Notes from 50,000 feet (Welcome to the Twins, Willy + Paul trade reaction)

I'm on a plane.  And it has wi-fi.  What a glorious time to be alive.  A lot has seemingly changed since I changed jobs and stop flying to random cities basically monthly and getting drunk on a bathroom sink full of Coors Lights.   This is actually my first business trip since almost exactly a year ago when I went to LA (which is where I'm going today again).  Of course, not that much has changed because the freaking reading lights don't work on this god forsaken plane, so I'm forced to either sleep or type.  Awesome.  Also Blake Lewis's version of "You Give Love a Bad Name" just started playing on my ipod, so I'm pretty sure I'm doing something wrong.  Anyway.  I'm bored.  And you're going to listen to me, god help you.

-  Biggest news is the signing of Josh Willingham by the Twins for 3 years, $21 million which I'm assuming has been finalized.  (side note:  Busta Rhymes now on the ipod, things are looking up).  Considering this is very close to the contract they offered Michael Cuddyer (3 yrs, $25 mil) and they're both outfielders I think this signals the end of the Cuddyer era in Minnesota, for good or for ill.  Let's look first at playing ability.

Both Cuddy and Willingham will be 33 to start next season, and although both are corner outfielders Cuddy is primarily a RF with a great arm and Willingham is a LF with a so-so arm, which automatically raises questions about what happens to the Twins' outfield since neither Span nor Revere can even get the ball from RF to 3B on the fly or so I assume.  Fielding-wise, using UZR which is an advanced fielding stat that I couldn't begin to describe but is one of the more popular ones, both were equally shitty range-wise, which backs up what I've seen with my own two eyes.  Add in Cuddy's ability to play a sub-par 1st, 2nd, or 3rd and the Twins do lose out slightly in the field with this swap, mostly due to the now lack of a true RF in my eyes.

Batting wise once again these two players are similar.  Over the past 3 years, Cuddyer has a slightly higher average (.276 to .257), while Willingham has a slightly higher OBP (.360 to .341) and SLG (.479 to .465), which adds up to Willy's OPS+ of 125 trumping Cuddy's of 117, or about the difference between Troy Tulowitzki and Alex Gordon.  Basically Willingham is probably a slightly better hitter, especially power and plate discipline-wise, while Cuddy might get a few more hits here and there.  Plus Willingham has outhomered him each of the last two seasons, and although they have a virtually identical number of career HRs (Cuddy wins 141 to 132) Willingham has done it in about 1,300 fewer at-bats than Cuddyer (note:  not a typo).  So basically the Twins downgraded their defense a bit but upgraded offensively.  Cool, you think, but what about the intangibles?

My answer to that question would be to punch you in the face if you were on this plane.  Yes, Cuddyer filled a leadership void, but not because he's a great natural leader, but because SOMEBODY had to because Justin Morneau forgot where he was every 15 minutes and had to be reminded and every time Joe Mauer talked to anybody they fell asleep.  I don't deny Cuddy provided a valuable service by becoming the face of the team by being in every single commerical, interview, event, and basically throwing himself in front of every camera he saw.  I also don't deny that having a guy who is willing to play any position where he's needed, and can do so not embarrassingly, is a nice luxury to have.  I also think both of those are very overrated on a baseball team.  Not to mention him always chasing the press and forcing them to interview him kept the pressure off Mauer and Morneua, which at times is good but I would argue doing it to that extent during that kind of year is bad.  I short, I will listen to your arguments that Cuddy is valuable in ways that have nothing to do with on-field performance, but I will also then dismiss this arguments with a roundhouse kick to our face and a condescending wave of my hand.

The Final piece of the puzzle is perhaps what pushes this from a pretty close to even swap that saves $4 million bucks to a great (well, good) decision by the Twins that saves $4 million bucks.  Because Cuddyer was offered arbitration, that means that when Cuddy eventually signs with another team the Twins will receive both a first-round pick and a supplemental pick between rounds 1 and 2.  That's good for any team, but for the Twins, whose list of prospects is getting thinner and thinner by the year, that's huge.  That basically means two top-35 picks in the next draft, and even if Willingham was a notch below Cuddyer this swap might have been worth it.  As it stands, it's the correct move.  And if you're crying because Cuddy is gone, well, you're too dumb to care about anyway.

-  Looks like this Chris Paul trade went down.  Not to follow Bill Simmons' comments, but the Paul to Griffin combo is going to be pretty sick in the open court.  I have no idea if Griffin is pick-n-rollable (and actually I don't know if Paul is either), but if they're both adept at the play look out.  They also (reportedly) managed to do it without gutting their team.  Paul, Billups (who they may regret adding at this point), Bledsoe, DeAndre Jordan, Griffin, and Caron Butler is absolutely a contender, especially if Bledsoe matures (and Jordan to a lesser extent).  Not to mention they have decent vet rotation guys in Gomes and Foye (thanks Wolves), and a bunch of young guys (Willie Warren, Travis Leslie, Trey Thompkins).  If one of those youngsters breaks out look the hell out.  I grabbed some Clips to win the whole thing action at 15-1 last night when it started to look like they were close to getting Paul (heard it was 50-1 earlier in the day, dammit).  Interested to see where that goes to.

And it's not like the Hornets screwed themselves either.  Kaman is a serviceable center in a league with very few of them, Aminu sucks but has potential, and Eric Gordon is probably one of the best young players in the league (there's a Bill Simmons column on that but I'll be damned if I can find it now).  Then there's the pick from the Wolves, which, no matter how optimistic you are, you have to admit is going to be in the lottery.  Hopefully it's late, but even if it's late that doesn't mean it ends up late.  Especially because the Clippers just traded it, upping the odds it ends up in the top 3 by at least triple.  It's a waaaaaay better package than they were getting in the Lakers/Rockets swap so, at least for now, it kind of looks like the league knows what it's doing.

I'm sure there is plenty more to write about, but the plane is landing shortly and they're saying something about turning stuff off, so I must go.  Later. 

Week in Review - 11/9/09

I'm not going to write about Cuddyer here.  If you missed it, the Twins picked up his option and are going to pay him $10.5 million in 2011.  They had to make the decision by today, and I understand why they picked it up rather than paying a $1 million buy-out, but are you really confident he will be worth $11 million in two years?  Last year was a career year, and according to fangraphs that season was only worth $8.8 million on the open market, so we're expecting him to get better?  The smart move would have been to buy him out, then try to resign him for like 3 years/$18 million or so.  If some fool team wants to pay him $10 million a season, shake his hand, congratulate him on finding someone willing to overpay him, wish him luck, and move on.

Well, I guess I lied.  I did end up writing about Cuddyer, even though I said I didn't, but at least he didn't get one of the coveted ten spots below.  Mainly because although I don't think it was the right move, I don't think it was awful, either.  Although I have a feeling our very own I Hate Cuddy Guy might show up here pretty soon with some less than flattering words.  On to the stuff......


WHO WAS AWESOME

1.  Chris Paul.  Is Paul the next Magic Johnson?  Of course not, idiot.  Magic was a once in history type player, but that doesn't mean Chris Paul isn't really damn good and the best point guard in the league right now.  He's scoring (26.6 per game, 7th in the league), assisting (9.7 per game, 3rd), and shooting (62% from the floor and 68% from three, 7th and 2nd) and generally playing out of his mind right now.  None of this should come as a huge surprise, since he was so good and showed so much potential in college, but these things don't always work out so it's good to take note of it when it does.  Unfortunately for him and basketball fans, the rest of his team completely sucks.

2.  Cincinnati Bengals.  Before the year started, some genius wrote "This is the team that I think will surprise.  Carson is back, and coming with him will be Ochocinco who is "revitalized" which really just means he's a bitchy little whiner who wouldn't try last year because they sucked and now everyone thinks they will be good again so he will be good again - and I agree.  Plus the defense isn't half bad, actually, at least not as bad as you think.  Playoffs, baby.  Believe."   Now, following a shellacking of the Ravens that doesn't look as dominant as it was because it was just 17-7, whoever that handsome fella who wrote that looks even smarter than usual, and that's tough to do.

3.  Josh Freeman.  I have a theory.  My theory is that Steve McNair is alive and Josh Freeman is actually dead, but due to some kind of conspiracy and a Face/Off style surgery, McNair is living and playing as Freeman.  Seriously, this kid throws like him, runs like him, carries himself like him, and, at least yesterday, was cool under pressure like him after leading the formerly hapless Buccaneers to a big 38-28 win over the Packers (which also essentially wrapped up the division for the Vikes).  It was Freeman's first start, and he started kind of slow, and his numbers aren't particularly impressive (but better than that piece of crap Aaron Rodgers's), but he threw two touchdown passes in the fourth quarter, made smart plays down the stretch while Rodgers was melting down, and led the Bucs to their first victory of the season.  I don't know if he'll ever put up huge numbers and be a a big-time fantasy QB or anything, but if I'm a Tampa fan, I'm suddenly feeling a lot better about the future.

4. Russell Westbrook.  When the Sonics picked Westbrook fourth overall a couple of years ago I was like "lol wut?"  Westbrook wasn't a true point guard, and wasn't a great outside shooter, so I wasn't sure exactly what role he would play in the NBA.  Luckily for him, I'm an idiot, and after a great rookie year in which he finished fourth in ROY voting, he is following it up this year by becoming one of the best all-around guards in the league, averaging 18 points, 8 assists, and 5 rebounds per game.  Oh, and also yesterday he had 17-5-10 as the Thunder destroyed the Magic 102-74 (Orlando was without Vince, Rashard Lewis, and Ryan Anderson, but still, that's a good win). 

5.  College Basketball.  It's back, baby.  The Gophers might be playing an exhibition tonight, but there are four real, actual games tonight with the Coaches vs. Cancer tournament kicking off the season.  North Carolina, Ohio State, Syracuse, and Cal all have what should be pretty easy matchups, but there's some intrigue anyway.  UNC plays FIU in Isiah Thomas's coaching debut (more on him below), and Syracuse plays Albany in their first game action since their loss to LeMoyne (more on that below also).  That's all just a prelude to Friday and the real start of the season, with 252 teams in action that night.  Awesome, as it is every year.


WHO SUCKED

1.  Iowa Football.  Never has it been easier to pick someone for this spot, and never has it felt better.  Not so much that I hate Iowa, I probably don't as much as most Gopher fans do, but I'm just glad the Hawkeyes aren't going to somehow back in to the BCS Championship game thanks to a Texas loss in the B12 championship game or something and get blown right off the field and once again set up a series of articles about how bad the Big 10 is at football.  I mean, they are, but I get sick of reading about it.  So thank you Iowa, and thank you Northwestern.  There is now zero chance we have to watch another Big Ten team get killed in the championship, and instead we can watch them get killed in all the other bowls, and with Penn State losing to OSU, we can be assured whoever ends up in the Rose Bowl by default will lose by at least 30 to Oregon. [Let's make this USC since I just found out Oregon lost to Stanford]

2.  Syracuse Basketball.  LeMoyne??  If you pay attention to sports, you are no doubt already completely aware of the fact that the Cuse lost to D-II LeMoyne thanks to a last second three pointer by some guy whose dream just came true Tuesday night.  I'd love to join the pile one, but come on.  For Syracuse it's a glorified scrimmage, for LeMoyne - just three miles down the road from the Carrier Dome - it's the Super Bowl/World Series/NCAA Championship all in one, not to mention a chance for these players to stick it to Boeheim and the Orange for not recruiting them.  I mean, I'm pretty sure Syracuse will suck this year, but it has nothing to do with a loss to LeMoyne.   

3.  Corey Brewer.  Ok, I'm sorry but this guy just can't shoot the ball.  I got called out (and called "bro") for being worried about his 37% shooting in the preseason in the comments section of this post, but it looks like I was right -  he's shooting 38% so far this year, including games of 6-21, 6-16, 4-10, and 4-9 this week.  Now, sucks is kind of strong, because Brewer absolutely serves a valuable function on this team, and is a definite starter thanks to other things he can do like defense, rebounding, and just overall being around the ball, but he's not a prolific scorer, and shouldn't be a featured part of any offense.  Of course, with Love out and Jefferson having a terrible season so far, maybe the Wolves don't have a choice, and that my friends, surely sucks.

4.  New Jersey.  Good god is this team awful.  Actually losing to the Wolves should have been a pretty big tipoff, but now the Nets sit at 0-7 after a really stellar 0-4 week, their best player, Devin Harris, is injured, they're in the bottom two in the league in both scoring and shooting, Courtney Lee his shooting 31%, their suddenly promising young player, Chris Douglas-Roberts, now has the swine flu, and Trenton Hassell has become prominently involved.  Things are not going well.  I know the plan was basically to ignore this season and clear room to go after Lebron in the offseason, but I think they cleared the teamout a bit too well.  Seriously, if Lebron signs here (or anybody else) he's pretty clearly effed in the head. 

5.  FIU/Isiah Thomas - Seemed like everything was going well for Isiah at FIU, right?  First, he signed a pack of Juco guards, including three good scorers who immediately shore up an offense that is losing almost all of it's scoring.  Then he uses his national stature to grab a couple of good recruits, including a shocker in getting Dominique Ferguson, Rivals #40 recruit who chose the Panthers despite offers from Arizona and Kentucky.  All is well, right?  Well, turns out you also have to coach, and instead of a triumphant debut, Isiah watched his team lose to Northwood in an exhibition, the same Northwood that is an NAIA school.  Oops.  And I realize nobody really cares, and neither do I, but this gives me a great excuse to post this video, which might be the greatest thing ever.




Is that not the greatest thing ever? No preview for the Gopher exhibition because yawn and also because real basketball starts tonight. Also file away in the "sucks" column the fact that I realized yesterday due to previous engagements and business travel/events, I won't be able to attend another Gopher game until December. Thanks a lot, life. You suck.

I Have a Small Window

With baby and momma taking a nap, I actually have an opportunity to write some things. I know, you've missed me. I'm sorry. I'll try to do better. Anyway,

1. I don't watch a whole lot of the NBA. It bores me to be honest with you. However the playoffs are a different story. I haven't seen much, what with having a new baby and all, but it seems to be a pretty good year so far. The Suns/Spurs game 1 may have been the greatest game one of all-time, and there are just a lot of good young players and intriguing teams these days, although it's looking like Tracy McGrady is the new KG. Looking both at regular season stats, as well as games I've been able to watch, if I'm starting a new franchise Chris Paul is my first pick, and it's not even close.

2. The first ever post on DWG was on April 6, 2007 - which means DWG is officially over one year old. I think we've gotten better. The extra writers, a lot more banter, and just overall a more fun atmosphere these days. I like it. So thanks.

3. Lots and lots of debate about Jason Kubel. Check the comments section of the post below this one for a lot of the comments. My main comment was, "In Kubel's minor league stops, his OPS+ numbers were 109, 144, 132, 115, 151, 126, and 114. Simply put, he could rake. In 2004, between AA and AAA he hit .352/.416/.590. Absolutely sick numbers.

Even after getting hurt, he's still an above average hitter. Last season's .273/.335/.450 was good enough for an OPS+ of 109, good for fifth on the team. [REDACTED]

More simply put, Kubel is currently an above average hitter with past performance which indicates he has the potential to become more than that."

And that's exactly right. The guy was an all-star caliber hitter in the minor leagues before he got hurt. He had a pretty decent year last year, and is doing ok so far this year. I see no reason at all to give his ABs this year to any of the other crap-factory players on the Twins' bench. That being said, he's not exactly all-world, but he is serviceable. If he can raise his game and give them something like .290/.350/.500, which is not a far cry from last season, he becomes a high caliber weapon. Basically, he has an upside of Matt Stairs with a downside of Matthew LeCroy.

4. Last thing quick is, in case you missed it, Shaun Alexander was released by Seattle today. Damn, dude, that guy fell off in a hurry. Very Vanilla-ice like. The fact that he is only on the hook for $4.4 million next season, and that they are comfortable going into next year with career backup TJ Duckett and perpetual disappointment Julius Jones speak volumes. And this coming from a guy who has him on my keeper league team and apparently held on to him for one season too long. That being said, he could be a good gamble for a team who can get him on the cheap. I doubt he has anything left in the tank. Watching him last year was like watching an old man try to order soup at a deli. Even so, could be worth a gamble.

5. Having a baby is hard.

Fear and Loathing in New Jersey

Sorry I've been away for so long, but I've been between jobs and essentially computerless. If I had been able to post, I was going to pick Trevor Immelman to win the masters. I still don't know who won, so maybe I was right, who knows? The important thing is I'm stuck in New Jersey with a twelve pack (well, eleven now) of Coors Light on ice in the sink. I had a couple with dinner as well (Ruby Tuesday - not good but it was close) so I'm ready to post deep into the night. It's 7:20 right now, I have 12 (11) beers, and I have to be up at 8:00. What will the night bring? Insightful posting? Drunken rambling? Neither? Both? Only time will tell.

- Let's start by taking a look at the future Gophers (maybe) since this is primarily a Gopher blog. Although perhaps it should be a Gopher/Twin blog. I don't know. I'm just typing man.

* Royce White and Rodney Williams played together on the Howard Pulley AAU team in the Boo Williams Invitational (wasn't that that one TE for the Saints that one year?) along with Hopkins's's Mike Broghammer (offers from Purdue and Iowa). They went 3-1 in the tournament before falling in the quarterfinals, scoring over 100 points twice. White was called one of the "standout players" in the tournament by Scout.com. Royce scored 10, 12, 10, and 20 in the four games, and had highs of 10 and 7 rebounds in two of the games. Williams chipped in with 8, 17, 10, and 16.

* Scout.com's Evan Daniels had this to say about White: "Royce White, PF, Howard Pulley – The skilled face up four man showed off his full game on Saturday. Against Team Texas Elite he hit a spot up three, made a bunch of moves to the basket and hit at least four jumpers from 15 to 18 feet. White is equipped with good balls skills and impressive footwork." No comments on White or Broghammer, but Howard Pulley faced DaShonte Riley, a big-time Gopher target, in the first game and held him to zero points. He'll fit right in with the Gopher big men of the past. He's practically a lock now.

* Ralph Sampson III played in the Capital Classic on the 13th of April. I know it already happened, but my source doesn't have a recap, just a preview so deal. There are a good deal of top recruits playing, and could give an insight into just how good Sampson could be. Among the big man signees involved are Olek Czyz (Duke), Henry Sims (GTown), Ty Walker (Wake), Roscoe Davis (WVU), Maurice Sutton (undecided), and Kris Joseph (Cuse).

* Verdell Jones visited Indiana's campus on Friday, although why anybody would want to go to that mess is beyond me. Kentucky, Georgetown, and Texas have all gotten involved with recruiting perhaps the best unsigned point guard available, and I have to say the Gophers' chances are dwindling at this point. Jones would be perfect for Minnesota, with Joseph and Hoff as shooters and Sampson, DJ, and Iverson on the block, his penetrating style would work well and hide his perimeter shooting deficiency (hit only 32 threes last season).

- Sheesh, enough of all that serious crap, I'm just happy the Red Sox/Indians are on TV. I was worried I wouldn't get to see the Sox this year since they're never on.

- We need more Dawg movie reviews around here. Srslsy.

- So I watched about 20 minutes of that one movie about gambling with that guy who I don't know who he is and Drew Barrymore. Partially to see just how accurate the poker scenes were, but mainly because it was 12:30 and I was in a hotel in New Jersey with no alcohol and no hope of alcohol - stone cold sober. I know, i was scared too. Anyway, the overall poker scenes weren't bad, but right at the end he's in the world series of poker and it's him, some dude from some other movie, and his dad played by the guy from the godfather. Anyway, he has his dad beat after the river, and his dad goes all in, and he calls, and then when he sees what his dad's hand was he mucks his cards even though he had him beat, basically taking of a dive. I turned it off right there. That guy who I don't know who he is is a pussy. If I ever took a dive against my old man, I'm pretty sure he'd knock me out.

- That was a lot to write about a shitty movie. And I spoiled it for you. Oh no. Rent Superbad instead.

- GopherLady and that other guy need to email me their addresses so they can claim their awesome prizes in the DWG Tourny bracket. Come on people. I've stuff here to get rid of. And it's awesome. Although I should probably just send the Baseball Prospectus book to Dawg. That dude has a lot to learn.

- Is there anything less exciting that people get retarded for than the NFL draft? And I'm even a football fan. Not like basketball or baseball, but I dig the game, and it's nice to have an excuse to get all liquored up on Sundays. But people lose their minds for this stuff. It's on like 9 hours on day one and 6 hours on day two, and people will sit in front of their TVs all day on both days and watch the whole thing. It's like the first two rounds of the NCAA tournament, except take out the drama, excitement, and fun. It's for retards. Although let me give you a sleeper QB: Jonathan Moxon, West Texas High. He got a scholarship to Brown, and I haven't seen his stats in college, but in high school he was a true double threat. He could sling the ball like QB Eagles and run like QB Eagles. Whoever takes him is hitting the absolute goldmine.

- Princeton is the UMD of the Ivy League.

- By the way, if you watch the 1997 One Shining Moment (search Youtube, ass) the Gophers you see are Goldy, Quincy Lewis after a Toby Bailey dunk, Eric Harris getting schooled by Ron Mercer, and a couple guys in the background after a Kentucky celebration. That's it. The whole tournament. For a final four team. It's like the One Shining Moment producers knew they were crooked and would get wiped off the books. There might be a Charles Thomas in there at the beginning too. I don't know, all black people look the same to me.

- Granted it's early, but let's look at my predictions:

1. Mauer will have less than 80 rbi. If he plays all 162 games, he'd be on pace for 68. Considering he's going to play more like 140, this may as well be a win already.

2. Delmon Young will show more power. Wow. I am a completely idiot. He's a slap hitter.

3. Morneau and Cuddyer slip. Cuddyer can't be judged, even as we look at such a small sample. Morneau has 3 dingers, but is hitting only .225 with an OPS of only .808. Undecided.

4. Twins Pitching will not be good. Clearly wrong so far, but may come back into line. I hope not, but young pitchers and old pitchers can both fade in a hurry.

5. Twins will suck. Undecided. 6-6 is ok, but it's still early. I did say they'd score less runs than last year, and they're on pace for 581, over a hundred worse than last season.

6. Torii Hunter will be average. OPS+ of 151. Fine. He's good now. I get it. Shut up, mom.

7. Johan will dominate the NL. Despite being 1-2, a WHIP of 0.97 is outstanding. an OAVG of .258 with a HR/9 of 1.75 is not. Undecided. Oh, and a K/9 of 8 is pretty stellar.

8. Yankees collapse. Last place in the NL east. 26th in runs scored, 22nd in OPS, 17th in earned runs allowed. Yeah. It's over.

9. The Indians will miss the playoffs. 4th in the AL central, 18th in runs, 26th in batting average, 23rd in OPS, 25th in ERA, 21st in WHIP. Oh, and remember how I said Sabathia/Carmona would get hurt/suck? Sabathia ERA 11.57/WHIP 2.35 and Carmona somehow has a 2.20 ERA with a 1.65 WHIP, so expect the ERA to balloon in a hurry.

10. Other predictions about players and teams, my favorite of which was the Blue Jays would make the playoffs, for which I was called an idiot. Yeah, they're leading the AL east.

11. I know it's really early, shut up I'm bored. And drunk.

- I just figured out you can sponsor a page on www.baseball-reference.com for only $5 a year for the vast majority of players. I want to sponsor somebody. Any ideas?

- Oh, and for those of you gays who hate walks, the current division leaders rank 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, and 16 in walks. But you're right, it's not important.

- I'm starting to get drunk. So Twins talk though. As Sidler mentioned below, I'm getting sick of Go Go Gomez and the constant bunting. Sure, it worked a time or two. Hell, on MLB 08 for PS2 I bunted with Gomez his first time up and he got a hit. Since then I've gotten out the last six times. Much like Gomez. I love the guy, I do, and he's showing plate discipline and an understanding of being a leadoff hitter I never expected, but you can't bunt every single game. You just can't. If Vincy Coleman couldn't pull it off, you can't. It should be a weapon, but not such a predictable weapon. Give it a rest for a game or two, then bring it back out. It's not rocket science. Jesus Gardy sucks.

- Do you realize Chris Paul averaged 21 points and 11.6 assists per game this year? That's insane. The internet is being a dick right now, so I can't find any useful info, but I'd bet that's one of the better seasons for a point guard in history. And it turns out Wake has a pretty awesome all time team with Paul, Randolph Childress, Josh Howard, Rodney Rogers, and Tim Duncan. Not to mention Rusty LaRue, the greatest three sport athlete of all-time. It would certainly kick the piss out of any Gopher team you could put together.

- According to my yahoo.com gametracker, it appears Guerrier and Neshek have combined to destroy the game and let the Tigers back into what was a Twins' killing. I only have two questions, 1) Is it over for Neshek and 2) why the hell was some chick wearing a Twins jersey with Guerrier on the back the last game I went to? Even worse, her boyfriend had a Twins jersey with the number 96 and his own name on the back. Seriously, if you have a team jersey and put your own name on the back you might as well kill yourself now.

- This is going to shock you, but Joe Borowski just blew a save for the Indians here. Amazing that guys like this keep getting closer jobs. Let's see, prior to tonight, this season he has an ERA of 4.19 with a WHIP of 2.19. Last year, 5.07 and 1.43. Previous season, 4.75 and 1.38. Those are three out of his four seasons being a closer. He had one good year in 2003 with the Cubs where we went 2.63 and 1.05, which he followed up with 8.02 and 1.97. No way in hell should this douche be a closer. It's like the Tigers and Todd Jones. In his past two years as a full-time closer (before this year) he's put up ERAs of 3.94 and 4.26 and WHIPs of 1.27 and 1.42. These are not closer numbers. He, like Borowski, had one good year, and he continues to get paid and treated like an elite closer. Hell, watch either of these two girls pitch and it's the least impressive thing ever. It's like me hitting off Timdogg's wife's supposed pitching. They are basically like that middle reliever guy (JC Romero) who has that one fluke year. Except they had that one fluke year as a closer and for some reason everyone decides they are a good closer. The good news is that as I was posting that Borowski gave up a homerun to Manny and now Papelbon is in for the save and he's on my fantasy team. Now Papalbon comes on and shuts down the Indians like a real closer, three batters, two strikeouts. Seriously, some guys are closers. Papelbon, Rivera, Nathan, Hoffman (hells bells). Guys like Jones and Borowski are not, and I don't get these retards who don't see it. And the tigers refuse to use Zumaya, who is a complete closer type, in that role. He's hurt this year, so it's kind of irrelevant here, but even when he wasn't they made him be a setup guy. And do you know why this keeps happening? It's because of you morons who refuse to look at stats they way you should. The guys who don't understand why walks are so important, even from three and four hitters. Who don't look at WHIP and think that "this guy seems tough." Who continue to think of "statheads" as guys who live in their mother's basements crunching numbers. Baseball is the most easily quantifiable of all sports. It's essentially one on one, pitcher versus batter. So please, stop being stupid and look at the numbers, just once. I'm pretty sure all managers other than Sparky Anderson and Earl Weaver are idiots. I could do that job. I'm applying.

- Holy christ is family guy stupid.

- oh, and the picture up there, I just thought it was funny.

- Good news, I managed to snag two Amstel Lights from the bar lady downstairs, even though they've been closed for over an hour. Probably because she wants me. I just hope I can think of something intersting to type now.

- In case you're curious, the most recent info I can find on former Georgia Tech forward James Forrest is that he played in Europe in 2002 and averaged 12.5 points per game. But he made this shot that one time:



So he's beter than you.

- A link from there goes to here, which is one of the most fun games I've ever watched. Funny story about this game, is that I was with my dad and my uncle all afternoon that day, and my dad hates beer but loves vodka, and he decided to try to keep up with me and my uncle as we drank beer and he drank vodka. Well, predictably, he couldn't handle it, so, even though the three of us watched the whole game together, he has no memory of this game at all. One of the best games i can ever remember watching. Unfortunately the douchebag who recoreded this won't let me embed it, so you'll have to click on the link. How amateur.

- By the way, there's no way I could have opened these Amstel Lights without the bottle opener on my key chain. So those of you who think only rednecks have bottle openers on their keychains can eat a dick. Mine is a basketball.

- Christ, on Letterman tonight is Trevor Immelman and David Wright. Yet somehow when I went it was Dr. Phil and Roger federer. My kharma is all messed up.

- I'm very proud to announce that if you put "suck my crank" into google we come up as the second site. We're also second if you put in "goldy is a fag". I've never been so proud.

- Well, this is coool:



- Here are your officially announced 2008 NBA drafttes:
Joe Alexander - meh. ok. probably a dcent palyer
Ryan anderson - awesome. will be a great late pick if he says in
Nicolus Batum - I have no idea who this is
Jerryd Bayless - 8 million times better than Eric Gordon
Michael Beasley- superstar. sick good
Chase Budinger - dude, really? Like Laettner, has no NBA skills.
Derrick Caracter - stay. seriously stay.
EArl Clark - seriously, why? Better than Caracter ,but no reason to go
Eric Gordon - go ahead and draft him, I dare you
Donte Green - guy is seriously flawed, but those flaws will work for the NBA
richard hendrix - No
JJ Hickson - one more year and he'd be a star
Lester Hudson - just keep ripping up the OVC, it's all you got
DeAndre Jordan - if you're tall and not retarded, you can get drafted now
Brook Lopez - I thought he was a queer, but is actually quite good
Robin Lopez - stay for a year and try to prove yourself without your brother around. worst decision out of anybody so far. Needs to take another year to prove himself.
OJ Mayo - Proved me wrong this year. Still think he's overrated. If the Wolves take him i quit more than I already did.
Javale McGee - I don't know who this is
Trent Plaisted - you have to be kidding
Anthony Randolph - I should know this guy, but I don't.
Marrese Speights - if this dude gets drafted I quit the NBA. Just a tall stupid idiot.
Ronald Steele - he's Eric Harris. Not a chance in hell.
Robert Vaden - shouldn't be drafted. Could be signed as a free agent as a shooter, or could end up ripping up the Australian league.
Shawn James - No idea. Probably not even real.

- Rico Tucker had a knee injury that ended up knocking him out of the WCC tournament and likely affected his play all season long. yet he still ended up finishing third in scoring and tops in both assists and steals for Pepperdine. The knee was clearly bothering him all year, as he only shot 42% from the field and 29% from three. Expect Rico to dominate next year after he's healthy.

- I'd drunk and tired. Oh, and if you read all this you probably need to get a life or a better job. I'm going to bed. go f yourself.