Sue Come to Mariucci

The puck drops on Gopher Sioux weekend tomorrow night at 7 PM. By the end of this weekend the Gophers will either have a prayer of home ice in the WCHA Playoffs or be dead and buried. This weekend could also determine Don Lucia's future behind the bench. With a solid weekend against our #1 rival Lucia could remove some of the heat he is taking from fans. If the Gophers get run off the ice the fans will be chasing Lucia out the door.

Since WWWWW steals all his ideas from other people, sources and sites, I have decided to do the same. I am stealing WWWWWW's “five things about the game" idea. Here are my top five things to watch for this weekend.

1) Gophers attack or lack of attack- If the Gophers are going to win a game or two this weekend they have to score 3 to 4 goals each night. That won't be an easy task because they struggle to score 3 goals vs. crap teams like Tech, Harvard and Bowling Green. To make matters worse, North Dakota is one of the top defensive units in the country. UND goalie, Brad Eidsness, is a good goalie but not great. If the Gophers settle on shots from the blue line all weekend Eidsness can sleep his way through the series. The top line for MN (Schroeder, Cepis and hopefully not white) need to chip in some even strength goals this weekend. Schroeder needs to start producing instead of counting the days until he turns pro. If he gets shut down like he did back in October the Gophers are in big trouble. I am just hoping here, but consistent production from one of the bottom three lines would also be nice. This all equals bad news for the Gophers.


Did you know the telephone pole is North Dakota's state tree?

2) Power Play- The Gophers power play has been brutal all season. Its like watching the gophers basketball team in a half court set. Part of the issue is the talent level placed on the top unit. There is no reason why MN's top unit isn't made up of Hoeffel, Schroeder, Cepis, Ness and Fairchild. They can do what ever they want with the 2nd unit, but I will cut myself if I see Tony Lucia or Jake Hansen logging major power play minutes this weekend. The Gophers should get plenty of PP chances this weekend, especially on Friday. North Dakota will try and knock the Gophers around early on Friday to set the tempo. As long as players like Flynn don't draw stupid retaliation penalties the Gophers should get some early chances. They need a minimum of three PP goals this weekend.


What has 24 teeth and breathes with it's mouth open? The front row of a UND hockey game!

3) Tony Lucia- Before you fall off your chair laughing, hear me out on this one. Lucia is the one player who seems to get under the skin of North Dakota. His game is suited for this series because he will throw his weight around, can play shut down hockey and he likes to run his mouth. He also has some history with North Dakota. Tony piss pounded Kaip (I think that was who he fought) after a Saturday game two years ago. Last year he baited Green into jumping him in the face off circle. Lucia skated away and left Green looking like a complete retard as the refs pulled him to the penalty box. although nothing really happened up in North Dakota earlier this year, the hot rumor was the Sioux wanted a piece of Lucia. If Tony can be a pest all weekend he could draw lots of attention and plenty of penalties.


Why does the wind blow so hard in North Dakota? Because it also can't wait to leave the state.

4) Goaltending- Alex Kangas needs to be a savior this weekend. If he gives up a goal it needs to be a good goal. Enough of the fluff goals. Kangas also needs to make a couple saves he has no business making. I can’t remember the last highlight reel save he has made. Eidsness is not known for gift wrapping goals so the Gophers can’t be giving away any free ones. I would give Wonder Baby to a band of North Dakota gypsies to see the Kangas of 2008 return this weekend. -Side note- You can add goalie handling and lack of goalie development to my list of MN coaching complaints.

Fact- In North Dakota it is still legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon. "That explains the logo."

5) Heart- Just play 120 minutes of solid hockey this weekend and I will not be completely miserable. Honestly, our #1 rival is coming to town. People are openly questioning the players heart. The coach is getting hammered by fans and media. This is the perfect storm to rally the troops and play inspired hockey. If they can’t do it this weekend lets board up the arena for the rest of the season because it is over. God Damn this team pisses me off!

Why are date rape numbers so low in North Dakota? Livestock can't talk!

My Predictions- Sioux win 5-2 on Friday and Gophers win 3-2 on Saturday. Also, Chicks with guns are hot!

Gopher Hockey....Its Not Very Good

It is Gopher vs. Sioux week. WWWWW has been emailing me on a regular basis to write about hockey and I figured this would be a good week to post. I will be taking in Fridays game live from Mariucci. A gopher vs. Sioux preview will follow later this week. Right now I am going to write/vent about the state of America’s favorite hockey team.

The Gophers head into this weekend with no momentum, no heart and no future for this season. There are plenty of Gopher puck apologist who keep sighting the team has won 6 of 7 heading into this weekend. I guess that means things have turned around and the program is once again heading in the right direction. Wrong! What those apologists don’t point out is the teams the Gophers have beat are the bottom feeders of D1 hockey. If the gophers have really turned the corner they would sweep a very average Sioux team this week or take 3 pts. I am not holding my breath.

Lets recap how bad things are at 4 Oak Street this season. Goldy’s only quality wins this season are against middle of the road Michigan St. and Wisconsin teams. The season has seen the team get swept at home vs. Denver (shutout both games) and Duluth, and drop home games to Bemidji, Mankato and Northern Michigan. The team also had another player leave in the middle of the season. Sophomore Sam Lofquist decided to call it a career after being benched during the Wisconsin series. Lofquist is another soft teat who played with no heart and is a huge snatch for quitting after a little adversity. I will defend his decision based on the fact he was benched in favor of Brian Schack (sorry Todd). How in the hell do you bench a kid for Schack? The Gophers also lost their top goal scoring threat, Jay Barriball, for the season thanks to a knee injury. The only good news from the injury is Barriball accepted a medical red shirt and plans to play next year.

On top of the terrible results this season the on ice product is completely unwatchable. At times this team is like watching an MLS soccer game on ice, but less scoring. Some might chalk the scoring issues up to poor talent, but I still argue talent is not the issue. The front line is loaded with kids who have scored goals their entire careers and came into the program highly rated. Once they arrive at the MN they all turn into 3rd and 4th line players? The blue line is also full of high NHL draft picks that are known for being creative puck movers. The combination should add up to fun hockey, a great power play and lots of goals. The issue isn’t talent, but development and use of said talent. This issue falls squarely on the shoulders of the coaching staff.

The main issues I see with the coaching staff are poor assistant coaches (a.k.a. John Hill), no player development, recruiting the wrong style of player, catering to 17 year old kids who have no heart, a poor locker room, and the system hockey they now play. All of these items fall squarely on the shoulders of the head coach.

Things started going down hill when Bob Motzko left the Gophers for St. Cloud. Since Motzko’s departure the high end individual talent up front stopped coming to MN. The next year Mike Guentzel was removed from the program. When Guentzel left so did all the grit and passion on the bench. We are now left with an unqualified Grant Potulny and John Hill. I do think Potulny will develop into a good coach. I just don’t think he is ready for the gopher’s bench.

John Hill on the other hand is a complete F’ing tit. The best compliment I hear about Hill is he’s a nice guy. In the coaching business there is nothing worse than "being a nice guy" as your best quality as a coach. Hill comes off as easily confused and not very inspirational. Nothing proved this point more than the look of confusion and terror on his face when he filled in as head coach at UND last year. His interviews during intermissions should be grounds enough for firing. I can’t imagine showing up to practice and having to look at and listen to this roly poly son of a bitch. Hill must go.

Two years ago we/I pounded Kyle Okposo, and his ginger hair, for leaving the team in the middle of the season. The more I think about it, the more I feel like I should apologize to Okposo. Okposo was smart enough to realize he wasn’t getting what he needed from Gophers and was actually going backwards in his development. He was bright enough and brave enough to get out before he got stuck in a rut like the rest of the current roster. Bear pointed this out to me during an email exchange late last week and I don’t think Bear has ever spoken a truer word in his life (other than when he called Dawger the worst Yahtzee player of all time). The reason players are leaving and not happy, is the lack of development. The coaching staff is chasing results by playing system hockey and not letting gets skate and develop. I am just surprised they continue to get top end talent while playing this style of puck.

The gophers have also shot themselves in the foot with their recruiting the past couple of years. Not only are the gophers taking more kids right out of high school, but they are now taking players who accelerator their high school studies so they can play college hockey as seniors in high school. The main reason this has failed is these players aren’t concerned about coming to MN and winning a national championship. They are coming to MN to improve as an individual player and move onto the pros. This leaves you with a team full of kids who only play for themselves, which leads to a split locker room, which leads to a garbage team. It also seems like the coaches cater to these players which has pissed off the older players on the team. This was a huge issue with the Phil Kessel/ Holy Cross team.

I am not about to call Lucia a bad coach. Obviously he has had great success as a college coach and turned MN into the premier hockey program in the country from 2000-2005. He also gave me the greatest gift of my life (that includes my two kids) when he led MN to the 2002 national championship. Since that time things have slowly deteriorated to the point we are at today. Which is why I think it is time for a fresh start and Lucia to move on.

I have been saying this for a couple years now, but it is time to bring in Dean Blais. He is a Gopher guy, which will make all the idiot booster who worry about that silly shit, happy. He wins every place he goes, he develops talent, and he will recruit kids with heart and won’t take any shit from prima donnas or their parents. Hiring Dean Blais will also fire up a fan base which is in a rut right now. Dean just led the USA U-20 team to a world championship victory over Canada so his hiring would give an instant jolt to the fans and program. Hopefully Maturi has the seeds to make it happen.

At least North Dakota sucks so I am able to enjoy that portion of this college hockey season.

Snacks here is a picture for you. I know you missed them you sick bastard.

WCHA Awards and Playoff Preview

The WCHA regular season ended last weekend. Some how the Gophers managed to finish in the top half of the league which really proves how mediocre the WCHA was this year. UND won the regular season title while still managing to suck, amazing! Here are the annual DWG WCHA Awards and a preview of the WCHA playoffs. Sadly Brian Schack did not make All Conference.

WCHA First Team

F- Ryan Stoa (UMN)- Leading scorer in conference play. Will be playing in the NHL next season.
F- Ryan Lasch (SCSU)- Natural goal scorer who once again is one of the top scoring forwards in the country.
F- Ryan Duncan (UND)- This pains me to write because this kid is one of the most overrated players to ever skate in the WCHA. He has had a solid season for the team that won the league.
D- Jamie McBain (UW)- Top player on the Wisco. Probably 1st team All American. Great player.
D- Patrick Wiercioch(DU)- Several players could end up here but this Frosh has been fantastic all season. 2nd best rookie in the league.
G- Mark Cheverie (DU)- Number 1 or 2 in nearly every statistical category in the league. Alex Stalock from UMD would have been here if it wasn’t for his last two weeks. Talk about a case of the Albany’s.

All Frosh Team

F- Jordan Schroeder (UMN)- 2nd leading scorer in the conference and led the league in assists. Will most likely be picked as national frosh of the year be all the media outlets. Great player. Hopefully he sticks around for another season. Will be a top 5 pick this summer.
F- Jason Gregoire (UND)- Scored some big goals for UND this season. Will be a force the next 2 or 3 years.
F- Joe Colborne (DU)- Really started to come on the 2nd half of the season. Will be a monster if he plays another year of college. 1st round draft pick by Boston.
D- Patrick Wiercioch- If it wasn’t for Schroeder he would be frosh of the year.
D- Aaron Ness (UMN)- Much like the all conference team, the second D spot could go to several players. Ness had a good second half of the season and looks to be a stud in the future. Coaches also tend to give the awards to highly touted players. Plus he plays for the Gophers.
G- Brad Eidness (UND)- Also has a crack and making one of the all conference teams. Good young goalie who will only get better in the next couple years.

Conference MVP- Ryan Stoa- I could see several other players winning this award, but there is really no clear cut favorite. Stoa led the league in goals and pts while playing for an average team. I also want to give it to a gopher!

ROY- Jordan Schroeder- Lived up to the hype from day 1. His stats would have been better if Barriball could put the puck in the net.

Coach of the Year- Dave Hakstol- This pains me more than putting Duncan on the all conference team. You can’t deny the success this twat has had. You also can’t deny the fact that classless Dave wins games. UND still sucks and their logo should be changed to a honkie with a white sheet over his head. F’ing racisits!

WCHA Playoffs

#1 North Dakota vs #10 Michigan Tech- Michigan Tech is really bad and really boring to watch. This will most likely be a low scoring series but UND should sweep. UND does have a history of giving away a game in the playoffs but I wouldn’t count on it. UND wins 3-1 and 4-1 for a 2-0 sweep.

#2 Denver vs #9 Alaska- I have heard some people say they feel bad for Denver because they have to play Alaska this weekend. Those people are idiots. Yes, Alaska is better this season. That isn’t saying much. There is also chatter about Denver getting Bozak back this weekend which will really help him during the playoffs. Denver wins 3-2 and 4-2 for the sweep.

#3 Wisconsin vs #8 Mankato- Not sure what to expect in this series. Mankato has been playing really good hockey lately while Wisconsin has kind of gone in the tank. Because Wisconsin stole Mankato’s NCAA bid last year I am going with the revenge factor and picking the Mavericks. Mankato wins 3-2 Friday, Wisco wins 3-2 Saturday and Mankato wins 2-1 Sunday.....book it.

#4 CC vs #7 UMD— UMD couldn’t have got a better match up for the first round. After completely crapping down their leg the past two weekends they have dropped from a top 5 WCHA team looking to make the NCAA’s to this. The one thing they have going for them is CC is the most peace loving arena and team in the WCHA. You will be able to count the number of checks CC throws this weekend on your hands. Both teams have goalies that could potentially be red hot and steal the series. Although all signs are Stalock is in the toilet worse than WWWWWW’s life. CC wins in 3. UMD wins 3-2 Friday, CC 4-1 Saturday and CC 4-2 Sunday.

#5 Gophers vs #6 St. Cloud- Even though the Gophers are 4-0-0 vs St.Cloud this season I am worried. There is no possible way a team can get owned by this version of Gopher hockey. All St. Cloud has to do is sell the farm to shut down the Gophers top line and MN will score maybe 1 goal all weekend. You also have to factor in Kangas to this mess. He hit an all time low last Friday but did bounce back and pitch a shut out on Saturday. Which Kangas shows up this weekend will determine the series. If Jesus returns the Gophers win in two games. If Kangas 2009 shows up St. Cloud wins in 3. Gophers win 4-2 Friday, St. Cloud wins 3-2 on Saturday and who the hell knows on Sunday. I will pick the Gophers just because.

That will give us a final Five of UND, Denver, Mankato, Colorado College and MN. The only teams that should be allowed to play are UND and Denver. Vegas Tip of The Week= Denver wins the Final 5!

I have to go shower after putting Duncan and Hakstol on my awards list.

Plunger may be needed. Sioux are a huge turd.

After washing out my own mouth with soup as a result of the previous post, I figured that one needed to move down the line.

Let me some up the Fighting Sioux's season for you by highlighting a few points.

Summary:
1. Open season against Boston University and get killed 1-5.
2. Proceed to get owned by lowly Minnesotat State Mankato and give up a natural hat trick in the process.
3. Lose the series to Duluth.
4. Inexplicably lose to Cornel the night after posting a 7-3 win.
5. Get swept in a holiday invitational.


Next steps:
1. Place season directly into toilet.
2. Flush.

3. Get swept by the Gophers at home.

First of all, could UND be any more blatently racist? You tell me. This weekend's series up in Grand Forks is a scheduled "White out". You don't exactly have to read between the lines, that is if Sioux fans could read for starters. Was it necessary to schedule that? I thought that was a taboo thing up there that didn't need mentioning every weekend but whatever.

I fully expect that both of this weekends games will be close. There will be plenty of passionate play from the Gophers this weekend. Other than the simple fact that the Gophers love to make the Sioux their bitch a few times a year I think there a couple of other story lines.

First off is the mystery illness of coach Don Lucia. He will be sidelined as a result and assistant coach John Hill will run things from the bench. I can't imagine that there are any players on this Gopher team that feel like letting down their coach down while he is out. No one knows if the guy has twenty days or twenty years to live. The fact that he is out says that it must be something fairly major.

This weekends matchup will be extremely chippy right from the first face-off. I expect plenty of physical play and a ton of penalty minutes. Let's face it. This is biggest rivalry in college hockey, period. These two teams have faced off against each other more than any other matchup in the history of college hockey. The Gophers have had a more effective power play and penalty kill than the Sioux have thus far through the season.

Our defensemen sometimes get a bit too offensive minded on the power play as well as 5 on 5 so it will be key that they stay tight on the blue line and not let anyone in behind them. Other than that our defense should be complete shut-down.

Things are looking up on the offensive side of things. We will be getting a few of our goal scorers back this weekend from injury and from the world junior champships. This includes frosh stud Jordan Schroeder who had good numbers in that tournament. I see him picking up his play for the gophers after gaining some extra confidence in his game while abroad.

Gophers sweep. Dave Hakstol puts his middle finger where it belongs, most likely Super Sioux fan's butt. Sioux fans, feel free to shut dirty whorish mouths.

UND Eats Shit Sandwiches

Its Gopher vs. Sioux weekend so I thought this would be a good time to revive this blog with some sports chatter people actually care about. Both games this weekend will be played in Hitler’s palace (Engelstad Arena) up in lovely Grand Forks, ND. The Gophers enter the weekend ranked #3 in the country with a 10-3-5 record. UND is crawling into the weekend with a 11-10-1 record.

We have been told for years now that UND doesn’t care about the first half of the regular season. That is a good way for UND fans to try and justify a home loss to Alaska and getting 1 pt up in Duluth. The issue with that excuse this year is Coach Hakstol finally has a roster made up of players from his recruiting classes. This means no more high end talent and no second half surge in the standings. This also explains UND starting the second half getting swept at the GL Invite by Michigan St and Michigan Tech “wha-wha-whaaaaa” before rallying for two 4-3 (including OT win at Home) victories over powerful Bemidji State. It has got so bad at UND this year that their Super Fans are calling for Hakstol’s head.

UND is led in scoring this year by Chay Genoway and something called Brad Miller (not the NBA player). Chay Genoway is a very good Offensive defenseman while Brad Miller is, well, Brad Miller. UND also has Ryan Duncan back for his senior season. If you forgot Ryan Duncan stole the Hoby Baker Award from John Toews two years ago. Since winning the award Duncan has become arguably the worst Hoby Baker Award winner in the history of the award. Duncan will now be forever linked to Gino Torretta as the worst major college award winners in the history of college awards. I have a sneaky suspicion the Dawger is secretly a Duncan fan. How else can you explain his complete lack of production.

I do like UND’s frosh goalie Brad Eidness. He is having a bit of a rough year, but guys like Kangas only come every 2008 years. You can’t expect a human frosh goalie to hold up a team, especially a very average team like UND.

I should also mention players Chris Vandevelde and Joe Finley but both players suck and I am tired of talking about UND. Plus the only time anyone will notice Finley is when he cheap shots someone after the whistle or in the handshake line. You might also notice him if an actual fight breaks out. Finley will be the 6-7 blur leaving the screen once the gloves actually drop. Finley is the undisputed king of pussy’s when it comes to fighting. What do you expect, he is from Edina.

The last thing I have to get off my chest is Mario Lamoureux’s name. Mario’s dad needs to be drug outside and have his ass kicked. Not only did he raise his older son to be a complete twat but he tried getting cute with his kids name so it sounds like Mario Lemiuex. An ass kicking is definitely in order here.

Here is a picture of some real women. I am sick of the dirty rags WWWWW keeps giving us.


The Gophers will be led this weekend be our lord and savior Alex Kangas. Alex is undefeated in Englestad Arena and will most likely stay that way after this weekend. Alex’s numbers haven’t been quite as heavenly as last spring but who can complain with a .921 Save% and 2.19 GAA when a player hasn’t been completely on his game. Plus Alex has been busy dealing with everyone’s prayers and other crap god has to deal with.

The Gophers will be in Grand Forks this weekend without their head coach Don Lucia who is suffering from some unknown illness. Coach Lucia has to take some more medical tests on Friday of this week and doctors should know what is effecting him at that time. Plus Lucia figures his team can play without a head coach since UND is basically playing without one also. Rumor has it Lucia also hates the smell of Grand Forks and is looking for any excuse to stay away from stench of sugar beet factories.

The Gophers will finally have their entire roster back. Jay Barriball and Mike Carman are back from injury and Hoeffel, Fairchild and Schroeder are back from the world Jr. Tournament. The only player not available is Taylor Matson. Matson is out the rest of the year with a torn ACL. Did you know Dawger pronounced Matson his favorite player back in October and two weeks later he tore his ACL. I am not kidding. The Dawger curse is for real.

The biggest key for the Gophers this weekend will be the play of their top line. Jordan Schroeder is back which will get Ryan Stoa back on the wing. Stoa has got to start scoring goals again. Jay Barriball also has to find a way to tip in the pesky open net goals he constantly misses. Barriball should honestly have 12 goals this season. Barriball’s shite shooting is also costing Schroeder any chance of being All-American. Patricia White also needs to play on the third line and stay away from either power play unit. This kid has the heart of an interior decorator.

Next, the Gophers have to limit dumb mistakes by their D. Last weekend they gave up way to many 2-1’s by jumping deep into the offensive zone. Fairchild and Fischer should be allowed to make rushes up the ice but the rest of them need to stay put. Especially Wehrs. Ness can get involved on the Power play but he needs to stay home on 5 v 5. He caused way to many odd man rushes last weekend. Plus Ness shoots like a High School JV player. Dawger also continues to talk about Ness being his “Next Guy” but for the benefit of the program I won’t let it happen. Ness has to much talent for Dawger to flush his career down the toilet.

The Todd, rumor has it Schack will be playing this weekend so get your game worn #27 jersey out of the closet.

This is the first weekend in years that the Gophers should enter a weekend with UND and expect to win both games. The Gophers own Engelstad Arena to the tune of a 7-4-0 lifetime record in that dump. The Gophers are very good and the Sioux are down this year. The Gophers have high end talent and the Sioux average talent. The Gophers have the top special teams unit in the nation and the Sioux are average at best in special teams. All this adds up to a split. Gophers win 4-2 on Friday and lose 3-2 on Saturday . Either way UND still sucks .

Did you know Dawger has extremely small nipples? I just found that out yesterday and for some reason it fascinates me.

The Real DWG WCHA Preview

The above photo was taken of Joe Finley as he prepares for the upcoming WCHA season. Fag!!!

- Just for the record there was no delegation of a hockey preview to Moma Dawger. She felt sorry for how pathetic DWG has become and thought she could save the blog from dying. For some reason she also thought people would be interested in reading about the greatest choke job of a program in the last decade of NCAA hockey? Moma D, I could have summed up your Sioux preview in a lot less (and more organized) words. "UND will sucks until January, win a bunch of games to possibly get home ice in the WCHA tournament, Hakstol will get a case of the Albany’s and shit all down his leg in the NCAA tournament and the season ends again without hanging any banners. UND still has the nicest arena in the world though!

WWWWWW, One normally writes a preview the week that the season begins. That would be this week for the Gophers so settle your horses before I send Dawger out to the East side to slap the glasses off your face.

WCHA Preview

1) Colorado College- The majority of the Tigers roster returns this year. They did lose Jack Hillen to graduation but the Tigers have more than enough talent to find a point man to operate their power play. Bachman also returns for the Tigers and will once again be the 2nd best goalie in the WCHA. If he stays healthy Chad Rau will be the WCHA Player Of The Year. I also have a man crush on Bill Sweatt....he is my 2008-09 TJ Oshie.

2) Denver- Probably won’t win the WCHA, but might be the best built team for playoff hockey. They can score tons of goals and also play lock down Bear style hockey when needed. Tyler Bozak is the best player in the conference that never gets talked about. Frosh Joe Colborne is suppose to be the cat's ass. Goalie is their only question mark.

3) Wisconsin- The most boring team in all of sports. Probably has the most talented and deepest defense in the WCHA if they all can reach their potential. That would be a good thing since their angry little coach doesn’t allow the team to attack. Defenders McBain, McDonagh and Gardnier are all high NHL draft picks. The rest of team is like watching Jumpers, really boring but just enough action to keep people watching and from slashing their wrists.

4) St. Cloud- They should be a fun team to watch this year as long as you can block out all of their fans and just concentrate on what is happening on the ice. Ryan Lasch and Garrett Roe are the two main reasons why St. Cloud will score a ton of goals especially on the power play. Look for Soph. Aaron Marvin to be a bigger factor this season. Marvin is big, strong, skilled and can mix it up a bit. He should score 10-15 goals this season. The mouth breather Jase Weslosky returns in goal for SCSU. SCSU fans seem to think this is a good thing. I think he sucks and still can’t believe a kid that stupid can keep himself eligible to play, even if he is attending SCSU. Also Jordy Christian is one of my favorite Frosh players in the WCHA. He is a very fun player to watch.

5) Minnesota- More on Gophers below. They might start a bit slow because of all the frosh, but will be very tough to skate with the 2nd half of the season. The Gophers power play is going to be very fun to watch this year with all the offensive talent. Kangas is back for his Sophomore season and will once again be the best goalie in the WHCA "eat it Bachman". Teams 5-8 are going to be very tight. Kangas’s is our savior.....Jesus Who?

6) North Dakota- No, this isn’t me taking a piss on my most hated team in all of sports. The fact is they just aren’t going to be very talented this year. Gino Torretta (a.k.a. Ryan Duncan) and Chris VandeVelde are the biggest thing they have going for them and that isn’t saying a lot. Joe Finley also returns for his senior season which means Moma Dawger’s Grandma will get to watch him muff a lot of little guys in the face and then skate away when a bigger players skate up to confront him. Otherwise they are just going to have a bunch of blue collar players without a ton of upside. Even though S.S.S. thinks the Sioux have no goalie talent, Brad Eidness will step in right away and give them a very solid #1. They do have a nice frosh class, but other than Jason Gregoire and Brad Eidness none of them will be counted on to make huge impacts this year. This all adds up to a down year in the land of blonde hair and blue eyes.

7) Minnesota State Mankato- Everyone in the world is picking these chowders to finish in the top 3 or 4 teams in the conference. This spells doom for Mankato. The reason they where a bit above average last year is because most teams took them lightly and they could play all loosey goosey. Last year they where a cute little team that people rallied around when Wisco stole their NCAA spot. This year they will be exposed for a team with average talent and will get most teams "A" game because of their high expectations. I could see UMD finishing a head of them. I also hate them for playing that queer soccer song whenever they score a goal.

8) UMD Bulldawgers- They have a real nice goalie in Alex Stalock who can steal games for them. That is about it. Otherwise they are really balanced with no high end talent. This spells 7 or 8th place and Scott Sandelin finally getting fired. I take it back, UMD can't finish ahead of Mankato. At least they have a new rink opening in two years!

9) Michigan Tech- Suck like WWWWWW’s 2007 NFL predictions.

10) Alaska Anchorage- Suck like Baby Dawgers pink Sioux stick. You can see Russia from their campus though! That was a political joke for Bogart... uppity prick!

Gopher Preview

The 2008 Gophers will most likely start the season with up and down results because of the youth that will be in their lineup every Friday and Saturday night. The good news is the hockey SHOULD be entertaining to watch this year. The biggest difference in 2008 is the Gophers power play will be much improved. The return of Ryan Stoa and the addition of Jordan Schroeder and Aaron Ness to the power play unit should be huge. Their will also be enough talent left over to make the Gophers 2nd power play unit as potent as 2007's #1.

The Other key change for 2008 was a major coaching change. Mike Guentzel is now out (now at Colorado College) as the Gophers top assistant coach and has been replaced by Mike Hastings. I was a huge fan of Guentzel because he was kind of a hard ass type coach which was a good thing for some of the fancy boys the gophers recruited. That being said, I do agree with the change because I think the Gophers needed a new voice and some new ideas to freshen up the program. Hastings has a long record of developing high end talent and will be counted on to improve the defense.

Goalies- The Gophers return Alex Kangas and that is all you need to know. Kangas is the greatest Gopher player of all time. ALL TIME!

Defenders- This is the area that scares me the most entering the season. The Gophers top returning defender should be David Fisher, but the kid has shown us nothing other than a 2 month window to start last year. The other two returning players who will be counted on are RJ Anderson and Dawgers sexier and less follicly challenged clone, Cade Fairchild. Fairchild has a chance to be a very good NCAA player if he continues to develop. I wouldn’t pick RJ Anderson for my Phy Ed floor hockey team if I had the 2nd to last pick and had to chose between him and a special needs child. I am not kidding. It scares the hell out of me that Lucia continues to talk about riding RJ this year.

Aaron Ness is going to be a very fun player to watch in the open ice and on the power play, but I think he will struggle in 5 v 5 situations. I am guessing the coaches will need to reel him in a bit because he was in deeper than the forwards in last weeks exhibition game. It makes for fun hockey, but 2 v1's the other direction and RJ being the 1 equals trouble. Other guys who will chip in on D are Werhs, Sam Lofquist, Grant Scott and Schack. The Todd, the Schack mention was for you!

Forwards- The Gophers should score more goals than last year, but that isn’t going to take much. The top line of Stoa, Barriball and Schroeder should be very good if Barriball can find away to tap in those pesky open net goals when Schoeder threads the puck to the far post. For those who don’t know it yet, Jordan Schoeder is going to be sexiest Gopher to ever live. He will be the WCHA’s Paul Kariya.

I am guessing the 2nd line will be made up of Flynn, Lucia and WWWWWW’s guy Carman. I expect Carman to have a big year as long as he continues to attend class and stay eligible. Flynn and Lucia should be career 3rd line guys, but both work hard and create chances. The only problem is they usually Hakstol those chances down their legs. If Patrick White and Mike Hoeffel continue to improve I think they will find themselves moving up to the 2nd line. Granted it was an exhibition game, but both of them looked much improved, especially Hoeffel. My call of the year is Hoeffel will have 15-20 goals this year.

Other players who should see a lot of minutes and chip in this year are Nick Larson (will be a stud in years to come), Justin Bostrom, Taylor Mattson (will be a great penalty kill guy) and Jake Hanson. There are some other talented frosh, but the minutes won’t be there and either will the performance this year.

Overall it will be an up and down year for the Gophers, but a lot more enjoyable to watch than last year. If the Gophers can actually keep some players around, next year could be NCAA Championship #6. Its been a while so I will remind everyone UND sucks. Preview that W!

Wheeler Leaves For The NH.....AHL

Blake Wheeler has left the Gopher Hockey team to sign a professional hockey contract. Although he hasn't signed a contract yet, all indications are he will sign one soon. It sounds like Blake announced his decision prior to signing a contract so the Gophers could try and fill his roster spot as soon as possible. Note to Okposo, that is how you handle things.

A lot of people think Wheeler was a bust as a player because of his #5 draft ranking. Actually Blake was a very solid player for the Gophers and improved each and every year. If Wheeler would have returned for his senior season there was a chance he would have joined the 150 point club for the U hockey program which is a pretty rare feat.

Blake will always have a spot in my heart for sticking it to North Dakota in the 2007 WCHA Final Five Championship game. That goal alone should get his mural hung in Mariucci. Below is a press release for the U of Minnesota.

The Todd, Are you trying to step on toes by breaking Gopher news prior to my post! You Son of Bitc.....

Press Release from the UofM:
University of Minnesota wrote:
Minnesota junior forward Blake Wheeler has withdrawn from the university to pursue a career in professional hockey. Wheeler, who was a 2004 first-round draft pick by the Phoenix Coyotes, has 30 days to sign with the team. Following the 30 days, if the two parties do not reach an agreement, Wheeler will become a free agent. He is the ninth Minnesota player to leave college early for the professional ranks since the end of the 2005-06 season. Wheeler is the third Gopher to leave from the 2007-08 season with Okposo, Frazee and now Wheeler. “Blake is an outstanding student, person and hockey player,” Minnesota head coach Don Lucia said. “He was a leader on our team both on and off the ice and we will certainly miss Blake’s contribution to the program. We are excited for the future in front of him and there is no question that he will have a long career in the NHL.” A native of Plymouth, Minn., Wheeler led the Gophers’ scoring charge with 15 goals and 20 assists for 35 points this past season. He spread his 35 points over 29 different games and his 15 goals over 14 different games. In 28 conference games, Wheeler tallied 23 points and was named a third-team All-WCHA selection. He tied for ninth in WCHA scoring and 12th in both goal and assist scoring. One of the team’s assistant captains, Wheeler had six multiple-point games this season, including a season-high three-point performance in a 4-1 win over Minnesota Duluth (3/7). The Gophers finished seventh in the WCHA standings and were the WCHA Final Five runner-up team. Wheeler and the Gophers then made their eighth-straight NCAA appearance, only to fall to eventual champions, Boston College. In his career, Wheeler posted 42 goals and 54 assists for 96 points. In his sophomore campaign, Wheeler ranked fifth on the team in scoring with 38 points, while posting 23 points as a rookie in 2005-06. He was named the WCHA Final Five Most Valuable Player in 2006-07 after scoring a sensational overtime, game-winning goal in the 3-2 win over North Dakota in the title game. Michelle Traen Assistant Athletics Communications Director University of Minnesota gophersports.com

NCAA Hockey Preview #2

Seriously, what is wrong with you WWWWWW. Sarah Chalke???? Thanks to that disgusting photo I can’t even eat my donut this morning. What really pisses me off is I bought one of those really good raised donuts with white frosting and the cute little spring colored sprinkles. Now that is wasted thanks to Sarah "I am 30 pounds over weight" Chalke. You really need to step it up. Also, screw drivers are gay. Not white wine spritzer gay, just plain old gay. Why is C. Garey so angry and why does he use his entire name as a moniker??? C. Garey, I am only asking why you are so angry and I am in know way judging you. On to hockey.

Midwest Regional (Madison, Wi "greatest city on earth")

Did you know that Bogart once puked crap out of his mouth and onto his arm while road tripping it in Madison. It what just like that episode of South Park where Cartman poops out his mouth. The only difference is Cartman had an actual turd come out his mouth and Bogart had some hybrid combination of turd and #3's. I know this is disgusting, but it is also fascinating if you really think about it. You know this isn’t any worse than the picture of nasty ass Sarah Chalke. God I still feel sick. F U WWWWWW!

#1 North Dakota vs #4 Princeton- I would love nothing more then to start this preview by predicting a Princeton victory but I don’t want to look like one of those bitter guys who say Brett Farve sucks and then tries to prove it. Instead I will just say North Dakota sucks but is still really good? Either way they win this game, but I don’t think it will be a blow out. I still say North Dakota is a one team line. Anyone who shuts down the Duncan-Oshie line will be in the game with North Dakota. NoDak does have a great defense and possibly the 2nd best goalie in the country. Kangas is clearly a better goalie than Lamerioux. North Dakota wins 3-1. God knows I would love to see an upset here! Also, have you heard the internet rumor about the time Duncan and Lamerioux got real drunk and put live pocket gophers "in" each other? Sick.

#2 Denver vs #3 Wisconsin- I still can’t believe Wisconsin is in this tournament. You can take your pairwise rankings a stick them right up Sarah Chalke fat ass. However you do the math Mankato State got screwed. To top it off Wisconsin gets to play at home. F’ing Bucky cheated somehow and he will burn in hell when it comes out. Denver really should win this game but Bucky in the Kohl Center scares me a bit. I am going to pick Denver to win 2-1, but my gut is saying Wisconsin at home. Whoever wins this game wins the region, book it!

Regional Final #1 North Dakota vs #2 Denver- This game will set college hockey back 10 years. Denver will play trap hockey that makes the MLS look interesting. The beautiful part about this game will be another failure by the mouth breather Hakstol. Denver wins 2-1. With all the talents UND loses this year it will be a minimum of three years before they are title contenders again. Suckers!

Northeast Regional (Worcester, MA)

#1 Miami (shit house!) vs #4 Air Force- Miami is the classic team that puts up huge numbers all year and then goes up in a ball of flames every year at the NCAA tournament. This year will be no different. Miami does have a legit stud in Ryan Jones. Jones has scored 30 goals in 38 games this year and made the Hoby Baker top 10 list. All I know about Air Force is I watched them get out played by the Gophers back in December. At that point the Gophers absolutely sucked and where playing without the team members who where playing in the world Jr. Tournament. You know that Air Force will work real hard because that is what idiots in the armed forces do. The problem is these kids are playing for a service school because they aren’t good enough to play for a top tier program or they want to make something out of their lives other than athletics. That’s not exactly American if you ask me. Miami wins 3-2.

#2 Boston College vs #3 Minnesota. Boston College is led by Nathan Gerbe. The beauty of Nathan Gerbe is Dawg towers over him. Gerbe stands 5-6 but is skilled as hell. He is exactly the type of player the Gophers need to start recruiting. Here is a little history for you. Do you know the last time the Frozen Four was in Denver the Gophers won the NCAA title? And.....The last time the Gophers lost to Denver in the WCHA Final Five Championship they went on to win the NCAA Title. What does this mean???? Boston College wins 3-1! This is a game the Gophers can win, but my gut tells me they won’t. That is to bad because the winner of this game will move onto the Frozen Four. Saturday will also be a sad day for The Bear as he will say good bye to his all time favorite Gopher, Derek Peltier. The good news for The Bear is he will be able to have Peltier caddy his golf clubs for him this summer at Meadow Brook.

Northeast Championship #1 Miami vs #2 Boston College. Miami once again wets the bed. Boston College wins 5-2. Eat it Ryan Jones!

Rheumatoid Picks Up The Pieces For The Bears Guy Peltier!

Talk about having a case of the Albany’s during March Madness. That is exactly what the Bear’s Guy had yesterday when he sent his wild slappa god knows where with fifteen seconds remaining and the Gophers tied 2-2 with St. Cloud State. Hey Peltier, way to be the guy who shite’s the bed when there is every chance in the world to finally be a hero and leave your mark on the Gopher hockey program. You really know how to pick’em Bear!!! Luckily for all Gopher fans Mike "rheumatoid" Howe was hopped up on Advil Gel Caps and was able to pounce on Peltier’s sloppy turd. Lucifer also reared his beautiful head again last night as Howesy scored his "6th" goal of the year. Even more amazing than Howe’s joints working properly was the fact that Dawg called me with 3 minutes left in the game to tell me the Gophers would score before OT. Good call Bert!

Incase you didn’t hear, Alex Kangas walked on water last again last night. My question to all readers. Is Kangas the greatest college goalie ever? Did you also realize that the final five lands on easter weekend this year? Can anything else point to a Gophers championship this weekend?

Seriously WWWWWW, your bracket is terrible. Can we please get Mrs. WWWW or Old Man WWWWW to break down college hoops for us? Those two at least have a clue what is going on. I might butcher the use of "too" but even I could tell that OJ Mayo is a dime a dozen talent and Arizona had the same chance of beating W. Virginia as Wozniak had driving home from Madison without puking on the side of the road.

With all the talk about Bogart’s terrible, flaky and down right disgusting skin I thought I would post a picture of what it looks like for the readers who do not know him. Seriously man, have you ever heard of lotion?

Go Gophers!

WCHA Final Five

The WCHA final five begins tonight at the Xcel. Tonights play-in game features the Gophers vs St. Cloud State. The winner of tonights game moves on to Friday's semi-finals to play #1 seed Colorado College. The other semi-final will feature the University of we hate native americans vs the Denver Pioneers.

The Gophers head to the Final Five after possibly the longest 3 game series in the history of the WCHA. The Gophers lost 1-0 in double OT, won 2-1 in OT and won 3-2 in double OT to advance. There are three keys to tonights game for the Gophers. 1) Kangas, 2) score 3+ goals and 3) stay out of the penalty box. They follow my keys and I guarantee victory.

Next years Hoby Baker winner needs to continue playing like he did last weekend. That might be a bit much to ask, but I have never been one to shy away from asking for to much. Kangas either gets shutouts all weekend or I write him off faster than Frazee! Seriously, if the Gophers want any chance of advancing this weekend Kangas can not allow more than two goals a game. Sad, but true.

Next to the Play of Kangas goal scoring is the next biggest factor for the gophers. I know that sounds like the dip shit analyst who says "whoever scores more goals will most likely win the game", but the Gophers need to find a way to score 3 goals without playing 100 minutes of hockey. Last Sundays game was a perfect example of what I am talking about. The Gophers had numerous chances to score goals right in front of the net and instead of putting the puck in the corner of the net the forwards would rush shots and hit the Mavericks goalie in the chest. The Mavericks goalie (Zacharias) played well last weekend, but the Gophers made him look better than he is. Mouth breather Jase Weslosky is not the goalie Zacharias is, so 3 goals isn't like asking for the moon.

ATTENTION TO THE BEARS GUY PELTIER!!!! The 3rd key to tonights game for the Gophers is staying out of the penalty box. St. Cloud basically lives by it's power play. Their #1 unit of Roe, Lasch and Nodl is possibly the best power play unit in the country. As a team, St. Cloud leads the WCHA in PP efficiency at 21.9%. That means the Gophers can only take necessary penalties. Note to Peltier, we don't need any Cross Checking, Roughing, Boarding or whatever other dumb penalty you decide take 60 feet behind the play. Those are the penalties that will get the Gophers beat tonight. Maybe the gophers should just sit Peltier all weekend? Hey Bear, nice player!

Predictions for the weekend.

Play-in game MN 4 St. Cloud 2. The Gophers will be to tired to skate all over the rink which is a good thing for this team. They will sit back and play "system" hockey and rely on Kangas to make saves. How much does it suck that the Gophers have turned into the Wisconsin Badgers of college hockey? God I can't wait for some actual talent to get back in the program next year! Also, keep your eyes out for the Todd slinging his shit on the ice if the gophers happen to lose. I am on record as saying The Todd doesn't have the arm to get it over the glass.

Semi-final #1 Denver 3 UND 2. Upset of the weekend. UND has been playing to good for to long. The also looked very poor last weekend. On top of that, Denver will be looking forward to this game after the cheap crap UND pulled up in Grand Forks last month. Yet another banner slips through the fingers of Neanderthal Hakstol.

Semi-final #2 CC 3 MN 1. Gophers have nothing left and even if they did Colorado would still beat them. I still think CC is the class of the WCHA.

3rd Place Game. Who really cares other than the Sioux fans who will still act like winning this game is a big deal, f'ing losers!

Championship- CC 5 Denver 2. Denver can't skate with CC. CC locks up a #1 seed in the NCAA tournament.

Tom Pohl update from the University of Minnesota. Gophers Pohl in Intensive Care Following Surgery at Rochester Hospital. University of Minnesota senior Tom Pohl is in intensive care following surgery resulting from an injury suffered in the Golden Gophers double overtime victory over Minnesota State on Sunday in Mankato . Pohl sustained a skull fracture when his head hit the boards in front of the teams bench at 6:09 of the second period. The injury resulted in bleeding on the brain and Pohl was airlifted to St. Marys Hospital in Rochester . Successful surgery was performed to stop the bleeding and stabilize the fracture. Pohl remains at the hospital for further observation.We are very fortunate that he has tremendous medical care, said Minnesota coach Don Lucia, who is in Rochester with Pohl and his family. Were looking forward to him returning to school at one hundred percent and our thoughts and prayers remain with Tom and the Pohl family.

Here is a link to the Gophers incoming recruits. Things are really looking up talent wise. Only two questions marks coming in over the next two years, Brandon Martell and Josh Birkholz. Martell just isn't that good and Birkolz comes off as a whiny kid who pouts when things aren't going his way....f'ing cake eater! http://gopherpuck.blogspot.com/2007/01/committed-gopher-recruits.html

Kyle Okposo played in his first NHL game Tuesday night for the New York Islanders. The Black Ginger played 14 minutes and registered two shots on net. It looks like two months of Minor league hockey got his development back on track. Good thing he got out while the getting was good.

Lastly, even though the smartest man in Grand Forks is on record as saying the Gophers won't make the NCAA tournament they are a lock. The worst team to make the NCAA tournament in Gophers history....without a doubt, but I will still take a game or two in the NCAA after the season this team has had.

Lastly, Lastly....WWWWWW, nice NCAA picks! I thought you where suppose to be the hoops guy on this blog? The Sports Guy knows more about college hoops!

God Does Love Gophers Hockey!

Last nights Gopher game was one of the most exciting games I have watched in several years while also being one of the most frustrating. I have never seen a team that is so inept at scoring goals in all my life. Hopefully after this season it will be another 30 years before I have to see it again.

A special thanks to Dawger for leaving me at the bar last night by myself. It was really much more enjoyable watching the 2nd overtime with the Hispanic cooks and the table full of metro sexual Sioux fans who thought they where king shit because they just knocked off Michigan Tech in 3 games. Note to all metro sexual Sioux fans, hockey jerseys aren’t meant to be tucked into your jeans and the word "Dude" died with pinned jeans.

Alex Kangas is now the greatest goalie in the history of college hockey. If he doesn’t win the Hoby Baker the next three years they should just do away with the award. If Lucia wouldn’t have screwed him out of playing time the first half of the season Kangas most likely would have gone for the grand slam and won the Hoby all four years of his career. Kangas was so good last night that Dawger had a wet spot on his jeans after the third period.

The Gophers also now skate with Lucifer on their side. Lucia obviously sold his soul to make the NCAA tournament this year. How else can you explain all three Gophers (Barriball, White and Lucia) scoring their sixth goal of the season last night? 6-6-6! Looks like it will be foam parties for the all Gophers other than Kangas! Can the Gophers be beat with both Jesus and Lucifer on their side? I don’t know either.

One of the greatest lines ever mumbled on T.V. took place during the Gophers game last night. Incase you missed it, during the first overtime Doug Woog said "everyone in the arena is standing except for the people in wheel chairs." As soon as he said that I pictured Woog wearing Bogarts I Hate Cripples t-shirt. P.S. Real classy shirt Bogart! Get a heart you unsympathetic son of a bitch!

Final Five Preview to come later this week.

WCHA Playoff Preview

The WCHA regular season came to an end last weekend. This week I will be handing out my post season awards and breaking down the first round of the WCHA playoffs. Before we start I want to give congratulations to Colorado College for winning the McNaughton Cup and basically leading the conference from wire to wire.

WCHA First Team

F- Ryan Lasch- Leading Scorer in the conference and one of the top scorers in the nation.
F- Chad Rau- 2nd leading scorer in conference play, led conference in shorties, WCHA Champion.
F- TJ Oshie- Best all around player in the conference. Will be on the People Magazines 2008 sexiest people list.
D- Jack Hillen- Leading scorer among defenseman in the conference and country.
D- Taylor Chorney- Probably doesn’t deserve this, but was first team last year and still had a solid season. Robbie Bina could also land here on the official list, just not mine, I hate gimps!
G- Phil Lamerioux- Best goalie in the league. Also the biggest twat. 1.66 GAA and .934 Save %

All Frosh Team

F- Garret Roe-SCSU- Top frosh scorer in the conference and one of the top overall scorers in the country.
F- Kyle Turris-UW- Led Wisconsin in scoring. #3 overall pick in last years NHL draft.
F- Tyler Bozeak-DU- #7 overall scorer in WCHA play.
D- Ryan Mc Donaugh-UW- Wisconsin- Played a ton of minutes and had a very solid year.
D- Cade Fairchild- MN- Leading point getter for Frosh defenders in the conference. Played a ton of minutes
G- Richard Bachman-CC- If he wasn’t a frosh he might be up for Conference MVP. Similar numbers to twat boy. 1.77 GAA and .934 Save %.

Conference MVP- Phil Lamerioux- UND

ROY- Richard Bachman-CC- Three way race between Bachman, Roe (scsu), and Turris.

Coach of the Year- Troy Jutting- His team was expected to finish near the bottom of the WCHA and finished in the top half of the conference and will likely make the NCAA tournament. Lucia still owns him though!

#1 Colorado College vs #10 Alaska Anchorage- Alaska is just plain awful and will not be able to skate with Colorado College. CC wins 5-1 on Friday and 4-1 Saturday for a 2-0 sweep. It would be nice if the WCHA could boot Alaska from the conference and add Bemidji State.

#2 UND vs #9 Michigan Tech- These games SHOULD be low scoring because of the style Tech plays and I wouldn’t be shocked if Tech steals 1 game. With that being said I am still picking UND to win 3-2 Friday night and 2-1 Saturday for a 2-0 sweep. UND’s winning streak will end next weekend in St. Paul.

#3 Denver vs #8 UMD- Not sure what to expect in this series. Denver has not played well for over a month now and UMD has been terrible until the Gophers gift wrapped a win for them last Saturday. I will go with the home team winning 3-1 Friday night, UMD stays alive with a 3-2 win Saturday and Denver wins game #3 3-1. Denver wins the series 2-1.

#4 Mankato State vs #7 U of — This may come to a shock to most of you but I am actually going to pick the Gophers to win in three games. The main reason is the Gophers own Mankato State. The Gophers life time record vs Mankato is 25-2-5. If Mankato wins 1 game this weekend that would double the amount of games the have won vs the gophers in Mankato. Gophers win 3-2 Friday, Mankato wins 3-2 Saturday and the Gophers win 2-1 Sunday. Gophers win the series 2-1.

#5 St.Cloud vs #6 Wisconsin- This is another series where the visiting team completely owns their opponent. Up until two weeks ago St. Cloud had gone 17 games without beating Wisconsin. That streak was snapped two weeks ago with a 3-2 victory in the 2nd game of that series. Look for another close series similar to the MN vs Mankato series. Wisconsin wins 3-2 Friday, St. Cloud wins 3-2 Saturday and Wisconsin wins 4-2 Sunday. Wisconsin wins series 2-1.

That will give us a final Five of CC, UND, Denver, Wisconsin and MN. You can write that in with permanent marker!

Also, Congratulation to Ryan Duncan on winning the Hoby Baker Award in 2007 and not even making first team all-conference in 2008. Toews is still waiting for his trophy....f’ing thief!

Gophers A Lock For Home Ice!

The Gophers travel to Alaska to take on the Eskimos of Alaska Anchorage this weekend. The beauty of this weekend is the Gophers should find themselves all alone in 7th place when they return to Dinky town Sunday with an outside shot at 6th place. MN currently sits in 8th place, 1 pt behind UMD. The bulldogs play a Saturday/Sunday series vs Eva Braun's Babies (Sioux). I would guess Eva's babies would sweep the Dogs seen as how CC destroyed UMD at the DECC last weekend and UND has to sweep if they want any shot at the WCHA. I am predicting a 4-1 Sioux win on saturday and a 3-0 Sioux win on Sunday. I am also predicting Joe Finley starts another fight after a period/game and once again skates and hides while his teammates clean up his mess. Joe Finley is Basically the Bogart and Woz of college hockey. Just like Bogart and Woz, Finley tries living the life but then ends up pissing the bed and puking all over himself when the real fun starts. Then leaves his teammates/friends to clean up for him.

Mankato heads to Colorado Springs to play the CC Tigers this weekend. Mankato currently sits 4 pts ahead of the Gophers. Once I am predicting CC will sweep at home this weekend. A sweep this weekend will clinch at least a share of 1st place in the WCHA for the Tigers. I also think Mankato just plain sucks so I say CC 5-2 Friday and 4-1 Saturday. With this result and a Gopher sweep of the Eskimos they would now be tied for 6th place in the WCHA. The Gophers also hold the tie breaker over Mankato so that would move them ahead of Mankato as far as home ice seeding are concerned.

The last major series of the weekend has Wisconsin traveling to St. Cloud. No matter what happens here one of these teams is going to finish in front of the Gophers. I would guess we will see a split here, but don't be surprised if St. Cloud pulls off a sweep. Wisconsin struggles scoring goals so if St. Cloud can get up and down the ice this weekend they could pull sweep and lock themselves into home ice. A sweep by St.Cloud would leave the Gophers 1 pt. behind Wisconsin heading into the final weekend of the WCHA. Wisconsin is on bye next weekend so a Gopher split with the Bulldogs next weekend would lock MN into the #5 seed in the WCHA tournament and bring a match up with either Mankato/Duluth/Wisconsin to Mariucci. All of those series which the Gophers would probably be favored in at home. St. Cloud wins 4-2 Friday and Wisconsin wins 3-2 Saturday. F’ing Badger, Gophers now need to sweep UMD next weekend at Mariucci to get #5 seed.

UAA has won just one game since Dec. 29, so they clearly suck worse than the movie Jumper. Last weekend, they were swept at Denver and in the prior two weekends they were swept by both Minnesota State and St. Cloud State. The Eskimos are last in the WCHA in the standings, scoring offense and scoring defense. Their penalty kill is also last in the conference, so the Gopher power play will have a good chance to keep building on last weekend. Basically AA is the Northwestern of college hockey. They just plain suck.

The Gophers are coming off their best offensive performance since the opening weekend of the year. Some of that had to do with Wisconsin's shaky goal tending, but either way the Gophers played fairly well all weekend. The two biggest questions for me heading into this series are the play of the real baby Jesus (Kangas) and can Barriball's continue scoring goals.

Kangas really and truly sucked Saturday night. He sucked to a level that even made Frazee chuckle. It would be nice to see him rebound Friday night and post a shut out or a 1 goal game so everyone can forget about last Saturday. I can't believe I am typing this, but a Frazee sighting on Saturday might be a good idea also. Kangas has played a ton of games down the stretch and a night off might be good for him. It would also be nice to give Drinky a game before playoffs begin incase he is needed. God a feel like dirtier now then I did when I watched the shower scene in The Crying Game.

Barriball getting on a hot streak would be huge for the Gophers going down the home stretch. He showed flashes of the old Barriball last weekend and the goal he scored Saturday was the type of goal that can really give a player a ton of confidence. At least I am running with that theory and hoping it fits here. If Barriball continues to score and the 2nd and 3rd line keeps chipping in a goal or two the Gophers will actually be a tough team to deal with. Lets just see if they can keep this up for three or four weeks.

You see it is all quite simple! The Gophers are a lock for home ice in the WCHA which will give them an at large birth in the NCAA. And you all thought this season was for nothing! The Gophers rule! Actually they still really suck and I have a slight feeling they will wet the bed this weekend and will either lose or tie one game in Alaska. Hopefully that happens on Saturday with Frazee in goal so I can come on here next week calling him fat and drunk. Gophers win 3-1 Friday and 3-2 on Saturday.

If the Gophers lose this weekend I am seriously done with Lucia and calling for the immediate hiring of Dean Blais.

Also, I thought this was actually comical. It is a fight in a Woman's college hockey game. How sad is this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZAehXzjG0w . Shockingly a Sioux team is involved.

Lastly. Dawg, how can you expect us to take a movie recommendation seriously when you state moma dawger loved Jumper??? She is the same person who told me Four Letter Lie was the greatest band ever. You just lost all credibility as a critic. P.S. How was that tube sock last night?

Take A Bit Of That Bucky

After Saturday nights 4-4 tie it is clear Jeff Frazee needs to be removed from the Gophers roster immediately. It was obvious that he is clearly sabotaging Kangas. That is the only way you can explain the game Kangas played Saturday night. Not even Frazee on his worst night would have let in the 3 turds Kangas let in Saturday. Just for the Bear, Kangas was going to get hammered with a couple "You Stupid F'ing C*nt" calls after the 4th goal, but luckily for him Jr. Snake was in attendance. Clearly Kangas is still only Jesus and has yet to turn into god.

Once again the Gophers scored 4 goals on Saturday night and two of those where PP goals. Some of that had to do with Wisconsin's goalie eating a piece of Kansas's shite pie, but the Gophers actually looked like they had a clue on the power play. It was also nice to see Jay Barriball score a pair of goals this weekend. His two goal explosion now gives him as many goals as WWWWWWW guy RJ Anderson (5). That is really sad. Hopefully Barriball can mop up a little on the gimps from Alaska and get himself on a bit of a roll.

Derek Peltier really needs to hurry up and graduate. Not only can he not play at a high level, now he thinks he's some type of enforcer. Peltier is constantly taking cheap shots at players as they skate away and taking stupid penalties. His penalty on Saturday night in the 2nd period was a classic example. Some badger throws a clean check into a Gopher player next to the Gophers bench and for some reason Peltier skates over and takes a roughing penalty? Nice captain. This kid is just plain awful and the worst captain I can remember in my 25 years of following the team. Next to Kangas playing like Jeff Frazee and the Gophers trouble clearing the puck out of their end, Peltier was a true black eye on the weekend. Ya he scored a nice goal Friday, but even a blind Squirell finds a nut once in a while. The only good thing about Dawg showing up to the bar at 6:45 was being late to the game and not having to applaud Peltiers goal.

A message to the guy who sat in front of me during saturdays game. I get Jesus is cool and he is your savor, but you can't make your entire family (wife and 2 kids) say grace before eating hotdogs at a sporting event. Your kids already look like they have no shot in life unless Dungeons and Dragons becomes a professional sport. Making them say grace at sporting events is just going to get them heckled which will lead to them hating you even more than they already will.

Overall the weekend was a success for the Gophers. Some how the Gophers are sitting at #14 in the Pairwise Rankings and need to move up one more spot to make the field of 16 for the NCAA tournament. Currently UMD is in 13th, but they are in complete free fall mode. Duluth hoists UND this weekend at the DECC while the Gophers travel to play the ever mighty Seawolves of Alaska Anchorage. If the Gophers do not take a minimum of 4 points out of this weekend they can piss off. Alaska wouldn't win the MN High School tournament so there are no excuses for not sweeping this series. Especially when they know a sweep will put them into position for the NCAA and give them a first round opponent much easier than Denver, UND or CC.

Lastly, I was told about this "great" band called Four Letter Lie. I have been making fun of said person for a couple days about how this band sucks and a monkey banging on two empty soup cans sounds better. So yesterday I decided to check them out on the internet and give them a shot. Lets just say that is 15 minutes of my life I will never get back. First of all, their website has not been updated since 2/12/07, but they do have a myspace page???? Unless you want everyone of your fans to be 16 years old or younger get a regular website. For everyone else on this blog, please do not tell me a band is the greatest band ever when their upcoming concerts are going to be played at venues such as Jerry's Pizza and Bulldog Pizza. Also, Four Letter Lie is going to be rocking in "Rogers", MN on April 3rd at Showcase Skate Park???? That is 10 minutes from my house if anyone wants to have a pre concert party at my place! Actually, they could move the concert to my basement and the only reason I would go down there would be to shut off the power to my house. These guys seriously suck and whichever band member is trying to look like Jon Bon needs his ass kicked.

P.S. WWWWWWW, Carman is mine, so back off my man bitch!

Badger Hunting

Sadly the Gopher hockey team is back in action this weekend after mercifully getting a bye last weekend. Bucky Badger comes to Mariucci for this weekends series. This series could have less scoring than the Gophers vs Sioux series 2 weeks ago. Right now I am putting the over/under for total goals in the series at 3.5 and putting my entire pay check on the under.

The most exciting thing about this coming weekend is WWWWWWW will be taking in his first ever Gopher hockey game. I received a voicemail from WWWWW while he was in New Jersey telling me how much he was looking forward to the game. For a guy who claims to hate hockey WWWWWWW sure was excited. Keep it in your pants WWWWWW only 10 hours until the puck drops.

Wisconsin heads into this series on a bit of a hot streak. The have moved up to #10 in the polls, are in the top half of the WCHA and have worked their way into NCAA consideration. The biggest reason for Wisconsin’s resurgence is their improved play on Defense. Wisconsin is back to its old ways of playing tight D and relying on counter attacks for goals. This is the reason I am predicting a 3 to 4 goal explosion for the entire weekend. Wisconsin is still led by Freshmen Kyle Turris who now has 29 points in 28 games. Turris was drafted 3rd overall by the Coyotes in last summers NHL draft. Junior Ben Street leads Wisconsin in goals with 12 and Turris’s line mate Patrick Johnson is third on the team in scoring with 19 points.

I really have no interest in breaking down what the gophers need to do this weekend. Basically score more than 1 goal per game and continue playing good defense. It looks like Jay Barriball will not be playing this weekend because of the ankle injury he sustained in the Friday night game in Denver. There is an outside chance he could play, but all signs are he will rest another week. If you want more of a preview just read one of the previous hockey posts.

Edit 10:31 AM. Lucia just said Barriball should play this weekend. With only three goals this year I am not sure if that is good news or not? I guess anything is better than watching The Todd's guy Schack play.

How pathetic are the Gophers at scoring goals this season??? This all but sums things up. The Gophers are currently tied for last in the WCHA in scoring with Alaska F'ing Anchorage???? How is that possible??? The Gophers power play has dropped to last in the league and they are now scoring at below a 10% clip on said power play. To make things worse "if that is possible" the Gophers now sit in 9th place in the league. Maybe Garth Snow was right? "Bring back Woog!"

My prediction for the weekend is actually a Gopher sweep. They have everything to play for and if they want any chance of making the NCAA tournament they need to get two wins this weekend. Gophers win 2-1 Friday night and 1-0 Saturday and hockey Jesus (Kangas) takes 1 more step towards becoming hockey god.

P.S. WWWWWW, the question Moma W should have asked is "why do they call it the barn yard and 8 racists dress up like Gorilla’s for every game?" I now want to beat the Gorillas more than flag guy. Nice fans!

Grades For Hockey Team

- The following conversation took place at Williams are.......Jimmy's Bar during the Gophers vs Iowa game.

WWWWWWW- "Hey Snake, You better turn out a hockey post next week or your fired."

Snake- "But Boss Man, The hockey team is on bye next week."

WWWWWWW- "I don't care I want more hockey. I love hockey. Why don't you do a report card for all the players."

Snake- "I guess I could do that"

WWWWW- Thinking to himself, "God that report card idea is so good I will steal it back and use it for the hoops team. Then Snake will look like a complete ass when he posts his grades at the end of the week."

WWWWW- "Also, I am thinking about granting Dawg blogging rights so he can review movie's. How bad to you think they could be?"

Snake- "Ummmm??????Ahhhhh??????Ummmmmm????????"

- Wednesday afternoon.

Snake- Thinks to himself when he sees WWWWW's hoops report card, "God I hate WWWW and his irrelevant blog. I am going to punch him in his slightly over weight gut next time I see him for sand bagging me. What an ass."

Snake- Thinks to himself after reading Dawgs blog, "Man, Dawgs review really sucked. Did he really pick Balls of Fury for his first post?" "God that was bad, it was like he blanked on bits after the first paragraph."

- Here are the grades I have given the Gophers for the season thus far. Thanks again for stealing my thunder WWWWWW! Hope you like your F'ing hockey report card.

Kangas and Wheeler (A)

Rest of team (F)

Frazee (F-) "Leave the program already!" "You Suck!"

W, There are your grades you indian giving SOB.

Gopher Hockey Travel West

The Gophers travel to Denver, Colorado this weekend to take on the Pioneers of Denver University. WWWWW, get the picture? Oregon Trail......the Gophers play the Pioneers..... get it! Pure brilliance on my part. That picture does remind of one thing that always pissed me off as a kid. How in the hell was that little slut Mary always breaking her arm or getting sick? Every time you would start making some progress on your journey to Oregon you would receive an urgent message that little slut girl is hurt again or drank some water and has diarrhea. Seriously, someone should have just traded Mary to the indians for a bottle of fire water and 2 blankets. Having Mary on the Oregon trail would be like driving home from Canada or Madison with Dawg, only 10 times worse. Back to hockey. Minnesota's mission is to see if they can actually get more than 1 pt this weekend. With the way the Gophers have been scoring this season I would say no chance, but things haven't been going very smoothly for Denver the past 3 weekends either.

Denver has lost 4 of their past 5 games (loss to Air Force and twice to Mankato, ooouch) and their leading scorer, Brock Trotter, left school earlier this week. Rumors have been flying all over the internet about why Trotter left school. He has been accused of cheating on a test, plagiarism (WWWW, you should have him write for this blog), legal troubles or having personal issues. Seen as how this is part of that internet thing I am going to go on record as saying the reason Trotter left school is his teammates outed him on a road trip a couple weeks ago. How is that for breaking news! The University has kept quiet about the matter, only saying the Trotter is still a member of the team. The only thing that is known for sure is Trotter will not be playing this weekend and I still say he is gay and ashamed. Sophomore Tyler Ruegsegger was injured last weekend when Denver was swept by Mankato State and is questionable for this weekends series. If both Trotter and Ruegsegger are out this weekend it is very likely a pair of soccer matches will break out again this weekend.

A couple notable Denver players that will actually put on a pair of skates this weekend are freshman forward Tyler Bozak (12 goals and 11 Assists) and sophomore forward Rhett Rakhshani (9 goals 10 assists). Both are extremely talented young players who could be dominant when Trotter and Ruegsegger are also in the lineup. Chris Butler is the lead man on Denver's D and is a classic offensive defenseman. Butler is strictly a puck mover and nothing illustrates that more than his zero penalty minutes for the season....pussy! Lastly, the key for Denver this weekend will be goalie Peter Mannino. Mannino is one of the elite goalies in college hockey and that spells trouble for a Gopher team that couldn't score with puck bunnies right now.

As usual the key for this weekend will be wether or not the Gophers can actually score 3 goals in a game. If I was Bogart, and bet on everything humanly possible, I would bet the Gophers would not score 3 goals in a game this weekend. To make things worse, Denver's penalty kill is one of the best in the WCHA. That is not good since the Gophers sport one of the worst power plays in all of college hockey. The two bright spots for the Gophers the past couple of weeks have been the play of Defense and of course Alex Kangas. The Defense was suppose to be this teams weak link coming into the season and since December have been very good. If the Gophers could ever find a couple of goals their D and goalie are actually playing well enough for them to make a run. Alex Kangas should have his jersey retired right now. Not only has he been outstanding, he is also the guy who banished Jeff Frazee from my life. For that I will always owe him and would gladly give him my first child in return. I love you Alex.

The Gophers will play Friday nights game without Tony Lucia who is suspended for "the fight" at the end of last saturdays game. Expect Hoeffel to move up to the 2nd line and fill Lucia's spot. I have heard a lot of crap this week from homer gopher fans who think the little slap and tickle episode with UND last weekend will bring this team together??? Seriously, if all it takes is a cat fight to get this team playing well I will be the first guy through the doors at Blarney's next October looking to start shit with next years incoming freshmen. It would almost be worth the beating to actually watch good hockey next winter.

My prediction, the Gophers tie 2-2 and win 3-1. That is right, I am now changing what I said earlier in this post, the gophers will score three goals in one game. Probably not, but I didn't want to be all negative like WWWWWWW. Friday nights game is on BTN at 8 PM and Saturdays game is on FSN following the Wild game. Also, why is the gophers game part of hockey day MN (or what ever cheesy name FSN is calling saturday), but the game isn't in MN? Why wouldn't FSN work with the WCHA and have MN play UMD or another MN team this weekend??? F'ing retards. Hockey Day MN my ass!

**Extra** Alex Goligoski was called up by the Pittsburgh Penguins this week. Add another player to the list of players the Gophers coaches never developed.

UND Wins and Ties, Yet Still Finds A Way To Suck!

Thoughts from this weekends series vs the university of No class. Warning this is going to sound like something right out of Sid Hartman's column.....but unlike Sid this is gospel!

First, Dave Hak-stool (WWWWWW, see what I did there, just like you boss) is a complete clown and his behavior on the bench this weekend reminds me of a crazy little league mom who can't control herself. He is a complete classless ass! Really, giving a ref the finger during a game? I am sure the people of the Sioux tribe really appreciate the way the school represented their name and likeness this weekend. Nice apology also www.startribune.com/sports/gophers/15168841.html. ""I have evaluated and feel terrible about my actions", Hakstol sounds like a complete pussy! This guy needs his ass kicked.

Second, WWWWWWWWW when you steal my material and butcher it like Tubby's Offence please have the decency to give me credit. Plagiarist! I will forgive you because of the Sconny girls. Although one of those girls is really ugly and her friends should burn her face so she never wrecks another one of their photos. Still, A+ work.

Third, North Dakota is by far and away the largest collection of Douche Bags ever collected on one roster. Anyone who watched Saturdays game can see why everyone outside of North Dakota hates that team. I didn't even think it was possible to get thrown out of a game in the first 7 seconds. Now Ryan Duncan holds the record for quickest DQ and the title of worst Hoby Baker winner of all time. Duncans Hoby award makes Gino Torretta's Heisman selection look good.

4th, Joe Finley is a fairy trapped inside a 6-7 mouth breathers body. Honestly, starting a fight in the hand shake line? I don't care if someone said they wanted to mount his mother from behind, you don't do that. Starting a fight in the hand shake line is like booing during the national anthem or not applauding when someone gets hit number 3000. Once the post game scuffle broke out Finley skated around with his gloves and helmet on playing grab ass? What a tough guy! Note to Finley, "If you want to be a real goon you need to take off your gloves and helmet and actually fight. Blake Wheeler made you look like a fool." I can't wait for Finley to pull the shite in the Minor Leagues so someone caves in his neanderthal face. What a twat!

5th, What is the deal with the idiot Sioux fans who wear white jerseys to Friday nights games? I thought that was green out night? If your going to have ridiculous themes like "green out" and "white out" then make sure you follows those simple instructions. Nice fans....idiots!

The highlight of the weekend was Malone getting thrown like a rag doll into the penalty box by a 5-8 ref. Only a ginger would get treated like that.

Lastly, Kangas is Jesus on skates. The only way Frazee should touch the ice again this season is if Frazee spikes Kangas's water bottle. Unless Kangas is so drunk he can't stand on his skates he should never leave the ice. Nice career Frazee, hope you enjoy selling cars!

In conclusion, everything about North Dakota Hockey sucks. Fire Hakstol and bring back Blais! At least Blais's team had goons that knew what it meant to be a goon. Guys who are not proper goons suck.

Nazi U comes to Minnesota

Sorry about the photo, but it was the best photo I could find of "hot" co-eds from UND. The one in the Sioux green isn't that bad I guess? Bogart...would you?

Thats right, the University of North Dakota and their traveling band of racists visit the the University of Minnesota for a weekend series in the WCHA. Both games are at 7 PM this weekend.

If you read the paper and look at the college hockey polls you will be led to believe the North Dakota is coming into this series red hot. They have recently been ranked #3 in the country which is comical seen as how they are the 3rd best team in the WCHA. UND is also riding a 7 game win streak, which is impressive, but those 7 wins have come against the 3 teams tied for 7th place in the WCHA and the last place team in the WCHA. Like I said, a seven game win streak is always impressive, but beating up on a bunch of cupcakes rockets your team to a #3 ranking in the country??? WWWWWWWWWWW, this would be similar to the Gophers football team being ranked #3 in the counrty after the first four games each year during the Mason era.

The Sioux's top line is always a concern. The Gophers must keep them off the scoreboard like they did a few weeks ago in Grand Forks. If North Dakota has to rely on their #2 and #3 lines the gophers will keep the games close and have a shot to steal a game or two. As always TJ Oshie will be hot!

North Dakota's defense has stepped up its play in the past couple of weeks and that has been the biggest reason for their 7 game win streak. The Sioux have only surrendered more than 1 goal once in their past 6 games. No matter how pathetic the competition, that is an impressive streak. Hopefully the Gophers can open up a lead each game and make the Sioux open up their play a bit more. If the Sioux can sit back the Gophers will only muster their normal 1-2 goals per game.

As stated above, the biggest concern for the gophers this weekend will be generating goals. The gophers actually looked dominate last saturday vs Wisconsin but could only muster two goals and had to settle for a tie in a game they should have won going away. The Gophers must find a way to score 3 to 4 goals minimum in both games if they want to have any chance at gaining points this weekend. As usual, North Dakota leads the WCHA in penalty minutes, but Gophers PP is so pathetic this season that they most likely won't take advantage of it.

Lucia did reunite several lines last weekend and it seemed to spark the level of play (still didn't lead to more goals though). Barriball is back on the top line with Wheeler and Gordon. Carman, Flynn and Lucia are on the 2nd line and Howe, Hueffel and White have been reunited on the 3rd line. The Howe line totally dominated the Sioux back in December. Much of the same will be needed this weekend for the gophers win as the lower lines will most likely determine how(e) this weekend goes.

As much as it pains me to say this, I see a tie and a loss for the Gophers this weekend. Friday night 3-3 tie and Saturday 5-2 loss. Either way the Sioux will leave Minnesota as a bunch of Criminal Racists and still suck.

**Dawg will be writing up a review of Fridays game as he will be taking the game in live from Mariucci. Look for that early next week. Dawg, will you be wearing a #95 gophers jersey?**

Bucky Time...Yawn!

It's "Board Battle" time in the WCHA. The Gophers and Badgers will face off this weekend at the Kohl Center in Madison, Wi in a battle of 5th place teams. If either team sweeps this weekend the other will most likely spend the first weekend of the WCHA playoffs on the road.

MN is coming off Defensively their best weekend of the year. Last weekend vs UMD the Gophers only allowed 2 goals the entire weekend. A lot of this had to do with the Gophers below average defenders playing simple and smart hockey instead of trying to make plays. Another reason for only allowing 2 goals was Jeff Frazee only touched the ice when he came out to slap Kangas on the ass at end of each period. The highlight of the weekend was FSN zooming in on Frazee in his suit friday night and the uncomfortable smile Frazee forced out as he tried to look normal. What a turd!

My lasting memory from last weekends tie was the goal Derek Peltier should have scored Friday night. For those who missed the play here is a recap. A wing (I believe Barriball) skated down the right side of the ice towards the UMD goal. Once UMD's goalie committed to the puck the winger slid the puck back in front of the goal for an easy tip in. The only problem was the guy trying to tip the puck into a completely wide open net was Stone Hands Peltier. This is one of the few times in sports that I can say "even I would scored that goal" and it is no exaggeration. WWWWWWW missing this goal is the equivalent of you missing a dunk on the nerf hoop that hangs on your bed room door.

Note to Peltier: Please remove the captains "C" from your jersey and just step away from the team. You are an average player at best, a terrible leader, have stones for hands and have the same attitude as those guys in high school who where on the football team but never played and still thought they "kicked Ass." Live it up while you can Derek, next year you will be selling me my peanuts at games.

This weekends series will most likely be a low scoring affair similar to last weekend. No matter how much talent Wisconsin has their coach (Mike Eaves) plays a defensive system that makes the MN Wild look the Oilers of the 80's. If either team scores 3+ goals in a game they will win.

Wisconsin does have some very high end talent on their roster led by Kyle Turris. Turris was the 3rd overall pick by the Phoenix Coyotes in the 2007 NHL Draft. Turris leads all Wisconsin players in scoring with 24 points in 20 games. Ryan McDonagh (Cretin Grad) and Brendan Smith were also 1st round draft picks last year and anchor the Badger defense. Junior Ben Street the other big threat for Wisconsin. Street has already matched his goal total from last year (10) and currently is the team leader. Wisconsins powerplay sucks like Dawg in volleyball. But even that level of sucking still puts them at a higher percentage than MN. Take that Wisconsin...we suck better than you!

Basically this has potential to be the most boring hockey series in 100 years. I would expect a split with both teams being so similar and shitty. MN wins 3-1 tonight and Wisco wins 2-1 tomorrow. With few goals and the style of play you are going to watch, this is going to have the feel of a soccer match, not a hockey game. Both games are live on FSN this weekend.

- This struck me as funny so I attached it for your reading pleasure. The article was taken from madison.com.

Bucky Badger took a tap on the shins from a North Dakota hockey player on Saturday and now the University of Wisconsin mascot will receive an apology.

WCHA commissioner Bruce McLeod said Sioux defenseman Joe Finley was captured on videotape slashing Bucky Badger played by UW student David Blanchard before Saturday's game, which North Dakota won 3-1.

The commissioner made no ruling on a separate incident in which Blanchard and Sioux goaltender Jean-Phillippe Lamoureux bumped into each other.

Finley must write a letter of apology to Blanchard, McLeod said.

Notice it is another Sioux player getting in trouble. Nice program! When Finley is done beating up fury mascots he should move to the handicapped section and start hitting mouth breathers. F'ing no talent twat!

- WWWWW, You are a communist pig for never watching Rocky 4. Possibly the greatest sports movie ever!