Brew Crew/D-Backs Live Blog?

So here's the sitch.  Wife and kids have peaced out.  Wife is on her way with her mother to Colorado to visit her sister on what sounds like the world's longest road trip, especially when you have to stop in the middle of nowhere Nebraska to get your car checked out because it's overheating.  Kids are at my parents because they're retired and it makes little sense for me to drop them off before work and pick them up after for two days, so I'm on my own.  I just got done schooling my boys Theory and Lunny in hoop by raining Js and teaching class (no shtick, I was 3-0 in 21-hustle) and then we hit the local pub for a few beers.  Now I have nothing else to do so I'm going to watch the Brewers/D-Backs game.  Because what else am I gonna do?

-  Just poured myself a captain & coke.  Except we have a stupid fridge that we can't quite get the temp figured out on just right, so in order to add the coke I had to open three coke zeros and one diet coke to get the non-frozen parts out to make a full drink.  And this is like 60% captain here.  So that happened.

-  Bets for today's game:  Nyjer Morgan YES Hit, Miguel Montero YES Hit, Prince Fielder more total bases than Justin Upton.

-  And Morgan is not in the lineup because of that ass Carlos Gomez.  That was a guaranteed winner.  You guys remember when Snacks said that Gomez would eventually be a 30-30 guy?  He still has gotten there in his career.  He's still only 25 so it's not like it's over yet and he's definitely got 3 tools, it's just that the two he's missing are hitting and hitting.  I don't know, I feel saucy.  I'm going to predict a big day for Mr. Gomez.

-  Announcer guy:  Saunders has to pitch from behind in the count.  It's just how his offspeed stuff works better.  Wow holy crap I just looked it up because it sounded like an incredibly stupid thing to say and he's actually right.  His two best counts are 1-0 and 2-0, while his worst count is 0-2.  How fucked up is this guy?

-  Fuckin' Fielder.  Walks don't count as bases.

-  FYI - I assume he's gone in any leagues you're in, but Denarius Moore is about to destroy the NFL.  Fact.  Might be next year, might even be the year after that, but if you're in a keeper don't let him go.

-  I can't believe Willie Bloomquist is leading off for a playoff team.  That's like seeing Matt Tolbert lead off for a playoff team in a couple of years.  Bloomquist career OPS+ = 75, Tolbert 65.  Once you get under 90 it's pretty much the same thing.  Unless you're talking about Butera or Rivera, they're in a special class.  Not Ramos though.  He's basically the 6th best catcher in the league (M. Montero, McCann, Avila, Santana, Posey) and that's if he doesn't get better.  But hey, at least we have a completely average reliever.

-  Upton walks.  So we're even.

-  Montero base knock.  Looking good.  Oh also I have the Brewers to win fairly heavy, which is super awesome because Ryan Roberts, who is terrible at baseball, just hit a grand slam.  Nice pitch, Wolf.  Looked super Blackburny.

-  So somebody in the comments wanted me to talk about football.  Well what should we talk about?  The Gophers?  Why?  If you want Gopher talk you have The Daily Gopher and Still Got Hope?  I literally have nothing to say about the Gopher football program.  It's a mess.  I like what Kill is spilling, but Brewster left the team barren of talent and it shows.  Vikings?  Also terrible.  You really want me to rehash the whole "out in Ponder" bit?  Yeah, I think they should put him in, but on the other hand this paragraph has been excrutiatingly difficult to write so I'm just done.

-  Announcer guy just tried to make a Guns N Roses joke.  I don't get it.

-  I must be getting old.  It's 9:26 and I'm very tired and I got nothin'.  I don't know.  Go read another blog.

-  So this New Girl show, by the way, has turned terrible.  I recommended it on here based on the first episode and Zooey Deschanel's boneriffic cuteness, but holy crap has it taken a turn for the worst in the next 2 episodes.  Really been quite awful.  If it wasn't for zooey i would quit.

-  I think it's over folks.  I think I'm done with blogging.  I'm alone and drunk and there is baseball on and I just can't care.  It's been a good run.

-  Do you think when there's a single hit to Gomez and he just has to throw the ball in to second he gets pissed?  That just happened and he did the biggest crow hop wind up ever to throw the ball 10 feet.  I feel like he's a lot like the kid in little league who is chasing butterflies and eating flowers.  He's not really paying attention, he just wants to throw the ball hard somewhere.  $20 says the middle infielders have to tell him to just throw it in lightly.

-  Maybe this party pizza will lighten my mood/wake me up.

-  It's 7-3, there's a ton on offense, and yet I'm bored out of my mind here.  Maybe it's not my fault, maybe it's this game.  Probably because Wisconsin is involved.  They ruin everything.

-  So I'm a huge nerd, no shocker there, and I've actually kept track on a spreadsheet the books I've read dating back to 2006.  I read 52 in 2006, 62 in 2007, 43 in 2008 (Wonderbaby ^TM was born), 47 in 2009, 37 in 2010 (Baby Ben^TM was born) and a pathetic 28 so far this year.  Having two kids and a job with no travel will really kill that number.  I need to spend more time in the bathroom.

-  Gomez with a hit and a steal.  So good.  If the Twins had Hardy instead of him I'm fine, if they have two shitty ass relievers instead of him that's the biggest shit show in history, other than Brewster's Gophers.

-  Do you realize that the best pitcher in Brewer history was Ted Higuera?  And other than striking out 6 straight dudes in an all-star game a good season or two he really wasn't that good.  I find that surprising for some reason.  Twins have what, Kaat, Blyleven, Viola, Erickson, Santana who are all as good or better?  Yeah, suck it Sconnie!  We own you guys as long as you don't count anything recent.

-  That pizza was pretty good.  I feel healthy.

-  Fielder double.  2-1 over Upton.  what up?

-  Gomez slides into first on a bunt attempt.  Some things never change.  $20 says Gardy has a boner right now.

-  God I'm tired and lame.  Go read one of my drunk blogs from 2 years ago, realize that I suck now, and go read something else. so tired.