I'm not dead

Not yet anyway. I appreciate the concern Bear. As sad as it is to admit, I did indeed take it easy last night and hit the bed early. Fortunately, tonight is different. I don't have to leave the hotel for my flight home until 11:30 tomorrow morning. After tooling around Queens and Brooklyn all day checking out stores, we had a very nice dinner in Manhattan (Grilled Swordfish, really excellent) where I had a couple nice drinks, followed up by some beers in the hotel bar where I showed why I never play pool. I have some Coors Lights in the hotel sink on ice, and am ready to write random, mostly uninteresting comments whilst watching the Spurs/Lake Show.

- First off, here's something annoying. We're in Queens and Brooklyn all day, and when it comes time for lunch, my co-workers have zero interest in hitting up any kind of local establishment. Every place we pass that looks interesting is either too dirty, too weird, or I've never heard of that place. So guess where we eat? Applebees. I like to very cleverly call it "Crapplebees." Feel free to use that. So annoying. I don't understand why you'd go all that way from home and eat at a chain, and a god awful chain at that. I was surprised when we were in Manhattan that they didn't suggest one of the 8 million Sbarro's we passed or the "fancy" Olive Garden in Times Square.

- The awesomest thing ever - Beer Pong coming to the Wii, which I own, as I am awesome.

- The Wolves got the third pick in the draft, which is actually what I was hoping for. If they got one or two, they'd end up with either Beasley or Rose, and whoever they ended up taking would end up being a bust. This way they can take Jerryd Bayless who is going to be the Chris Paul of this draft. The two other dudes who might be taken instead would be OJ Mayo or Brook Lopez. Mayo runs funny, and Lopez is a tall white dude. Consider the history of tall white college dudes in the NBA, and in particular consider this franchise's history with white centers. Granted, the statistician in me realizes past performance isn't indicative of future behavior in this case, but his name is Brook. That can't be good. Now, if it was Brooks, like Brooks Robinson, you'd have something here. The only other athlete ever named Brook was baseball legend Brook Fordyce, career OPS+ = 82. So yeah, history isn't on your side here.

- With apologies to stepping on Dawger's toes ever, you know, if he ever reviewed movies anymore, I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall last weekend instead of the Narnia movie. I have to highly recommend it. It's like a date movie, but a guy kind of date movie if that makes sense. It's not funny out loud constantly laughing like Superbad, but it's very funny in it's own way, and Jason Segal is nails as the lead - plus you get to see his junk like 100 times. As a bonus, both Kristen Bell and Mila Kunis are very hot, especially Kunis (see above). It's like she played that girl on that 70's show, then disappeared for five years, and then reappeared as a top five girl on the WWWWWW list. Fun, stalkerish fact: she has two different colored eyes.

- Speaking of movies, how is there another Hulk movie coming out? Didn't they just do this like two years ago and it bombed? And there are billboards all over Times Square for this thing. I don't get it.

- Is there a more worthless player than Bruce Bowen? The dude is known for his defense which basically consists of holding and pushing the other player, and supposedly he's a good three point shooter but get this. They just kicked the ball out to him on the wing for three, wide open, and he wouldn't take the shot even though the Lakers weren't guarding him. The announcer guy mentioned that he won't shoot the three from anywhere but the corner. What the f is up with that noise?

- Back to Bayless, who else is going to be the "point guard of the future" for this team? Telfair? Please. He'll be arrested for something in the next year or so, and even if not, he'll be hurt. And last year he shot a less than stellar 40% from the field, which was THE BEST OF HIS CAREER. Seriously, Snacks, get off Telfair. And Foye is the other choice, but he's a shooting guard and let's not pretend otherwise. Oh, and Jaric would probably be good to party with, but not to run a team. And if you doubt my rookie NBAers prowess, just remember how I predicted Corey Brewer to be the third best rookie this year - second after Oden went down - and he ended up with nary a vote in the rookie of the year balloting.

- Home cooking in full effect in the Western Conference Finals. With one minute left and a 2 point game, Duncan - who is the world's biggest crybay homo, by the way - grabbed a rebound and got slapped on the arm and the ball went out of bounds. Not only no foul, but ball to the Lakers. Frighteningly bad officiating. It's like that one cheater guy whose name I don't remember right now is back.

- Hey Nick Blackburn fans, what happened? And please, spare me your "only one of those runs was earned" bs. Dude got killed. 6 hits and 7 runs given up in the sixth. Good to know I won't have to hand over the keys to the blog to that jackass Dawger.

- You know who doesn't get nearly enough play? Arky Vaughn.

- Seinfeld/Simpsons is on zero channels right now, whilst Sex and (in?) the City is on two channels. How the f does this happen? And Kristen Davis is on Letterman. Sweet mother of the holy baby infant jesus.

- In case you missed it, ESPN gives the Gophers the #25 recruiting class in hoops for next year. I'd love to do some research into the classes above them and compare, but dude, I'm drunk. Why don't you f'ing go do it yourself, ass.

- Remember when Adam Sandler was funny? Seriously, this Zohan movie looks like something Eddie Murphy would crank out. Sorry Bogart/Dawg. For those other of yous, if you want to check out an under the radar awesome Sandler flick, rent/buy Bulletproof.

- In my semi-drunken stupor, I've finally done something I've always wanted to do and sponsored a player page at baseball-reference.com (the online baseball encyclopedia). The player chosen for this prestigious honor: Scott Stahoviak. As of this moment, the message isn't showing up as they need to audit it to make sure I don't say "ass" or "tits", but it should be there shortly. Simply awesome.

- Funny thing about the sponsoring, is that Stahoviak is only $5 per year (we have him locked up for 2 years, BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABY!), but Rich Becker (aka Bitch Wrecker) is $10 per year. Probably because if I remember correctly he's some coach for some team, whereas Stahoviak is coaching a high school team now (Carmel Catholic High School in Illinois). Chip "Chiper" Hale is only $5 too. Jack Cust is also available, but he's $90 per year. $90. Jesus. Nick Punto is sponsored by a Twins message board that bills itself as The Scccrappiest Twins fans on the interweb. Pretty active too. Never heard of them though. One of the first posts on there points out how 319 major leaguers have home runs this year, but Mauer and Delmon aren't two of them. I think I dig those guys.

- Are you wondering where Jerry Holman is now? Me too. After playing in Turkey for three years, he's now landed in Qatar. I guess they have basketball there now. Guess who else is on that team? Mo Hargrow. Other notable names in that league, assorted amongst the Al-Muhammeds and El-Hadads, include nobody I've ever heard of. I'm thinking Dusty and Rick's Australian YMCA could come into this league and roll on undefeated. And somebody would probably get shot, but whatever.

- Continuing on this theme, Travarus Bennett is currently playing in Switzerland. Others in his league include Rashard Lee (Tennessee), Sheray Thomas (Kentucky), and Ray Henderson (Clemson). Not exactly top shelf.

- Is there a creepier movie trailer out there right now than The Strangers? Or Ever? Jesus Christ, just the preview scares the poop out of me. And then they choose Liv Tyler for the lead actress? She's scary enough by herself.

- Last year, prior to the draft, I predicted that that year's Rick Rickert would be JamesOn Curry of Oklahoma State. He ended up being picked in the second round, 51st overall by the Bulls, four picks before where Ricky went. This season Curry played 29 total minutes, with a grand total of 7 points. NBA.com has Rickert with career totals of 6 minutes and 3 points, all with the Pistons. Expect Curry to rip up the Australian League sometime soon.

- Bernie Mac's best movie role was pretty clearly Big Perm.

- Current NBDL allstars: Tony Gipson (LSU), Errick Craven (USC), Billy Thomas (KU), Wendell White (UNLV), Taurean Green (FLORIDA), Jelani McCoy (UCLA, career minor leaguer and awesome shot blocker), DJ Strawberry (maryland), Julius Hodge (NC State and got shot so he's tough like fitty), Darius Washington (Memphis and nice free throws ass), and Nick Fazekas (NEVADA).

- I don't know what's up with Grandslam, he keeps telling me he's "busy" with "work." I'm pretty sure that's code for his new Indian girlfriend (dot not feather) has him wrapped around her little finger. Point of fact, I'm looking for somebody to write a guest golf column. Nick Faldo, I'm looking at you. Or Theory. Or Dr. Acula. Or Stork.

- Jelani McCoy, by the by, was absolutely the best shot blocker I've ever seen in my college basketball watching history. He couldn't do much else, and he was born in Oakland, which is without question the worst city in the history of cities. Dude hooked on with the NBA for a bit (several teams) but sucked and could never stick, since he couldn't block shots in the NBA. In eight extremely partial NBA seasons, never got over a 1 block per game average, despite four good chances to be a contributor. Shame. Probably the weed.

- There is now an infomercial on with a toll free number asking "if you've been a victim of witchcraft please call 1-888-332-4141".

- FIN. Thanks for reading, nerd.

Still Going

Dammit that sucked, but I still have a bunch of beer, and thanks to my sports package I can still watch UCLA/Oregon State and St. Mary's/San Francisco, the last two chances I have to try to salvage an absolutely horrible gambling day. I'll keep drinking and posting and try to not kill myself.

- I guess it's a testament to how far the program has come, in that I care so much and actually believe in this team. It was clearly a huge mistake. They play tough defense, and they hustle on both ends, but they just don't have the players (thanks Monson). Even Nolen and Hoffbauer looked like freshman tonight. Give a lot of credit to Ohio State's defense, they basically stifled the Gophers the whole way.

- I always considered Jamar Butler a shooting guard, and even though he went off tonight for 27 points and 9 assists, he also turned it over five times. I maintain he's still a shooting guard forced to play point, Gopher shredding aside.

- Looks like Tubby has given up on Shamala and Payton, and I think that's the right call. I think Shamala can contribute against certain teams where his lack of athleticism isn't a liability, but I'm not sure where you can play Payton. At first, I was thinking that some of the combinations Tubby had out there tonight were horrible coaching decisions, but after thinking about, there aren't that many good players on this team at all, so you're going to end up with bad combinations no matter what. However, I still think having Nolen and Hoffbauer in the backcourt together against a defense like Ohio State's for ten minutes is a mistake.

- UCLA/Oregon State isn't on yet because Oregon and USC are in overtime. I'm guessing this is much more better. Except it wasn't because USC blew them out in overtime and won by 9.

- In case you're wondering about that YMCA league that Dusty Rychart is playing in in Australia, here are the other people who play in that league who are interesting: Derrick Alston (also known as "The guy from Duquesne on NBA Live 95"), Larry Abney (Fresno St), Mike Chappell (Michigan St), Ebi Ere (Oklahoma), Orien Greene (Flordia/UL-Laff), Rod Grizzard (Oklahoma), Shane Heal (giggle), Julius Hodge (NC State - and he got shot), Nick Horvath (Duke), Alex Loughton (ODU), Kirk Penney (Wisconsin), Rick Rickert (Rickert and Rychart reunited), Joe Shipp (Cal), Wayne Turner (Kentucky).

- Ebi Ere and Kirk Penney are the top scorers in the league (Rickert = 16th), Rickert is also second in rebounding, while Rychart is ninth in rebounding and first in offensive boards. Told you in was a YMCA league. Also, Orien Greene leads in turnovers and is second in fouls. He should probably be an accountant or something.

- San Fran is down 25 and Oregon State is hanging with UCLA. It seriously looks like I'm about to go 2-8-1 tonight. Not good times.

- Ferris Bueller's Day off was a great movie. I wonder how many poor kids got named Ferris after that.

- It seems the name Ferris has never ranked in the top 1000 boys names, ever. So I guess not that many. Rico was 664th most popular in the 80s before dropping out of the top 1000. I expect that number to rise soon.

- You know what puts a whole weird spin on Ferris Bueller's Day Off? The fact that the principle takes off his whole day to try to track him down, including breaking in to his home, and then that actor turned out to be a chomo. Weird.

- Back to basketball. These are the people who play in France with Mike Bauer: Chevy Troutman (Pitt), Alan Wiggins (San Fran), Justin Doellman (Xavier), Tony Skinn (GMU), LaVell Blanchard (Michigan), Terrell Everett (Oklahoma), Vince Grier (I didn't know he landed in France), Marcus Slaughter (SDSU), Marcus Sommerville (Bradley), Sam Clancy (USC), Zabian Dowdell (VA Tech), Brandon Heath (SDSU), Theron Smith (Ball State - was going to be an NBA star until hurting his knee two straight years), Taj Gray (Okla), Je'Kel Foster (Ohio St), Terence Dials (Ohio St), Antonio Graves (Pitt).

- And the French league is broken up into three divisions, and Bauer starts for a team in the upper division, so he's doing fairly well. I'd also like to let you know that the team he plays for is called Nancy. Insert your own joke here.

- I'd love to tell you how Grier is doing, but again, it's a pay site and I'm not paying just to get his stats. I can tell you he's starting for an "A" League team.

- Oh, that picture up there is some cheerleader at a Russian basketball game. I searched for "European Basketball Cheerleader" and she came up.

- I still think it's weird that Lorenzo Mata changed his last name to Mata-Real. I wonder if his mom just bitched at him constantly or something to add it.

- 29 points with 14 minutes left for Darren Collison on only 10 shot attempts. That ain't bad.

- I think Darren Collison might actually be Earl Watson, come back for four more years. Seriously.

- Oh, I forgot to mention that Mike Chappell holds the all-time record for points in a game in Dusty (and Rick's) Australian league with 44.

- He Got Game was a pretty damn good movie.

- Have a shot at 3-7 rather than 2-8. That would be good. Don't F me UCLA.

- Sweet, UCLA covered to put me at 3-7. What a horrid streak. I'm going to watch Varstiy Blues and pass out.

- I just want to add, I love everything about this movie except the ending. PUKE n RALLY!

Creepiest Hotel Ever

So I get to this hotel, in teh middle of countryland Texas, and there is nobody here. At all. I can't even find a worker so I can check in. Finally I find somebody and get all checked in, and head down to the restaurant to eat. Nobody at the host desk. After about five minutes somebody seats me, and I'm the only one in the place. I order a steak, because my assumptions about Texas are if you order anything other than Steak or Ribs they beat the crap out of you. Well, it's a steak in only the most academic sense of the word. I'm pretty sure if you put this on a hamburger bun the patron would send it back as being not a very good hamburger. But whatever, I'm not paying for it.

So then I head into the bar, and there's one other guy there. Wouldn't you frickin' know it, but he's a guy who is attending the same seminar as I am and he immediately starts talking to me. Annoying, to be sure. At the end of our "conversation" he says, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow and maybe we can do dinner somewhere." Well, putting aside the fact that I'm very attractive and he's probably a gay, I have zero interest in hanging out with people I don't know - ever. When I'm travelling for work by myself, I want to be left alone so I can get loaded (note: mission accomplished).

I end up spending about 3 hours in the bar (insert alcoholic reference here) and one other person shows up. The whole three hours. There's nobody here, and it's weird and creepy and I'm probably going to die. Anyway, this is supposed to be about about sports so here's some stuff:

- Mississippi State is quite good. Jamont Gordon is basically rididculus. And I just watched some guy named Jarvis Varnardo get a triple double with like 10 points, 12 rebounds, and 10 blocks. He averages 5.2 blocks per game going into the night. He's like the Antoine Broxsie I always wanted but never got.

- I've been asked to give my most hated Gophers of all-time team, so here you go:

PG Kevin Burleson
SG Kevin Clark
SF Rick Rickert
PF Kris Humprhies
C Rick Rickert

Yes, I know Rickert is in there twice, but he's was a pretty big waste of space. I know there's plenty of other guys I'm forgetting (Bear, help me out here) but I've had a lot to drink. I still have four more cooling on ice in the sink, so it might be a long night.

- Townsend Orr should be there. But then I'd have to go all three guard offense.

- So here's something constructive (kind of), I stumbled across an interesting preview of the Gophers by Down with Goldy (killer website), so let's see where we stand:

1. The improvement of Tollackson and Coleman: Well, kind of I guess. Coleman seems to be slightly more assertive, which doesn't mean much, and Tollackson is a little more polished. Really, it's like both of them went from a 3 to a 5 in their respective categories. It is what it is, and all that. Coleman still tends to disappear at times, and Tollackson is not a very good offensive player. He looks a lot like The Todd though, so that's cool.

2. Who is playing Point Guard? Well, this one has been answered fairly strongly. Nolen is really, truly the man. The fact that he's even at Minnesota is a testament to how badly he wanted to attend here, even with Monson as coach. There was a lot of talk about how he might not be Big Ten caliber, even from myself. That talk has clearly been put to rest. The program is in good hands for the next four years.

3. What's up with Kevin Payton? He sucks. Pretty much. I mean, he will do something every five games or so that looks good, but he's not a very good player.

4. How good can Lawrence Westbrook be? Um, still unsure? Sometimes he looks awesome as all hell. Sometimes you don't even realize he's on the team. Lots of potential.

5. Abu Shamala shouldn't be starting, right? Well, that's pretty clear. I know he's from Minnesota and we're all supposed to love him because he's white and everything, but he's not a very good player. He's an ok guy on the right team, because he can clearly shoot the ball, but the fact that Dawg's guy Blake stepped up big is huge for this team. Also, I'm starting to think Hoffbauer might be the man.

6. Lawrence McKenzie's motivation: This was a big concern for me coming into this season, and now it almost seems like he may have gone to far. I know he's been battling injuries, and I love the fact that he is more in control, but there have been times where he needs to take over and he hasn't. Hopefully some of the assertiveness that came out in the Penn State game will stay there.

7. Big Man Depth: This was a huge concern and may still be their undoing, but J-Will seems to be developing well, and the big leap forward from Damian Johnson make this just a sort of worry, not a critical problem.

8. Tubby's influence: This, I have to say, is probably the biggest change this year. Instead of a bunch of girls running around, you have guys like sissy-boy Coleman being tough. The defense has been absolutely stellar, and it's amazing to see what a difference he has made. Also, Dan Monson can go to hell. Nice team, ass.

9. Ongoing Recruiting battles: Well, Tubby has won almost every battle. The two guys I mention prior were Devoe Joseph and Verdell Jones. Well, Devoe is already committed, and I actually have no idea about Jones, because I don't care due to Nolen being the damn man. I did hear somewhere that he might take away Busch or Shamala's scholarship to give it to someone who doesn't suck, and I can't possibly be more in favor of anything ever.

10. Just how awesome is Rico Tucker? Clearly, he's awesome as all hell, if only he had better teammates. Now, he's only 21% from three on the year, but when your teammates suck and the defense refuses to let you have an open shot that'll happen. Also, four turnovers per game probably doesn't look very good to the untrained eye, but keep in mind there are probably three of those per game where he makes an awesome pass and some dumbass let's it go through his hands. In conclusion, Rico Tucker is awesome and if you don't see it you should probably stop watching basketball and start watching curling instead. They have brooms.

- Here's your money plays for tomorrow: Duke -5.5, Dayton -6, Purdue -1. I'm sure there will be more later, but I have some stupid seminar all day tomorrow, so I wanted to give all of yous you follow my picks with baited breath an early start.

- Since this is what I do when I'm drunk in random hotels, here are your notables playing in something called the ABA (future home of Hoffbauer): Jerry Dupree (Auburn? Lsu?), Soulemayne Wane (UCONN), holy crap nevermind. Worst league ever. They even have canadian teams whose website are in foreign and everything. And the websites that actually exist, I've never heard of any of these guys. Nice league. Will fold in less than two years. But Travarus Bennett once played for Vermont in that league. So that's something.

- Jesus christ, finding info on minor league basketball is like hacking into the pentagon, I swear.

- Luis Flores (Manhattan) is playing in Italy. He was awesome and so was Manhattan. You're never getting your Manhattan shirt back Bogart, NEVER.

- Gophers beat Indiana on Thursday. Book it.

- Here are the people playing in Germany: Dijon Thompson (UCLA), Terrance Thomas (Baylor?), Mark Dickel (UNLV), Jason Conley (Missouri) - also the leading scorer in DI that one year he was at VMI or Citadel or something like that, Kyle Visser (Wake), Jason Cain (Virginia), Nate Doornekamp (BC), Nate Funk (Creighton), Michael Umeh (UNLV), Shawan Robinson (Clemson) - Video game allstar, Toby Bailey (UCLA) - holy crap was that guy awesome, Jason Gardner (Arizona) - wow, really, Rickey Paulding (Missouri), Caleb Green (ORU - O, are you?), Ray Nixon (Wisconsin) - so they'll let anybody in.

- Wow, poor Toby Bailey. I'd tell you his stats if only they didn't want me to pay "just 34 cents a day) to have access to their database. Go to hell nazis.

- And also the Overlook Hotel where I am is setup so you can't see the TV from the desk where the internet is. That is some bullshit right there. How am I supposed to watch the Gophers beat Indiana and do internet at the same time. Wrong.

- 12:24, beer gone. Bye.

What up with the NBDL?

So I'm drunk in Lincoln, NE - again - and I'm bored. I have three Newcastles in the bathroom sink - with ice - and figured, "why not figure out what's up with the whole NBDL thing?" Now, I dont have the energy or soberness to figure out the rules and what not with the minor league thing, so instead, I'll just find some players who are in the league. Couple quick points:

1. These people are all better than Rick Rickert, who plays in the Australian YMCA league.

2. This Craig Monroe trade pisses me off. It's like, they're doing something just to do something and saying, "Hey, look at us. We're doing something." Well screw that. Craig Monroe is a chomo.

3. It's nice to be able to find Seinfeld on TV at pretty much any moment.

4. This is why having a bottle opener on your key chain makes you smart and prepared, not immature.

5. If I'm asleep by 3, I can still get 6 hours of sleep. Sweet.

6. I'm going to be a father. This scares me, and should probably scare all of you.

7. I found out I officially have a reputation in my company as a "Big Drinker." I can't decide if this is awesome, or kind of a bad thing. Since I'm drunk right now, I"m going to go with "Awesome."

On to the fake basketball league:

Albuquerque Thunderbirds: Serge Angounou (Ariz St), Kris Collins (New Mex), Darvin Ham (Tex Tech), Daniel Horton (Mich). Obviously the big news here is Kris Collins. I don't actually remember all the crap behind him, but I know he was a Gopher at one point or another, and it clearly didn't work out. I think he was too dumb or something. Darvin Ham once broke a backboard (might have been twice), and Horton was supposed to be a pretty good player at Michigan. He seemed to be pretty solid oh my god Eliza Dushku is on that seventies show and how did I not know that? That chick is so way hot.

Anaheim Arsenal: Guillermo Diaz (Miami), Anthony Harris (Miami), Steven Smith (LaSalle), Marquis Webb (Rutgers). Diaz and Harris were a pretty dynamic show at Miami. I have to think having two guards who were pretty good in college and are still together can only help. Not help getting them to the NBA, because clearly they kind of suck since they are in this league, but still. Smith was the best player at LaSalle since Lionel Simmons, and dominated the A-10 - which obviously means nothing. Webb was basically known just since Quincy Douby was so good.

Austin Toros: Justin Bowen (UIC), Ashanti Cook (G-Town), Kevin Pittsnogle (WVU). Bad team. I only included Bowen here because he went to UIC, and my buddy JC and I saw him play in an exhibition several years ago where they had a VIP booth we couldnt' get into, despite his friend who was supposedly a high roller there. Cook was terrible, and obviously Pittsnogle is a joke. When you're tall, for the love of god please try to play in the post once in a while, there are enough short people who can only shoot outside. Weird, kind of like JC in intramurals. Tall, yet too afraid to play downlow and only roam about the three point line. Rickert-like. They also have a guy from Tarleton State, new home of Limar Wilson. So there's hope for him yet.

Bakersfield Jam: Brandon Bowman (GTown). This team is boring because I'm hardly heard on any of their guys - I'm gong to assume they suck. Plus, the Jam? Really? Did you have a contest to name your team and only invite retarded fifth graders to submit nicknames? Brutal. I also actually like Bowman quite a bit, and still think he could be a good player. He's by far the best player out of this group of clowns so far.

Colorado 14ers: Julian Sensley (Hawaii), Kelly Whitney (Seton Hall). Bad. Also bad name. This is Rickert's former team, but I guess he couldn't crack this tough roster of guys who I've never heard of other than two I think I maybe kind of know who they are. I think Sensley was a guy who put up good numbers for Hawaii every year, and always kind of thought about going pro but never did. Probably shouldn't have. Not entirely sure who Whitney was, but I think he played with Holloway, and that guy was the fucking man.

Dakota Wizards: Blake Ahearn (Mizz St), Will Frisby (Miami), Armein Kirkland (Cincy), David Palmer (South Utah). Ahearn, if I remember correctly, was one of the best free throw shooters in collegiate history. Frisby had a sweet name. I saw a game once where Kirkland was awesome, but I think it was one of his only good games - ever. David Palmer was a hell of a kick returner for the Vikings - also one of 2P's favorite players ever.

Fort Wayne Mad Ants: Shagari Alleyne (Kentucky), Justin Cage (Xavier), Earl Calloway (Indiana), Roderick Wilmont (Indiana), Sammy Mejia (DePaul), Lukasz Obrzut (Kentucky). Tubby Smith's two biggest mistakes ever might be on this team, in Alleyne and Obrzut. Very tall, and very retarded, these two never really amounted to much - yet they would have been awesome at the U of MN, so keep that in mind. Two other teammates here in the Indiana guards, both pretty solid players. Mejia is the kind of player who might still make the NBA at some point. Also that nickname is so stupid it's awesome.

Idaho Stampede: Randy Livingston (LSU), Brent Petway (Michigan). Petway was crazy athletic, and is still young enough to possibly develop into a decent player. Livingston I swear has been around since the Chris Jackson era. I think he hurt his knee 17 times, and is still hanging around the fringes of the NBA, so good for him.

Iowa Energy: Jeff Horner (Iowa). Yep, Jeff Horner's all they got. That guy was always a little weiner. Like Wojo from Duke with less gay and more offense.

L.A. D-Fenders: Sean Banks (Memphis), Errick Craven (USC), Jelani McCoy (UCLA). It's cute how they don't spell out D-Fenders. Very LA of them. Banks can score, and Errick Craven is only memorable because he had a twin named Derrick, and also because I used to have a friend named Eric Cravens. I wonder what happened to him? His family was rich, and had satellite TV when it wasn't normal with the big dish and everything, and had the playboy channel when I was in eighth grade. Awesome. Anyway, McCoy was one of the best shot blockers I've ever seen. I know the Sonics gave him a chance. It's too bad he had zero offensive game, because defensively he's an absolute force. That dude should have a highlight film on youtube, but alas, it's not to be.

Rio Grande Valley Vipers: Steve Novak (Marquette), Kevin Bookout (Oklahoma), CJ Watson (Tennessee). Novak will end up in the NBA at some point. He's way too good a shooter to not. Bookout and Watson are two fo teh most overrated college players ever. Bookout was supposed to be a big deal recruit, but he's really just an average, bigger, white guy. Like Kris Humprhries but way less talented. Watson was a chucker. Like Scottie Reynolds now. Hey Scottie, Look! It's your future!

Sioux Falls Skyforce: Marcus Bailey (Wyoming), Nik Caner-Medley (Maryland), Ben Jacobson (North Iowa). Well, just the fact that Caner-Medley is playing professional basketball is a testament to human will. Jacobson seems like that type of player who will always find work playing somehwere. Not sure why I highlighted Bailey. I think I"m thinking of Mario Bailey, former U of Washington wide receiver and Bill Walsh College Football (Sega) All-Star.

Tulsa 66ers: Dwight Brewington (Liberty), Ramon Sessions (Nevada). I remember Brewington from Providence. Seemed like a pretty good player. Guess he transferred to Liberty though. Totally memorable. Sessions I can't say crap about, because I don't live on the West coast and dont' think I ever saw him play. I honestly couldn't pick Nick Fazekas out of a lineup. I could pick out Eric Chenowith though, because I once stayed in the same hotel as him and got his autograph. Not because I wanted it, but because Snacks and I were drunk and laughing about him, and my mom went up and got his autograph for both of us as a joke. True story.

Utah Flash: Andre Ingram (St. johns), Jeff Hagen (Minn), Kevin Kruger (UNLV). Kruger is like Jacobson, just the kind of player who will never have to get a real job because he'll just keep hooking on with low level basketball teams. Big story here is Jeff Hagen, obviously. As much as I would love to have more info on him, there is no link to him on their site. I'd try to look it up but it's 1:33am and that's just about enoough.

Hey Sidler, way to have Dwight Freeney get hurt. Nice job.

I was Wrong About Rick Rickert

When Rick Rickert decided to go pro after his sophomore year with the Gophers - averaging 16 pts and 6 rebs, I thought he was making a huge mistake. When he didn't get drafted until almost the end of the second and final round of the draft, and it was by the Wolves who felt sorry for him, I laughed. When he got cut, I laughed. When Garnett punched him in the face, I laughed even harder. And when he got stuck playing in the D-League, I laughed.

But I was wrong. Oh, so wrong.

My friends, the great Rick Rickert has a chance to be a champion. His Colorado 14ers will be playing the Dakota Wizards this Sunday for the D-League championship.

Rickert got everything he wanted. After averaging eleven points and six rebounds per game in the NBDL, he's managed to carry his team to the championship, averaging 8 pts and 8 rebs per game in the playoffs. And now, on Sunday, he'll be playing for every little boy's dream: an NBDL championship.

I apologize Rick Rickert. I was wrong. You win.