Doc Gooden is insane

Real quick:

Where the hell has this picture been all my life?

I loved Dwight Gooden growing up.  He was easily the most talented pitcher I had ever seen.  He then ruined his career with coke (seriously Damon Wayans character in The Last Boy Scout - which is an awesome awesome movie and if you disagree I will find you and kick you in your balls - was the football version of this guy) and has had some well-publicized battles with drugs.  Now he's battled back to be on twitter.  Naturally I follow him.  He is a Yankee fan.  Based on his tweets last night he has a fool proof, 3-point plan to restore the Yankees to glory:

1.  Sign Jose Reyes.

2.  Trade A.J. Burnett for Jason Bay.

3.  Trade the team's top 4 prospects for Felix Hernandez.

Everything about this made me laugh.  Just, very quickly:

1.  Reyes would actually be perfect for this team - except they signed Jeter to that extension and are still on the hook for $33 million the next two seasons.  Reyes isn't going to play 2b with Cano there, and you can't give up on A-Rod after one sub-par season when he's still owed $133 million through 2017 (note:  Holy fucking shit!  I'm giggling over here.).  They only way they're signing Reyes is if they can move Jeter or A-Rod, and they have about as much a chance of that as trading A.J. Burnett. 

2.  Oh.  Right.  Trading Burnett was leg 2.  It actually makes sense to bring up Bay here, since the Mets are one of the few teams who would at least consider trading for Burnett if it meant they could shed Bay.  Both are owed in the low $30 million range for 2 years left each, but Burnett has been awful for 2 years and will be 35 next season, while Bay is two years younger and has more battled injuries than been terrible, and his last full season, although coming two seasons ago, was an awfully good one.  In short, this is the kind of trade that I totally get why a Yankee fan would try to sell as realistic, but it really isn't.

3.  I don't even care who the other three guys are, you don't trade Jesus.  Judas tried that shit and he's now Hitler's love slave, but there's a whole lot of dumb in this idea.  The Yankees are getting old.  Cano and Brett Gardner were the only regulars under the age of 30 this season, and I'm not sure I'd count on Gardner as a fixture in the outfield.  Hughesy and Nova are their only starters under 30.  They're old, and right on cue they've actually started developing some young talent - Montero and Cano are studs.  There's some good pitching prospects in the pipeline, and they've got a lot of positions covered.  They're in good shape.  But Gooden's plan is to abandon that and gut the system for one guy - a great pitcher, yes, but yeah no.

In short, I freaking love crazy Dwight Gooden.  That is all.

Trade me again and I'll kill you (NOTE:  that doesn't really make sense but I really wanted to use this picture)

I have no idea what's going on here

I received this post from Super Sioux Fan, and apparently she teamed up with somebody who I don't know who it is to write something about hockey. I couldn't be bothered to read it because I'm currently laughing my ass off at Zack & Miri Make a Porno, which might be the greatest movie of all time.

So, whatever. Here you go. I'm sure this is as awesome as it is lucid.

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Gopher weekend Preview(Epic Guy)

Big series against UMD this weekend for my beloved Gophers; they seem to be suffering from the same ailment that all Minnesota teams have right now. Presently they sit in 7th place with 24 points, a sweep would catapault the Gophs into 5th place.
Kangas has gone from our lord and savior to...well...garbage. The goals he has been letting in have been extremely soft. Granted he is getting zero help from the defensemen. The Gopher's defensive efforts have been downright awful and any high school JV team could score a couple goals on them (see St. Cloud State).
The only Gopher defensemen that has impressed lately has been Aaron Ness. Cade Fairchild should focus more on D and less on shooting the puck into traffic and creating odd man rushes.

Bottom line is the Gophers need to stop trying to make the perfect pass and put a couple bodies in front of the net and get some garbage goals. They have the speed and skill to be the top team in the WCHA but have been lacking any sort of consistency. My prediction? Gophers split with the Bulldogs.


Siouxper Sioux Fan

Nice Epic guy.....WOW finally someone with some knowledge. Epic guy works with me and Snake....he loves the gophers, recently went on a 15 day argyle wearing streak, and has blonde very spiky hair. He is Legit.

So UND play CC this weekend and things are going just as I predicted. Anyone who seriously thought that the beginning of the season set our fate, is clearly an idiot. Granted I am not proud of the BS way we seem to always start out the season but it is our "thing" and whatever works I guess. We are currently in a deadlock for 1st place in the WCHA with Denver, I believe we do have 1 more game then them so we should be in the clear.
Our rookie goalie has really come through here for us as of late and it is like a 10 ton weight taken off of our shoulders (imagine WWWWW sitting on top of your shoulders......ouch)
The whole Siouxper Sioux Fan family will be heading to the final 5 this year. It is like our super bowl and we love it. I am going to be bold and say that we are going to sweep this weekend, I am also going to be obvious and say that the gophers are going to be eating broomstick.
That is just my predicition.

PS

Kangas=Hot Garbage