- Hey Punto, when you end up on the ground after throwing the ball all the way from the infield grass over to first base you don't look like a gritty hustler, you look like a moron.
- Text from Snacks at the game: "I'm actually watching Matt Wieters in person. He looks 10 feet tall." Seems low.
- Hey Bert, when Miguel Tejada slides into first base on a close play on a grounder, you shouldn't laud him for being a great leader for a young team at age 35. First, he's from Latin America which means he's probably closer to 40, and second, sliding into first is literally one of the dumbest things you can do on a baseball field. For an ex-player you are insanely dumb.
- You know what makes me feel really grown up and classy? The fact that I'm sitting here drinking Captain Cokes. After this maybe I'll just wash it down with some Coors Lights from the fridge. I can't decide if I feel more college or more trailer.
- Do you realize that both Ron Coomer and Dan Gladden are affiliated with the Twins in some sort of broadcast capacity? Don't you want to look for maybe more, I don't know, cerebral ex-players to fill these roles? I get Bert, because he's very friendly and personable in both real life and on the broadcast, so his dumb little things he says are almost endearing, but Coomer and Gladden drive me crazy. Especially Gladden. The Dazzle Man? The Dazzle Man? Dear god, why?
- So apparently on the broadcasts now they do a "Legendary Performance on this date in Twins' history" thing. Tonight's was from 2008, when Joe Mauer doubled in the top of the ninth to break up Gavin Floyd's no-hitter - a game the Sox won 7-1. Seriously? That's the best thing you could find on this date in Twins' history? Something that the White Sox could use as a legendary performance on this date in their history? Or is this just a Joe Mauer thing? Like, every day they have to say something Mauer did once? So maybe tomorrow it could be "On this date in 2007 Joe Mauer actually played catcher in a day game following a night game." Awesome.
- I somehow missed Wieters second at-bat. How is he 0-2? Is Carl Pavano now Warren Spahn? What's happening here?
- Kubel almost got a hit! That would have made him 2-2! Yep, facing Brad Bergeson cures all.
- Did you know Alexi Casilla has stole 29 bases out of 32 attempts in his career? That's incredible. And just now FSN flashed that same stat up, thus meaning I wasted my time looking it up on my own. Thanks, dicks.
- Even with that success rate, however, in the five pitches they threw Punto (which ended in him, yes, sliding headfirst into first base) they didn't send him. Know why? Wieters.
- Don't you find it awfully fishy that Dick and Bert get the daily trivia question right like, 99% of the time? I'm pretty sure if you came up to them on the street and asked who was the all-time leader in home runs they wouldn't be able to get it, yet they just nailed all four Oriole managers since Ron Gardenhire took over. Suspicious.
- Bert now whining about how so many players who have hit more HRs than Harmon Killebrew are "tainted." Then he said Jim Thome "has no taint." I'll leave that one alone.
- Wieters with a great at-bat, falling behind 0-2 and then fighting back to work a walk. Guy is just solid. Like Jesus. Just a solid dude.
- Brad Bergeson entered tonight's game with an ERA of 10.57 and a WHIP of 2.22 over 5 starts. He hadn't even made it to the sixth at any point this season, and got ripped by teams like Seattle and Toronto. He was so bad he was sent to triple-A at one point this year. He is so bad, I just realized I've been spelling his name wrong this whole time. And yet, he's now shut the Twins out through six and allowed just five hits. Jesus, talk about an emotional hangover after sweeping Detroit.
- The Twins trying to hit Bergeson is like Audrina trying to look like less than a perfect 10. Futile.
- Well, they finally chased Bergeson, and we now have two on and two out in a 2-0 game with Morneau up facing some fat lefty they just brought in. Since Morneau is on my fantasy team, I'm going to predict a weak ground-out.
- Well, he got him 0-2 and then walked him. You might say that Morneau is very Wieters-like in his ability to work the count.
- And Thome strikes out with the bases loaded, still 2-0 Orioles. They should have signed Jermaine Dye instead.
- This is a really impressive outing for Pavano. 8 ips, 6 hits, 8 Ks. Other than that home run to Wiggington he's been basically flawless. On a related note, did you know Wigginton has 10 home runs this year? How can that even be possible? His career high is 24, and now he's on pace to hit 50. Probably a roids guy. Also, did you know he finished 8th in the rookie of the year voting in 2003? You probably didn't. That's why I'm here. I'm an educator. You're welcome.
- Funny story. You know that MacGruber movie that's coming out that is based on those terrible SNL sketches and seems like the worst thing you've ever heard of and how could anybody be dumb enough to make that movie? Yeah, it's currently at 100% at Rotten Tomatoes. It's only 7 reviews so far, but every single one has been positive. I have no idea how this can be. I'm flummoxed. Also flummoxing is Jason Kubel's sudden inability to hit.
- Text from Grand Slam: "Is Tejada a Hall-of-Famer?" My gut says no, so I decided to check out his actual numbers to be more accurate. According to the Black Ink and Grey Ink tests on baseball reference (these evaluate a player based on leading the league in things or top 5) he's not even close, but according to Bill James' HOF Monitor test, which awards points for hitting over .300 or 30 home run season and such, he should be. Looking at his career, he has had some seriously monster seasons (including a 150 rbi year) and has gotten an MVP vote in 8 different seasons, including winning one in 2002 (not even his 150 rbi year). Being an offensive force at a position like SS definitely helps his cause. He's third all-time in HRs by a SS and 6th in RBI. I don't think he's got enough to get in, but he'll be an interesting case.
- Alfredo Simon in to get the save, and lucky for him he gets to start with Casilla and Punto. This guy is super hittable/walkable. If I were the Twins I'd make sure to come back and win this game. You just can't lose to the O's.
- Ground out, Ground out, Ground out. Game over, and the Orioles have shut out your precious Twins.
Season over.
- God the NBA is boring. Or at least this Orlando/Atlanta series is.
- Jamarcus Russell was straight up cut by Oakland? Man, I don't use this often because it's stupid but L.O.L. I did hear a story on the radio today about how coaches always prepare a DVD of the game plan for the next game and give it to the QBs to study, and the Oakland coaches suspected that Russell wasn't watching it. So one week they gave him a blank DVD, and then asked him what he thought of it and his answer was "it looks pretty good." Seriously though, if he didn't blow through his money like a typical athlete, he's set. He got $31.5 million in guaranteed money, so if he just lived even remotely frugally he'd be set for life and he would have hardly ever gotten tackled. He could just chill for the rest of his life and never have to work again. Of course, I'm going to assume he owns like 8 cars and has 6 kids and is probably already close to broke and we'll hear about him robbing a liquor store in three years, but I'm a stereotyper like that.
- I just read that Russell's cousin is Marshawn Lynch. Wow. That family really has their shit together.
- Also, he was actually better than both Ryan Leaf, and Akili Smith. God there have been some really bad quarterbacks (Spergon Wynn). And this is also a super boring conversation so I'm just going to stop now.
- Before I go, I want to let you know that Justin Smoak went yard again today. ROY (unless they give it to Wieters, even though it's his second year).
- Jenna Fischer is still hot.
Showing posts with label Jamarcus Russell. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jamarcus Russell. Show all posts
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Monday, September 28, 2009
Weekend Review - 9/28/2009
Obviously I survived our little cookout yesterday with Dawger, Super Sioux Fan, and Baby Dawger, and I had a shockingly good time. Super Sioux Fan didn't try to kill me (to my knowledge), we ate some good food, watched a hell of a win by the Vikes and a predictable loss by the Twins, I beat Dawger in HORSE, and learned that Vodka & Tab is actually pretty damn good. The day ended with hugs for all and by all, and I don't know which was scarier, when SSF hugged me, or when she hugged WonderbabyTM. Luckily, she decided not to kill either of us this time. Narrowly averted death, or grossly overestimated SSF craziness? I'll let you decide. Anyway, on to the stupid crap.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Jacob Edward Peavy. Great googily-moogily, how much does it suck that this guy is going to be in the AL Central until like, 2012 or something? In just his second start back from injury (since June 8th) he came out and completely shut down the Tigers Friday night, going seven scoreless innings allowing just six hits and striking out eight. The Sox (well, more accurately the Twins) needed him to throw that well too, since the White Sox bats weren't working against Tigers' starter Eddie Bonine who nobody has ever heard of. Bonine no-hit the Sox until their were 2 outs in the sixth, which is when Brandon "0 homers in the derby" Inge kicked away a routine groundball, letting Alex Rios reach. The next batter was David Beckham, who went yahtzee for the Sox first hit and gave them the 2-0 lead - which would also be the final margin. Anyway, this really sucks that Peavy is on the White Sox. AL pitchers are supposed to go over to the NL and dominate, not the other way around. It's going to be frustrating watching the Twins flail away against him.
2. Phil Mickelson. Well this was pretty unexpected. I thought Mickelson was essentially done for the year after the whole double cancer issue, and his play was showing it, but he came up huge and won the Tour Championship this weekend. He didn't have a finish in the top-25 in the five tournaments since the US Open, and started slowly this weekend with a 73 (+3) on Thursday, but he got better each day, closing it out 67-66-65, good enough for nine under par and a three shot win over a Tiger, not to mention an extra $1.35 million in the bank. Tiger ended up the winner of the $10 mil and the Fed Ex Cup, but this is a good win for Phil not only to build on, but to remind everybody that he's still the second best golfer in the world. I'm thinking 2010 might end up being a big year for him.
3. South Florida. Huge win over #18 Florida State on Saturday in Tallahassee, fueled by two major parts - QB B.J. Daniels and their defense, particularly the defensive line. The Bulls defense held the Seminoles to just 7 points and 16 rushing yards in their 17-7 upset, while sacking FSU QB Christian Ponder five times, forcing (and recovering) four fumbles, and putting so much pressure on the QB that FSU had to abandon anything down field. Daniels is an even better story - making his first career start, replacing four-year starter Matt Grothe who is now out for the season with an injury. Not only that, the Seminoles recruited Daniels but told him they wanted him as a WR, not as a QB, but he certainly showed them, tossing for 215 yards and 2 scores while rushing for 124 yards. It was the first time since 1986 FSU as allowed an opposing QB to run for over 100 yards, and is the first win over Florida's big three schools for the Bulls. I have a feeling they had a good time that night.
4. Zack Greinke. Seeing as the Twins' were fortunate enough to miss Mr. Greinke all season long, I never really got to see him pitch. Now that I have, holy dear god. This guy is ridiculous. His fastball is in the upper mid-nineties and tails about a foot, his curve falls off a cliff, and his change had guys lunging like Cuddyer after a slider in the dirt, but I'm talkiing good hitters like Kubel and Span. He shut down the Twins Sunday, and his season numbers are now a 16-8 record, a 2.06 ERA, and a 1.07 WHIP, and he's either first or second in every meaningful pitching category. Honestly, him losing the Cy Young might be a bigger travesty than Mauer losing the MVP. This one is a true test of how stupid award voters are, which makes me very nervous for Greinke. Here's hoping they make the right choice. Oh, and just for kicks, his ERA in September is 0.35. No lie.
5. Greg Lewis. That catch was sick. Absolutely gorgeous. I'll admit, when the Vikes picked up Lewis my reaction was to make a dismissive wanking motion, but it turns out I was dead wrong. Favre is the hero here, no doubt, for a great play on that finale as well as for leading the team on the game winning drive - one which T-Jax couldn't have pulled off - but if Lewis doesn't make that ridiculous catch that's the ball game, the Vikes are 2-1, and everybody is freaking out and wondering if the team sucks now. And speaking of sucks, it really sucks that Frank Gore is hurt. Not just because he is on my fantasy team either. Ok just kidding. That's pretty much the whole reason.
Here is Lewis's catch. If you haven't seen it, you need to watch it. If you have, are you telling me you don't want to see it again?
WHO SUCKED
1. Ole Miss. I had no idea Ole Miss was ranked #4 in football. I thought the only time they were good was when Eli Manning was slinging the pill all those years back and that they had faded back into mediocrity. Apparently not so, but they may be heading that way after laying an absolute egg and losing 16-10 to the unranked Gamecocks of South Carolina on Thursday. After looking into it, it turns out that this is the highest ranking the Rebels have had since 1970, and also that their QB, Jevan Snead is thought of as one of the best QBs in college football. He certainly didn't play like it, putting up a Jake Delhomme of a day, completing just 7 of 21 passes for the game and leading the Rebs on a drive of more than 49 yards just once. Oh well, another top 5 teams bites it. Maybe this will help get a non-BCS team like Boise into the championship game. Plus, I finally get to post this picture of Ole Miss chicks I've been holding onto.
3. Tampa Bay. Guess how many yards Tampa Bay gained Sunday against the Giants. Nevermind, it's impossible to even guess - it's 86. 86 yards. Eighty-six. And that's the entire game, mind you, not just a half or a quarter or a drive. Byron Leftwich, Tampa's QB and the guy I just picked up to be my backup QB, completed just seven of 16 attemps, for a huge total of 22 yards and a pick before being pulled for Josh Johnson who I have never heard of. Johnson was much more effective, completing four of ten for 36 yards, and also rushing once for a gain of 15. Funny thing about that 15 yard gain is that it made Johnson the leading rusher for the Bucs on the day. That vaunted three-headed monster at RB of Earnest Graham, Cadillac Williams, and Derrick Ward racked up a grand total of 13 yards, with Caddy leading the way with eight. Needless to say, they scored 0 points and are starting to look like they're going to give the Rams, Browns, and Raiders a run for that first overall pick in 2010, or as I like to call it, "The Sam Bradford Sweepstakes."
4. Jamarcus Russell. Remember when the Raiders took Russell first overall in the 2007 draft and everybody was like "Dude, what? This guy isn't a first overall type. There's way better guys like, oh, say Adrian Peterson available. If you really need a QB, trade down and take Brady Quinn at least. Good god, you're not really going to take J-Russ first are you?" Well, it keeps looking more and more like everybody was right. Russell laid his latest bomb on Sunday, completing 12-21 passes for a grand total of 61 yards (and 2 picks). That's five yards per completion. Five. I don't even know how that is possible. I wish I would have watched this game. Was it a series of shovel passes? Failed screen after failed screen? I'm stumped. That gave him a QB rating of 22.6, which will really drag down his season rating of 46.6 coming into the game. The best part? He's making north of $16 million this year. Awesome.
5. Francisco Liriano. Let's just go ahead and shut it down guys, it's over for Franky. In case you missed it, he decided he didn't even want to get out of the second inning against KC on Sunday, mainly because he once again refused to throw strikes and when he did people like frickin' Yuniesky Betancourt hit it eight billion miles. He needs to work his ass off this winter and figure something out, because his career is about thisclose to being over right now. Assuming he doesn't pitch again this season (please god), his final numbers are 5-13 with an ERA of 5.88 and a WHIP of 1.56. I don't have the time or inclination right now to get further into his numbers (Sidler, you still alive?), but things really aren't good. He's like the Jamarcus Russell of pitchers.
So that'll do it. Honorable mention for sucking to Terrell Owens, who didn't have a catch yesterday because he's gay.
I am off to the Detroit City tomorrow, and will be spending two nights in the toilet bowl of america - including one night when I'll be at Comerica Park to no doubt watch the Twins lose. For now I leave you with this awesome picture of Baby Dawger and WonderbabyTM.
WHO WAS AWESOME
1. Jacob Edward Peavy. Great googily-moogily, how much does it suck that this guy is going to be in the AL Central until like, 2012 or something? In just his second start back from injury (since June 8th) he came out and completely shut down the Tigers Friday night, going seven scoreless innings allowing just six hits and striking out eight. The Sox (well, more accurately the Twins) needed him to throw that well too, since the White Sox bats weren't working against Tigers' starter Eddie Bonine who nobody has ever heard of. Bonine no-hit the Sox until their were 2 outs in the sixth, which is when Brandon "0 homers in the derby" Inge kicked away a routine groundball, letting Alex Rios reach. The next batter was David Beckham, who went yahtzee for the Sox first hit and gave them the 2-0 lead - which would also be the final margin. Anyway, this really sucks that Peavy is on the White Sox. AL pitchers are supposed to go over to the NL and dominate, not the other way around. It's going to be frustrating watching the Twins flail away against him.
2. Phil Mickelson. Well this was pretty unexpected. I thought Mickelson was essentially done for the year after the whole double cancer issue, and his play was showing it, but he came up huge and won the Tour Championship this weekend. He didn't have a finish in the top-25 in the five tournaments since the US Open, and started slowly this weekend with a 73 (+3) on Thursday, but he got better each day, closing it out 67-66-65, good enough for nine under par and a three shot win over a Tiger, not to mention an extra $1.35 million in the bank. Tiger ended up the winner of the $10 mil and the Fed Ex Cup, but this is a good win for Phil not only to build on, but to remind everybody that he's still the second best golfer in the world. I'm thinking 2010 might end up being a big year for him.
3. South Florida. Huge win over #18 Florida State on Saturday in Tallahassee, fueled by two major parts - QB B.J. Daniels and their defense, particularly the defensive line. The Bulls defense held the Seminoles to just 7 points and 16 rushing yards in their 17-7 upset, while sacking FSU QB Christian Ponder five times, forcing (and recovering) four fumbles, and putting so much pressure on the QB that FSU had to abandon anything down field. Daniels is an even better story - making his first career start, replacing four-year starter Matt Grothe who is now out for the season with an injury. Not only that, the Seminoles recruited Daniels but told him they wanted him as a WR, not as a QB, but he certainly showed them, tossing for 215 yards and 2 scores while rushing for 124 yards. It was the first time since 1986 FSU as allowed an opposing QB to run for over 100 yards, and is the first win over Florida's big three schools for the Bulls. I have a feeling they had a good time that night.
4. Zack Greinke. Seeing as the Twins' were fortunate enough to miss Mr. Greinke all season long, I never really got to see him pitch. Now that I have, holy dear god. This guy is ridiculous. His fastball is in the upper mid-nineties and tails about a foot, his curve falls off a cliff, and his change had guys lunging like Cuddyer after a slider in the dirt, but I'm talkiing good hitters like Kubel and Span. He shut down the Twins Sunday, and his season numbers are now a 16-8 record, a 2.06 ERA, and a 1.07 WHIP, and he's either first or second in every meaningful pitching category. Honestly, him losing the Cy Young might be a bigger travesty than Mauer losing the MVP. This one is a true test of how stupid award voters are, which makes me very nervous for Greinke. Here's hoping they make the right choice. Oh, and just for kicks, his ERA in September is 0.35. No lie.
5. Greg Lewis. That catch was sick. Absolutely gorgeous. I'll admit, when the Vikes picked up Lewis my reaction was to make a dismissive wanking motion, but it turns out I was dead wrong. Favre is the hero here, no doubt, for a great play on that finale as well as for leading the team on the game winning drive - one which T-Jax couldn't have pulled off - but if Lewis doesn't make that ridiculous catch that's the ball game, the Vikes are 2-1, and everybody is freaking out and wondering if the team sucks now. And speaking of sucks, it really sucks that Frank Gore is hurt. Not just because he is on my fantasy team either. Ok just kidding. That's pretty much the whole reason.
Here is Lewis's catch. If you haven't seen it, you need to watch it. If you have, are you telling me you don't want to see it again?
WHO SUCKED
1. Ole Miss. I had no idea Ole Miss was ranked #4 in football. I thought the only time they were good was when Eli Manning was slinging the pill all those years back and that they had faded back into mediocrity. Apparently not so, but they may be heading that way after laying an absolute egg and losing 16-10 to the unranked Gamecocks of South Carolina on Thursday. After looking into it, it turns out that this is the highest ranking the Rebels have had since 1970, and also that their QB, Jevan Snead is thought of as one of the best QBs in college football. He certainly didn't play like it, putting up a Jake Delhomme of a day, completing just 7 of 21 passes for the game and leading the Rebs on a drive of more than 49 yards just once. Oh well, another top 5 teams bites it. Maybe this will help get a non-BCS team like Boise into the championship game. Plus, I finally get to post this picture of Ole Miss chicks I've been holding onto.
2. Cal. Yikers, there isn't a font big enough to post this OOF, an embarrassing, emasculating, and disembowling loss 42-3 against the terrible Oregon Ducks. The Bears scored first, going up 3-0, but the the Ducks reeled of 42 unanswered on their way to gaining more than double the yards of Cal. Jahvid Best, who you probably remember shredding the Gophers, gained just 65 yards. What's weird is that Cal didn't really even turn the ball over - just one fumble - they just couldn't do anything. They had the ball 14 times and couldn't muster a single drive over 50 yards; the only reason they even scored was because Oregon fumbled the opening kickoff. Just wow. Just a horrid performance on both sides of the ball.
3. Tampa Bay. Guess how many yards Tampa Bay gained Sunday against the Giants. Nevermind, it's impossible to even guess - it's 86. 86 yards. Eighty-six. And that's the entire game, mind you, not just a half or a quarter or a drive. Byron Leftwich, Tampa's QB and the guy I just picked up to be my backup QB, completed just seven of 16 attemps, for a huge total of 22 yards and a pick before being pulled for Josh Johnson who I have never heard of. Johnson was much more effective, completing four of ten for 36 yards, and also rushing once for a gain of 15. Funny thing about that 15 yard gain is that it made Johnson the leading rusher for the Bucs on the day. That vaunted three-headed monster at RB of Earnest Graham, Cadillac Williams, and Derrick Ward racked up a grand total of 13 yards, with Caddy leading the way with eight. Needless to say, they scored 0 points and are starting to look like they're going to give the Rams, Browns, and Raiders a run for that first overall pick in 2010, or as I like to call it, "The Sam Bradford Sweepstakes."
4. Jamarcus Russell. Remember when the Raiders took Russell first overall in the 2007 draft and everybody was like "Dude, what? This guy isn't a first overall type. There's way better guys like, oh, say Adrian Peterson available. If you really need a QB, trade down and take Brady Quinn at least. Good god, you're not really going to take J-Russ first are you?" Well, it keeps looking more and more like everybody was right. Russell laid his latest bomb on Sunday, completing 12-21 passes for a grand total of 61 yards (and 2 picks). That's five yards per completion. Five. I don't even know how that is possible. I wish I would have watched this game. Was it a series of shovel passes? Failed screen after failed screen? I'm stumped. That gave him a QB rating of 22.6, which will really drag down his season rating of 46.6 coming into the game. The best part? He's making north of $16 million this year. Awesome.
5. Francisco Liriano. Let's just go ahead and shut it down guys, it's over for Franky. In case you missed it, he decided he didn't even want to get out of the second inning against KC on Sunday, mainly because he once again refused to throw strikes and when he did people like frickin' Yuniesky Betancourt hit it eight billion miles. He needs to work his ass off this winter and figure something out, because his career is about thisclose to being over right now. Assuming he doesn't pitch again this season (please god), his final numbers are 5-13 with an ERA of 5.88 and a WHIP of 1.56. I don't have the time or inclination right now to get further into his numbers (Sidler, you still alive?), but things really aren't good. He's like the Jamarcus Russell of pitchers.
So that'll do it. Honorable mention for sucking to Terrell Owens, who didn't have a catch yesterday because he's gay.
I am off to the Detroit City tomorrow, and will be spending two nights in the toilet bowl of america - including one night when I'll be at Comerica Park to no doubt watch the Twins lose. For now I leave you with this awesome picture of Baby Dawger and WonderbabyTM.
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