A Christmas Wish

I'm not going to preview the South Dakota State game (Go Jackrabbits!).  I'm just not.  You can't make me.  They are the last in a string of terrible non-conference opponents, they're terrible, and they have nobody worth watching.  Instead, I'm going to do a cliched cheesy christmas wish list.  Hopefully it's not terrible, but if it is, you get what you pay for.

Dear Santa,

Please bring:

Al Nolen the ability to finish at the rim.  I could have gone with jumpshot here as well, but if he can only have one I think adding the threat of being able to score when he consistently blows by his defender is more valuable than an outside shot.  Once the big ten season starts, players aren't going to leave their men for easy dishes - they know things.

Damian Johnson a consistent outside shot.  Remember Travarus Bennett?  Similar player, but he developed into a good perimeter shooter his senior year (as did Eric Harris).  Johnson is improved, but he's not there yet.

Ralph Sampson a mean streak.  He's nearly perfect physically (*swoon*), but it would be nice to see him a little more fired up, maybe knocking around a few people's heads and toss in a technical here or there.  Get pissed Ralphie, you're being disrespected.

Colt Iverson the dream shake.  Although improved, his footwork on the low block can be cringe-worthy at times.  If he adds some moves and be smoother and more fluid, I am starting to think he could be a serious offensive weapon down the line.

Joe Mauer the one team loyalty of Kirby Puckett and Cal Ripken. Come on Joe, you know you want to.  What can money buy you any way outside of happiness, love, and everything you could ever want?

Bill Smith some aggressiveness.  The J.J. Hardy trade is a good start, but there is a lot more work to do here, especially if you want to prove to Jo-Jo that you're serious about winning.  Take a page out of Seattle's book - they have a higher payroll but they maximize it.

Carlos Gomez the drive to excel when he's been disrespected (think Steve Smith).  I'd rather have him do it with the Twins, but he's gone now.  I'd love to see him channel their giving up on him into becoming a great player.

Brad Childress all the mental faculties a head coach needs.  Any of them would do, I'm not sure he has a single one.

Adrian Peterson twenty carries a game.  How is this something we even have to ask for?

Brett Favre the fountain of youth.  Don't you go falling apart on me old man.

Michael Cuddyer the hope that someone takes away Greg Gagne's inability to resist the down and away Slider in the dirt - this would be the White Elephant/Yankee Swap portion of the evening.

Devoe Joseph a brother to play with.

Lawrence Westbrook some focus.  You may be the "#1 option", but this whole team is essentially 1B to  your 1A, and drifting in-and-out of attentiveness on both ends of the court is not an endearing trait.

Delmon Young some plate patience.  I'm not sure what his ceiling is, but I'm confidant we aren't going to see it unless he stops swinging at every pitch he sees.

Devron Bostick a time machine.  If he had chosen St. Louis or Northern Illinois (two others who offered) he would be averaging 15-20 per game.

Blake Hoffarber nothing.  He's perfect.

Baseball some kind of reform.  Watching the Yankees and Red Sox continue to stock pile anything they want is actually starting to leave a bad taste in my mouth, and I know I'm late to the party and have defending the sport over and over again.  The Yankees just picked up Javier Vazquez, who is owed $11.5 million next year, to be their fourth starter.  $11.5 million for a fourth starter!  If he doesn't work out, they just shrug their shoulders and move on, meanwhile that money would be a huge investment for 90% of the other teams.  Frustrating.

Francisco Liriano some kind of miracle cure.  I can't be the only whose heart breaks every time he's on the hill, and not just for me as a fan, but for him as well.  It has to be incredibly frustrating.

Joe Crede the guy who worked on Larry Bird's back towards the end of his career.  Bird couldn't move on non-game days, but when he had to play the dude worked his Miyagi/Kilmer magic and Bird would go mess around and get a triple-double, yet Crede has missed like, 75% of his teams games.



I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting, but unfortunately that's all the time I have.  For now, let me say Merry Christmas (and all other Holidays) from Down with Goldy and Wonderbaby^TM, who really is not a big fan of Santa Claus:

Twins Talk

Since we unfortunately have a night off from college buckets, and at least one reader is clamoring for Twins roster speculation as seen by the bordering on obsessive comment left earlier today, I'll go ahead and take a look at what some of the rumors out there surrounding the Twins this offseason.

In no particular order, other than the order their names jumped into my head.

-  Akinori Iwamura, written about here previously, is no longer an option, seeing as he was traded to Pittsburgh.  It's a bit perplexing, because the Pirates aren't going anywhere any time soon, and they had to trade a young semi-promising middle relief prospect in order to pay him $4 million for one year.  It's also disappointing because that's cheap as hell for his production and I'd be willing to bet the Twins could have gotten him for like, Armando Gabino (who was plucked away by the Orioles off waivers, by the way).  Anyway, it's not happening, so it's time to move on. 

- Lovely reader Kate, who was the first one to turn me on to Iwamura, has indeed moved on, and is "literally drooling" over the thought of Adrian Beltre on the Twins (her words, not mine), and we've made no secret of our Beltre love here at DWG before.  There is a lot that points to this being a possibility, including this article where mlbtraderumors.com predicts Beltre will end up a Twin, and the fact that he is a Type B free agent means the Twins won't have to give up a draft pick to sign him.  The sort of large negative here is that Beltre actually had the Twins on his "no trade clause" list.  Beltre had his worst hitting season as a pro and nearly lost a gonad (that's not a joke), but he's still intriguing and would look awfully nice on the hot corner if he is affordable.  I'd love to see a 2 year/$5 million per, but I have no idea what the market will be.

-  Speaking of the market for 3b, you can go ahead and forget about Chone Figgins, he's going to be the hottest property out there, and there's no chance you're going to see the Twins in a bidding war for him.

-  Hell, as long as we're listing people for you to forget about, let's add John Lackey to the list as well.  Not only is he a type A - meaning if the Twins were to sign him they would have to give up their first round pick next year, something they would never do, but because he's the top pitcher on the market.  That means teams like the Yankees and Red Sox will be after him, and that means that contract will end up being more than the Twins' payroll.  So, sorry PA who continually talks up Lackey to the Twins, get your head out of the clouds (and your ass) - it ain't happening.  No way, no how.

-  One free agent pitcher who does have a shot at winding up here is Rich Harden, an immensely talent yet injury prone pitcher who has only pitched more than 25 games in a season twice in his six years, although one of those was last year.  There's no doubt he would be a huge risk, but there's also no doubt he has the talent to be a front of the rotation starter if he stays healthy.  I wouldn't invest a lot of money or a lot of years, but if they can get him to sign an incentive-laden deal he could end up being a huge steal.

-  As far as other middle infielders go, two names I had heard as possibilities, Marco Scutaro and Placido Polanco, both suddenly got a lot less likely with the announcement that they are both type-A guys.  I'm actually glad that's how it shook out for Scutaro, because although I like his multi-positionalness and knowledge of the strike zone, I can't shake the feeling that he's a utility guy who had a career year.  I am bummed, however, about Polanco, who I was really hoping the Twins would end up signing to a two or three year deal.  This really reduces the odds he ends up here, since I can't see the Twins getting rid of a first round pick to sign a 34-year old for two years.  The rule is meant to help smaller market teams, and it works in a lot of cases, but this time the team getting screwed is the small market.   

-  One guy who was helped by the classification was Mark DeRosa, who, it was thought, would be a type A but ended up a type B, greatley expanding the pool of teams who will be looking at him.  The Twins showed some interest in him last season, and I would guess they take another look at him this winter.  His numbers absolutely plummeted last year after his trade to the National League, and he's 34 years old with just two seasons better than league average in his career, so I'm inclined to pass.

-  Common commenter and former contributor Dawger mentioned that the Twins should look into signing Miguel Tejada.  If you ever wonder why we question his baseball (and all sports, really) acumen, this should be all you need to know.  Actually, that's a bit harsh.  If he can play second base (I don't know the answer to this) and they can get him for a similar deal to the one Crede signed, I guess that would be ok.

-  Turning our attention to pitching, the one interesting thing I read is that the Texas Rangers feel they have a surplus of pitching (seriously, the Rangers) and could be looking to move Brandon McCarthy - yes, the same McCarthy who was a failed prospect with the White Sox, but is now starting to look pretty good for Texas.  I have no idea what the price would be, and I actually need to do a lot more research on this before I decide if I'm excited or not.  For now, color me intrigued with a chance of arousal - just like your mom last time I was at your house. 

-  As far as free agent pitchers go, outside of Harden the only name I've heard connected to the Twins at all is Jarrod Washburn (and Lackey, if you count jackasses who work for KFAN and are less well informed than my dad when it comes to his computer), and the only other name that has perked my interest a tad was J.J. Putz.   Washburn feels like the town strumpet at this point, and has either been with every team or been rumored to be with every team at this point.  I'm having a lot of trouble getting even remotely excited about him (unlike Dawger at wrestling practice) and would need to hear a solid argument from someone else.  Putz, on the other hand, was bought out by the Mets and so would have no compensation issues, and is just two years removed from being a lights-out closer (and was a good set up guy last year).  Again, the market will dictate whether or not the Twins should go after him, but he's worth a look.  I like to compare the Twins' bullpen to God - I have no faith.

-  Lastly, tell me freaking Melvin Mora doesn't feel like exactly like the kind of guy the Twins would sign to play third.  Yuck.

-  That's really all I have for free agents, but if you want to take a look at the guys the Twins have exclusive rights to - Pavano, Cabrera, Redmond, Crede, and Mahay - and really the only interesting guy here is Pavano.  I'd right stuff, but instead just go here to Nick's Twins blog where he writes a whole lot more than I care or have the abililty to about this Pavano dealie.  Under no circumstances should Redmond be resigned, and Mahay is meh.  Cabrera has no place here, yet the papers continue to say he could be signed if he would play second solely because he had a nice 15-game stretch and people desperately want to believe in "clutch" - he's as good as gone.  Crede is the only other possibility I'd entertain resigning.  After yet another year torpedoed by injuries, the market for him is likely to be even lower than last season.  Would he sign here for one year, $1 million?  $2 million?  Seriously, if he would sign for that kind of money he's a no-brainer.  Hell, even 2 years at $2 million per year is probably worth it.

-  The last thing is trades, and if you are seriously contemplating trading Nathan, Morneau, or Mauer (I'm talking to you anonymous poster) you are dumber than Audrina (although not nearly as hot).  None of them should be traded (and I assume the Mauer part is shtick) unless somebody comes up to Billy Smith and seriously blows his skirt up with an offer.  Although imagine the offer they could get for Mauer.  What if the Rangers offered Neftali Feliz, Justin Smoak, Elvis Andrus, Taylor Teagarden, and Brandon McCarthy?  Seriously.  You would have to take that.  But that's the kind of thing I'm talking about.  Other than that, you shouldn't trade any of those three, unless you can somehow get Joakim Soria in some way.

-  The very last thing I'll say, is that the Brewers tried to get either Adam Lind or Travis Snider from the Blue Jays or Clay Buchholz from the Red Sox for J.J. Hardy before settling for Carlos Gomez.  Wow.  That is like trying to get with Lindsay Lohan circa 2004 and ending with this recent trainwrecky and not in a good way version.  Also, as I close this post, that reminds me that I mentioned Audrina somewhere up above and as such, this must now happen:

That was her when we left the bar the other night.  You all have a nice day.

Yuck.

Sigh. In New Jersey, once again, for three nights this time and before you ask - "Yes, it sucks." Even worse is that instead of being out here for stupid training I don't need or boring meetings that I'm bored of before I even arrive, I'm out here for a pretty important meeting that I play a pretty large role in. So, drinking will have to be in moderation. Well, until Wednesday night, when the only thing going on Thursday is a flight home - then all bets are off. I'm still bored, and I still have opinions, so I'll be blogging, just don't expect it to be funny or entertaining in any way.

- I'm coming to you live from the bar at the Princeton Marriott, thanks to the wonderful technology that is the Verizon Internet Card, which gives me the slowest internet connection imaginable, but I can get wireless pretty much anywhere, so at least that's something. Of course, no travel-related post would be complete without the story of some idiot, and today's idiot was sitting across the aisle from me on the plane. He is what I like to call, "A Know-It-All." Spent at least half of the flight badgering this poor old woman with facts and opinions about everything and everything, until I though she actually slumped over and died. Turns out she just went to sleep, since she was fine when we landed, but I wouldn't have blamed her for just giving up the ghost. Some gems:
* "I don't understand why these people bring these bags that are too big or bags that are so small. It's not that hard to just buy the biggest bag that will fit in any overhead compartment. That's what I have. I did my research. These people are just ridiculous"
* "I can't believe Northwest agreed to merge with Delta. Just a horrible decision. Here's what I would have done..(blah blah blah). It would have worked too, and they'd still have their airline.
* "No, this isn't a boeing. It's not a (some other name) either. It's actually a (some name). What this plane offers that most others don't is (something something)."
* "My daughter is very well known in figure skating circles. Yeah, she does synchronized figure skating, where all the skaters have to do the same moves at the same time. She's very good." (I can't believe this is a real thing.)
* "Yeah, my boys and I watched a religious video last night about this professor who talks about how evolution is so wrong and it's a huge mistake to believe it. He had a lot of facts and some really compelling points." (That's my favorite. If this guy had lots of compelling facts, I'd really love to hear them, since they don't exist. Always nice to go to an unbiased source like a religious video to get the whole story. I guarantee this guy believes the earth is 6,000 years old. This stuff really makes my blood boil."

- Since I'm in New Jersey and it thinks it's New York, I had a chance to watch Justin Verlander of Detroit throw against the Yankees tonight. Let me tell you, I'm worried for the Twins. The guy looked like the Verlander of 2006-2007 than last year's version. He's been awful this season (came into the game with an ERA of 9.00) but that's not what I saw tonight. Tonight he went 7 innings, giving up seven hits but no runs and striking out nine, and was never in serious danger of giving up a run. Not really sure what has been happening with him, but he was blowing guys away with the heater tonight. Could just be a blip, could mean he's figuring it out again. You've been warned.

- Great line from a Simpsons I watched before dinner.
HOMER: I have to go to work
MARGE: It's 4pm. And it's Saturday.
HOMER: I have to count the atoms at the power plant. Conservation of Mass you know, it's the law.
You kind of have to be a major dork to get it, but if you get it, it's pretty good.

- How bad has the Twins rotation been this year? Oof. And Baker's getting knocked around here again. All that hype about how great this young rotation is going to be, instead they run out there and get firebombed like a stereo store during the Watts riots. And just when Slowey steps up and shows how good he can be with a near-shutout, this season's defacto ace so far, Mr. Perkins, remembers he's not supposed to be that good. It's pretty clearly a shitbarn of a division again this year, and 85 wins or so will probably get it done, but the Twins clearly aren't going to outscore teams very often, so the pitchers have got to get it figured out, and quick. Yes, yes, they're still just a couple games back and the baby jesus hasn't played yet. Great. Optimism abounds.

- Speaking of shitty pitchers, I love how Chien-Ming Wang was put on the DL with "weakness in his hip" after getting shelled for a 34.50 ERA in his three starts. I don't think you're fooling anybody. It's that god damn political correctness. If Wang was a cracker, he'd be getting torn to shreds by fans, media, teammates, bloggers, and anybody with a pulse. But because he's a foreigner, everyone backs off and decides to say he's injured. And with Chan Ho Park, Hideo Nomo, and Byung-Hung Kim all flaming out as well, I think we should just round up all the foreigners in MLB and make them play in their own league and they can work harder at getting better. We could lock them up year round too, while we're at it, so they can work all year. It could be like some kind of camp. A camp for concentration or something.

- Speaking of concentrating, have you checked out Jason "The Man-Beast" Kubel? Let's see, he leads the team in average, slugging, OPS, home runs, doubles, triples, total bases, and runs batted in, and is second in runs scored and on-base percentage. Hm. There's been a curious lack of the Kubel bashing that was so prevalent here last year. Just more proof that you should always listen to me.

- Still on the Twins. Although Joe Crede has been mostly unsuccessful hitting the ball to places where he won't get out, hitting under .200 right now, there has been one very pleasant surprise, and that's in his plate patience. One of the main knocks on getting Crede was his low OBP and walk rate. After posting a career walk rate of 5.9% (walks/plate appearances), he has it up to 12.6% this year and tied for the team lead in walks with 8 so far. That takes his unappetizing average and brings it to a still ugly but slightly more respectable .306 OBP. That's about what Gomez's OBP would be if he hit .300, not very good, but it makes his poor average more tolerable. Hopefully he can keep it up, and also pull his strikout rate down, which is at once per every four at-bats, a career worst and almost double his lifetime average. Still way better than putting Buscher over there every day.

- I went to a whole bunch of garage sales in my parents' neighborhood this weekend, and amongst the creepy, dirty white trash clothes, the suspiciously brand new clothes with retail store price tags still on them, broken lawn equipment, crappy romance novels, and discarded children's toys, I found a real gem: The 1993 Sports Illustrated Almanac. This would be the part where I would regale you with facts you don't remember and players you had forgotten, but it's been two days and I already lost the damn thing.

- I know people who read things that other people write like to know more about them, and since you all know so much about me already, I thought I'd let you know that our main hockey guy here, Snake's favorite book is called "On the Wings of a North Wind." It appears to be about birds, and I'm not kidding, it's his favorite book. You know what book I would rather read than that? All of them. Any single one. If nothing else Snake, you're consistent. If you're into that kind of thing, and are a redneck hunter (sorry FishingMN), you can pick it up from that link at just $5.49 for a used copy. I'm already thinking about it.

- Since I have a big day tomorrow, I'm going to call it here. I'm sure I'll be back tomorrow.

Welcome to the Team, Stud (aka OMG OMG OMG OMG)

According to my mom and nobody else, the Twins have signed Joe Crede for less than the $7 million he was asking for initially. I can't find a damn thing online right now, and there was nothing on channel 4 news, but she swears channel 11 reported that Crede is on his way here and has officially signed. On a related note, I'm sitting at home watching channel 4 news on a Friday night. Just kill me.

[EDIT: Found a link. No real details. But it's still awesome. Just like how I'm awesome for reporting this before that damnable Aaron Gleeman.]

[EDIT: After thinking about it for about five minutes, I've decided not only to purchase a Joe Crede jersey, but also buy season tickets. Home AND away.]

[EDIT: Finally watching Wednesday's Lost episode. HOLY SHIT!]

[EDIT: I bought some crazy irish vodka tonight because it was on crazy, Walmart-like sale. I figured the Irish like booze, and for some reason I associate potatoes with Ireland, so we should be good to go. Turns out, now I remember, that the reason you associate potatoes with Ireland is because of the "Great Potatoe Famine" and so they don't much have them anymore. Still good Vodka though, but that scared me for a bit.]

[EDIT: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist was a good movie. City of Ember, not so much. Too weird, even for me. And with little to no backstory, damn thing was impossible to get in to.]

[EDIT: Shooter Hunt is a sweet name]

Sure, why not sign Crede

I am ambivalent when it comes to the Twins signing Joe Crede. W seems fired up about it though and it would be nice to know that Bill Smith didn't spend the off-season ice fishing at McHale's cabin up north. I decided to look at some numbers and despite often being wrong, I figured why the hell not, let's type.

Powered by New Belgium beer, not some pansy vodka/cran...

Here are six reasons why it is a good idea to sign Crede:

1. Sideburns. He'll fit right in.
2. The Twins are under budget, so who gives an F if they overspend on a one-year deal for a small improvement.
3. It'll shut fans up for a little bit.
4. He's a different kind of hitter than pretty much everyone else in the lineup.
5. His .460 SLG would have been third on the 2008 Twins and 55 points higher than the top RH hitter, Delmon-strocity.
6. No more Buscher defense at 3B.

But here are six reasons to temper the excitement

1. The dude hits into a lot of outs--his best on-base percentage from the last four years is worse than all 2008 Twins regulars other than Carlos Gomez
2. He has back problems and has played 144 games over the last two seasons.
3. Even though it was only 47 games, his 2007 season counts and it was awful.
4. This is his age 31 season, he's going to have a hard time matching last year's numbers
5. The Harris/Buscher platoon isn't a bad option and could put up .360 OBP/.440 SLG/ .800 OPS. Crede's OPS has been over .800 once in the last four years.
6. You might still have to platoon with Crede; oddly, he has sucked against LHP the last 3 years.


Fans and media are clamoring for Crede, but I just don't see him as a difference maker. He's not going to hurt the team's chances, though, and that's more than you can about most recent Twins free agent signings. Spending $7mil or so on a one-year deal isn't going to hurt the team's finances, so why not go for it and sign a someone-significant free agent for a change.

Besides, if all goes well with Danny Valencia at AA/AAA this year--not that he's going to be a star or anything, but he looks solid so far--the 2009 3B is likely just keeping the spot warm.

Quick Hitters

A few quick notes

1. The college KG, JaJuan Johnson of Purdue, is freaking awesome. I have a feeling I would be writing him up in the who was awesome section of the weekend review, but I'm heading to Utah for the week and likely won't have a computer and even less access to sports and internet since I'll have to spend most of my time with Mrs. W's insane family so I probably won't get to a weekend review. Anyway, that dude is definitely the next Hakim Warrick who was the next Kevin Garnett, and he lit up the Buckeyes tonight for a career high 30 points on 10-16 shooting in their overtime loss (sans Hummel). One of the most impressive things, and they pointed this out on the ESPN broadcast too, is that when he gets the ball in the paint he doesn't dribble like so many other big guys do, giving the double-team extra time to get there - and his very nice turnaround jumper too, of course. He can still disappear at times, which is partially his teammates' fault, but look out for this kid the next two years.

2. Hey Lady at the Gym (yes, I joined a gym), are you seriously going to sit there on the Elliptical machine and have a ten minute conversation on your cell phone? And then, five minutes later, make another call and have another ten minute conversation? I don't even know where to begin. Who brings a cellphone with them into the gym? Unless you're the go to surgeon for the president or Sam Jacobson's pot dealer his senior year, you can go 30 minutes unattached from your cellular telephone device. Not to mention that having a ten minute conversation in close quarters with other people should be grounds for a beat down. Hey, jackasses around the world, if you need to talk on the phone for more than 30 seconds, LEAVE THE GOD DAMNED ROOM. This goes for personal or professional, in public or even in your own home. It's just good manners. And lastly, if you're on the phone 20 of your 25 minutes on a machine, you probably should just give up, stay home, watch the Biggest Loser and eat bon-bons. And you're ugly.

3. If the Twins trade Delmon Young for Jarrod Washburn I quit. I will absolutely quit. I will never go to another game, I will never watch another game, I will never read about another game. I will burn my Twins hat (but I'll keep my Jason Kubel shirt). I will start a blog called billsmithisastupidjerkfaceloser.com. Why would you give up on Delmon Young already? I mean, I get why, actually, but to trade him for Washburn? If you're going to give up and trade him, get something of more value come back, but Washburn? He'll be 35 this year. He hasn't had a WHIP under 1.26 since 2002, and last year topped out at 1.46, a career worst and equal to Boof Bonser's numbers last year. His K rate is down, his walk rate is up, and he's a flyball pitcher who'd be throwing in the Metrodome. He has articles written about him called, "Is Washburn Washed Up?" Honest to god, if they trade Delmon Young for him, I'm done.

4. Speaking of the Twins, please just sign Joe Crede already. Give him something like $4-$5 million with another half mil in incentives for a year. If it doesn't work out, you're just out the $5 million, no big whoop. If it does, you'll lose him but maybe Luke Hughes will be ready the next season or another option will present itself. Third base needs to be upgraded, and time is running out.

5. UCONN stomped an awesome Louisville team in Louisville. I think they're my new pick to win the whole shebang.

6. Lastly, I just want to say that Wonderbaby can now give high fives on demand, and also, for the first time today, was able to put a ball in a hoop (not an actual hoop, but a hooped shape container - shut up, still counts)