Golf is BACK!!

Alright bitches time to get back into golf mode. First off let me apologize for my absence, but there really hasn’t been much going on and I didn’t want to get in the way of all the great college hoop, football and drunken rant posts. So now that’s out of the way to move forward we need to look back.

Great in 2008…

See what I did there, I made a rhyme; studies show that 98% of all readers will stay with an article 23% longer when the headline rhymes. Alright so how did the year start well Danny Chopra won the opener and Camillo “100% Columbian Coffee” Villegas closed off the regular season and in between we saw Tiger win 4 times, once on a broken leg with no ligaments or cartilage, Veej/Perry won thrice and a hand full of the boys took two victories. No 2 time winner in 08’ was more memorable than the 2008 Player of the Year Paddy Harrington, I don’t care if Woods wasn’t there and I certainly don’t care that he won twice as many tournaments (one of which I must mention again was done on one leg) Harrington won two MAJORS, period. Tiger would trade his other three wins, sans US OPEN, for just one of those Majors. Harrington still stared down the best in the world including one of the hottest players in the planet at the time in Garcia at the PGA. He is just a great player and doesn’t seem to fear anyone.

Immelman, Woods, Harrington x 2 took down the Majors. The Masters took on a US Open feel. There is a new Chairman or President down in Augusta now, Billy Payne, I hope he can bring back some of the flare to what has always been my favorite Major. It is a tournament that should be won with birdies and eagles down the stretch, not bogeys and pars.

Sergio won the players; some consider that the 5th Major and I consider those people jackasses. He had a great quote though while accepting the trophy: “First I want to thank Tiger…for not being here”…classic. The Spaniard would have a good 2008 as a whole, but still needs to finish off a Major and if he keeps playing like he did in 08’ he will have many chances. Can you say the 2009 Masters, Tiger may still be out…

Ummm, the interweb says Steve Lowery won a tournament this year, hmmm great. What a debacle Els has turned into, he wins at the Honda and then fires his coach and starts changing everything. He has gotten too mechanical as most golfers do. Hopefully he gets comfortable in 09’ and has more success. He is a guy that won the US Open at 25, everyone is spoiled because Woods won Majors so early, and that is really good. He has been #1 in the world and I for one would like to see him getting more wins, especially majors. Philly took down the Crown Plaza Colonial, pretty nice since Crown Plaza also sponsors him, they probably liked that. The rest of the year was pretty disappointing, didn’t really contend in Majors, didn’t have a great Ryder Cup and spent the off-season fending off shots from Steve Williams (Tiger’s Caddy) and toying with the notion of joining the Euro tour to split his time.

Get it together Phil, win another Major, get up in Tiger’s Foreman and be that go for broke bitch titted watch wearing hair thinning but I am going to wear it long so no one notices champion everyone loves. Tiger wins the US Open, arguably one of the best tournaments I have seen in a while. I am not going to rehash it because if you missed it you should turn off the computer and go jump in front of a bus.

Stew Cink came out of the closet, what, oh well I guess he didn’t but he is a homo and hopefully this year he gets the strength to do it. Harrington then took over the next two Majors, but for 3.5 rounds across the pond Greg Norman was the story. The Shark rolled back the odometer and decided to bring some game, his putting didn’t hold out and neither did his iron play but hopefully he continues to play well and we can keep watching golf greatness for a while longer. Another oldie but a goodie reared his head at the British as well, David Duval made a splash with two impressive round, one he wanted to throw in the crapper and one that was just average none the less he is on track to playing better in the years to come.

Kenny Perry was crucified for not playing in the British and then WD at the PGA. He did however end up achieving his goal of playing in the Ryder Cup and did his home state proud. I just wish this guy wasn’t such a whiner.

Veej just kept keeping on and won a quick 10 million dollars for wrapping up the Fed Ex with two tournaments to spare. My favorite moment about Veej was when Sergio ran in like a 50 foot putt for what looked like the for sure tie maybe a win with Singh still 30-40 feet away himself and then he pours it in, pats Sergio on the belly and gives him a look as to say "you really thought you were going to win didn't you, stupid Spaniard go play with your Armada".

So DL3 posted a W this year showing the old guys can still win out there, hopefully his boy Freddie can take one down this year or just stay healthy enough to lead the boys to a Presidents Cup win. So you are all probably wondering if you looked at nothing but stats, who was the best player in 2008. Well that goes to Pat Perez, your best player overall based on stats, however just 12 top 25 finishes out of 27 tournaments played. #2 in that category was Anthony Kim, so it’s not worthless but sometimes it can be misleading.

Let’s see here, oh Annika retired. I give that retirement two years unless she pops out a kid. Michele Wie got her 09’ LPGA status by qualifying through tour school, great, stick with the chicks. The LPGA tried to enforce an English only rule, just awesome, you can’t make stuff like that up. Zinger led the US to a Ryder cup victory, Boo Weekley became a household name by doing the bull dance better than Happy Gilmore.

I am sure more happened, like all the retards that puked on themselves at PGA Q-School (closed circuit to Harrison Frazer, winner of the Q-School tournament and shot 59 in one the 6 rounds, you are really good please win a tournament this year), rundown of the Nationwide Grads but I need to get moving on to this year and since this is already going to be very very very long I will post this to keep interests up.




Doing fine in 2009…

Ok the season starts this week but it really doesn’t start until we get out of Hawaii and back to the mainland. First off the Mercedes Championship was set up to be a winner's only event, win a tournament and you are in. But something happen, the season started to get longer, guys chased money on other tours in different countries and all of a sudden this tournament doesn’t get Tiger (even when he’s healthy), no Phil and a lot of the other big names stay home to try and extend the off season. Who can blame them, Hawaii sucks with all that warmness and tropical greatness, idiots. Seriously I have no idea why you wouldn’t be drooling to play in this tournament; they pay your travel expenses, hotel, Mercedes courtesy car and free BJs at the turn. Well at least I think they get most of those things.

So, minus Tiger, Phil, Adam Scott (surfing accident led to knee injury) and Paddy we are left with 33 player field and one of those player is something called a Mark Turnesa. Need a player that can play in the wind and putt on Bermuda greens. I just found out Veej has a knee issue and will be out 5 weeks after the Benz so I won’t pick him out right. Oh I just can’t pick one, here is a trio, I will box in the trifecta: Kim, Choi and Els. Go boys and make me proud. See you here bout the same time next week.


NF

PS—If you made it this far…Here you go and thanks.

Goodbye Europe, hello Canada you F'in commies!

Well here we go the first real post, I did pen some words leading into the AT&T a couple weeks back but they were lost in the mail, for the record I picked Ryan Moore to win. Well I wasn’t even close with that one but I did say that Anthony Kim would be one to watch for, which he was. Since then a lot has happened Kenny Perry is showing he is hottest player in the world right now and something called Richard S. Johnson won the event played opposite the British (US Bank Championship) and unless you a golf geek, such as myself, you had no idea. One thing to note is that Perry skipped British to honor a commitment at the US Bank event, as he was not eligible for the British at the start of the season. Perry caught a lot of heat for this move but, as he has said, his one goal this year was to play in the Ryder Cup in his home state of Kentucky and by playing it safe and staying in the US he has probably solidified the spot on the team. Some have criticized this move but I for one think it was good; he made a plan and stuck to it. Everyone should be talking about Perry as the best player in the world right now but seemingly everyone is still stuck on the fact that Tiger is missing while Perry dating back to May 15th has played in 8 PGA tournaments, won 3 has a 2nd, two T6 finishes and 2 in the top 50. Anyway you look at it this southern bumpkin is playing some awesome golf.

So in case you missed the British it turns out it was not the year of the Sergio, but there were some seriously good story lines. Greg Norman, fresh off a divorce and remarriage to Chris Evert(she used to be hot when I was 12), contended in his first Major in eight years but alas his ever aggressive style did him in. The guy is 53 years old and yes contrary to popular belief, golf is a sport and over the course of four days of competition it takes a toll even for people like Norman. David Duval gave a preview to what I think is just the start of his comeback to golf’s main stage, a sloppy 83 in the 3rd round did him in but no one gave him a chance to be there anyway so just seeing him back on the map is a good thing. The story of course is that the bulldog Paddy Harrington defended his title as Open Champion. This guy was 50/50 to even play at the start of the week nursing a wrist injury, but when Norman faltered there was Paddy like that familiar leprechaun on the lucky charms box. His lucky charm was a 230 yard 5wd on the 17th that set him up for a kick in eagle, two putt par on the last sealed it and now Paddy has quietly risen to the #3 ranked golfer in the world. Few made any real charges at Harrington, Poulter looked like he was going to be the winner but didn’t make enough putts, no Americans really made any showing worth the price of the chartered flight they took to Europe other than Furyk and Kim but there was too much ground to make up and on a course where par was like birdie few were able to contend with the wind and severe dog legs that are Birkdale’s only defense.

So what does it all mean for this week at the RBC Canadian? Well it means that the most of the big names are not playing, we get to see real life Mounties and if anyone gets hurt there is free health care provided by the socialistic Canadian Government. I am going to be pretty boring here with the picks, Furyk is putting like a dog these days he will be there but will not complete the three-peat (try to charge me Riley), Kim will contend but he has never been in Europe and then played the next week he will be tired but could show up his critics by having a good showing, that horse tooth chump Ames will not be close on Sunday, Weir will probably lose in a playoff and the pick of the week is Bubba Watson, he hits it a mile and has been working on his short game, I think this is his time to shine.

Sleepers to watch for:
Calcavecchia (he has won before), Chad Collins (has won on the Canadian Tour) and Jeff Quinney (his mreasts rival Phil’s, seriously get the guy a manzier he needs the support).

News and Notes:
Did anyone catch Michelle Wie getting DQ’d for not signing her scorecard, this chick is probably the dumbest broad I have ever seen play the game. She tries to exude all this bravado yet she hasn’t won anything and deserves 10% of the attention she gets. She will be playing in another PGA Tour Event in two weeks, early prediction 80-77, slam the trunk kid and go back to the tour where most of the golfers look like men because you can’t hang with the real ones.

Colt Knost, he is the guy that won every conceivable high profile amateur tournament last year, won his 2nd Nationwide Tour event (think NBA Development League but the players are good) one more win and he gets promoted to the show. He is fat, has an ugly swing and has more confidence than a black man in the shower at an all white country club, he will be on the main stage soon and could get a win post completion of the Fed Ex cup.

That’s it, too much seems like too much, well F off its brilliant and you are obviously jealous. I want to thank WWWWW for allowing a complete stranger to post on his blog and Gayslam, wherever you are, for being a complete D’Bag.

NF

This is not a Good Day

No big shocker here, but I was unable to get to the Yankee/Twins game tonight at Yankee stadium. Due to a delayed flight, the worlds longest line at the rental place, incredible New York traffic, and drive incompetence by the time I got to my hotel the game was already in the third, so there was no real point. But what really makes me realize my jackassery, is that I was so focused on getting to the damn Yankee/Twin game I completely ignored the Mets. Who were playing at Shea. Shea, which I drove right past, including signs that said "All Shea Stadium Parking exit here" implying there is actually parking there. Not to mention that Johan was pitching. Against the Phillies, a team I really like. So I could have just gone to that game with little frustration. Instead, I ended up having to watch the Yankees/Twins at Hooters, the only "sports bar" in this crapass crap town. So I thought I'd be at Yankee Stadium, and ended up at Hooters. Kind of like I set out for the Louvre and found myself in Chateau d'If.

- Hooters is so crappy, I felt really dirty just being there and all I wanted was to eat some wings and watch the game. It was full of dirty old men in sweatpants who were there by themselves and couldn't tear their eyes away from the not very attractive wait staff. And the wings were terrible. And so was the service. So I left. Turns out, this shitbox hotel doesn't get YES, the Yankee network, so I can't watch the game here. But they have an option to order the DirecTV MLB ticket, so I did that for $9.99 (which my company will pay for, god bless them). But, because I'm in NJ almost NY, the game is blacked out. So there's no way I can watch it other than going back to Hooters, and I'd rather trade for LenDale White than do that. So I'm "watching" it on yahoo.

- The good news though is that I want to get the most out of my purchase, so I'm betting on all the late games. I took the Dodgers, Cubs, Angels, Red Sox, and Nationals. I had to bet on my boy Clayton Kershaw. Look out for this kid. And not the Andrew Miller kind of look out, the good kind. Also, betting websites should never, ever change their interface. It makes it very difficult for drunken degenerates.

- So yeah, I got a little lost on the way to the hotel coming out of JFK. I somehow ended up driving through Harlem, which was actually less terrifying than I would have expected. It wasn't like the movie depictions of Rwanda like I expected. Didn't see former WWF wrestler Bad News Brown there though, which was pretty disappointing. I'm still pretty sure most of NYC is still a cesspool though. Except Queens, I kind of like Queens.

- Nice to see that after I left Hooters the Twins managed to implode. This team is so horrible, don't let their record fool you, they're out performing their expected win/loss record by a good margin. It was very nice to see Span leading off and Gomez hitting ninth, though. I'm pretty sure that's the first decision Gardy has ever made that I agree with. Sidenote: listening to Yankee radio, the announcers LOVE Gardy. Love him. Like a fat kid loves cake. I totally don't get it.

- You know what really bothered me about Hooters though, was one of the slogans they had on the waitress's t-shirts. They had a bunch of different ones, and one of them was pretty good (Hooters: More than a mouthful) but the one that really pissed me off was Hooters: Delightfully tacky, yet unrefined. Um, tacky and unrefined mean pretty much the same thing, asshats. Nice marketing department. Just stick to boobs and wings and leave everything else alone.

- Don't worry, I managed to find a liquor store, so I have plenty of beer.

- So you're probably wondering about the golf tournament I played in yesterday. It did not go well. I was the best player on our team, and when that happens you know you are in major trouble - although I did chip in from about 40 yards on the first hole. We were totally outclassed, as we shot +2 while the winning score was -20. There were some rules in place to make scores a little better, which makes our +2 all the more embarrassing. Oh well, we raised money for a good cause and got to spend the day out of the office. Also, Clayton Kershaw sucks.

- At one of the upcoming games at Yankee Stadium they are giving away a "Derek Jeter Uno Deck." I really wish I was making this up. Also I just figured out that the Mariners pitcher tonight, RA Dickey, is a knuckleballer, and I love me some knuckleballers ever since Charlie Hough - and I can throw a solid one myself. Of course, guess which game isn't offered on this MLB package.

- It's not a trade that is going to get a whole lot of press, but can someone explain to me why the Astros would trade minor league prospect Chad Reineke for old man Randy Wolf of the Padres? They aren't in contention, being twelve games out in the division and ten games in the wildcard race and are a bad, bad team. It's not to save money, because Reineke is a minor leaguer with no major league service time, and Wolf will cost them somewhere around 3 million this year. It's not for the future, because Wolf is a free agent at the end of the season and has already said he'd be interested in signing with the Padres again after the season. Guess what else? Reineke isn't just some no name minor leaguer. Going into the season he was ranked as the #6 prospect in the Astros system. They're still trying to figure out if he's better suited to a starting or relieving role, but he's certainly worth more than two months of a 31-year old below average starter with a career WHIP of 1.35. Weirdest trade ever. Reineke must be a pedophile or something. The only rationale I can find anywhere is a quote from Astros GM Ed Wade, who said , "I've known Randy since the day he signed his first professional contract. I can say without hesitation that he brings every quality that you'd want in a member of your team, both on and off the field." Well, you know, except for getting batters out and such. But at least he ain't no gad durned pedophile.

- I'm watching the Nats/Giants game and it's the Washington feed, and the Nationals' GM is talking about Cristian Guzman and it's kind of like listening to John Madden talk about Brett Favre or Bert Blyleven talk about any Twin in history. On the one hand, I want to like the guy because he's referenced WHIP and multiple year statistical trends, but on the other hand he called Guzman a leader who plays the game the right way. He must be on drugs.

- I haven't written any basketball in a while, so here's a quick, non-researched take on the Big Ten: It's going to be a tough season for our beloved Gophers. Besides having the worst mascot in history, they are going to be extraordinarily inexperienced. I have high hopes for the newcomers, but it's going to be tough. Bostick looks like he'll be a good scorer, and I think Joseph and Sampson will become high quality guys, but don't know how soon. I'm not super confident in Paul Carter or Colt Iverson but I trust Tubby. I'm guessing it will take them at least a year to round into shape. If Nolen can take a step forward, it will go a long way towards helping the team, and I think DJ can be a total beast. The good news is most of the Big Ten looks like a suck. Iowa, Northwestern, Indiana, Penn State, Michigan, and Illinois will be garbage. Michigan State will be good but might take a small step back. Wisconsin is always good, no matter what their talent looks like. It's kind of a minor miracle, Bo Ryan must be some kind of jesus guy. Ohio State is reloading as if they're the football team now. Purdue looks like the team to beat, but with all the sub-mediocrity going on the Gophers could easily finish in the middle of the pack. There you go.

- I'm going to come clean here. I don't really like football that much. I watch it, I enjoy it, I dominate fantasy football, but I don't like it the way I do baseball and college basketball and even golf. I especially can't find it to get into college football. But even I know that Gopher Nation's comparison of Juice Williams to Mike Vick is harsh. Is it accurate? I don't know. I think I heard of Juice Williams once and then I laughed because his name is Juice and missed the rest of whatever they were saying.

- So, yeah, here's a preview of Step Brothers on right now. Does anyone else think Will Ferrell makes way too many movies? I mean, I think he's funny and I'm a fan, but take break once in a while. Semi-Pro was horrible, and Talledegha Nights wasn't much better. That one where he was serious wasn't good either, and Step Brothers looks like it's going to be brutal. When is he going to be funny again? I haven't laughed at Will Ferrell since this.

- Abu Shamala dominating in world competition. From the Barn has all the relevant links and comments. I don't even have anything to add. I don't have the energy. And since I'm linking all the Gopher blogs I'm aware of, PJS went ahead and did his fancy "research" and found a really solid Tubby interview. I say really solid because it sounds like the kind of thing gopher fans should read, not because I actually read it. Because I didn't. But I will. Tomorrow.

- Last Minnesota blog bit, but if I haven't recommended it before, a quality daily read is TNABACG, which I'm almost certain stands for The National Anthem Before a Cubs Game, but it's a Minnesota blog. I don't get it either, but he's a quality read. I know I have him linked on the right over there, but I want to call him out. He doesn't have us linked on his site, which probably means he has bad taste, but still, quality output. I won't hold it against him. Yet.

- I really hate people who call shoes "kicks." Don't do it.

- So I guess I usually do a thing where I say some girl is hot at some point in all this mess. The first one who comes to mind is Cobie Smulders (seen above). Worst name ever? Yes. Hot? Yes. And she's brilliant as Robin on How I Met Your Mother, a truly underrated show also starring Jason Segal of Freaks and Geeks fame whose penis I also saw far, far too often in Forgetting Sarah Marshall which was awesome and also starred the superhot Mila Kunis who was on That 70's Show which, funny, is actually on right now until I change the channel like right now because that show sucks. I also really like Maggie Gyllenhall (sp?), but I know I'm in the minority there so I won't bother posting a picture.

- ESPNU has wrestling on right now. God that's hot.

- So Nick Faldo, frequent commenter on DWG, has joined staff as our golf writer guy since Grandslam is missing in action and both Theory and Dr Acula are to wussy to write anything. Or at least I think so. We have had a communication issue over the past two weeks, but hopefully something from him shows up tomorrow for the FBR Canadian Open. You want a quick W style precap: Furyk should win, and will play well but won't. Weir won't be able to handle the home country pressure yet again, as Anthony Kim and Camilo Villegas go down to the wire, with Villegas picking up his first PGA Tour win (I think). If you're in my fantasy golf league don't take any of those guys.

- Tila Tequila should be lit on fire. I don't even know why she's famous.

- In case you missed it, Gopher sort of target and highly ranked PG Mfon Udofia comitted to Georgia Tech. It was pretty clear he wasn't coming to the Gophers, but this just makes Lacy all that much more important. Can Udofia be the next Mark Price, Travis Best, Kenny Anderson, or Stephon Marbury? I'm going to say no. He's going to hope he's the next Matt Causey.

- Sarah Chalke is still hot. Oh, Scrubs is on. Sorry. Point stands.

- You know what pisses me off? This whole Mario Kart shortage. Since I assume you aren't me, here's what's going on: You can't find it anywhere, and the few places that do get it from time to time sell out just after they open. How can there be a shortage of a game? It makes no sense. Here's what you need to make a game: a program, a CD, an amaray, a book, and a label. Do you see anything in that list at all that would suggest a shortage? Anything other than the program would suggest a whole Wii game line shortage, which hasn't happened. And considering they are pumping out a few games every couple of weeks, I don't think the program became corrupted. The only explanation is an intentional shortage by Nintendo to pump up demand. That is so aggravating. Seriously, when I eventually find this game in a store I'm still going to buy it but when I do I'm going to be all huffy about it, so take that, Nintendo.

- Please, please, please tell me this whole Blue Collar Comedy fad is over. Please. I actually prefer Croc shoes to the Blue Collar Comedy thing, especially that god damned Ron White. Also, if you have ever worn Crocs please stop reading this blog forever. Thanks.

- Remember when Jason Lee was funny?

- I think I'm pretty much done here, but one thing I thought of lately was Three True Outcomes in baseball. It refers to strikeouts, walks, and homeruns because those are the three possible pitcher/batter results that don't involve the other players on the field, in general. Guys like Adam Dunn, Rob Deer, and Russ Branyan are classic TTO guys. It doesn't necessarily mean anyone is better or worse than anyone else, it's just a thing. Interestingly, the Twins are about as far away from TTO as possible. They're in the bottom seven in MLB in all three true outcomes. Not that it means much, it's just interesting to nerds.

- Get this. I'm ready to call it a night, and I need a water because that's just what I need at the end of the night, but for whatever reason this hotel doesn't supply any and there's no vending machines either. I'm not going to drink tap water because I'm far too fancy for that so I go down to the front desk gift shop thing to get one. It's really, really small, and as I'm getting my water some d-bag comes in after me. He's sees my hat (Twins) and says "hey what's that hat." And I say "the Twins." And he says, "The Minnesota Twins?" so I say yes. Now, keep in mind I can't get past him without pushing him out of my way, not a bad option at this point. He asks if I was at the game and I say no and blah blah blah and he asks where I work after I tell him that's why I'm out here and it's a fairly well known company - keep that in mind. He asks - again - why I didn't go to the game and I tell him about getting in late and then explain the whole subway issue - you know, how you have to go down into the city and then back up and it would take two hours each way and all that. Then he says, and I'm not kidding, "So wait, you work for Subway?" Yet, if I was to punch him square in the junk, I'd be the one arrested. How is that fair?

I Heart Chicago

Really I do. It's the greatest city in the world (other than maybe Rome). And here I am, getting to fly in and do two days of training here, and do all the fun Chicago things. Flew into O'Hare this afternoon. Awesome. Except, wait. My training is not in Chicago. It's in somewhere called Naperville, a good 45 minutes to an hour outside of anything that could reasonably be called Chicago. And it's basically a poor man's Blaine. Great. At least I got a nice meal (Cajun Ribeye at Morton's) but there is nothing else to do here and I don't have a car. The good news is that they have beer in the little market thing by the lobby. The bad news is that Naperville has some kind of homosexual rule where they have to open the beer before you can take it to your room, so the max I could get at a time is four, and I'm in the room furthest from the lobby - it's like a ten minute walk back. I don't feel a whole lot of stamina tonight, mostly because Wonderbaby^TM has decided she quite enjoys crying at night, so let's see how this goes. F Naperville.

- Did you see the Blue Jays hired Cito Gaston as their manager again? I was so confused when I saw that. It was at like 4 am when I was feeding Wonderbaby^TM and watching Sportscenter, and I was wondering if I had drifted off and time travelled back to 1991. I mean seriously, the guy hasn't managed since 1997. That may not seem like much, but it's 9 years! That's almost 10. I don't even know what he's been doing since then, and I'm not going to look it up, but I'm betting it involved a street cart and some tacos of dubious quality.

- 10,000 B.C. comes out on DVD on Tuesday, and I'm telling you for your own good don't rent this. If you're a gigantic nerd like me, you were super stoked by the previews and got a nerd boner and wanted to see this. Well, I wasted my time and money in the theater and it's a huge piece of crap. I'm not going to get into a whole movie review thing here, because that's more Dawg's thing if he'd ever bother to post ever again, but let's just say that it's a mess. Theres a whole thing with a Sabertooth Tiger that is just forced and stupid, and the terrain they traverse somehow changes from frozen tundra to tropical forest to desert very quickly. That is a magical continent. Don't rent it. Don't.

- Other movies I've seen lately - SemiPro was also a huge turd, as was Fool's Gold (obviously). National Treasure 2 was also a piece of crap. I really liked the first one, but this second one just went out of it's way to try and be on a really grand scale and it did not work - at all, although Diane Kruger is quite attractive. Strange Wilderness was also bad, which surprised me because I think both Steve Zahn and that fat kid from Superbad are both quite hilarious. Juno was very good. And surprising me was a movie called Senior Skip Day which was really not bad. Mostly due to the performance of the lead character, who is basically a younger, slightly less than rich man's Ryan Reynolds (who I would probably make out with). It's kind of a Can't Hardly Wait/Eurotrip quite movie, that if I still was ever able to go out drinking all night and then come home with friends and drink some more, that would be in the late night rotation. Too bad I'm all grown up and totally responsible now.

- Speaking of not writing for this site anymore, since Grand Slam has disappeared of the map, our own Nick Faldo has offered up his services as our golf blogger. We should see his first contribution this week, so be gentle.

- The Girl Next Door is also a very good movie. I mean, I saw it a long time ago, but I'm flipping channels here and it's on FX. Good movie.

- So Curt Schilling's career is probably over. Let the Hall of Fame debate begin. Now, the biggest knock on him is he only has 216 career victories. To give a little perspective, that's less than Jamie Moyer and only one more than Kenny Rogers, neither of whom are anywhere near Hall of Famers. It is also sixth among active players, which is a note in his favor.

If you know and understand baseball and statistics, you know that wins are not the best measure of pitcher, not even close. I do, however, think they can give you a pretty good gage of a pitcher's career. Obviously, there are a lot of metrics that need to be looked at beyond that, but it is a decent surface look barometer, and Schilling doesn't really measure up.

I'm not a big believer in the 300 win barrier, as only 23 players in the history of the game have hit that number. So let's ignore things like career wins, 20 wins seasons, and all star games that idiots like to look at, and concentrate on things that matter.

First off, ERA. Now, ERA is also a fairly dubious way to evaluate a player, since it depends a lot on luck and the defense behind him, but it's not totally useless. Schilling finished in the top 10 in ERA in nine seasons - that's pretty good. Strikeouts per nine is a good way to look at dominance, and he finished in the top ten there ten times. WHIP is my personal favorite pitcher stat, and he finished in the top ten there 11 times. Eleven. That's fantastic. He posted a WHIP under 1 (phenomenal) twice, and under 1.10 nine times.

Another thing people will point to is his lack of a Cy Young award, and will point to this as not being "the best pitcher of his era." Well, he finished in the top four four times, including finishing second three times in a four year span - that's pretty dominant.

Honestly, when I started writing this, I figured no way was he Hallworthy, but now I'm a little more conflicted. He's hurt quite a bit by not becoming a full time starter until he was 26, and that's reflected in his win total, but once he did, he was absolutely one of the best pitchers of his generation. He finished with a WHIP+ over 120 twelve times, and was just incredibly consistent. Consistent at a high level.

According to baseball reference, his most similar pitchers are Kevin Brown, Bob Welch, and Orel Hershisher. That sounds like a pretty good pitcher, one of the best in the league for a stretch, but not a hall of famer, and that's pretty much my impression of him. Now, the big X-factor for Schilling is his postseason performance, which is nothing short of phenomenal. In 19 career postseason starts and 133.1 innings, he's posted a WHIP of 0.97 (and a 10-2 record). Just to put that WHIP into a lit bit of perspective, since Schilling broke into the league, just only nine pitchers have had a season where they pitched that many innings and posted a better WHIP (Greg Maddux (3), Pedro Martinez (5), Randy Johnson, Johan Santana, Kevin Brown, Roy Halladay, Jason Schmidt, Bret Saberhagen, and Pascual Perez?). Cherry-picking stats? Yes. But still makes an interesting point.

Basically, I think Curt Schilling is stil not a hall of famer (although baseball reference disagrees), but it's a hell of a lot closer than I originally thought. Another very interesting case is Mike Mussina, but I'll save that for another time.

- Speaking of Mussina, I just finished an interesting book by John Feinstein called "Living on the Black" which follows both Mussina and Tom Glavine around last season to give a little insight into the life on an aging pitcher. Honestly, although I love baseball books and I love Feinstein and I have a mad crush on Mussina, it was a little boring. His big mistake was just following the two pitchers and never delving into the lives of their teammates. Despite having a season where Glavine won number 300, the Mets had a historic collapse to end the season, and the first time ever Mussina was pulled from a starting rotation, it's still really slow. Needed to flesh out a little more of the teammates and what life was like for all of them. So not bad, but not great. Next up: 3 nights in August starring Tony LaRussa - although right at the start the author, Buzz Bissinger of "I hate blogs" fame goes into how people who are into statistics to evaluate baseball players "don't get it", so I'm already a bit apprehensive.

- On the way to the office today, they KFAN guys were talking about Jessica Simpson. At one point they mentioned her music, and I have spent the rest of the day trying to think of a single song of hers, and I got nothin'. Seriously, I can't think of a single song she has ever sang, ever. So her entire musical career has left zero imprint on my life. Killer rack, though.

- I was described by a co-worker today as "the quintessential really smart guy who doesn't fully apply himself because he doesn't have to." Pretty accurate. Not exactly high praise, but I'll take it.

- You know how when you're in a hotel, often times they will have labels on the tv stations, so when you change channels you'll know what channel you're on? Well this hotel has them, but they are all wrong. It says ESPN, but it's A&E. It says HBO, but it's USA. What the f is up with that? Your stupid city doesn't suck enough, you have to f with me on the tv too? It's all I have. Thank god for the internet.

- With the NBA draft just a few days away, I should probably say something, but I'm having trouble being interested, even with the Wolves having third pick because they will just screw it up. Here is Chad Ford's latest mock draft and I have some things to say.

1. Rose should definitely be the pick at #1. Beasley looked incredible last year, but things seemed really be really easy for him. Once he hits the NBA, he's going to have to work his ass off, and it's not clear if he's up to the challenge, whereas Rose appears to be. Stupid? Yes, pretty much, but when two players are this close, you have to find some kind of seperation somewhere.

2. Please don't take OJ Mayo. Please either trade down (great move) or take Jerryd Bayless. And it has nothing to do with Mayo's "character issues" because "character issues" are pretty much the most overrated thing ever. I'll take talent over charity work every time. Bayless is and will be a better player. Plus, and everyone seems to be ignoring this, Mayo will absolutely not resign in Minnesota after his first contract is up. Craves the spotlight waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much.

3. Going way too high: Eric Gordon, Mario Chalmers, Kosta Koufos, Robin Lopez, Mareese Speights. Interesting is to see Joe Alexander in the lottery. I expected him to be more of a sleeper mid-first pick, and I love his game. It seems Chad Ford might be figuring this whole thing out, I'll be interested to see if NBA GMs can do the same and take him that high. I'm predicting a Brady Quinn-like freefall.

4. The Wolves have two very early second round picks (#1 and #4), the kind where you can actually get solid players. According to Ford, they will get Devon Hardin and some dude from Australia, while NBADraft.net has them taking some Serbian dude and Bill Walker. I'd be pretty happy with Hardin and Walker. Ideally, I'd love to see them get Walker and Courtney Lee. Another intriguing possibility is Mike Taylor, formerly of Iowa State who lit the Gophers up at the Barn. Honestly, if Walker is there and they pass I'm going to assassinate Kevin McHale. Not kidding.

- Of course, NBADraft.net also has Trent Plaisted being drafted, and I'm almost positive he pulled out of the draft. Checking ESPN and I'm wrong, it was Lee Cummard who pulled out. Way to go Plaisted, enjoy being this years Rickert. Twenty bucks says the Jazz take him at #53 and then Boozer punches him in the face in a pickup game.

- There's more to talk about and tell you why everybody else is wrong, but I'm very tired, even though it's early, and the lady with the beer is very far away. More tomorrow.

Golf at the Blue Monster.

More of the good ole Grandslam babble for our golf fans this week:

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Let's start this week of with a little word of wisdom from our own N. Faldo last week with this statement......"WWWW great jab, GS do you know how to use the shift+letter to capitalize? Thanks for the dazzling recap and stretch pick of Eldrick, which if you are a degenerate gambler, like the rest of the group on the site seem to be, you would know that to pick against the field; unless its the Master's, US Open at Pebble, British at St. Andrew's, PGA at Merion, any event linked to Buick or any event played at Firstone CC, is a bad pick even when it's Tiger. March Madness is all around us yet the twins guy and hockey dude have poured their hearts out with no thoughts of just mailing it in. Come on and get the oars in the water kid."

Seriously "Faldo", week after week you just continue to stick your foot in your mouth. Just remember this, I.......Grandslam am a great golfing mind!

Tiger Woods seems to amaze me week after week. The guy has a 7 shot deficit after 36 holes to the #10 player in the world Vijay Singh, and come Sunday he would make Vijay into a non-factor.

Of course Tiger Woods being one for the dramatic did it again on Sunday. On the 72nd hole tied for the lead, he hit it to about 30 feet on his approach. And what a surprise the only person dumber than our own "Nick Faldo" is Johnny Miller. Am i the only one that can't stand this guy?? So Tiger hits it to 30 feet and Johnny Miller says "there is a 90% chance that this tournament is going to a playoff."

So i hear this and run off to do something for about 5 minutes tops and when i come back the damn news is on, and i was pissed. Sure as shit, Tiger would knock it in, in dramatic fashion like the #1 player in the world would. ATTENTION PGA Tour record books, clear alot of space for Mr. Eldrick "Tiger" Woods. As if we didn't know this already, but this guy is going to shatter every single big time record there is on the PGA Tour.

The guy is 31 or something and just tied Ben Hogan with his 63rd career victory, with only Jack Nicklaus and Sam Snead left in his way to being the all-time winningest golfer. Tiger has separated himself so far from the rest of the field right now, that it is ridiculous. That being said I have asked the question once, but could Tiger win every tournament he starts in this year?? Could he win the career grandslam again, but all in the same year?? These are some questions that only time will tell, but it will be fun to watch.

The best players in the world will travel south to Miami for the CA-World Golf Championships at Doral and the famed Blue Monster. This tournament year after year always seems to come down to the 18th hole which is always one of the if not the toughest hole on the PGA Tour. When describing the 18th, i heard someone describe it as "safe haven on the 18th hole is about as easy to find as a calm mortgage lender. With no bailouts anywhere on the hole and a green that's shaven tightly and sloping straight into the water, With the 18th hole again prove to show its ugly fangs and end someones dream about winning a World Golf Championship. With this type of format we are guaranteed again this week to see one of the strongest fields in Golf, which will make for an exciting 4 days.

Quite frankly i would have to be a complete idiot not to, so my pick to win this week is Tiger Woods. I will keep picking this guy week after week until he proves me wrong. However i have a sneaky pick this week and that's the "spiderman" Camillo Villegas. Oh and this week there is also an inaugural event being played aside from the CA with the Puerto Rico Open, you don't care and i don't care but i'm still gonna try and pick a winner. That is, and going way out on a limb will pick Pablo Martin!

Enjoy the big dance this week and watch a little golf, it will be good!!!

-Grandslam

PODS

Well, well, well. Being a "great blog mind", i was thinking to myself all weekend how i would start this weeks blog off. Nothing was really coming to mind, until I remembered Nick Faldo a.k.a. a big dumbass who clearly knows nothing about golf telling me that Matt Kuchar was gonna win this weekend, HA! Here's this Faldo guy giving me shit because i picked Luke Donald (2nd), but he was gonna pretend he had a great PGA tour mind and pick Matt Kuchar (T43 or some crap.....what he clearly did down his leg Sunday) So "Nick" who's your pick this week???

Now that i got that off my chest, let's talk some golf. This year's Honda Classic was a definite one to remember. For the first time since 2004 "The Big Easy" Ernie Els got back in to the win column on the PGA Tour. Being the top ranked player in the field, his ath to victory was not as easy as some might think. With former Honda Classic Champion Luke Donald and former PGA tour winner Mark Calcavecchia hot on his heels all day Sunday, Ernie knew he would have to play a mistake free final round. With a final round 67 and a little case of "Calc" pooping down his leg on 15, Els let the field know he is getting back to where he belongs. Did i mention that Matt Kuchar finished T43?? Just want to make sure everyone knew that.

One player i was extremely impressed with over the week was the young Australian Matt Jones, whoooooooooooo??? This was my first thought. This kid has now made 6 of 6 cuts this year, he's got a great swing and a whole lot of upside. Being in contention for the first time in his career clearly got to him Sunday, but when this kid learns how to close your gonna be hear alot from this guy.

This week the Tour heads to the Innisbrook Resort and Golf Club for the 2008 PODS Championship. This weeks sponsor got me to thinking if "Nick Faldo" guy just shoved himself in a POD after that ridiculous prediction from last week. Anyways, this years field on paper looks to be one of the strongest of the year to date. This year like every year at the copperhead course will come down to who's hitting the ball the best this week. This course with its tree lined fairways is all about finding fairways if your going to score well, and placing the ball in the right spot on the greens to give yourself the best chance at birdies. My pick to win this week is Floridian Joe Durant. If he can get the flat stick rolling, I look for him to have a good week. And I'm gonna have an honor mention pick, and that is the big swede Carl Pettersen.

- Grandslam