DFW, Take 2

After driving around the Dallas/Fort Worth area for a second day, I realized I wasn't nearly harsh enough before about what a squalid shitbox this area really is. I want to paint a really vivid picture, but I can't come up with the words and you probably wouldn't believe me if I did (we saw a store that advertised two things - Donuts and Jewelry, we saw two guys riding horses on the side of the freeway, and at one place on a road they didn't have stop signs, they instead had painted stop lines on the ground (red lines that said STOP), and another place the stop sign was an octagonal white sign with the word STOP spray painted in green - I swear I'm not making this up).

The best I can do is read this post about Dumpster Arena in Chicago. Now imagine that arena was expanded to the size of two cities, filled with poor people, people who wear cowboy hats, poor people who wear cowboy hats, and people with obscenely large trucks that are older than dirt, and then give everybody a gun and a horse and dump a whole bunch of oppressive heat on them. That's Dallas/FW. Except it's also under construction so badly there is a giant hole in the middle of the main freeway. Anonymous's joke in the comments below is dead on accurate, and I laughed out loud. I can't wait to get out of here. Did you know at the Walgreen's here the Axe Body Spray is under lock and key? Like you have to ask someone to get it out if you want to buy it? Freaking unreal.

Luckily the night ended up pretty well. We had a nice dinner (prime rib, steak fries, and a ceasar salad with a couple vodka & tonics) and then found a Texas dive bar 0.5 miles from our hotel that had cheap booze, golden tee, pool, and alternated between twangy country and eminem. The moral of the story is I'm a little bit drunk right now and have 6.5 beers in the sink with ice that I plan to finish. Rock and roll.

- As good as the news is from Chicago with the Twins breaking their losing streak by stomping the Sox 20-1, there's bad news for Twins fans as well. It seems the Sox and the Padres have agreed to a trade which would bring super stud Jake Peavy over to Chicago, and are just waiting for Peavy to waive his no-trade clause. Reports say it's 50/50 for him, since he loves the west coast and the national league, but with the Padres sucking year-after-year and his former teammate and good friend Scott Linebrink on the Sox, I'm guessing he goes.

And the Padres are getting a pretty good haul. Reportedly it's four players, and the two confirmed already are pitcher Aaron Poreda, Chicago's #2 prospect by Baseball America and a first round pick in 2007, and another pitcher Clayton Richard, their number 3 prospect. It's unknown who the other two might be, but San Diego is looking for a shortstop and with Alexei Ramirez and #1 prospect Gordon Beckham in his way, former top prospect Brett Lillibridge would be a great get for the Padres. He was Atlanta's #6 prospect in 2008, and came over in the Javier Vazquez trade, but has been less than stellar on a pro level. A change to San Diego might do him well, and would sweeten the deal for the Padres.

Also never mind all of this, because I just saw it come across on ESPN that Peavy vetoed the deal so this is all pointless now.

- I love Mila Kunis so much. There are no words.

- Speaking of awesome, did you see that Ricky Weeks is out for the year for the Brewers with a wrist injury? Guy has been pretty hardily maligned in his big league career because he hasn't really lived up to his lofty projections, but I've always been a fan, mostly because I really dig guys with plate discipline. And Weeks has it big time - he was in the top 10 in walk percentage two years ago and in the top 30 last year. He had been more of a Rickey Henderson without the hitting in those years, but this season was finally hitting the ball, putting up 9 homers and a line of .272/.340/.517. Unfortunately, you can forget it, as he's on the shelf for the season. Bummer.

- So let's look at this NBA draft we have upcoming here. It's a pretty big one for the hapless Wolfies, with three first round picks. According to ESPN.com, they will end up with Demar Derozan, BJ Mullens, and Patty Mills. According to NBADraft.net, they will end up with Derozan, Mills, and Terrence Williams. Hopefully, they will end up with Earl Clark, Mills, and Sam Young. Unfortunately, the wolves have a fairly detailed history of screwing this all up, and so I expect them to come out of this with Brandon Jennings, a foreigner, and a trade that gets them Zach Randolph. God I couldn't be less interested in a Minnesota team. Talk about mismanagement. I think I read that they actually hired a new GM so hopefully this guy has his shit together. Somebody has to at some point, right? RIGHT?

- The TV wants me to know that for a good time I should text 55425 for a good time and to talk to hot girls. $20 says The Todd actually tries this.

- Have you heard about this Greg Paulus shit? He's seriously going to go play the football at the Syracuse. I guess when you're a top prospect in both football and basketball, and then it turns out you suck at basketball, you must be a super star in football. Jesus talk about getting the superstar treatment. I have never rooted for Greg Paulus in anything, ever, but I am really hoping he gets the starting job since the Cuse opens against the Gophers next year. I'm sure some guy in the secondary and that one guy who is a corner on the team will be licking their chops going against Paulus. Seriously I can't name one defensive player on the Gopher football team. I'm a very robust Gopher blog.

- HBO Family is showing Fletch. Looks like I will be up for a while.

- You know who was awesome in the 80s? Roy Marble and Jeff Moe from Iowa. What a perfect pairing. Marble was the slasher type, and Moe was what Hoffarber wants to be, the perfect dead-eye shooter. I'm trying to research more info on Moe, and all I can find is that he was coked our of his gourd most of his career. Works for me man, shine on you crazy diamond.

- Oh, one thing I forgot to tell you about Dallas is how freaking ugly Texas Stadium (home of the Cowboys) is. Serously it's very dumpster area-like, and essentially looks like an old rundown warehouse but in a football stadium form. It looks about 100 years old, and I think bricks are actually falling out every single day. Seriously, don't ever visit Dallas. I'm doing you a favor.

- Dr. Rosenpenis. Classic.

Greetings and Salutations from the Windy City

Yes, I am once again on the road, this time in the Greatest City in the World, the lovely Chicago. Unfortunately I am only here for tonight, and had no time to get together with Bogart (I'll see you in a month good buddy). Instead, we went to a Sports Bar called Mother Hubbards and ate some wings and played some Golden Tee. The Golden Tee was ok, I sucked the first game and rocked the second game, but the real issue I have is with the wings. Seriously, who wants their wings not separated? It's like doing minor surgery to get to any actual food. If I wanted to work this hard, I would go somewhere and get crab legs. Places that have non-separated wings seriously need to put that somewhere on the menu. Total BS. And also some weird dude next to us was playing the Tee, and he called himself "Da Govna" and tried to mack on all the waitresses and it was just brutal. I want to stab him in the face. Anyway, I have several other bones to pick with you people.

- The first thing I want to talk about is Bracket Busters, which happens this weekend. It is a pretty cool deal, there is no doubt, but in reality there is not much here that will impact the NCAA tournament. There are 51 games, and other than a few at the top, most are relatively meaningless. I mean, Georgia State (RPI rank 289) vs. Eastern Michigan (RPI #320)? What the bloody hell? There are only 343 teams in Division I. What bracket exactly is this supposed to be busting?

64 teams go to the NCAA tournament, 32 to the NIT, and 16 to the CBI. There would (theoretically, of course) have to be 3 other 64-team tournaments before either of these teams would be invited. I mean, jesus, South Dakota State is involved in this thing (RPI 275) playing the exciting 6-15 Cal Poly Schillings (RPI 285). The best though, is definitely the 6-16 Northern Illinois (RPI 323) traveling to the 2-22 Southeast Missouri State (RPI 336 - OUT OF 343!). I'm starting to think they just pick the teams out of a hat.

Now, there are some pretty solid matchups as well. The Butler/Davidson tilt is the marquee matchup, although with Curry hurt it loses some of the luster of watching Curry shoot 4-54 and still get praised. Both teams are likely already in the tournament, but this would have a good effect on seeding. Even better are the Utah State/St Mary's and Northern Iowa/Siena games. None of the four teams are a lock at this point, and all are squarely on the bubble. A win for any of them would go a long way - pretty much what I thought the point of this whole exercise was. George Mason vs. Creighton is another good one, although neither team is really on the bubble just yet, a win in this game would give that team a boost towards it - especially for Creighton. That's pretty much it for NCAA ramifications (although I find the NDSU/UW-Milwaukee game a bit intriguing).

Never fear, however, I have a solution. Open this baby up to all non-BCS conferences, bringing in the Mountain West, Conference USA, and the Atlantic 10. You know who really could use a big win? Temple (RPI 34), New Mexico (RPI 75), UAB (RPI 39), Houston (RPI 87), and Tulsa (RPI 70). According to Joe Lunardi at ESPN, none of those teams are in the tournament right now, and all are having pretty good seasons and could use a bigger chance to prove themselves against a team in a similar position rather than beating up on the dregs of their conference.

Also weird, there's not a single Sun Belt team involved here? Troy (RPI 126), Western Kentucky (RPI 65), and Little Rock (RPI 93) are all in a position where they could benefit from one of these games. Yet, there's nothing. Chalk me up as one who loves the idea, but doesn't get the execution of this event. And since I've already written 500 words on this, I'll just let it go for now.

- I'm almost positive Purdue has a direct line to the biggest floppers/can't stay on his feet ever kind of guys. First Brian Cardinal, now Chris Kramer. That has to the top two of all-time, with Greg Paulus coming in a distant third:


- Speaking of Paulus, what is it exactly that he does well? He doesn't score (6ppg), can't shoot (38%, 33% from three), and isn't a wizard with the ball (1.7 assists to 1.0 turnovers). He can't play defense, as I've more than once heard them reference "Duke having to play Nolan Smith here for defensive purposes). I mean, Wojo was annoying back in the day - as many dukie PG were, but at least he served a purpose, I think. This guy just straight up sucks. He's worse than Ron Powlus.

- Angry thing number 2 is how I heard on the radio the other day some jackass saying, "The Yankees hands down have the best rotation in baseball." What? For reals? I haven't even done any research but I bet that's not true, especially the "hands down" part. It's just more Yankee loving around the world. Makes me sick.

You have: Sabathia, Burnett, Wang, Pettitte, Chamberlain. I have no quibble with Sabathia. I still think he's heading for an injury after all the innings he's piled up, but I can't assume one, so he's definitely good. I will go ahead and assume an injury for Burnett, the Fred Taylor of MLB. No way in hell this guy stays healthy for another year, especially after getting all that fat cash. Seriously, you're going to give a 32 year old that kind of money after a season where he pitched a career high in innings and was barely above league average? No wonder the Yankees are down the shitter. Wang is fine, especially as a non-ace, but he's also coming off an injury. Pettitte is like, 45, and is actually fine as a number 4 - he'll give you 200 innings but he's coming off the worst three years of his career, I have no idea how you expect that to turn around. And Chamberlain is a hell of a set-up man who they are, again, going to try to shoehorn into a starter.

I'm not saying it's a bad rotation, it's actually quite good if Sabathia, Burnett, and Wang all stay healthy (not likely) and they keep Chamberlain out of the bullpen (slightly more likely), but it's no where near the best rotation - "HANDS DOWN."

I won't even try, let's just pick a team. I'll pick the Rays. How bout Shields, Kazmir, Garza, Price, Sonnastine. Plenty of questions, but which would you take, Rays or Yankees? Hell, even the Cubs shitty rotation is on the same level: Zambrano, Harden, Dempster, Lilly, and Marshall. I'm not sure I wouldn't take the Cubs. You want young? Even beyond the Twins? How about the Reds? Harang, Volquez, Arroyo, Cuerto, and Bailey? That's pretty solid. Indians? Royals? Angels?

Point being, the Yankees are in good shape but there are a lot of teams with a rotation I would call in the same class, if not better. Hell even the Padres and Phillies are in good shape, but with a total stud who doesn't have the injury question mark of Sabathia - who, yes, hasn't had injury issues but jesus look at the dude. Call me crazy, but I'm going to go ahead and say the national media are idiots.

- Did you see how the Curse of DWG hit Thabeet in the biggest way? You might also say it said something to do with DeJuan Blair, but I prefer to blame me.

- Did you know that Dominique Keller of Illinois full name is Dominique DePaul Keller? Like, his middle name comes from the school called "DePaul" in Chicago. And yet, he chose to go to Illinois over DePaul. Wow. Even still, Krys Faber chose that dumpster school over the gophers. Good job Krys.

- Jesus Christ, professional wrestling is on ESPN Classic right now.

- So I never really gave a breakdown of my casino visit at Turtle Lake. I finished up 52 dollars, the only one to win money. Mainly thanks to stellar craps rollers like Skip to My Bones, the Golden Bear, the Milwaukee Kid, and Joe the Attorney, as well as myself and Snacks. We all did fairly well rolling, and it feels like I (we) should have been up way more, but there were a lot of really bad rollers who killed it. Especially the blonde fonzi who slid in at the very end and starting betting $100+ on the don't pass and killed the whole vibe. I bet Bogart bets the don't pass. What a dick. Yet in his defense some crazy Indian lady was there in a wheelchair and had a Cade McNown jersey on, and Bogart owns a McNown jersey, so I'm no really sure of the proper protocol here.

- You know what sucks? When you get in your cab at the airport and say "Marriott Magnificent Mile" and the dude's like, "address?" and you're like, "the Marriott on Michigan Avenue" and he's like, "I need the address" so you have to take a bunch of shit out of your bag to get the paper with the address. So you tell him and he's like, "oh yeah" and you're like "no shit, the only Marriott on Michigan ave" and then you finally get there and want to pay by credit card - which their sign says you can - and you try and he's like, "Man it will take ten minutes" so you go ahead and pay by cash and hope to god you don't lose the receipt. Then when you get to the room you realize you took your book out of your bag to get your papers you shouldn't have needed and managed to leave it in the cab. Especially when you were half way through it and even though it was a shitty stupid book "Clive cussler - shock wave" you still want to finish it and now you're going to have to re-buy it. Damn it. I mean, I have an extra book with me, of course, "Children of Hurin - Tolkein" but still.

- This basketball season seems exceptionally weird, no? BC beats Duke AND UNC, yet loses to Harvard. Arkansas beats Oklahoma and Texas, yet loses pretty much every SEC game. Michigan beats Duke and UCLA, yet is struggling in the Big Ten. And Michigan State rolls through everybody in conference, unless it's Northwestern or Penn State. And suddenly Wisconsin is relevant again and in contention for an NCAA bid, but they lost to Minnesota at home. Dogs and cats living together, I tells ya.

- I really hope Devron Bostick doesn't transfer, but hell, I can't blame him if he does. He's shown some serious talent, at least in the Wisconsin game, and I really think he needs more of a chance. I mean, seriously, we're playing Shamala and Busch over him? I don't get it. Why recruit him then? I'm not saying he's some sort of savior, but I really think he should get more time. I've seen a bit of a defensive deficiency in there, but that's kind of par for the course when it comes to JuCos, so I would assume Tubby has seen that and/or knew about it. I don't get it. I mean, the dude hasn't played more than 10 minutes since the game at Wisconsin when he played 21 and dominated. That was also the only time he played more than 19 minutes this year. He's hit double digit minutes in less than half of the games this year, and that's got to be frustrating. Wouldn't you transfer if you were him?

- I really hate to question Tubby, but at this point, I kind of have to, don't I? Since that genius weave at Wisconsin (which I was there for) I can't remember any other time I've been particularly impressed with anything he's done - save recruiting. I mean, Busch played 28 minutes against Penn State. 28 minutes. More than Bostick has played in a single game this year. MORE THAN PAUL CARTER HAS PLAYED IN A GAME THIS YEAR. I'm having trouble coming up with any situation where Busch should play over Carter, and yet, here we are. I OFFICIALLY don't get it.

- I'm depressed and I have to go to bed. Here is a picture of Wonderbaby to make it up to you:

And just in case that's not what you're looking for here's some random LSU fan for you (I still reserve the right to use this later)


- [ ed. note: ah crap, I stepped on the rare sidler post. Please still read. he's much smarter and less drunk than me. And smarter.]

Happy Birthday Snacks

I'm leaving in about an hour to fly to Pasadena for a week long National Sales Conference. I will have my computer, but will be in meetings all day with dinners and other functions in the evening, so I'm not sure how much I'll be able to post. Luckily, we'll have The Sidler, Grand Slam, Snake, and a special guest poster to keep you entertained. Will Down with Goldy survive without it's fearless leader? Will it improve? Stay tuned.

Here is this week's ranking of the Big Ten teams:

1. Purdue - Wow. I knew they had a great class this year, but who knew they would be this good this soon. To go into Madison and come out with a win is nothing short of amazing. 10-1 with their only loss by 3 at Michigan State. Their only good non-conference win is against Louisville, or they'd be a top ten team right now.

2. Wisconsin - It's really difficult to rank the next three teams. I'll go with Wisconsin, who hammered Indiana in their meeting and would be undefeated in the Big Ten if it wasn't for Purdue. I think the Badgers might be able to make a little noise in March.

3. Michigan State - The losses at Iowa and at Penn State are embarrassing, and maybe they should be below the Hoosiers, but this team has a much better shot to do anything in the tournament than Indiana does. Their roster is well put together, inside and out, and with Izzo coaching they could do well.

4. Indiana - I still can't get that UCONN loss out of my head. It was absolutely one of the worst played games by a top team I can ever remember. Despite that, they are still 9-1 and 20-3, albeit without a single impressive victory on their resume. I'll be shocked if they get passed the first weekend of the NCAAs.

5. Ohio State - Clearly the fifth best team, a step below the top four and a step above the bottom crap. Will likely be a tournament team, but still have to play all four top teams, with three at Columbus. If they collapse, Big Ten only gets four bids. I feel sorry for whichever NBA team drafts Koufos.

6. Minnesota - The win over Iowa cements the Gophers as the Big Ten's sixth best team, which isn't saying much until you remember last season. Two wins in a row start off a nice schedule where the Gophers will likely go 5-1, giving delusional fans just enough hope to crush their soul.

7. Iowa - An ugly team from an ugly state playing an ugly style in an ugly arena. Winning enough at home to stay out of the cellar. Ugly basketball.

8. Michigan - Get this spot as the only one out of the bottom four to win this week, even though it was against Penn State - it still counts.

9. Illinois - I picked them to finish third in the Big Ten this year. Third. 3rd. I have no credibility. You probably should be embarrassed to even be reading this.

10. Penn State - I was actually pretty interested to see if they could make a little run this year and make the tournament, before Claxton went down. Without him, they're basically another Northwestern.

11. Northwestern - What is there to say?


And finally, in honor of Snacks' birthday, I present a nice Greg Paulus highlight. I'll talk to you from sunny and warm Pasadena.