the rest of the numbers basically the same) means he's been tremendously unlucky this year. No worries about Valencia, he's going to be fine.
Jason Kubel (.300/.323/.367) - The .300 average looks nice but there are some pretty big red flags here. First, his BABIP is .391 even though his line drive rate is currently at a career low mark of 17.4% - that's a whole lot of luck coming into play. Second, the complete lack of power is disturbing, as are the zero walks.
Two things Kubel has always been able to bring to the table, even when struggling, are his power and his plate patience and now they're both gone? His double tonight is just his third this year and he's still looking for that first home run. Based on his career averages he should have triple the XBH by now. And the walks? He's been solidly right at a 10% or so walk rate his whole career, and now nothing? He's being extra aggressive for some reason this year with rises in his swing rates at both balls in the zone and out of it and it's translating into no walks. I don't know why he's suddenly trying to become Delmon Young, but this shit better stop or I'm burning my Kubel shirt. Don't change who you are when it's (at least sort of) working.
Mike Cuddyer (.107/.194/.107) - He's 3-3 tonight with three singles so that will help the average number at least. That's not all that concerning because with a BABIP of just .136 you know his average is going to come up significantly, but I'm not so sure what's going on with the slap hitting nancy routine. His contact rates are mostly similar, so it's not that he's changed his approach, but for some reason he's swinging about 7% less on balls in the strike zone, and making contact about 2% less that usual. It's almost as if while Kubel is getting more aggressive and getting away from his strength, Cuddyer is trying to be more patient which goes away from his.
Similar to Mauer, he's seen a huge increase in curve balls so far this year (from 8.2% career average to 16.2% this year) which leads me to believe this whole curve ball thing is nothing more than statistical noise due to seeing a higher percentage than average of curve ball pitchers so far, but it's worth noting that, again similar to Mauer, Cuddy always struggles against curves, so maybe things turn around when pitch mixes return to more standard levels.
The one impressive thing about his season is no matter how shitty it is, Cuddy has managed to keep his streak of being quoted in every single Twins article ever since he arrived in the big leagues intact. Seriously, every article. Guy's a bigger media whore than Chuck Sheen.
Jim Thome (.167/.250/.444) - It doesn't really matter to me what the numbers would say about Thome, I'm not going to worry about him unless I start seeing signs of aging, like not being able to catch up to a fastball or not being able to sustain an erection. At this point his 9.1% line drive rate and 63.5% fly ball rate are both really awful numbers and are leading to his piss poor BABIP of .200. He's not punishing fast balls the way he usually does, but really right now he's not punishing anything (except that pitch from poor Jerry Blevins) so we really don't have enough data. Kept a sharp eye on which pitches Thome is hitting hard to know what to expect the rest of the year, like the 80 mph change he just hit off Tim Collins for a single, that's the kind of pitch an old man who can't catch up to a fastball will crush. Not saying that's him, but it's something to watch.
Alexi Casilla (.167/.211/.278) - His BABIP is just .200, which would make you think his performance is bound to get better just due to luck, but he doesn't walk (ever), he has no power (ever), and, get ready for this one.....he hasn't hit a single line drive all year. Basically all he does is bound the ball into the ground and hope to god he finds a hole (not dissimilar to Chuck Sheen) or hits the ball so shittily he can use his alleged speed to get on base. I guess. I don't know. I don't even get this guy. I think I'd rather have Punto back. Or Denny Hocking. Or Jeff Reboulet. At least he had a mustache. I'm tired and drunk.
And that's the end. I think what we can really take out of this is that this team sucks. Or, this team has seen a lot of curveballs and they can't hit them. Of the starters they've faced Ivan Nova, A.J. Burnett, Gio Gonzalez, Brett Anderson, and Brandon McCarthy are all big curve guys, with Burnett, Gonzalez, and McCarthy among the league leaders in % of pitches thrown that are curves. I'm not sure what that means. Probably something.
Let me warn you right here: if you think discussions about swing rates and ground ball ratios are boring you should just check out now because we're going to dig into this on a player-by-player basis. If K-rate, chase percentage, and BABIP are things you either don't understand, are scared of, or just plain hate you should leave at just go look at boobies. Now for the rest of you poindexters who stuck around, let's get out our abaci and our protractors and hunker down in mom's basement and see what we see. All stats as of April 12, pre-game time. All nerd stats from fangraphs.
Joe Mauer (.233/.303/.267) - No real secret here, but his numbers are low because his Batting Average on Balls in Play (BABIP) is low, but that's because he's hitting almost exclusively ground balls so far this year. His 80% ground ball rate is the highest in all of baseball, while his 4.0% line drive rate puts him at 209th out of 213 players who qualify for the batting title.
His swing rates, contact rates, and walk rates are generally around his career averages so it doesn't appear anything has changed as far as his approach, which is good, but there is one interesting anomaly. Of the pitches thrown to him so far this year, 14.8% of them have been curveballs which is almost double what he's seen in his career, and that's the pitch he has the most trouble with according to the numbers (other than a cutter which you don't see as often). Could just be a weird blip due to early season pitching match-ups, but could be the league has identified something. It's probably meaningless, but it's worth watching.
Justin Morneau (.258/.303/.355) - Interesting to note that he's not hitting with power (his current ISO - which measures power without regard to batting average - would be bar far the lowest of his career) and he's also not striking out at all - just once this year with one of the lowest K% in the entire league. He's also not walking at anywhere near his usual pace. This can be traced to the fact that he's making contact nearly every time he swings the bat - currently at 87.5% contact rate, a career high and 10% higher than his career average.
The real issue, though, is how often he's making contact when he chases - 85.0%, up from 68.1% last year. He's seeing fewer pitches in the zone, and although he is chasing less than last year when he does chase he's making contact far more often, and unless you're Kirby Puckett, Yogi Berra, or Vlad Guerrero it's much harder to make solid contact when you're going after a bad pitch. I haven't noticed if he's taking weaker swings at bad pitches simply to make contact, but it's something I'll be watching. I suspect he just needs to get back to unleashing on every swing - his misses will go up, but so will his power and his walks. That's what the Twins need. Assuming his brain is working ok and will allow that to happen.
Delmon Young (.188/.212/.219) - Similar to Mauer he's not getting any hits because he's not hitting any line drives, just 8.0% so far. Dissimilar to Mauer his balls in play aren't limited to grounders because he's hitting both fly balls and ground balls, but none of the GBs are getting through and none of the FBs are going anywhere, thus the lack of both hits and power. Despite his swing and contact rates remaining relatively similar to last year he's actually striking out more and walking less, which I didn't think was possible. Of note is that out of every five pitches Young sees only two of them are in the strike zone. Pitchers know he'll chase so they aren't giving him anything to hit. If his approach doesn't change it's going to be a tough year.
Denard Span (.286/.342/.400) - maybe the only player on the entire roster who hasn't been an offensive disappointment. Worth noting is that is walk rate is just 7.9%, down from last year which was down from the year prior and down from the year prior. Bizarrely, as the years have gone by he seems to be seeing more pitches in the strike zone, but swinging at fewer strikes and more balls with his swing % at balls outside the zone at a career high. His numbers have the potential to get even better if he can recapture some of his plate patience he showed earlier in his career because the balls he does hit he's hitting much better and much harder. Perhaps that's what he needs to break through the "slightly above average lead-off hitter" he's been for his career. Also needed: less getting picked off.
Danny Valencia (.194/.265/.290) - Nothing in Valencia's numbers suggests any kind of regression from last year. His swing and contact rates are similar and if anything he's showing improved plate patience. His line drive, ground ball, and fly ball rates are also all right where you'd expect. The only big difference is a huge drop in BABIP from .345 last year to .200 this year. While .345 means he was a little bit lucky last year, the .200 (with the rest of the numbers basically the same) means he's been tremendously unlucky this year. No worries about Valencia, he's going to be fine.
Jason Kubel (.300/.323/.367) - The .300 average looks nice but there are some pretty big red flags here. First, his BABIP is .391 even though his line drive rate is currently at a career low mark of 17.4% - that's a whole lot of luck coming into play. Second, the complete lack of power is disturbing, as are the zero walks.
Two things Kubel has always been able to bring to the table, even when struggling, are his power and his plate patience and now they're both gone? His double tonight is just his third this year and he's still looking for that first home run. Based on his career averages he should have triple the XBH by now. And the walks? He's been solidly right at a 10% or so walk rate his whole career, and now nothing? He's being extra aggressive for some reason this year with rises in his swing rates at both balls in the zone and out of it and it's translating into no walks. I don't know why he's suddenly trying to become Delmon Young, but this shit better stop or I'm burning my Kubel shirt. Don't change who you are when it's (at least sort of) working.
Mike Cuddyer (.107/.194/.107) - He's 3-3 tonight with three singles so that will help the average number at least. That's not all that concerning because with a BABIP of just .136 you know his average is going to come up significantly, but I'm not so sure what's going on with the slap hitting nancy routine. His contact rates are mostly similar, so it's not that he's changed his approach, but for some reason he's swinging about 7% less on balls in the strike zone, and making contact about 2% less that usual. It's almost as if while Kubel is getting more aggressive and getting away from his strength, Cuddyer is trying to be more patient which goes away from his.
Similar to Mauer, he's seen a huge increase in curve balls so far this year (from 8.2% career average to 16.2% this year) which leads me to believe this whole curve ball thing is nothing more than statistical noise due to seeing a higher percentage than average of curve ball pitchers so far, but it's worth noting that, again similar to Mauer, Cuddy always struggles against curves, so maybe things turn around when pitch mixes return to more standard levels.
The one impressive thing about his season is no matter how shitty it is, Cuddy has managed to keep his streak of being quoted in every single Twins article ever since he arrived in the big leagues intact. Seriously, every article. Guy's a bigger media whore than Chuck Sheen.
Jim Thome (.167/.250/.444) - It doesn't really matter to me what the numbers would say about Thome, I'm not going to worry about him unless I start seeing signs of aging, like not being able to catch up to a fastball or not being able to sustain an erection. At this point his 9.1% line drive rate and 63.5% fly ball rate are both really awful numbers and are leading to his piss poor BABIP of .200. He's not punishing fast balls the way he usually does, but really right now he's not punishing anything (except that pitch from poor Jerry Blevins) so we really don't have enough data. Kept a sharp eye on which pitches Thome is hitting hard to know what to expect the rest of the year, like the 80 mph change he just hit off Tim Collins for a single, that's the kind of pitch an old man who can't catch up to a fastball will crush. Not saying that's him, but it's something to watch.
Alexi Casilla (.167/.211/.278) - His BABIP is just .200, which would make you think his performance is bound to get better just due to luck, but he doesn't walk (ever), he has no power (ever), and, get ready for this one.....he hasn't hit a single line drive all year. Basically all he does is bound the ball into the ground and hope to god he finds a hole (not dissimilar to Chuck Sheen) or hits the ball so shittily he can use his alleged speed to get on base. I guess. I don't know. I don't even get this guy. I think I'd rather have Punto back. Or Denny Hocking. Or Jeff Reboulet. At least he had a mustache. I'm tired and drunk.
And that's the end. I think what we can really take out of this is that this team sucks. Or, this team has seen a lot of curveballs and they can't hit them. Of the starters they've faced Ivan Nova, A.J. Burnett, Gio Gonzalez, Brett Anderson, and Brandon McCarthy are all big curve guys, with Burnett, Gonzalez, and McCarthy among the league leaders in % of pitches thrown that are curves. I'm not sure what that means. Probably something.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Talkin' Twins
With baseball camps starting to open up and baseball preview magazines hitting the store shelves I can't help but to have my thoughts turn to baseball (and the fact that the Gophers are driving me crazy isn't helping). Here are my quick thoughts (ok, probably not quick) on the team this season, position-by-position:
CATCHER: Joe Mauer is going to be who Joe Mauer be, which means he'll probably hit around .330 and OBP over .400 - both outstanding numbers for a catcher. The real question is if he has power more like in 2009, or is the 2010 version the real one. Personally, I think 2009 was a bit of a fluke, but I think he has more power than we saw in 2010, although it's harder to see thanks to the power reducing abilities in Target Field. I would put his HR total OVER/UNDER at 10.5, but as long as he keeps banging out those doubles his other numbers make him one of the most valuable players in the game. And are we really going with Drew Butera at back-up catcher again? Seeing as how he's the only other catcher on the 40-man roster and both of the other intriguing options (Morales, Ramos) were shipped off I guess so. I mean, I like the guy, he's excellent defensively and his name is really fun to say, but you could DH for him and let the pitcher bat instead and at worst that's a lateral move.
CORNER INFIELD: Was it really just two seasons ago Justin Morneau played in 163 games and finished second in the MVP balloting? It seems amazing given how fragile he's been and missing half a season after getting bumped in the head is a huge red flag. It's hard to believe it's even possible he won't be ready to opening day, but then again I said the same thing about last August, September, and October. Plus, we already know from Corey Koskie that the only reason somebody born in Canada plays baseball instead of hockey is because they can't take a hit, so temper your expectations, I've got a bad feeling about this.
As far as third base goes I liked what I saw out of Danny Valencia last year, but I didn't quite see enough to be ready to hand the job over to him for the next five years. I'm also not sure what other options they have because Matt Tolbert should never, ever start a game and the only other 3B on the 40-man roster is Luke Hughes, but it's starting to look less and less likely that he's the guy. I do like Valencia, and his second half numbers were still good and probably more what we're likely to see this year. If the power he showed in September carries over, the Twins will likely have a very good defensive third baseman who hits .280/.320/.460. Solid, but not spectacular. Like Reese Witherspoon or Chipotle.
MIDDLE INFIELD: I can't wait to hear Dick and Bert butcher Tsuyoshi Nishioka's name over and over again. I guarantee that they come up with a nickname within a week of the season opener, probably something as simple as Yoshi, which is fine as long as it's not the next Kaz Matsui, which is what he's known as around my house. Maybe I've just been beaten down by scrappy, light-hitting middle infielders with little to no plate discipline for so long that I have the same confidence in him that Jerry's mechanic has in that gasket.
And speaking of light hitting middle infielders, Alexi Casilla will get another chance to start, because as Lindsay Lohan and Dean Koontz have proven if you just keep giving second and third chances things will eventually work out. Seriously, how is Dean Koontz on the best-sellers list all the time? I read about 10 of his books just thinking I must have grabbed his bad ones and kept waiting to read a good one and I never found one. Servants of Twilight was decent, but everything else is just total crap you'd have to have a brain injury or the intelligence of a lamp to enjoy. Family Guy is mostly stupid and written for cretins, but I laughed my ass off during and episode right after Stephen King got hit by a car when Peter hit somebody with his car and goes "was that Stephen King?" and Lois says "No, it was Dean Koontz" and Peter puts the car in reverse and runs him over again. Suck it, Koontzy.
OUTFIELD: Here we go again. A bunch of mediocre to kind of good bats packaged along with terrible terrible terrible defense. Honestly, with Young, Span, and Kubel out there if there was a contest between those three and Carlos Gomez all by himself who do you think would catch more fly balls?
Defense aside, Span is the biggest concern and he really needs to be more like his 2009 self than last year's version. His walk rate dipped last year from 12.2% and 10.5% in 2008 and 2009 down to 8.5% last year and after walking 17 times in April he walked just 16 times in May & June combined and 17 times in September & October combined. Basically he stopped walking and starting flying out too much. He is absolutely a key to this team and needs to be their table-setter.
He also needs to find a way to get better defensively, because he needs to cover for the three corner guys: Jason Kubel, Delmon Young, and Michael Cuddyer. Young finally put up an offensive year his potential said was there, and although it feels like the kind of thing you can't quite trust, in fact he put up the best year of his career in the same year where his BABIP was at his career low. Yes, low. Meaning with a little more luck he could have had even better numbers. I actually anticipate his power going down a bit, because I think that surge we saw was a little more fluky than anything else, but I can easily see him hitting .320 or so over the course of the year with 40 or so doubles and 15 homers. That's a very, very good year. If he ever figures out some plate discipline he would have a chance at being truly dangerous.
Kubel I don't know about anymore. He's one of the best on the team when it comes to plate discipline, but regressed quite a bit from his career year in 2009. A lot of that can be attributed to a BABIP of just .280, 20 points lower than his career mark, and he should be able to bounce back to something closer to that 2009 version than last year's, but the real problem is that Kubes continues to be absolutely dreadful against lefties and at this point I don't think you can wait for him to snap out of it. If he's in the lineup even once against a left-handed pitcher it's one time too many.
Finally, Cuddy will be returning to the outfield, assuming Canada-boy gets himself back into play, and that's not exactly a good thing. I know he's a great teammate and his ability and willingness to play any position where he's needed is an excellent quality to have, and he's got a great arm. He is also nearly as slow as Young or Kubel and still refuses to lay off the outside slider in the dirt with two strikes despite the fact that every single pitcher throws it at him every single time he has two strikes on him. Honest to god, how do people watch Mark Reynolds day-in and day-out? Cuddyer doesn't strike out nearly as often as Reynolds, but he just makes me so angry. I'm not even especially anti-strikeout, even if they are fascist, but he just looks so weak and over-matched when he does it. At least Adam Dunn has the decency to swing hard when he misses a ball by 2 feet.
DH/BENCH: Jim Thome should basically have the DH locked down. I'd say the Twins would be better off sitting him against lefties, but what's your other option? I already mentioned Butera and Tolbert, neither of whom could get a hit even if they were married to Whitney Houston. And, assuming they carry 11 pitchers, they only other player on the bench will be Jason Repko. I secretly love Repko and have even used his name as a password on an account for something or other, but sometimes reality sets in and I remember he OPSed just .671 last year, a number basically identical to Tolbert, even if Repko seems like 10x the hitter Tolby is. So basically this is a pretty damn shallow bench.
STARTERS: Pretty underwhelming here, yeah? I hate that they're just rolling with the same group, although I can't really come up with any kind of master plan to make it any better, but lame, right? Baker is a #3/#4 on most teams, Slowey is a #4, Pavano - although I'm glad to have him back - is a #3, and Blackburn should be in AAA. We still don't know how good Duensing can be, but I think his absolute upside is a #3, which leaves Liriano for the excitement factor, and the Twins seem to be doing everything they can to try to make sure he isn't in their long term plans, which is ludicrous considering his 3.62 ERA last year was basically a worst case scenario based looking at his other stats - Aaron Gleeman breaks it all down better than I ever could here. Is it a good enough rotation to win the Central even though it's not as good as Chicago's group? Yes. Good enough to win the World Series? Well, I'll just wait for Kyle Gibson while I ponder that one. But no.
CLOSER: I'd imagine that Matt Capps will start the year as the closer with Joe Nathan getting eased in, but if Nathan looks close to form he'll slide back into his old job. That's as it should be since Nathan can be unhittable at times and has stuff Cappsy can only dream about. And a full season of Nathan, regular season only I mean, makes me feel pretty good. A full season of Capps makes me feel sweaty and nervous, like a fat girl before her first aerobics class. Don't you fear he's got a little bit of Bobby Jenks in him? Like, he's just a half mph or half inch or a little bit worse luck away from a 6.00 ERA? To put it another way, if Nathan is even 90% back from injury his downside is basically Cappsy's upside.
BULLPEN: As much as I don't love Capps as a closer, I think he's a good option as a set-up guy and that's good because if the starters are underwhelming the bullpen is just a picture of guy with a thought balloon and in that balloon is a question mark. Basically other than Capps and Jose Mijares we have one gigantic guessing game, with the biggest question being, "Why the holy hell did they essentially get rid of Rob Delaney in order to grab Dusty Mother Effing Hughes, somebody so bad at pitching a baseball that the KC Royals didn't even want him?" And who is Scott Diamond and why, by taking him in the Rule 5 draft, is he good enough to warrant a guaranteed spot on the major league active roster? Jim Hoey is getting a lot of play as a guy who could be a big-time setup guy, but he hasn't pitched in the majors since 2007 and owns a career ERA over 8. What about Neshek in year 2 since his elbow fell off? Is Glen Perkins head on straight and is his stuff good enough to become a reliable bullpen option? Can Anthony Slama's mustache get anybody out, or is he your classic AAAA type player? Is Alex Burnett a mop-up/long relief type who won't embarrass you or something more? Are Jeff Manship and Anthony Swarzak future starters, relievers, or ushers? Why did Eric Hacker get a major league contract?
I mean, look at this. That's what, 9 possible guys for 3-4 spots and doesn't even take into account that they have 6 non-Gibson starters for five spots. I guess the one big positive is that they do have a lot of options, so maybe that increases the odds that enough of them work out to make this a viable, quality bullpen. Sort of like increasing your chances of winning the Powerball by buying two tickets instead of one.
OVERALL OUTLOOK: I don't know, man, it seems like everywhere I look the Twins are getting picked to win the central again, but I don't know. It feels to me like the White Sox and Tigers did more this offseason and it wouldn't take much to push either of those teams out ahead of the Twins. I haven't really broken down the rosters to really get a clear view, but right now it feels like the downside is a rough year and third place division finish, while the upside is a narrow division win and a quick exit from the playoffs. It's hard to get excited about that. Again.
But you know what? I'll be watching. Damn near every game. And I'll be living and dying on damn near every pitch. And when I'm fishing up at the cabin the radio will be tuned to the game every damn night. Because it's the Twins, it's baseball, and I couldn't shake it if I tried.
CATCHER: Joe Mauer is going to be who Joe Mauer be, which means he'll probably hit around .330 and OBP over .400 - both outstanding numbers for a catcher. The real question is if he has power more like in 2009, or is the 2010 version the real one. Personally, I think 2009 was a bit of a fluke, but I think he has more power than we saw in 2010, although it's harder to see thanks to the power reducing abilities in Target Field. I would put his HR total OVER/UNDER at 10.5, but as long as he keeps banging out those doubles his other numbers make him one of the most valuable players in the game. And are we really going with Drew Butera at back-up catcher again? Seeing as how he's the only other catcher on the 40-man roster and both of the other intriguing options (Morales, Ramos) were shipped off I guess so. I mean, I like the guy, he's excellent defensively and his name is really fun to say, but you could DH for him and let the pitcher bat instead and at worst that's a lateral move.
CORNER INFIELD: Was it really just two seasons ago Justin Morneau played in 163 games and finished second in the MVP balloting? It seems amazing given how fragile he's been and missing half a season after getting bumped in the head is a huge red flag. It's hard to believe it's even possible he won't be ready to opening day, but then again I said the same thing about last August, September, and October. Plus, we already know from Corey Koskie that the only reason somebody born in Canada plays baseball instead of hockey is because they can't take a hit, so temper your expectations, I've got a bad feeling about this.
As far as third base goes I liked what I saw out of Danny Valencia last year, but I didn't quite see enough to be ready to hand the job over to him for the next five years. I'm also not sure what other options they have because Matt Tolbert should never, ever start a game and the only other 3B on the 40-man roster is Luke Hughes, but it's starting to look less and less likely that he's the guy. I do like Valencia, and his second half numbers were still good and probably more what we're likely to see this year. If the power he showed in September carries over, the Twins will likely have a very good defensive third baseman who hits .280/.320/.460. Solid, but not spectacular. Like Reese Witherspoon or Chipotle.
MIDDLE INFIELD: I can't wait to hear Dick and Bert butcher Tsuyoshi Nishioka's name over and over again. I guarantee that they come up with a nickname within a week of the season opener, probably something as simple as Yoshi, which is fine as long as it's not the next Kaz Matsui, which is what he's known as around my house. Maybe I've just been beaten down by scrappy, light-hitting middle infielders with little to no plate discipline for so long that I have the same confidence in him that Jerry's mechanic has in that gasket.
And speaking of light hitting middle infielders, Alexi Casilla will get another chance to start, because as Lindsay Lohan and Dean Koontz have proven if you just keep giving second and third chances things will eventually work out. Seriously, how is Dean Koontz on the best-sellers list all the time? I read about 10 of his books just thinking I must have grabbed his bad ones and kept waiting to read a good one and I never found one. Servants of Twilight was decent, but everything else is just total crap you'd have to have a brain injury or the intelligence of a lamp to enjoy. Family Guy is mostly stupid and written for cretins, but I laughed my ass off during and episode right after Stephen King got hit by a car when Peter hit somebody with his car and goes "was that Stephen King?" and Lois says "No, it was Dean Koontz" and Peter puts the car in reverse and runs him over again. Suck it, Koontzy.
OUTFIELD: Here we go again. A bunch of mediocre to kind of good bats packaged along with terrible terrible terrible defense. Honestly, with Young, Span, and Kubel out there if there was a contest between those three and Carlos Gomez all by himself who do you think would catch more fly balls?
Defense aside, Span is the biggest concern and he really needs to be more like his 2009 self than last year's version. His walk rate dipped last year from 12.2% and 10.5% in 2008 and 2009 down to 8.5% last year and after walking 17 times in April he walked just 16 times in May & June combined and 17 times in September & October combined. Basically he stopped walking and starting flying out too much. He is absolutely a key to this team and needs to be their table-setter.
He also needs to find a way to get better defensively, because he needs to cover for the three corner guys: Jason Kubel, Delmon Young, and Michael Cuddyer. Young finally put up an offensive year his potential said was there, and although it feels like the kind of thing you can't quite trust, in fact he put up the best year of his career in the same year where his BABIP was at his career low. Yes, low. Meaning with a little more luck he could have had even better numbers. I actually anticipate his power going down a bit, because I think that surge we saw was a little more fluky than anything else, but I can easily see him hitting .320 or so over the course of the year with 40 or so doubles and 15 homers. That's a very, very good year. If he ever figures out some plate discipline he would have a chance at being truly dangerous.
Kubel I don't know about anymore. He's one of the best on the team when it comes to plate discipline, but regressed quite a bit from his career year in 2009. A lot of that can be attributed to a BABIP of just .280, 20 points lower than his career mark, and he should be able to bounce back to something closer to that 2009 version than last year's, but the real problem is that Kubes continues to be absolutely dreadful against lefties and at this point I don't think you can wait for him to snap out of it. If he's in the lineup even once against a left-handed pitcher it's one time too many.
Finally, Cuddy will be returning to the outfield, assuming Canada-boy gets himself back into play, and that's not exactly a good thing. I know he's a great teammate and his ability and willingness to play any position where he's needed is an excellent quality to have, and he's got a great arm. He is also nearly as slow as Young or Kubel and still refuses to lay off the outside slider in the dirt with two strikes despite the fact that every single pitcher throws it at him every single time he has two strikes on him. Honest to god, how do people watch Mark Reynolds day-in and day-out? Cuddyer doesn't strike out nearly as often as Reynolds, but he just makes me so angry. I'm not even especially anti-strikeout, even if they are fascist, but he just looks so weak and over-matched when he does it. At least Adam Dunn has the decency to swing hard when he misses a ball by 2 feet.
DH/BENCH: Jim Thome should basically have the DH locked down. I'd say the Twins would be better off sitting him against lefties, but what's your other option? I already mentioned Butera and Tolbert, neither of whom could get a hit even if they were married to Whitney Houston. And, assuming they carry 11 pitchers, they only other player on the bench will be Jason Repko. I secretly love Repko and have even used his name as a password on an account for something or other, but sometimes reality sets in and I remember he OPSed just .671 last year, a number basically identical to Tolbert, even if Repko seems like 10x the hitter Tolby is. So basically this is a pretty damn shallow bench.
STARTERS: Pretty underwhelming here, yeah? I hate that they're just rolling with the same group, although I can't really come up with any kind of master plan to make it any better, but lame, right? Baker is a #3/#4 on most teams, Slowey is a #4, Pavano - although I'm glad to have him back - is a #3, and Blackburn should be in AAA. We still don't know how good Duensing can be, but I think his absolute upside is a #3, which leaves Liriano for the excitement factor, and the Twins seem to be doing everything they can to try to make sure he isn't in their long term plans, which is ludicrous considering his 3.62 ERA last year was basically a worst case scenario based looking at his other stats - Aaron Gleeman breaks it all down better than I ever could here. Is it a good enough rotation to win the Central even though it's not as good as Chicago's group? Yes. Good enough to win the World Series? Well, I'll just wait for Kyle Gibson while I ponder that one. But no.
CLOSER: I'd imagine that Matt Capps will start the year as the closer with Joe Nathan getting eased in, but if Nathan looks close to form he'll slide back into his old job. That's as it should be since Nathan can be unhittable at times and has stuff Cappsy can only dream about. And a full season of Nathan, regular season only I mean, makes me feel pretty good. A full season of Capps makes me feel sweaty and nervous, like a fat girl before her first aerobics class. Don't you fear he's got a little bit of Bobby Jenks in him? Like, he's just a half mph or half inch or a little bit worse luck away from a 6.00 ERA? To put it another way, if Nathan is even 90% back from injury his downside is basically Cappsy's upside.
BULLPEN: As much as I don't love Capps as a closer, I think he's a good option as a set-up guy and that's good because if the starters are underwhelming the bullpen is just a picture of guy with a thought balloon and in that balloon is a question mark. Basically other than Capps and Jose Mijares we have one gigantic guessing game, with the biggest question being, "Why the holy hell did they essentially get rid of Rob Delaney in order to grab Dusty Mother Effing Hughes, somebody so bad at pitching a baseball that the KC Royals didn't even want him?" And who is Scott Diamond and why, by taking him in the Rule 5 draft, is he good enough to warrant a guaranteed spot on the major league active roster? Jim Hoey is getting a lot of play as a guy who could be a big-time setup guy, but he hasn't pitched in the majors since 2007 and owns a career ERA over 8. What about Neshek in year 2 since his elbow fell off? Is Glen Perkins head on straight and is his stuff good enough to become a reliable bullpen option? Can Anthony Slama's mustache get anybody out, or is he your classic AAAA type player? Is Alex Burnett a mop-up/long relief type who won't embarrass you or something more? Are Jeff Manship and Anthony Swarzak future starters, relievers, or ushers? Why did Eric Hacker get a major league contract?
I mean, look at this. That's what, 9 possible guys for 3-4 spots and doesn't even take into account that they have 6 non-Gibson starters for five spots. I guess the one big positive is that they do have a lot of options, so maybe that increases the odds that enough of them work out to make this a viable, quality bullpen. Sort of like increasing your chances of winning the Powerball by buying two tickets instead of one.
OVERALL OUTLOOK: I don't know, man, it seems like everywhere I look the Twins are getting picked to win the central again, but I don't know. It feels to me like the White Sox and Tigers did more this offseason and it wouldn't take much to push either of those teams out ahead of the Twins. I haven't really broken down the rosters to really get a clear view, but right now it feels like the downside is a rough year and third place division finish, while the upside is a narrow division win and a quick exit from the playoffs. It's hard to get excited about that. Again.
But you know what? I'll be watching. Damn near every game. And I'll be living and dying on damn near every pitch. And when I'm fishing up at the cabin the radio will be tuned to the game every damn night. Because it's the Twins, it's baseball, and I couldn't shake it if I tried.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Five Game Lead.
Home from the hospital and watching the end of the Twins game. Might as well put some thoughts down on paper (as it were). We're in the top of the seventh, Twins up 7-5 with a runner on first and one out.
Just got a text from Snacks: "Wow chris sale is fucking nasty, not looking forward to seeing him for the next 20 years." Agree with the nasty part, and I'll assume 20 years in hyperbole. Follow up text "Or he could be the next Mike MacDougal." Also possible. I don't know if he's projected to end up a starter someday, which is what I'd bet on, but let's hope the Sox ship him out in a trade for Manny Ramirez or something. He made Joe Mauer look silly, and that doesn't happen often.
- Jesse Crain is in, and man has he turned a corner for me. It wasn't long ago I would cringed at him coming in here, but right now I'm pretty happy he's in for this high leverage situation. Don't let me down Jesse. Everybody I know named Jesse just ends up disappointing me or letting me down and I just don't like any of them. If you know anybody named Jesse, they probably suck, am I right? Don't be like that Crain, don't be like that.
- Strikes out Konerko who did not, in fact, Konork one. Inning over.
- Justin Morneau commercial here, where he's drinking any size softdrink from McDonald's for just a buck while lifting weights with a bear. Do McDonald's any size soft drinks for a dollar cause symptoms similar to a terrible concussion? Dizziness? Disorientation? Bloating? Who hasn't felt that after eating (and, presumably, drinking) at McDonald's? Has anyone investigated this?
- So I'm pretty happy with the Trevor Mbakwe news (he's back on the Gopher squad) and you should be too assuming you're not an old white guy who hates any black player who has ever had a minor scrape with the law, deserved or not. If nothing else this proves that Mbakwe is slippery enough to work his way out of an obvious frame job by some kind of anti-Minnesota cabal. Something Royce White couldn't manage. Worth mentioning.
- Sale walks Kubel. Guess he's not that good afterall.
- Tall, throws 97+, and wild as hell. He could end up the next Randy Johnson. Or the next Odalis Perez.
- Knock for Cuddy (suck it Snacks). He hit that ball as slow as one can and still get it through the SS/3B hole, but it's still a hit. Guys a stud.
- Strikes out Thome on 3 pitches and made him look silly. If nothing else, Sale has a future as a LH specialist, although I suspect he's going to embarrass some Twins as a starter for years to come.
- Wait, Brett Favre is coming back to QB the Vikes? How do I not know this? Why isn't there any media coverage of something this big? An embarrassment of epic proportions for the media here. Like when Torii Hunter dove for that ball Mark Kotsay hit.
- Scott Linebrink in. So the Sox bullpen has Linebrink, Santos, Putz, Thornton, and Sale? Holy god does that sound good. Too bad they suck.
- Delmon with a hard hit ball to first for an out which moves the runners up. I'm stunned right now that Bert isn't extolling his virtue for "sacrifing" himself to move the runners along.
- One thing I would post about if I was doing a 6 things post tonight is how BYU is leaving the Mountain West. Having Boise move in seemed to legitimize the conference (football wise), but then having Utah leave neutralized that move, so I guess BYU figured they weren't ever going to get a BCS bid this way (note: try being good first) so they are taking this step. Although this means the rest of their sports are apparently moving to the WAC, which kills their basketball team. Now I understand football makes the money, but BYU in hoops could basically pencil themselves in for an NCAA bid every single year, and now they are moving to a conference where it takes an absolute incredible season to get a bid (ask Utah State). About the only upside I see here is that when I attend my semi-annual USU game I get a shot at seeing BYU. Although I fail to see how that helps the Cougars. Maybe they feel pretty good about throwing off the shackles on a conference affiliation. Next is throwing off the shackles of an oppressive religion. Baby steps, I suppose.
- Quentin (who I still thinks looks like a retarded Cartman) laces a hit to center. AJ now up with nobody down. And you know what? I have no idea why people boo A.J. when he comes to Minnesota. The guy played his heart out when he was here, has nothing but good things to say about the Twins organization if you listen to him when he's on KFAN, and is just a gamer, which white people seem to love. The alleged Delmon Young play which isn't a controversy although people seem to be trying to make it one? When asked about it AJ said, "He had no other play and it's part of the game" or something similar. You want me to say it? Fine. I love A.J. Pierzinski. And I love him even more now because he hit into a double play.
- We might be heading towards a Capps appearance here. That makes me far more nervous than bringing in an acquired at the trade deadline closer should. Oh and I saw earlier today on Twitter (follow me @downwithgoldy) that the Nationals called up Wilson Ramos after he had a solid few weeks at AAA. Man, if he ends up becoming a star, I won't care at all because the Twins are winning the World Series this year.
- First and third now after Hudson and Mauer hits. Makes Mauer 4-5, with a HR and a double. Pretty good night. He's been about as hot as anybody since the break. Do you realize how good this lineup would be if Morneau hadn't gotten whacked in the head? Or how good it is without him? Snacks made an interested point last time he was drunk and rambling; getting Morneau back basically just takes Thome out of the lineup. Do ou want Thome out of the lineup? I sure as hell don't. Maybe Morneau will clear waivers and they can trade him for Dan Haren.
- Kubel grounds out because he sucks and that's why I traded him. Capps in. Breath being held.
- Text from Snacks: "I feel like Capps blwing saves now will benefit the Twins so Crain is doing it in October." I don't even know what to say here. Poor kid has an obsession with Jesse Crain that borders on the creepy. Also, I'd assume he means "doing it in October" as saving games, but really. Jesse Crain in the 9th in a one run game against the Yankees in the playoffs? I can't imagine anybody likes that idea, not even Crain lover #1.
- It's the Final Countdown. Bu-du dah dah, buh-dah dah dah dah, dah-du dah dah dah, the Final Countdown!
- One out. Easy. Omar Vizquel should retire.
- Jason Repko in right to replace Kubel. Good. Game needs more Repko.
- Double by Beckham. Terribel terrible terrible pitch. Right down the middle. Seriously, if we rate Rauch as say a 7.0, Capps is a 7.1. Ugh.
- Base hit by Pierre. One run game. Ugh.
- Ramirez somehow misses on an absolute meatball and grounds out to third base. Tying run on second, two away. I really really really hope nobody was expecting Joe Nathan when they traded for Capps. If you were you are an idiot and should stop watching baseball. Giving up Ramos for him was just terrible.
- Konerko grounds out to first, Twins win and are now up 5 games. Wrap this one up, it's over. Looking forward to getting swept by the Yankees. Good night everybody.
Just got a text from Snacks: "Wow chris sale is fucking nasty, not looking forward to seeing him for the next 20 years." Agree with the nasty part, and I'll assume 20 years in hyperbole. Follow up text "Or he could be the next Mike MacDougal." Also possible. I don't know if he's projected to end up a starter someday, which is what I'd bet on, but let's hope the Sox ship him out in a trade for Manny Ramirez or something. He made Joe Mauer look silly, and that doesn't happen often.
- Jesse Crain is in, and man has he turned a corner for me. It wasn't long ago I would cringed at him coming in here, but right now I'm pretty happy he's in for this high leverage situation. Don't let me down Jesse. Everybody I know named Jesse just ends up disappointing me or letting me down and I just don't like any of them. If you know anybody named Jesse, they probably suck, am I right? Don't be like that Crain, don't be like that.
- Strikes out Konerko who did not, in fact, Konork one. Inning over.
- Justin Morneau commercial here, where he's drinking any size softdrink from McDonald's for just a buck while lifting weights with a bear. Do McDonald's any size soft drinks for a dollar cause symptoms similar to a terrible concussion? Dizziness? Disorientation? Bloating? Who hasn't felt that after eating (and, presumably, drinking) at McDonald's? Has anyone investigated this?
- So I'm pretty happy with the Trevor Mbakwe news (he's back on the Gopher squad) and you should be too assuming you're not an old white guy who hates any black player who has ever had a minor scrape with the law, deserved or not. If nothing else this proves that Mbakwe is slippery enough to work his way out of an obvious frame job by some kind of anti-Minnesota cabal. Something Royce White couldn't manage. Worth mentioning.
- Sale walks Kubel. Guess he's not that good afterall.
- Tall, throws 97+, and wild as hell. He could end up the next Randy Johnson. Or the next Odalis Perez.
- Knock for Cuddy (suck it Snacks). He hit that ball as slow as one can and still get it through the SS/3B hole, but it's still a hit. Guys a stud.
- Strikes out Thome on 3 pitches and made him look silly. If nothing else, Sale has a future as a LH specialist, although I suspect he's going to embarrass some Twins as a starter for years to come.
- Wait, Brett Favre is coming back to QB the Vikes? How do I not know this? Why isn't there any media coverage of something this big? An embarrassment of epic proportions for the media here. Like when Torii Hunter dove for that ball Mark Kotsay hit.
- Scott Linebrink in. So the Sox bullpen has Linebrink, Santos, Putz, Thornton, and Sale? Holy god does that sound good. Too bad they suck.
- Delmon with a hard hit ball to first for an out which moves the runners up. I'm stunned right now that Bert isn't extolling his virtue for "sacrifing" himself to move the runners along.
- One thing I would post about if I was doing a 6 things post tonight is how BYU is leaving the Mountain West. Having Boise move in seemed to legitimize the conference (football wise), but then having Utah leave neutralized that move, so I guess BYU figured they weren't ever going to get a BCS bid this way (note: try being good first) so they are taking this step. Although this means the rest of their sports are apparently moving to the WAC, which kills their basketball team. Now I understand football makes the money, but BYU in hoops could basically pencil themselves in for an NCAA bid every single year, and now they are moving to a conference where it takes an absolute incredible season to get a bid (ask Utah State). About the only upside I see here is that when I attend my semi-annual USU game I get a shot at seeing BYU. Although I fail to see how that helps the Cougars. Maybe they feel pretty good about throwing off the shackles on a conference affiliation. Next is throwing off the shackles of an oppressive religion. Baby steps, I suppose.
- Quentin (who I still thinks looks like a retarded Cartman) laces a hit to center. AJ now up with nobody down. And you know what? I have no idea why people boo A.J. when he comes to Minnesota. The guy played his heart out when he was here, has nothing but good things to say about the Twins organization if you listen to him when he's on KFAN, and is just a gamer, which white people seem to love. The alleged Delmon Young play which isn't a controversy although people seem to be trying to make it one? When asked about it AJ said, "He had no other play and it's part of the game" or something similar. You want me to say it? Fine. I love A.J. Pierzinski. And I love him even more now because he hit into a double play.
- We might be heading towards a Capps appearance here. That makes me far more nervous than bringing in an acquired at the trade deadline closer should. Oh and I saw earlier today on Twitter (follow me @downwithgoldy) that the Nationals called up Wilson Ramos after he had a solid few weeks at AAA. Man, if he ends up becoming a star, I won't care at all because the Twins are winning the World Series this year.
- First and third now after Hudson and Mauer hits. Makes Mauer 4-5, with a HR and a double. Pretty good night. He's been about as hot as anybody since the break. Do you realize how good this lineup would be if Morneau hadn't gotten whacked in the head? Or how good it is without him? Snacks made an interested point last time he was drunk and rambling; getting Morneau back basically just takes Thome out of the lineup. Do ou want Thome out of the lineup? I sure as hell don't. Maybe Morneau will clear waivers and they can trade him for Dan Haren.
- Kubel grounds out because he sucks and that's why I traded him. Capps in. Breath being held.
- Text from Snacks: "I feel like Capps blwing saves now will benefit the Twins so Crain is doing it in October." I don't even know what to say here. Poor kid has an obsession with Jesse Crain that borders on the creepy. Also, I'd assume he means "doing it in October" as saving games, but really. Jesse Crain in the 9th in a one run game against the Yankees in the playoffs? I can't imagine anybody likes that idea, not even Crain lover #1.
- It's the Final Countdown. Bu-du dah dah, buh-dah dah dah dah, dah-du dah dah dah, the Final Countdown!
- One out. Easy. Omar Vizquel should retire.
- Jason Repko in right to replace Kubel. Good. Game needs more Repko.
- Double by Beckham. Terribel terrible terrible pitch. Right down the middle. Seriously, if we rate Rauch as say a 7.0, Capps is a 7.1. Ugh.
- Base hit by Pierre. One run game. Ugh.
- Ramirez somehow misses on an absolute meatball and grounds out to third base. Tying run on second, two away. I really really really hope nobody was expecting Joe Nathan when they traded for Capps. If you were you are an idiot and should stop watching baseball. Giving up Ramos for him was just terrible.
- Konerko grounds out to first, Twins win and are now up 5 games. Wrap this one up, it's over. Looking forward to getting swept by the Yankees. Good night everybody.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
FACT
FACT: It was 10 years ago today Cal Ripken Jr. got his 3,000th career hit against the Twins.
FACT #2: It was also 10 years ago that we were at that game and while everyone else was standing and applauding a great career accomplishment, Dawger was firmly planted in his seat calling everyone else a sell-out and comparing Cal Ripken to Michael Cuddyer, which also berthed one of the greatest internet cartoons ever on DWG, which I can no longer find.
I'll still have some Cobbsy talk tonight, maybe, but I wanted to give everyone the chance to celebrate this moment in history.
FACT #2: It was also 10 years ago that we were at that game and while everyone else was standing and applauding a great career accomplishment, Dawger was firmly planted in his seat calling everyone else a sell-out and comparing Cal Ripken to Michael Cuddyer, which also berthed one of the greatest internet cartoons ever on DWG, which I can no longer find.
I'll still have some Cobbsy talk tonight, maybe, but I wanted to give everyone the chance to celebrate this moment in history.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
A Christmas Wish
I'm not going to preview the South Dakota State game (Go Jackrabbits!). I'm just not. You can't make me. They are the last in a string of terrible non-conference opponents, they're terrible, and they have nobody worth watching. Instead, I'm going to do a cliched cheesy christmas wish list. Hopefully it's not terrible, but if it is, you get what you pay for.
Dear Santa,
Please bring:
Al Nolen the ability to finish at the rim. I could have gone with jumpshot here as well, but if he can only have one I think adding the threat of being able to score when he consistently blows by his defender is more valuable than an outside shot. Once the big ten season starts, players aren't going to leave their men for easy dishes - they know things.
Damian Johnson a consistent outside shot. Remember Travarus Bennett? Similar player, but he developed into a good perimeter shooter his senior year (as did Eric Harris). Johnson is improved, but he's not there yet.
Ralph Sampson a mean streak. He's nearly perfect physically (*swoon*), but it would be nice to see him a little more fired up, maybe knocking around a few people's heads and toss in a technical here or there. Get pissed Ralphie, you're being disrespected.
Colt Iverson the dream shake. Although improved, his footwork on the low block can be cringe-worthy at times. If he adds some moves and be smoother and more fluid, I am starting to think he could be a serious offensive weapon down the line.
Joe Mauer the one team loyalty of Kirby Puckett and Cal Ripken. Come on Joe, you know you want to. What can money buy you any way outside of happiness, love, and everything you could ever want?
Bill Smith some aggressiveness. The J.J. Hardy trade is a good start, but there is a lot more work to do here, especially if you want to prove to Jo-Jo that you're serious about winning. Take a page out of Seattle's book - they have a higher payroll but they maximize it.
Carlos Gomez the drive to excel when he's been disrespected (think Steve Smith). I'd rather have him do it with the Twins, but he's gone now. I'd love to see him channel their giving up on him into becoming a great player.
Brad Childress all the mental faculties a head coach needs. Any of them would do, I'm not sure he has a single one.
Adrian Peterson twenty carries a game. How is this something we even have to ask for?
Brett Favre the fountain of youth. Don't you go falling apart on me old man.
Michael Cuddyer the hope that someone takes away Greg Gagne's inability to resist the down and away Slider in the dirt - this would be the White Elephant/Yankee Swap portion of the evening.
Devoe Joseph a brother to play with.
Lawrence Westbrook some focus. You may be the "#1 option", but this whole team is essentially 1B to your 1A, and drifting in-and-out of attentiveness on both ends of the court is not an endearing trait.
Delmon Young some plate patience. I'm not sure what his ceiling is, but I'm confidant we aren't going to see it unless he stops swinging at every pitch he sees.
Devron Bostick a time machine. If he had chosen St. Louis or Northern Illinois (two others who offered) he would be averaging 15-20 per game.
Blake Hoffarber nothing. He's perfect.
Baseball some kind of reform. Watching the Yankees and Red Sox continue to stock pile anything they want is actually starting to leave a bad taste in my mouth, and I know I'm late to the party and have defending the sport over and over again. The Yankees just picked up Javier Vazquez, who is owed $11.5 million next year, to be their fourth starter. $11.5 million for a fourth starter! If he doesn't work out, they just shrug their shoulders and move on, meanwhile that money would be a huge investment for 90% of the other teams. Frustrating.
Francisco Liriano some kind of miracle cure. I can't be the only whose heart breaks every time he's on the hill, and not just for me as a fan, but for him as well. It has to be incredibly frustrating.
Joe Crede the guy who worked on Larry Bird's back towards the end of his career. Bird couldn't move on non-game days, but when he had to play the dude worked his Miyagi/Kilmer magic and Bird would go mess around and get a triple-double, yet Crede has missed like, 75% of his teams games.
I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting, but unfortunately that's all the time I have. For now, let me say Merry Christmas (and all other Holidays) from Down with Goldy and WonderbabyTM, who really is not a big fan of Santa Claus:
Dear Santa,
Please bring:
Al Nolen the ability to finish at the rim. I could have gone with jumpshot here as well, but if he can only have one I think adding the threat of being able to score when he consistently blows by his defender is more valuable than an outside shot. Once the big ten season starts, players aren't going to leave their men for easy dishes - they know things.
Damian Johnson a consistent outside shot. Remember Travarus Bennett? Similar player, but he developed into a good perimeter shooter his senior year (as did Eric Harris). Johnson is improved, but he's not there yet.
Ralph Sampson a mean streak. He's nearly perfect physically (*swoon*), but it would be nice to see him a little more fired up, maybe knocking around a few people's heads and toss in a technical here or there. Get pissed Ralphie, you're being disrespected.
Colt Iverson the dream shake. Although improved, his footwork on the low block can be cringe-worthy at times. If he adds some moves and be smoother and more fluid, I am starting to think he could be a serious offensive weapon down the line.
Joe Mauer the one team loyalty of Kirby Puckett and Cal Ripken. Come on Joe, you know you want to. What can money buy you any way outside of happiness, love, and everything you could ever want?
Bill Smith some aggressiveness. The J.J. Hardy trade is a good start, but there is a lot more work to do here, especially if you want to prove to Jo-Jo that you're serious about winning. Take a page out of Seattle's book - they have a higher payroll but they maximize it.
Carlos Gomez the drive to excel when he's been disrespected (think Steve Smith). I'd rather have him do it with the Twins, but he's gone now. I'd love to see him channel their giving up on him into becoming a great player.
Brad Childress all the mental faculties a head coach needs. Any of them would do, I'm not sure he has a single one.
Adrian Peterson twenty carries a game. How is this something we even have to ask for?
Brett Favre the fountain of youth. Don't you go falling apart on me old man.
Michael Cuddyer the hope that someone takes away Greg Gagne's inability to resist the down and away Slider in the dirt - this would be the White Elephant/Yankee Swap portion of the evening.
Devoe Joseph a brother to play with.
Lawrence Westbrook some focus. You may be the "#1 option", but this whole team is essentially 1B to your 1A, and drifting in-and-out of attentiveness on both ends of the court is not an endearing trait.
Delmon Young some plate patience. I'm not sure what his ceiling is, but I'm confidant we aren't going to see it unless he stops swinging at every pitch he sees.
Devron Bostick a time machine. If he had chosen St. Louis or Northern Illinois (two others who offered) he would be averaging 15-20 per game.
Blake Hoffarber nothing. He's perfect.
Baseball some kind of reform. Watching the Yankees and Red Sox continue to stock pile anything they want is actually starting to leave a bad taste in my mouth, and I know I'm late to the party and have defending the sport over and over again. The Yankees just picked up Javier Vazquez, who is owed $11.5 million next year, to be their fourth starter. $11.5 million for a fourth starter! If he doesn't work out, they just shrug their shoulders and move on, meanwhile that money would be a huge investment for 90% of the other teams. Frustrating.
Francisco Liriano some kind of miracle cure. I can't be the only whose heart breaks every time he's on the hill, and not just for me as a fan, but for him as well. It has to be incredibly frustrating.
Joe Crede the guy who worked on Larry Bird's back towards the end of his career. Bird couldn't move on non-game days, but when he had to play the dude worked his Miyagi/Kilmer magic and Bird would go mess around and get a triple-double, yet Crede has missed like, 75% of his teams games.
I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting, but unfortunately that's all the time I have. For now, let me say Merry Christmas (and all other Holidays) from Down with Goldy and WonderbabyTM, who really is not a big fan of Santa Claus:
Friday, November 20, 2009
I haven't been to New Jersey in a while. I haven't missed it.
Sorry I haven't posting while out here in Jersey so far this week, folks, but each night when I got back to my hotel room I was just plain tuckered. The first night the plane didn't land until 7:30, and after the hour drive to the hotel we had dinner (cajun chicken sandwich, fries) and then I finally got to my room about 10. I didn't want to start drinking since I had a long day the next day, and god knows the only way I can get up the effort to type on this stupid blog is if I'm into a little bit of Grandpa's cough medicine.
And boy was I right about a long day. A scheduled eight-hour meeting just kept going and turned into a ten hour meeting, which meant there was no break before dinner. And wow. This was a 3.5 hour dinner, no joke. Everybody there had to order every course. First, we had to get appetizers for the entire table (calamari, prosciutto, grilled shrimp, eggplant, brie bruschetta, mozzarella), then salad (I had a ceasar), main course (cajun rib-eye, roasted squash, whipped potatoes - and that rib-eye was not cajun in the least), and then everyone just had to get desert (I almost got a port, but since I had to drive went with the creme brule). Then when I got to the hotel, I had emails waiting for me with questions that needed answering that night, so needless to say blogging was out of the question.
Tonight, however, I am on my own and the only thing I have to accomplish is getting on a shuttle to the airport at 9am tomorrow, so I can have a little time for just me and you, my old friend, just me and you. I had a nice simple dinner (bacon cheeseburger, onion rings) with a couple beers and a couple cocktails (vodka & tonic), and picked up a six-pack of Coors Light Silos on my way to the hotel. So let's see what we see, shan't we?
- For some reason the internet is telling me the Gophers are up just 32-24 at half against Utah Valley, which is less than encouraging. I almost tried to write a quick preview of the game last night, but when I was researching Utah Valley I realized it wasn't worth it because they are god awful. But now the Gophers are just up 8 at half. I know, thanks to texts from Snacks and Grandslam, that Westbrook is out because of food poisoning, and I know I said I thought he was heading for a "special" senior season, but come on. It's Utah Valley. I'm almost certain a roster of Terrance Simmons, Steve Esselink, David Grim, Travis Busch, and Kevin Loge could take these guys. I'm going to assume the second half is going to go much better.
- In more impressive news, I watched Syracuse kick the crap out of Cal tonight in the bar. I may have underrated the Cuse. From my vantage point it was tough to tell who was doing what (Wes J might have had 5 or 25 for all I know) but one thing I could tell is the Orange point guard situation is in much better shape than I anticipated. Scoop Jardine looked great (how could I doubt a guy named Scoop?), and this kid Brandon Triche looked really good as well. He's going to be a star in two years.
- Gophers now up 41-26. Much better. I feel now like I can relax, and just get ready to watch Ohio State beat the piss out of the Gay Heels. Seriously. You watch.
- Speaking of basketball, I'm sure you're dying for an update on my college basketball fantasy league. I won't post the whole draft list, you can find the earlier picks in some other posts, but here is an update since I last posted:
8.12 DWG - Damian Johnson, F, Minnesota
9.1 DWG - Edwin Ubiles, G/F, Siena
9.2 TLEF - TaJuan Porter, G, Oregon
9.3 NotoriousTREJetBrit - Rotnei Clarke, G, Arkansas
9.4 Saintfool - Theo Robertson, G/F, Cal
9.5 Aerial Assault - Matt Bouldin, G, Gonzaga
9.6 WuBanger - Jason Love, C, Xavier
9.7 Truck - Herb Pope, F, Seton Hall
9.8 Jeter23 - Austin Freeman, G, Georgetown
9.9 Tar Heel Boy - Mike Tisdale, C, Illinois
9.10 BasketballCoach - Avery Bradley, G, Texas
9.11 Tobias Funke - Armon Johnson, G, Nevada
9.12 Balco - Vernon Macklin, F/C, Florida
10.1 Balco - Elias Harris, F, Gonzaga
10.2 Tobias Funke - Michael Dunigan, C, Oregon
10.3 Basketball Coach - Klay Thompson, G, Washington St.
10.4 Tar Heel Boy - William Buford, G, Ohio St.
10.5 Jeter23 - Scotty Hopson, G, Tennessee
10.6 Truck - Malcolm Lee, G, UCLA
10.7 WuBanger - Durrell Summers, G, Michigan St.
10.8 Aerial Assault - Ekpe Udoh, F/C Baylor
10.9 Saintfool - Raymar Morgan, F, Michigan St.
10.10 NotoriousTREJetBrit - Bo Spencer, G, LSU
10.11 TLEF - Nolan Smith, G, Duke
10.12 DWG - Jordan Crawford, G, Xavier
11.1 DWG - Brandon Paul, G, Illinois
11.2 TLEF - Joe Trapani, F, Boston College
11.3 NotoriousTREJetBrit - Eric Boateng, C, Arizona State
11.4 Saintfool - Landon Milbourne, F, Maryland
11.5 Aerial Assault - Ryan Rossiter, F, Siena
11.6 WuBanger - Tyler Roche, F, Boston College
11.7 Truck - Jimmy Butler, G/F, Marquette
11.8 Jeter23 - Storm Warren, F, LSU
11.9 Tar Heel Boy - Mike Singletary, F, Texas Tech
11.10 BasketballCoach - DeWayne Reed, G, Auburn
11.11 Tobias Funke - Dee Bost, G, Mississippi St.
11.12 Balco - John Jenkins, F, Vanderbilt
12.1 Balco - Chandler Parsons, F, Florida
12.2 Tobias Funke - Derwin Kitchen, G, Florida State
12.3 Basketball Coach - Mike Davis, F, Illinois
12.4 Tar Heel Boy - Marcus Ginyard, G, North Carolina
12.5 Jeter23 - Marshall Moses, F, Oklahoma St.
12.6 Truck - John Roberson, G, Texas Tech.
12.7 WuBanger -
12.8 Aerial Assault -
12.9 Saintfool -
12.10 NotoriousTREJetBrit -
12.11 TLEF -
12.12 DWG -
That gives me a team of:
G: Chris Warren - Ole Miss, Nic Wise - Arizona, Deonta Vaughn - Cincy, Jordan Crawford - Xavier, Brandon Paul - Illinois
F: Luke Harangody - Notre Dame, Tyler Smith - Tennessee, Damian Johnson - Minnesota, Edwin Ubiles - Siena
C: JaJuan Johnson - Purdue, Derrick Favors - Georgia Tech
I like it. Coming up, I'm hoping to get Ralph Sampson and Courtney Fortson. Sampson is even more valuable since centers are such a commodity, I probably should have taken him last round. I'm nervous because not only because of the rare good centers thing, but because I know team NotoriousTREJetBrit is from Minnesota, and was not happy when I picked DJ. Hopefully Ralphie slips by them, I'm going to be heartbroken if I miss out on Ralph.
Fortson is a risk because he's suspended right now, and actually I haven't looked into exactly why and that's probably something I should investigate before I pick him. But on stats alone, he would have gone at least two rounds earlier and probably more like four. If he cuts down on turnovers he'd be a fantasy, and real life, star. I'm willing to risk it, since I'm very solid at guard.
- Just heard on ESPN2 "The Big Ten is the deepest conference in America" right as they go into Penn State highlights. Oops (although I do happen to agree with that sentiment, except maybe the Big 12). I have no doubt I will write about this further on Monday. That's right Penn State, you officially suck. To give you a quick preview, Penn State was a 12 point (or so, I don't remember exactly) favorite, and my instinct said to bet Wilmington. Then I researched Wilmington, and switched to Penn State because UNCW sounded THAT bad.
- Now with 9 minutes to go, it's just 51-43 Gophers. I think they were like a 26 point favorite. This is disappointing. And so is this Ohio State game. Kyle Madsen over Dallas Lauderdale? Why would you make that call, especially against UNC and Ed Davis and Deon Thompson? No Lauderdale is in at least, but if they can avoid playing Madsen the rest of the game, it would be a good move.
- Now 17-11 UNC. P.J. Hill just scored. Barf.
- I just went to get ice and now suddenly it's 26-11 North Carolina. My prediction of Ohio State as a final four sleeper is suddenly looking like my "JP Losman will have a breakout year" call.
- Wow, the Gophers somehow managed to win 76-51, and snacks reminds me that it was a -24.5 spread. WE WIN!
- Wonderbaby is freaking awesome, by the way, thanks for asking. She can now count to four, and she was advanced enough in her gymnastics thing to skip a whole class, and is now tumbling with three year olds. She's 19 months. Suck it, every other baby. And she even likes yard work.
And boy was I right about a long day. A scheduled eight-hour meeting just kept going and turned into a ten hour meeting, which meant there was no break before dinner. And wow. This was a 3.5 hour dinner, no joke. Everybody there had to order every course. First, we had to get appetizers for the entire table (calamari, prosciutto, grilled shrimp, eggplant, brie bruschetta, mozzarella), then salad (I had a ceasar), main course (cajun rib-eye, roasted squash, whipped potatoes - and that rib-eye was not cajun in the least), and then everyone just had to get desert (I almost got a port, but since I had to drive went with the creme brule). Then when I got to the hotel, I had emails waiting for me with questions that needed answering that night, so needless to say blogging was out of the question.
Tonight, however, I am on my own and the only thing I have to accomplish is getting on a shuttle to the airport at 9am tomorrow, so I can have a little time for just me and you, my old friend, just me and you. I had a nice simple dinner (bacon cheeseburger, onion rings) with a couple beers and a couple cocktails (vodka & tonic), and picked up a six-pack of Coors Light Silos on my way to the hotel. So let's see what we see, shan't we?
- For some reason the internet is telling me the Gophers are up just 32-24 at half against Utah Valley, which is less than encouraging. I almost tried to write a quick preview of the game last night, but when I was researching Utah Valley I realized it wasn't worth it because they are god awful. But now the Gophers are just up 8 at half. I know, thanks to texts from Snacks and Grandslam, that Westbrook is out because of food poisoning, and I know I said I thought he was heading for a "special" senior season, but come on. It's Utah Valley. I'm almost certain a roster of Terrance Simmons, Steve Esselink, David Grim, Travis Busch, and Kevin Loge could take these guys. I'm going to assume the second half is going to go much better.
- In more impressive news, I watched Syracuse kick the crap out of Cal tonight in the bar. I may have underrated the Cuse. From my vantage point it was tough to tell who was doing what (Wes J might have had 5 or 25 for all I know) but one thing I could tell is the Orange point guard situation is in much better shape than I anticipated. Scoop Jardine looked great (how could I doubt a guy named Scoop?), and this kid Brandon Triche looked really good as well. He's going to be a star in two years.
- Gophers now up 41-26. Much better. I feel now like I can relax, and just get ready to watch Ohio State beat the piss out of the Gay Heels. Seriously. You watch.
- Speaking of basketball, I'm sure you're dying for an update on my college basketball fantasy league. I won't post the whole draft list, you can find the earlier picks in some other posts, but here is an update since I last posted:
8.12 DWG - Damian Johnson, F, Minnesota
9.1 DWG - Edwin Ubiles, G/F, Siena
9.2 TLEF - TaJuan Porter, G, Oregon
9.3 NotoriousTREJetBrit - Rotnei Clarke, G, Arkansas
9.4 Saintfool - Theo Robertson, G/F, Cal
9.5 Aerial Assault - Matt Bouldin, G, Gonzaga
9.6 WuBanger - Jason Love, C, Xavier
9.7 Truck - Herb Pope, F, Seton Hall
9.8 Jeter23 - Austin Freeman, G, Georgetown
9.9 Tar Heel Boy - Mike Tisdale, C, Illinois
9.10 BasketballCoach - Avery Bradley, G, Texas
9.11 Tobias Funke - Armon Johnson, G, Nevada
9.12 Balco - Vernon Macklin, F/C, Florida
10.1 Balco - Elias Harris, F, Gonzaga
10.2 Tobias Funke - Michael Dunigan, C, Oregon
10.3 Basketball Coach - Klay Thompson, G, Washington St.
10.4 Tar Heel Boy - William Buford, G, Ohio St.
10.5 Jeter23 - Scotty Hopson, G, Tennessee
10.6 Truck - Malcolm Lee, G, UCLA
10.7 WuBanger - Durrell Summers, G, Michigan St.
10.8 Aerial Assault - Ekpe Udoh, F/C Baylor
10.9 Saintfool - Raymar Morgan, F, Michigan St.
10.10 NotoriousTREJetBrit - Bo Spencer, G, LSU
10.11 TLEF - Nolan Smith, G, Duke
10.12 DWG - Jordan Crawford, G, Xavier
11.1 DWG - Brandon Paul, G, Illinois
11.2 TLEF - Joe Trapani, F, Boston College
11.3 NotoriousTREJetBrit - Eric Boateng, C, Arizona State
11.4 Saintfool - Landon Milbourne, F, Maryland
11.5 Aerial Assault - Ryan Rossiter, F, Siena
11.6 WuBanger - Tyler Roche, F, Boston College
11.7 Truck - Jimmy Butler, G/F, Marquette
11.8 Jeter23 - Storm Warren, F, LSU
11.9 Tar Heel Boy - Mike Singletary, F, Texas Tech
11.10 BasketballCoach - DeWayne Reed, G, Auburn
11.11 Tobias Funke - Dee Bost, G, Mississippi St.
11.12 Balco - John Jenkins, F, Vanderbilt
12.1 Balco - Chandler Parsons, F, Florida
12.2 Tobias Funke - Derwin Kitchen, G, Florida State
12.3 Basketball Coach - Mike Davis, F, Illinois
12.4 Tar Heel Boy - Marcus Ginyard, G, North Carolina
12.5 Jeter23 - Marshall Moses, F, Oklahoma St.
12.6 Truck - John Roberson, G, Texas Tech.
12.7 WuBanger -
12.8 Aerial Assault -
12.9 Saintfool -
12.10 NotoriousTREJetBrit -
12.11 TLEF -
12.12 DWG -
That gives me a team of:
G: Chris Warren - Ole Miss, Nic Wise - Arizona, Deonta Vaughn - Cincy, Jordan Crawford - Xavier, Brandon Paul - Illinois
F: Luke Harangody - Notre Dame, Tyler Smith - Tennessee, Damian Johnson - Minnesota, Edwin Ubiles - Siena
C: JaJuan Johnson - Purdue, Derrick Favors - Georgia Tech
I like it. Coming up, I'm hoping to get Ralph Sampson and Courtney Fortson. Sampson is even more valuable since centers are such a commodity, I probably should have taken him last round. I'm nervous because not only because of the rare good centers thing, but because I know team NotoriousTREJetBrit is from Minnesota, and was not happy when I picked DJ. Hopefully Ralphie slips by them, I'm going to be heartbroken if I miss out on Ralph.
Fortson is a risk because he's suspended right now, and actually I haven't looked into exactly why and that's probably something I should investigate before I pick him. But on stats alone, he would have gone at least two rounds earlier and probably more like four. If he cuts down on turnovers he'd be a fantasy, and real life, star. I'm willing to risk it, since I'm very solid at guard.
- Just heard on ESPN2 "The Big Ten is the deepest conference in America" right as they go into Penn State highlights. Oops (although I do happen to agree with that sentiment, except maybe the Big 12). I have no doubt I will write about this further on Monday. That's right Penn State, you officially suck. To give you a quick preview, Penn State was a 12 point (or so, I don't remember exactly) favorite, and my instinct said to bet Wilmington. Then I researched Wilmington, and switched to Penn State because UNCW sounded THAT bad.
- Now with 9 minutes to go, it's just 51-43 Gophers. I think they were like a 26 point favorite. This is disappointing. And so is this Ohio State game. Kyle Madsen over Dallas Lauderdale? Why would you make that call, especially against UNC and Ed Davis and Deon Thompson? No Lauderdale is in at least, but if they can avoid playing Madsen the rest of the game, it would be a good move.
- Now 17-11 UNC. P.J. Hill just scored. Barf.
- I just went to get ice and now suddenly it's 26-11 North Carolina. My prediction of Ohio State as a final four sleeper is suddenly looking like my "JP Losman will have a breakout year" call.
- Wow, the Gophers somehow managed to win 76-51, and snacks reminds me that it was a -24.5 spread. WE WIN!
- Wonderbaby is freaking awesome, by the way, thanks for asking. She can now count to four, and she was advanced enough in her gymnastics thing to skip a whole class, and is now tumbling with three year olds. She's 19 months. Suck it, every other baby. And she even likes yard work.
I'm totally winning.
- You want to know something completely bizarre? Do you remember Shane Mack's season in 1994? Absolutely, undoubtedly, an unreal year. He hit .333/.402/.564 with 15 dingers and outstanding defense. He was 7th in both average and slugging that year, just off the top 10 in OBP, and was 8th in OPS.
- With Allen Iverson released by Memphis there seems to be some kind of movement to villify his career. Hogwash, I say. Iverson is without a doubt one of the best players in NBA history. Do you realize the best teammates he ever had were a mostly-washed up Dikembe Mutombo, Aaron McKie, and Eric Snow? He basically took that Sixers team that made the finals there single-handedly. I will grant you that at this stage of his career I can't see a good fit for him. He's clearly not happy taking a backseat to youth (as seen by making his way out of Memphis), and what good, contending team would he fit with (Chicago, maybe?), but make no mistake, this guy was one of the greats. If anybody ever goes on some "selfish" or "not a winner" rant, kindly bunch said person in the neck. If charges are pressed, I'll take the rap.
- Ohio State is depressing me. I'm about two seconds away from switching the NBA (*gasp*).
- Ok, nice try to keep me interested by Larry Drew. He gave a forearm shiver to noted douchebag P.J. Hill and absoultely flattened him on his dumb ass. I'll stick around for a while to see if anything comes of it. I feel like a hockey fan all of a sudden, but far less dumb.
- Far, far, far, far, far, far, far less.
- They just said Justin Watts hit a three. Since I've never heard of him, I'm switching to the NBA. Lakers/Bulls. Bulls ++9.5, OVER 195, and first quarter over 49.5. My Ohio State = Memphis call is just dumb now. Ohio State = Rice is more like it.
- Dear god these NBA guys are terrible, especially Derrick Rose. He can't shoot a jumper for shit, like, T.J. Ford style, and it's like he's too lazy or disinterested to get into the lane. He's on my fantasy team, and I was all like "Dude I have Rose" and "Derrick Rose is on my team, brah" and stuff, but now I'm just ashamed. I almost want to just break the TV so I don't watch any of these games.
- Ugh, these games are depressing. You know what's not depressing though (besides Audrina)? The NBDL draft, which I promised I would get to. So let's look.
- Nevermind for a minute, just got a text from snacks that OSU cut it to 2 with 11 seconds left. That is confirmed. Unreal. How does that happen? Kind of wish I had kept watching now.
- Well that was anti-climactic, and didn't cover the +2 either. Kind of wish I hadn't switched back over.
- Back to the NBDL - first overall pick, Carlos Powell. Second - Donell Taylor. Third - Deron Washington. Huh. this is a lot less fun than expected. I know Powell was either at Texas Tech or South Carolina, and I think Washington played for Arkansas or Mississippi or someone like that, but this is just lame. Let's just pick and choose a few highlights (or lowlights) instead, and go with my favorite pick of each round (they do 8 rounds of this garbage):
1st: Latavious Williams, high school. High school. How do you think that's working out? This is even more inexplicable since the NBA has that one-year in college rule. So did this guy think the NBDL was the path to fame and fortune? Did he sign somewhere but couldn't qualify for whatever reason and decided this was a better back up plan than JuCo? Honestly, I'd look it up but I'm pretty drunk. If you're bored at work - and you know damn well you are right now - you could go ahead and post any relevant info in the comments section below this post. RUNNER UP: JamesOn Curry. I'm 99% sure this guy has NBA experience already with the Bulls. Do they even have rules in this thing?
2nd: Mustafa Shakur, Arizona. Yep, pretty clear there are no rules. This guy was a second rate PG back in what I swear must have been the 90s for Arizona. Actually I just looked it up and he graduated in 2007, so who am I thinking of? Arizona has basically run a bevy of mediocre point guards through that program who get hyped because it's Arizona. They're pretty interchangeable. RUNNER UP: John Bryant, Santa Clara. If I had known Shakur wasn't whoever it is that I thought it is, this guy would be my choice. Being large and uncoordinated gets you riches these days? Actually, I guess Greg Ostertag perfected it. Did you know Mrs. W will see a large, uncoordinated white guy playing on a basketball team and say, "Is that their Ostertag?" True story.
3rd: Chris Lowe, UMASS. Not because it's a bad pick or anything, because Lowe was actually a pretty damn good point guard for the minutemen last year, and him being gone is a big reason why they're a big ball of suck now. The funny part is on the NBDL website they have no link to him. Yet they have links for Kevin Goffney, Sean Barnette, James Cripe, and Cecil Brown - guys I haven't even come close to knowing who they are. I'm not some expert (NOTE: I am), but four dudes I've never heard of get a link and no Chris Lowe? That ain't right. RUNNER UP: All those weirdos.
4th: Jason Richards, Davidson. Just stop. You know what I saw while watching basketball tonight? Gerry McNamara as a grad assistant on Jim Boeheim's bench. And that's awesome. Guess what white point guard guy? You aren't making the NBA. Take a page for G-Mac, and try to become a coach. Go the Jeff Capel route. It works. RUNNER UP: Leemire Goldwire. This is beyond weird.
5th: Shagari Alleyne, Kentucky. Remember when Kentucky, and I think it was Tubby, actually, recruited Alleyne and someone named like Lukasz Orbzut and they were both 7-2 and were going to be all twin tower and such? Nice plan. And this guy is still getting chances based on his height. Not fair, Jeff Hagen, not fair. RUNNER UP: Scooter McFagdon, whose name is funny, whose potential was unlimited, and whose disappointingness is complete. Also want to give a shout out to Joe Darger of UNLV here, whose name is nearly identical to a kid I knew in high school and never fails to make me giggle.
I just want to mention here that I went to go get a couple beers (NOTE: Silos running low) before the bar closed and on the elevator back up some cougar lady asked me "So what are you doing, want to go back down and get a drink?" I demurred. But I want to mention it here anyway.
6th: CJ Anderson, Xavier (via Manhattan). This guy WILL be in the NBA at some point. Maybe it's not for long, maybe it's a cup of coffee, but he will get a shot. You watch, I'm predicting he leads the NBDL in scoring, which I just realized I'm using as a high end compliment. Whatever. This dude is awesome. RUNNER UP: J'Nathan Bullock, somewhere. I know I've heard this name before, because it never fails to make me laugh, but I can't remember why right now. Seriously, why my parents didn't just name me J'Nathan will haunt me to my dying day.
Just realized my flight tomorrow is at 11:20, not 11:00. That's 20 extra minutes of sleep. Time to get more drunker.
7th: Garrison Carr, American. This guy was awesome for them. But was his career more, or less, successful than Tasheed Carr? That's one to think on. RUNNER UP: Rodney Alexander, no clue. I don't know who this is, but that's a hell of an NBA name.
8th: Lawrence McKenzie, Minnesota. You probably know who this is. Hey, whatever works. No doubt he'll grind out a career in Europe making more than I could possibly dream of by playing basketball. I do have a hint for him: look to New Zealand, it seems any mediocre former Gopher can make a nice living over there. Plus, outside the Aborigines, he'd probably be the only black dude over there, and that's got to be an advantage. RUNNER UP: A.J. Ratliff, Indiana. Senior Year = 1.7 pts, 1.3 rebs, 0.6 assists per game. This folks, is the NBDL.
- Lastly I want to close with something snacks sent me since apparently he doesn't do any work. This here from Peter Gammons, the jesus of baseball analysts (sorry Aaron). He mentions that Joe Mauer hit just one infield popup the entire season. Sound ridiculouly hyperbolic? Well, he is wrong. Mauer actually hit two. That means he popped up 1.5% of the time, fourth best in major league baseball (behind ryan howard, derek jeter - puke, and joey votto - stud). I find the fact that we are privy to this info fascinating. Common DWG whipping boy/stud, depending on who you ask, was 9th at 2.1%, pretty good. But I know what you're waiting for, you want to know Twins, don't you you provincial son of a bitch?
Well, I know one guy who is going to enjoy this, but guess who was fifth worst in the majors in popping up?
It was Mike Cuddyer. He popped up 15.5% of the time. That is awful. But let's look at something a little more for just a minute. Let's assume that all fly balls and ground balls at least have a chance at getting the team closer to scoring a run, where popups and strikeouts don't. Cuddy also strikes out 20% of the time. That means that 36% of the time he is at the plate, his results have no chance of doing anything good. That seems high. this feels like the kind of thing I should research further, so somebody remind me because I'm going to bed.
I really hate New jersey.
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