Wednesday Wonderings

A few quick, random thoughts while watching Francisco Liriano throw batting practice.

-  Apparently Peyton Hillis is the cover boy for the next Madden and even weirder, he ended up the cover boy by winning a tournament against a bunch of other players which fans voted on.  What?  How can Peyton freaking Hillis win a popularity contest?  The only people who would vote for Peyton Hillis are Browns fans, racists, people who won their fantasy league because of him, and racists who won their fantasy league because of them.  I can see him beating Mike Vick (the guy he beat in the finals) because some people love dogs a little too much (and some people hate black people), but winning a whole tournament?  I'm baffled.  The only tournament Hillis should win is a tournament of people I know the least about.

-  I know nobody pays attention the National League, but if you have you may have noticed that the Padres are possibly the worst offensive team in history - dead last in runs scored in the majors (just one less than the Twins - oy!) and last in runs per game.  Bad enough that Orlando Hudson is their number three hitter, and bad enough to have scored just 8 total runs in their last seven games.  It's a fantastic example of why wins are an awful way to measure a pitcher because Dustin Moseley has started five games and compiled an ERA of 1.99 (2nd in the NL) and a WHIP of 1.11 (14th) and yet he's 0-3.  That's because in his five starts the Padres have won 5-3 (and didn't win until the 13th inning), 2-1, 1-0, 4-0, and 2-0.  That's one run they've scored in the his last four starts.  I know idiots like Bert Blyleven will talk about pitching to the game situation, but there's a reason he's won the big stupid idiot of the year award seventeen times.  I assume.

-  Eric Hacker with back-to-back bases loaded walks.  That's not easy to do.  Good thing they signed him to a major league deal, especially since he hadn't pitched in the majors since 2009 and probably would have taken a minor league offer.  It's like if you're trying to lure a fatty into your van, you don't need to offer a t-bone steak because the fatty will climb on in for an Arby's junior roast beef.  It's just common sense.

-  Hold on to your panties, ladies, and hold on to your hearts, boys, because the third coming of Jesus is coming back on Tuesday.   Yep, Big Sexy, Evan Longoria has started re-habbing and is scheduled to join the team on Tuesday.  Although I'm sure his rehab isn't like normal people rehab.  Probably a lot more banging chicks.

-  Have you ever read Journey to the Center of the Earth by Jules Verne?  Let me save you some time:  don't.  I figured it would be at least entertaining because hey, it's got dinosaurs so what the hell.  But I'm 90% of the way through, other than a short Ichthyosaur vs. Plesiosaur (how sweet would that movie be) fight, and some Mastodons in the distance the dinosaurs have been non-existant.  So far it's basically been a cartoon character, a mute, and a whiny narrator wandering around in a cave.  Hell, there is more time spent on geology than dinosaurology.  Big disappointment so far.  Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World is infinitely better.

- Finally, the NFL draft is tomorrow, and although I usually make fun of people who take football too seriously and though the whole move to primetime last year was ridiculous, I ended up watching and actually enjoyed it.  I won't be watching this year, however, because I will be making my slow-pitch softball pitching debut (weather permitting).  Which probably means I will either walk 20 guys or end up with a broken face.  Maybe both.