NCAA Hockey Preview #2

Seriously, what is wrong with you WWWWWW. Sarah Chalke???? Thanks to that disgusting photo I can’t even eat my donut this morning. What really pisses me off is I bought one of those really good raised donuts with white frosting and the cute little spring colored sprinkles. Now that is wasted thanks to Sarah "I am 30 pounds over weight" Chalke. You really need to step it up. Also, screw drivers are gay. Not white wine spritzer gay, just plain old gay. Why is C. Garey so angry and why does he use his entire name as a moniker??? C. Garey, I am only asking why you are so angry and I am in know way judging you. On to hockey.

Midwest Regional (Madison, Wi "greatest city on earth")

Did you know that Bogart once puked crap out of his mouth and onto his arm while road tripping it in Madison. It what just like that episode of South Park where Cartman poops out his mouth. The only difference is Cartman had an actual turd come out his mouth and Bogart had some hybrid combination of turd and #3's. I know this is disgusting, but it is also fascinating if you really think about it. You know this isn’t any worse than the picture of nasty ass Sarah Chalke. God I still feel sick. F U WWWWWW!

#1 North Dakota vs #4 Princeton- I would love nothing more then to start this preview by predicting a Princeton victory but I don’t want to look like one of those bitter guys who say Brett Farve sucks and then tries to prove it. Instead I will just say North Dakota sucks but is still really good? Either way they win this game, but I don’t think it will be a blow out. I still say North Dakota is a one team line. Anyone who shuts down the Duncan-Oshie line will be in the game with North Dakota. NoDak does have a great defense and possibly the 2nd best goalie in the country. Kangas is clearly a better goalie than Lamerioux. North Dakota wins 3-1. God knows I would love to see an upset here! Also, have you heard the internet rumor about the time Duncan and Lamerioux got real drunk and put live pocket gophers "in" each other? Sick.

#2 Denver vs #3 Wisconsin- I still can’t believe Wisconsin is in this tournament. You can take your pairwise rankings a stick them right up Sarah Chalke fat ass. However you do the math Mankato State got screwed. To top it off Wisconsin gets to play at home. F’ing Bucky cheated somehow and he will burn in hell when it comes out. Denver really should win this game but Bucky in the Kohl Center scares me a bit. I am going to pick Denver to win 2-1, but my gut is saying Wisconsin at home. Whoever wins this game wins the region, book it!

Regional Final #1 North Dakota vs #2 Denver- This game will set college hockey back 10 years. Denver will play trap hockey that makes the MLS look interesting. The beautiful part about this game will be another failure by the mouth breather Hakstol. Denver wins 2-1. With all the talents UND loses this year it will be a minimum of three years before they are title contenders again. Suckers!

Northeast Regional (Worcester, MA)

#1 Miami (shit house!) vs #4 Air Force- Miami is the classic team that puts up huge numbers all year and then goes up in a ball of flames every year at the NCAA tournament. This year will be no different. Miami does have a legit stud in Ryan Jones. Jones has scored 30 goals in 38 games this year and made the Hoby Baker top 10 list. All I know about Air Force is I watched them get out played by the Gophers back in December. At that point the Gophers absolutely sucked and where playing without the team members who where playing in the world Jr. Tournament. You know that Air Force will work real hard because that is what idiots in the armed forces do. The problem is these kids are playing for a service school because they aren’t good enough to play for a top tier program or they want to make something out of their lives other than athletics. That’s not exactly American if you ask me. Miami wins 3-2.

#2 Boston College vs #3 Minnesota. Boston College is led by Nathan Gerbe. The beauty of Nathan Gerbe is Dawg towers over him. Gerbe stands 5-6 but is skilled as hell. He is exactly the type of player the Gophers need to start recruiting. Here is a little history for you. Do you know the last time the Frozen Four was in Denver the Gophers won the NCAA title? And.....The last time the Gophers lost to Denver in the WCHA Final Five Championship they went on to win the NCAA Title. What does this mean???? Boston College wins 3-1! This is a game the Gophers can win, but my gut tells me they won’t. That is to bad because the winner of this game will move onto the Frozen Four. Saturday will also be a sad day for The Bear as he will say good bye to his all time favorite Gopher, Derek Peltier. The good news for The Bear is he will be able to have Peltier caddy his golf clubs for him this summer at Meadow Brook.

Northeast Championship #1 Miami vs #2 Boston College. Miami once again wets the bed. Boston College wins 5-2. Eat it Ryan Jones!

NCAA Hockey Preview #1

The above picture has nothing to do with NCAA hockey but I felt I had to give the readers of this blog a photo of some trashy pelt to make up for WWWWWW’s poor lack of judgement. Snacks, you will not be able to spin this photo into anything that has to do with your fetish of boy and girl love, so be on your toes until WWWWWW post another disgusting pic later tonight. There is something about girls in camo and bullets that is strangely hot. Holy Hell will definitely be soiling some of his mom’s linens after this photo.

A quick recap from my experience at last weekends WCHA Final Five Championship Game. I would like to start by thanking The Bear for allowing be to attend Saturdays Championship game basically by myself. Last weekends snow storm confused the big fella and sent him back to his cave for a couple more weeks of hibernation. Thus leaving me to attend the game with some old wrinkled bastards who have gopher season tickets next to me. To make things even worse, I was surrounded by idiotic Nodak fans (more to come on them in a minute) and what I believe was a crazy father and son combination right next to me. The father in the pair was possibly the angriest man on the face of the earth. Yes Bear, even angrier than you. All I heard the entire game was this old mean bastard of a father telling his 40 something kid what a loser he was, how drinking is bad (nice advice old man) and if the "kid" questioned his hockey knowledge one more time he was going to "knock his f’ing teeth down his throat." At that point everyone in my section got a little nervous and you could cut the tension with a knife for the next five minutes. Luckily the Gophers scored their one and only goal minutes later so the entire section could explode and release said tension.

Now to the Nodak fans. Not to generalize, but they are all a bunch of F’ing losers. To the guys in front of me who thought they where a combination of Chris Rock, Richard Prior and Chris Farley, duct taping DU over the Sioux logo on jersey is not funny. In the future you don’t need to stand up for the majority of the game laughing and taking photo’s of each other. Your bit was as old as the guys I was at the game with. Here’s a question, Why would you ever openly cheer for another rival team/school (DU) when you don’t have money on the game? The more I am around these Nodak fans the more they puzzle me. I have never seen a group of people with a bigger inferiority complex than UND fans have to the U of Minnesota. Losers! Super Sioux fan I am not lumping you into this group. You are super funny, hot and real intelligent.....especially about hockey. How do you like that for a compliment girl!

The game finished 2-1 with the Gophers losing their 4th WCHA Final Five Championship game I have attended. Other than Jesus’s play in goal the game was rather boring. The highlight of the night came afterwards when Kangas won MVP of the tournament. I cried at this point. Like anyone was going to vote against him on Easter weekend. That is enough breakdown.

The real NCAA tournament start tomorrow night when the puck drops on the NCAA hockey tournament. WWWWW, your hockey readers want to thank you for also offering a NCAA hockey contest. I guess you where out of old things laying around your house. This would have also given you a chance to redeem yourself after your basketball bracket performance. Man where your picks bad!

Here are my predictions for the NCAA tournament. Friday night the East and West regional’s begin play.

East Regional (Albany, NY)-

#1 Michigan vs #4 Niagara- This game should be a cake walk. Michigan is really, really good and Niagara is average at best. 6-1 Michigan.

#2 St. Cloud State vs #3 Clarkson- St. Cloud State has never won an NCAA game and this is by far their best opportunity to do so. The one thing St. Cloud has to do is find a way to score even strength goals. A perfect example of this was last weekend vs the Gophers. St. Cloud went 1-7 on the power play and ended up getting beat 3-2. They rely much to heavily on the power play. I still think they are to much for Clarkson. St. Cloud gets the monkey of their back and wins 4-2.

East Regional Final Michigan vs St. Cloud. Michigan is just way to deep and a much better team than St. Cloud. I am guessing Motzko and Co. will try and slow the game down a bit and that is not St. Clouds strength. If they decide to skate with Michigan they will also get out played. Their only hope is their mouth breathing goalie stands on his head and there is a better chance of WWWWW winning the DWG basketball bracket than that happening. Michigan wins 4-1.

West Regional (Colorado Springs, CO.)

#1 New Hampshire vs #4 Notre Dame- This is actually a really pesky #1 vs #4 matchup. Notre Dame is a descent team that just hasn’t clicked all season. I wouldn’t be shocked if Notre Dame pulled the upset here. The only problem is Notre Dame sucks at all sports and has about as good of a tournament record as St. Cloud. New Hampshire has frosh James VanRiemsdyk who was the 2nd overall pick in last years NHL draft. James only had 31 points this year but is extremely fun to watch when he is on his game. New Hampshire wins 3-2.

#2 Colorado College vs #3 Michigan State- This is one of the two top games in the first round of the tournament. Michigan State is the reigning NCAA champion and CC is the WCHA regular season champion. If the game wasn’t being played in Colorado Springs I would take Michigan State going away because CC also sucks in March. Because of the games location I hesitantly select CC to win 3-2. I could also see Michigan State winning 3-2. The stars of this game will be the goalies.

#1 New Hampshire vs #2 CC- Once again CC sucks in March, New Hampshire wins 3-1. That is the kind of hard hitting breakdown readers come to DWG for.

Tomorrow I will break down the Northeast and Midwest brackets. I would do it now, but I am hungrier than WWWWW before a trip to Old Country Buffet.