I'm sad? No, you're sad!

Drinking at home. Go me.

- In case you missed it or didn't want to hunt around the internet, Devron Bostick won the dunk contest and Lawrence "LDUB $ SIKC 6" Westbrook won the three point contest at the Gophers' Before Midnight Madness hoo-ha. If you want more details, you can get plenty from the nerds over at The Gopher Hole. Lot's of good info, and I'm very excited about the reaction to Paul Carter, who I was expecting the least out of among the newcomers this year. Granted the Gopher Holies are generally pretty optimistic, but it sounds good to me.

- Speaking of nerds, From the Barn has a very nice rundown of Tubby's Tip-Off with more details than you could ever need. I don't particularly feel comfortable with his Kevin Love comparison, but pretty good stuff in general. Also be sure to check out his player-by-player preview of the 2008-2009 season. Not featured: praise for Kevin Payton. Except that he's tall.

- This is freaking unbelievable. TBS is showing the Steve Harvey show right now because they're "having technical difficulties" and aren't able to show the Sox/Rays game. Bull. F'ing. Crap. This is some kind of pro-Red Sox conspiracy, I know it.

- Remember Kenny George? The 7-7 behemoth from UNC-Asheville? The guy who's pro scouting sheet read:
PROS: Really tall. Has both feet.
CONS: Everything else
Remember him? Well, update your cheatsheets, because he just had part of his foot lopped off. Apparently he had some sort of bad ass infection or some such. He should probably wash his feet better, but I bet it's tough when you're so far away from them. Should probably use a stick.

- Bossman Junior Upton just hit a homerun that I can't watch. But on the bright side, Steve Harvey is funny.

- I'm kidding. No he's not. And if you just agreed with that what I said up there then you should probably stop watching TV.

- Hey whoever this announcer is, they do not call James Shields, "Big Game James." That's James Worthy. And now announcer #2 even brings up Worthy, and acknowledges and condones the stolen nickname, which is only ok if you're LaDainian Tomlinson. Homerun Youkilis. Nice pitch, Worthy.

- I'm a wee bit concerned about my boy Rico. Checking out the report on Pepperdine's Midnight Madness, there's nary a single mention of King Rico. He didn't participate in the dunk contest, despite winning it last year, and was also absent from the three point contest, despite being able to make it rain. There is a play-by-play of the intrasquad scrimmage available, and he doesn't show up there either. There is no mention of an injury anywhere on Pepperdine's site.

I was concerned, so I checked out his facebook page, and he seems to be in good spirits as he recently changed his status to read, "Rico Tucker is the New King of Everything." I can't say I disagree. I may have found a clue, however, in a mysterious message left on his page by Moe Hargrow. It reads,

"my niggga...wus hood? yea back on the book to keep in tune wit the rest of the world. As for me back across the water for another season"

Perhaps if I can decipher this cryptic message I will find the answers I seek.

- Did I ever tell you that Mrs. W is a Red Sox fan? So embarrassing.

- What's best: Cheez-Its, Cheese Nips, or Goldfish?

- I was going to write about how the Twins were lucky at this point to not have gotten Jacoby Ellsbury in a Santana trade, since he OPS+'d just 89 and was basically nothing more than a fast, excellent defensive center fielder with no real pop and lacking an understanding of the strike zone. Then I realized how familiar that sounded, except Gomez was even worse at the plate.

- Tonight's post is brought to you by Monica Keena:As seen in such films as Freddy vs. Jason and some other movies that don't matter.

- F v J was actually a pretty good movie by the way. Of course, I'm a huge Friday the 13th fan, but in my totally biased opinion it was one of the better ones in either series. Quite clever how they wrote it up to get those two together, and a very good ending. Unlike the new Indiana Jones movie. More on that Monday.

- Are you telling me we're all paused and what not here because of an Umpire's injury? What happened? Did he actually call a strike and it caused massive chest pains? We had flipped away so now I'm all confused. Much like the new Indiana Jones movie.

- Basically they're just freezing Shields at this point. Thank god he's Big Game James and this ain't no thing for him. I still don't know what the hell happened, but we're back.

- Is there a worse hitter right now than Jason Varitek? He's completely lost up there. It's like watching Snacks try to hit a lefty in town ball. He hit all of .220 this year, with an OPS+ of 74 and has gone 3-14 and 0-14 in the two playoff series so far. Note: That OPS+ of 74 is in the same basic region as Carlos Gomez this season. But according to Snacks he has 30 homerun potential, so look out world.

- Crawford steals second, which means Varitek can't hit nor can he throw runners out. Having trouble figuring out why he's even on the team at this point.

- You know, I've heard a whole assfaceload of times about how Cliff Floyd is just a winner, and he wins everywhere he goes. Well, what happened in 1995 (66-78)? 1998 (54-108)? 1999 (64-98)? 2003 (66-95)? And there's a bunch of other sub .500 seasons in there too. Plus, he just grounded out here in the fourth with the tying run on second, so it's clear he doesn't "win everywhere he goes" but he doesn't even know how to win and probably doesn't even want to win. What a dick.

- Nevermind about Varitek, he just threw out Navarro. Dioner Navarro. The opposing catcher. He has five career steals and his middle name is Favian, I sure as hell hope you can throw him out. Why the holy mother hell is he stealing in the first place? I hope that was a busted hit and run. I'd know, but Mrs. W got all antsy so we're watching the Office now. That Creed is a funny Mofo.

- As I typed that Jason "Sweet Cheeks" Bartlett goes deep to tie the game, and once again assures me that our Bartlett vs. Varitek Total Bases bet will be a win.

- WTF? Seriously?

- That was awesome how Bartlett couldn't make a throw to first there, leading to another Boston run. It's like watching the Tigers against the Cardinals two years ago, they're just giving it away.

- God, fine. Here's another Wonderbaby (TM) picture:
I don't know. Eating a fake pig. She's not a genius.

- Terrelle Pryor is the next Mike Vick.

- Holy god the Rays are pissing down their legs like Ohio State against an SEC team. Except they are actually more talented, not less. I bet I could have made a good comparison for this like an hour ago, but beer makes my brain not work so good. In any case, they're choking hard. Like your mom. There, that's a pretty good comparison.

- I'm calling it a game here. Pena just got an inside fastball from Masterson with a runner on that he should have absolutely crushed, but completely missed it and hit a horridly weak pop up. Rays suck. Go Phillies.

- I would be willing to bet $5,000 (approx. 1 week's pay) that Papelbon gets passed around the Red Sox clubhouse like Andy Dufresne in Shawshank.

- God dammit. I just, I just hate the Red Sox so much. And if they win tomorrow night all we're going here is a bunch of destiny bullshit. and just now as the game ended and the gay sox won Mrs. W started clapping and I've never wanted to toss her down a flight of stairs more than I do right now. Except right after she told me she was pregnant.

Johan Prospects Revisited

Kind of, I mean. There were a whole bunch of names thrown out as possible prospects to be coming to the Twins for Johan this offseason. I figured, since I'm bored, why not take a look at how they are performing this season.

But first, I want to do a quick book review of one I just finished, Fantasyland by Sam Walker. It's written by a sportswriter for the Wall Street Journal, who - at the time - had never played fantasy baseball, and finally decided to give it a try. Rather than playing in a local league with friends or colleagues, he wrangles himself an invite to Tout Wars, the premiere Rotissiere Baseball league in the country. It's pretty solid. His methods of preparation for the draft are a fun read, and involve a good amount of the good ole stats vs. perception debate, and when he writes about players it's a lot of fun. He does get bogged down at times talking about some of the history of fantasy baseball and describing his fellow competitors, but I suppose that's what you get in a fantasy baseball book compared to a baseball book. I mean, that stuff was interesting, but it got to be a little much. It does have some nice local flavor, as the poor bastard ended up with Jacque Jones, Doug Mientkewicz, Brad Radke, and Corey Koskie all on his team at some point in the season. I give Fantasyland a mild recommendation. Check it out.

Anyway, here's a little rundown of the prospects bandied about in Johan talks, and we'll start with the Yankees' guys:

Phil Hughes: The name that kept coming up but was allegedly not going to be included in any deal, Hughes season has been a trainwreck so far, with a WHIP north of 2.1 in 22 innings and an ERA of 9.00. Somewhat surprising, given his success in 13 starts last season and a couple of good postseason relief appearances, but it appears he may not have been ready just yet and is now on the shelf until July or so. He also gives us an excellent excuse,

"Phil Hughes will be wearing glasses when he returns to the mound to help dull the glare of the lights during night games. Hughes said he had trouble seeing the catcher's signs and is "slightly nearsighted." "When I looked through the prescription, it made a pretty big difference."

Awesome. Rather than worrying about the catcher's signs, I'd worry about throwing good pitches if I'm Hughes. His strikeout rate is way down, his walk rate is way up, and opponents are hitting .354 against him. His BABIP (batting average balls in play) is a silly .395, which will regress to the mean a bit, but when 29% of the balls opponents hit off you are line drives, your BABIP is going to be high.

Ian Kennedy: Hughes is pretty much the only guy who could make Kennedy's season look good so far. At one point he seemed very likely to be headed the Twins way, he's looked like garbage, posting a 1.79 WHIP and a 7.27 ERA after cutting it by more than a run following his outing Thursday night. He finally put up a decent outing, going six innings and only giving up one run. His control has been god awful, throwing out 25 walks in 35 innings, which is not a problem he had in the minors.

Melky Cabrera: The CF to go along with Ian Kennedy in a package which I hated. I believed Cabrera's upside was a merely average center fielder, and now that he's become the Yanks' regular CF, he's shown me nothing. He's actually been slightly below average this season, putting up .242/.322/.422 for an OPS+ of 96. He does have six homeruns, and shows good plate discipline with 15 walks so far. I'm pretty much sticking with an upside of "average."

Other assorted Yankee Crap: A few other names thrown about from the Yankee system include P Jeff Marquez - promoted to AAA this season and getting shelled, P Alan Horne - hurt all year and pitched in only two games so far in triple A, and OF Austin Jackson - OPSing .780 in AA with just two homeruns in 171 ABs.

Basically, right now all the pieces from the Yankee offers are looking like crap. Any of these guys could still develop into a very good player, except Cabrera, but this season they look terrible. How about the Sox?

Clay Buchholz: I don't remember for sure, but I don't think he was ever actually on the table. I kind of wrote about Buchholz while writing about Reusse, but it boils down to the fact that Buchholz hasn't had anywhere near the success he had last season. He's struggled with injuries and a 1.63 WHIP, but his BABIP is a big .376, which should come down along with the rest of his metrics. I still think Buchholz is the best prospect out of this whole mess.

Jon Lester: He tossed a no-hitter already, so obviously he's doing something right and it's more than just beating cancer. Although his K/9 is down a bit, but has increased is groundball percentage from 34% to 50%, and correspondingly his home run rate is way down as well. He's pitching very well this year, and is looking like a top level prospect.

Jed Lowrie: The shortstop I was very excited about getting, mainly because the Twins haven't had a good one in years and Adam Everett hasn't exactly stopped that trend. Got the call to the bigs this year, and in 42 ABs has put up .310/.340/.476. Small sample size, yes, but he certainly hasn't look overmatched at the big league level.

Jacoby Ellsbury: Kid has followed up last postseason with a excellent beginning of the season so far. In fact, I'm going to go ahead and call him the next Ricky Henderson. A line of .291/.396/.426 for an OPS+ of 122 to go along with 4 homeruns, 19 steals, and 23 walks. An OBP 100 points higher than his BA gives me a serious boner. He's in the top 30 in walk rate this season and top 40 in not swinging at balls outside the strike zone, and he's only 24 years old. Add in his rugged good looks, and I think I have a serious crush.

Justin Masterson: Kind of a throw-in to the Boston trades, he's been called up to make a couple of starts for the Red Sox when they needed him to fill in. He's gone at least six innings in each, giving up just one run each time on the way to a 0.97 WHIP and 1.46 ERA.

Ryan Kalish: Another throw-in prospect type, this one isn't having quite the same success. Kalish is in A ball for the third straight year, and is putting up just .255/.342/.363. On the bright side, in his minor league career he's 25-28 stealing bases.

Coco Crisp: Blah blah blah he's an excellent defensive player and an above averge hitter. boring.


So there you have it. If they could have pulled the trigger on the Ellsbury, Masterson, Lowrie deal, that would have been the one to get, and I prefer that very much over what the ended up with. Hopefully I'm wrong, and Gomez will be the next Ricky Henderson and the three pitchers all end up good.

By the way, if you're looking for someone to have a monster rest of the season, look out for Marlins' pitcher Andrew Miller. You heard it here first.