God Does Love Gophers Hockey!

Last nights Gopher game was one of the most exciting games I have watched in several years while also being one of the most frustrating. I have never seen a team that is so inept at scoring goals in all my life. Hopefully after this season it will be another 30 years before I have to see it again.

A special thanks to Dawger for leaving me at the bar last night by myself. It was really much more enjoyable watching the 2nd overtime with the Hispanic cooks and the table full of metro sexual Sioux fans who thought they where king shit because they just knocked off Michigan Tech in 3 games. Note to all metro sexual Sioux fans, hockey jerseys aren’t meant to be tucked into your jeans and the word "Dude" died with pinned jeans.

Alex Kangas is now the greatest goalie in the history of college hockey. If he doesn’t win the Hoby Baker the next three years they should just do away with the award. If Lucia wouldn’t have screwed him out of playing time the first half of the season Kangas most likely would have gone for the grand slam and won the Hoby all four years of his career. Kangas was so good last night that Dawger had a wet spot on his jeans after the third period.

The Gophers also now skate with Lucifer on their side. Lucia obviously sold his soul to make the NCAA tournament this year. How else can you explain all three Gophers (Barriball, White and Lucia) scoring their sixth goal of the season last night? 6-6-6! Looks like it will be foam parties for the all Gophers other than Kangas! Can the Gophers be beat with both Jesus and Lucifer on their side? I don’t know either.

One of the greatest lines ever mumbled on T.V. took place during the Gophers game last night. Incase you missed it, during the first overtime Doug Woog said "everyone in the arena is standing except for the people in wheel chairs." As soon as he said that I pictured Woog wearing Bogarts I Hate Cripples t-shirt. P.S. Real classy shirt Bogart! Get a heart you unsympathetic son of a bitch!

Final Five Preview to come later this week.

Bring on the Terps

The NIT field was announced tonight, and the Gophers will host the Maryland Terrapins on Tuesday. You can find the entire bracket here. As always, it's hard to figure out which teams will treat this as a chance to play well and prove to the world how good they are, and which teams will be pissed and unhappy to be there and mail it in.

The Gophers are seeded fourth in their bracket, which includes Syracuse as the #1. Assuming the Orange get passed Robert Morris, they would take on the winner of the Minnesota/Maryland game, I'm assuming at Syracuse. The other #1 seeds are Ohio State, Virginia Tech, and Arizona State.

Maryland will present a difficult challenge for the Gophers, and despite being seeded below Minnesota they are the superior team. Maryland was on the NCAA bubble for most of the season, a place the Gophers pretty much never even sniffed, until a late season three game losing streak - including a monumental collapse against Clemson - sealed their NIT fate. The Terrapins rank in the top 100 in both offensive and defensive efficiency, and have some players I don't know if the Gophers can handle.

Greivis Vasquez starts things for Maryland. He's from somewhere foreign, and is a very effective point guard when he's on, such as his 13 point, 9 rebound, 15 assist performance against NC State. The good news for Gopher fans is that when he's off, he can be way off. He struggles shooting the ball at times, shooting just 44% on the season and 31% from three. He also can turn the ball over if he's not careful, as he averaged a whopping 4.5 turnovers per game, canceling out his 6.9 assist per game and created a pedestrian 1.5 A/TO ratio. Given the Gophers' propensity for turning the other team over, this could play into their hands. Wake Forest has a very similar ranking in turnovers created, and in the two games against them, Vasquez turned it over an average of 6 times per game.

The guy I'm most worried about is 6-9 forward James Gist, and who the hell is going to guard him. The Gopher guards are good enough to check Vasquez, but outside of Damian Johnson they don't have a player who can matchup on Gist. Gist is a powerful player who can score in the paint, with just enough of an outside shot to be doubly dangerous (31% from three). He is adept at getting to the line (10th in FT attempts in the ACC) and can make them at a 75% clip. He is also an excellent rebounder, pulling in 7.8 per game. If the Gophers want to win this game, Gist is the #1 guy they'll need to control.

The last two guys I'll mention are Maryland's two other double digits scorers, center Bombale Osby (11.2 pts/6.5 rebs) and shooting guard Eric Hayes (10.3 pts/4.4 apg). Osby is going to be a handful for either Tollackson or Williams, and not just because he has the sweetest 'fro since Oscar Gamble. He's a load at 6-8, 250 lbs. and can control the paint on either end. He too is adept at getting to the line (9th in the ACC in attempts) and he and Gist team up to block more than 4 shots per game. Hayes doesn't get the pub Vasquez does, but is a far superior shooter (40% from three).

I'm really don't think the Gophers can win this game, but, of course, you never know who is going to take it seriously. Considering Gist is a senior and the team leader, I'm guessing he'll have the troops fired up and ready to play. I don't think home court advantage will be enough to save the Gophers.

Maryland 70, Minnesota 65.

Here's What's Going to Happen: East Region

FIRST ROUND

#1 North Carolina over #16 Coppin State: After Coppin gets by Mount St. Mary's, they are greeted in Raleigh by the overal number 1 Tar Heels. UNC has had no problem blowing teams out this year, and there's no reason for that to change.

#9 Arkansas over #8 Indiana: Finally for Hoosier fans, this mess of an end of the season comes to an end, as they can't deal with the athleticism the Razorbacks bring, and DJ White's glorious career comes to an end. Of interest to Gopher fans may be Arkansas leading scorer Sonny Weems, a possible preview of what we can hope Devron Bostick is.

#4 Washington State over #13 Winthrop: I really wanted to pick Winthrop here, mostly because I think Washington State is extremely overrated. The problem is, this Winthrop team isn't last year's Winthrop team. That team was a true contender, with wins over Mississippi State and a good Old Dominion team, and near misses against North Carolina, Maryland, and Wisconsin. This year's Winthrop team has nothing on it's resume. Washington State in a squeaker.

#5 Notre Dame over #12 George Mason: GMU is a very, very dangerous 12 seed, and against a different #5 would be strongly considered for the upset. However, not against Notre Dame (more like Notre Lame). Not when they got knocked off in the first round last year by Winthrop. And Mason's top player is power forward Will Thomas. Unfortunately for the Patriots, he'll be matched up against Luke Harangody, one of the top PFs in the country. Advantage: Irish.

#2 Tennessee over #15 American: American was the number one team in the Patriot, so they may give the Vols some trouble. Probably not.

#7 Butler over #10 South Alabama: This was a tough call. South Alabama is an excellent team, and against any other 7 seed I'd pick them, particularly since this game is going to take place in Birmingham. But I think Butler is a really solid team this year, as in they should have been a 4 or a 5 seed, not a 7. South Alabama catches a bad break getting Butler here.

#3 Louisville over #14 Boise State: Boise has the second highest field goal percentage as a team in the country, and they play a fast tempo kind of game. Louisville was one of the hottest teams in the country, having won 9 straight before losing at Georgetown and to Pitt in the Big East tournament. Going into the tourny with two straight losses isn't ideal, and Boise could be interesting, but the Cardinals should handle it.

#11 St Joe's over #6 Oklahoma: The Hawks are playing excellent basketball, having defeated Xavier twice in the past ten days. And Oklahoma sucks. St Joe's has the size to deal with Oklahoma's big guys, and they're just a better team.

ROUND TWO

#1 North Carolina over #9 Arkansas: I fully expect the Razorbacks to give the Tar Heels a game. Arkansas has the athleticism to keep up with the Heels, but don't have the ability or the depth to keep it up for a full game.

#5 Notre Dame over #4 Washington State: As I said before, the Cougars are completely overrated, and the Irish are very good. They have the depth, patience, and offensive game to handle WSU's game.

#3 Louisville over #11 St. Joe's: Watching Pat Calathes go up against David Padgett will be a treat. Two quality big men playing very well right now. I expect this to be a pretty tight game, with Louisville winning out in the end.

#2 Tennessee over #7 Butler: I'll be honest, I stared at this one for a long time, and I may end up changing it at some point, but for now, I think the Vols take it down. An interesting clash of styles, as Tennessee ranks 19th in tempo, and Butler ranks 327th. If Butler can make it a slowdown game, Tennessee could struggle.

REGIONAL SEMIFINALS

#1 North Carolina over #5 Notre Dame: I still think Notre Dame is a very good team, but they just don't have the athleticism to hang with the Tar Heels. I expect Harangody to swarmed by Hansbrough, Deon Thompson, and Danny Green and really struggle, while the Tar Heel offense has a good day.

#3 Louisville over #2 Tennessee: This will be a very fun game. Both teams are very athletic and can score and play defense. The depth and size of the Cardinals will be the difference.

REGIONAL FINAL
#3 Louisville over #1 North Carolina: Roy Williams historically chokes every year with top talent, other than that one year when he actually won, and Pitino historically can get more out of his teams. Louisville is a #1 seed caliber team, but struggled early in the season with injuries and ended up at #3. They're heading to their second final four under Pitino here.


Stay tuned for the other regions.

A Last Look Ahead

Since I love this tournament stuff like a fat kid loves cake, let's break down the tournament one last time before it is busted out officially. For ease, I will be assuming the higher seeded teams win the games going on tomorrow. Obviously, if Illinois wins the Big Ten or Georgia the SEC, things change dramatically.

Autobids (31): North Carolina, Coppin State, Drake, UMBC, Temple, UNLV, Belmont, Mt St Mary's, Kansas, Austin Peay, Pitt, UCLA, Portland State, American, Winthrop, Arkansas, Wisconsin, Davidson, UCF/UCI, Northwestern State, George Mason, Oral Roberts, Memphis, Western Kentucky, Butler, Miss Valley State, Cornell, San Diego, Siena, NMSU/Boise, Kent State

Locks (26) : Duke, Miami, Clemson, UCONN, Georgetown, Notre Dame, Louisville, Marquette, West Virginia, Indiana, Michigan State, Purdue, Texas, Oklahoma, Texas A&M, Stanford, USC, Washington State, Vanderbilt, Tennessee, Mississippi State, Kentucky, Xavier, Gonzaga, BYU, St. Mary's

That leaves eight bids for the following 16 teams: Virginia Tech, Villanova, Ohio State, Kansas State, Baylor, Arizona, Oregon, Arizona State, Mississippi, St Joe's, UMass, Dayton, South Alabama, Illinois State, Virginia Commonwealth, and New Mexico.

I think Ohio State, Kansas State, Arizona, St Joe's, and South Alabama are very safe. That leaves three bids. I think they will go to Baylor, Oregon, and Virginia Tech.

With that being said, here is my first ever attempt at projecting a bracket:

EAST:
#1 North Carolina vs. #16 Northwestern St OR Coppin State
#8 UNLV vs. #9 Davidson
#4 Notre Dame vs. #13 George Mason
#5 Drake vs. #12 Arizona

#2 Tennessee vs. #15 Belmont
#7 Gonzaga vs. #10 Miami
#3 Stanford vs. #14 Oral Roberts
#6 Marquette vs. #11 Temple

WEST:
#1 UCLA vs. #16 Mississippi Valley State
#8 Kansas State vs. #9 BYU
#4 Purdue vs. #13 Siena
#5 UCONN vs. #12 Baylor

#2 Georgetown vs. #15 Portland State
#7 Vanderbilt vs. #10 St Mary's
#3 Xavier vs. #14 Cornell
#6 USC vs. #11 Western Kentucky

MIDWEST:
#1 Kansas vs. #16 American
#8 West Virginia vs. #9 Arkansas
#4 Butler vs. #13 Cal State-Fullerton
#5 Michigan State vs. #12 Virginia Tech

#2 Wisconsin vs. #15 San Diego
#7 Mississippi State vs. #10 Kent State
#3 Louisville vs. #14 Austin Peay
#6 Oklahoma vs. #11 Ohio State

SOUTH:
#1 Memphis vs. #16 Mount St Mary's
#8 Texas A&M vs. #9 Kentucky
#4 Pitt vs. #13 Boise State
#5 Clemson vs. #12 Oregon

#2 Texas vs. #15 UM-Baltimore County
#7 Washington State vs. #10 St Joseph's
#3 Duke vs. #14 Winthrop
#6 Indiana vs. #11 South Alabama


So there you go

March to a Title, Game III

I’m here with Mrs. W, Snacks, and my parents as we get ready to watch the Gophers take the next step to winning the Big Ten tournament. I don’t currently have internet access for a bit, so I’m typing this on Word. I’m so old school. Let the March to a Title^TM continue. Eat it Illini.

19:46 – This is going to be difficult, with all the womanly chitter chatter coming from Mrs. W and my mother.

17:56 - Snacks, “That Pruitt guy sucks. He’s just big and fat, but we can’t handle him.”

17:13 – There’s really no reason the Gophers shouldn’t beat Illinois. They’re a terrible team. McCamey sucks, Pruitt sucks, Randle sucks, Frazier sucks.

16:08 – Jesus, talk about coming out flat. It’s like they just assume that they’re a team of destiny. They are, but they still have to, you know, try.

15:02 – Hoff with a steal. What a stud. Well, they basically dropped it right into his lap, but he’s still a stud.

14:24 – Hey, Spencer’s back. I don’t think this is good news. We hit the first timeout, Illini up 7-4.

13:26 – Spencer playing tough. He’s terrible, but he’s trying hard. Kind of like the fat kid in gym class.

13:25 – Gophers 1 for 6 on free throws thus far. This bodes well.

12:26 – Awful. They don’t want to win.

12:24 – Busch gets lost guarding Brock so badly we have to rewind the Tivo so we can laugh at him.

10:59 – I can barely even watch this shit, must less type about it. 13-5 Illini. The Big Ten should be disbanded.

9:36 – Oh, and my mom called Hoffarber “Hoffacre” earlier.

8:46 – They have no answer for the Illini’s height.

8:11 – Snacks calling for the “McKenzie shoots a three every time down the court” offense. He claims it’s the Gophers’ most effective offense. I have to say I agree.

7:52 – This blog is boring because I’m sober.

6:38 – Michigan State and Ohio State go to the Big East. Indiana, Wisconsin, Purdue to the Big Twelve. Michigan, Minnesota, and Illinois to the MAC. Penn State to the MAAC. Iowa to the Missouri Valley. Northwestern’s entire basketball program is completely disbanded and barred from competition. Everybody wins.

4:22 – I start paying attention again in time to see Travis Busch jump a whole 6 inches for a rebound. Yes, we rewound Tivo to watch it again. 23-17 Illini.

2:46 – This game is making me angry. Angry and tired. And bored.

1:25 – Seeing as Shamala has one skill, and one skill only, why would he pass up an open three to pass it back to the point? Once again, the team continues to prove it’s dumb as all hell.

0:00 – 29-23 Illini lead and the half. I’m a little upset that Hoff made that shot last night now, seeing as how we have to watch this disgustingness.

0:00 - Oh yeah, I have the internet again. Huzzah for modern technology!

19:42 - Shawn (Shaun? Shan? Shawon? Sean?) Pruitt reminds me of LenDale White. A big fatass, but surprisingly effective.

16:28 - Getting killed on the o-boards. Why do I even watch this team? I might as well take a run at a brick wall head first.

14:36 - Five second call against Westbrook. F'ing fantastic. Worst. Team. Ever.

13:42 - They interview Tony Dungy, but I have no idea what he's saying because somebody here won't stop talking ever.

11:58 - Jon Williams hits from sixteen to tie the game? We have 32-32, momentum on the Gophers side, McKenzie starting to heat up, Meachem being shut down, things are turning in the right direction.

10:09 - Four fouls on Westbrook. This is very bad news. He's pretty much one of two players on the team who can reliably score.

9:20 - Nevermind all that rah rah crap. The Illini decided to start playing defense, which has the Gophers baffled, and have run out to a seven point lead 39-32, and it isn't even that close right now.

6:55 - Illinois is 11-13 from the line thus far. What kind of crap is that? This team is one of the worst FT shooting teams in the country, but they decide to go 11-13 this game? Maybe this means that when they have the lead in the last minute they'll miss all their free throws and we'll get another miracle victory.

6:51 - Hoff with an old fashioned three point play to cut it to 3. I didn't know he shot two pointers.

6:36 - Yeah, Illinois is ranked 332nd in the country in free throw percentage at 60.6%. Randle hits only 1 of 2, so maybe they'll start missing.

6:10 - McKenzie finds Williams for an easy dunk. Except that he knocks the pass out of bounds, despite having no Illinois player within 10 feet of him. Nice job, ass.

4:23 - from 4:50 until 4:23 the Gophers' entire offense consisted of Al Nolen dribbling. Right, left, then a drive. 27 straight seconds of Nolen dribbling. I'm going to go ahead and call this one over. The dream is dead.

3:54 - Coleman fouls out. This might be a good thing, seeing as how he's done virtually nothing all game.

3:50 - Shaun Pruitt, 6-7 on free throws today. For the season he's at 56%. Ridiculous. Illinois now up 8. I'm depressed.

2:30 - Gophers down 10. I'm done with this.

March to a Title, Game 2

I'm coming in late to the game, because the wife and I had to watch the last hour or so of Boogie Nights. Now she's off to bed, and it's time to drink beer and watch the march to a title continue. Now, I'm a bit nervous here, because I told Snacks I was going to be watching the game on Tivo, yet he texted me that the first ten minutes of the game are great and the Gophers look really good in the beginning. Knowing that I was going to be watching on tivo, and knowing how his brain works, I'm expecting the Gophers to be down 20-2 at the 12 minute time out. Let's see.

Oh, and by the way, Illinois beating Purdue just opens the door a little wider for the Gophers' miracle run. Remember, you heard it here first.

19:51 - Did I just see Jon Williams starting? I guess Spencer must be really hurt. This is not a good sign. Not the Spencer hurt part, that's not really a big deal, but Williams starting scares the beejesus out of me.

19:09 - DJ just hit a three?

18:37 - Did you know Johnson averages exactly one three point attempt per game? Seems high. As in, he should probably never shoot that shot.

18:21 - Minnesota 1-0 all-time versus Indiana in the Big Ten tournament. I'm sensing a trend.

18:06 - DJ makes two free throws, which is a statistical improbability, and he has all five Gopher points. Never thought I'd type that.

17:22 - And Dan Coleman is playing tough down low. This is not the Gopher team I recognize. March to the Title: activated.

17:18 - Spencer Tollackson's career rebounding average: 3.7 per game. 3.7. Three point seven.

16:18 - DJ with a Rico Tucker like jam. Dominating. DJ White who?

16:00 - And that's the second foul on Eric Gordon. Eat it, Sidler.

14:54 - Stemler, the asshole who hit the big three to sink the Gophers at Williams, just airballed a three. The announcers want us to know he's 0 for his last twelve. Couldn't miss the one in Minneapolis though, could you, ass?

13:42 - McKenzie hits a three to make it 14-5 and I actually jump pumped my fist like Theory playing Golden Tee. I'm a little embarrassed, but also pretty excited here.

13:29 - Although I don't know why I'm excited, this is what the Gophers do. Second half will be full of nothing but dumb plays and bad defense as they piss away a lead.

12:22 - 19-5, as Shamala hits an 18 footer. Why he didn't just end his cut a little further and behind the 3-pt line, I don't know. God help me, I'm starting to believe.

11:24 - Eric Gordon throws one of the worst passes ever. Whoever drafts him is going to be in for a looooooooong year. Please don't let it be the Wolves.

11:24 - So they throw up a graphic showing the Big Ten Assist leaders. Three Spartans, a Buckeye, and a Wildcat. But we're watching Gophers/Hoosiers. What was the point? I swear they just hit random buttons up there sometimes.

10:27 - Eric Gordon never closes his mouth. It's creepy.

9:51 - I'm starting to develop a crush on Hoffbauer. I'm kind of afraid it's ASSWIP Syndrome.

8:39 - I hate to agree with announcers, because most of them are dumber than you are, but DJ White should be touching the ball every time down. As he proves with a bucket and the foul. And misses the free throw.

6:17 - 7-0 run by Indiana to make it 24-15. Gophers starting to get killed on the O-boards. This a major concern and I don't like it. Gordon gets an o-board and a putback as I type this.

4:52 - Jesus Christ. Apparently somebody pointed out to the Gophers that they were leading. As they've completely changed their style of play. Tentative on offense, lazy with the ball, poor defense and no rebounding, and it's now 26-20. Still Gopher lead, but things have changed dramatically. How bad is it? Tubby put in Travis "Hair Pie" Busch.

1:11 - Jordan Crawford can't take Busch off the dribble, how sad.

0:00 - Good news: Gophers lead 34-27, and Coleman sat out most of the first half. Bad news: They were up 16, and the last Hoosier possession of the half showed, beyond a doubt, that Minnesota doesn't have anybody who can even come close to checking DJ White.

19:27 - Holy crap Deandre Thomas is a fatass.

19:00 - Exhibit 10 billion why this is a dumb team and Dan Coleman is the worst offender. Coleman takes a three and misses, Indiana rebound. Coleman rushes in at the guy who got the board, leaving DJ White open streaking towards the other end.

17:59 - Danny boy Coleman picks up his fourth foul. Fourth. In two minutes this team has made eight just inexcusably dumb plays. It's over. Gophers still lead 34-32, but it's over.

17:35 - I'm going to throw something.

16:01 - This half, Gophers have 0 points, 5 turnovers. And it's now tied at 34.

15:28 - 30 second timeout and Tubby is hot. I don't know at who, specifically, but I assume it's the whole team. Who then turns it over after the TO. This is sad people, sad like cancer.

12:48 - Westbrook with an excellent basket. He seems to be a second half player, maybe time to take over? He's Philadelphia Eagle Brian Westbrook's cousin, you know.

11:48 - I just got texts from Snacks and Sidler within 20 seconds of each other. I'm going to assume something awesome happens at some point.

11:08 - Sweet, Busch is in again. Only good things can come of this.

10:28 - And Bogart just sent me a text. I am officially very curious.

9:43 - I can't take it. Fast forwarding a bit.

3:52 - Started watching again here, Gophers up 50-48 holy carp westbrook for three 53-48 Gophers.

2:44 - Another Theoryesque fist pump from me, as DJ puts one back to make it 55-50 Minnesota. I believe (tm).

1:55 - Minnesota up five. Another text comes in, but I'm not even going to pick it up. If this comes down to free throws, I'm very nervous.

0:55 - Nolen airballs the biggest three of his life. Nice shot, rook.

0:43 - DJ fouls out. That is not excellent.

0:10.6 - Dan Coleman is a weak homo, and gives the ball away. Indiana ball, 57-55 Minnesota. Oh, and another text comes in. Still ignoring.

0:03.4 - Gordon fouled and will go to the line. Based on all the text messages, I'm going to assume he makes both and we go to overtime.

0:03.4 - Holy shit he missed the first one. The Gophers are going to win this game unless they're idiots, which they are, so I'm still very, very nervous.

0:03.1 - You have to be fucking kidding me. No. fucking. way. No fucking way.

0:01.5 - What? What? Oh my god. I can't believe this shit. I have no words. I feel sick.

oh my god holy shit.

un fucking real. hell yes. I told all you people the Gophers were going to take it all. Now they just run the f over the illini and we're on our way baby, we're on our way.

Oh, and Erin Andrews interviews Blake, and asks, "What was going through your mind before you hit that shot" and Blake says to her, he says, "I just knew I had to get it off." Yeah, baby.

Hey Illini. Make your time.

Oh, and here's a message to all Indiana fans, but only from 16-18 seconds. ignore everything else.



Although, if you want to watch the rest it's very similar to how the Gophers are going to treat Illinois tomorrow. March to the Title^TM Minnesota 66, Illinois 56.

I just watched it again on on espn and it moved. and then they showed the same god damn shot from his ass again.

The Door Opens

Wow, what a horrible day to be a team on the bubble. The following teams needed a win today to help their NCAA chances:

Florida State
Villanova
Mississippi
New Mexico
Maryland
Oregon
Arizona State
Arizona
Dayton
UAB
Houston
Miami (FL)
Baylor
Temple
St Joe's
Kent State
Florida
UMass
Texas A&M

The teams in bold are the teams who won, which means that teams that needed to win today went 4-14. You know what that means? The bubble is wide open, baby. The door is open and the Gophers just need to step on through and take out Indiana. Even Vegas sees this as a shaky game, installing the Hoosiers as just 5 point favorites, even after a pathetic performance by the Gophers against Northwestern and with the game in Indiana.

The Gophers current RPI is 98, and to get to the finals of the B10 tournament would take wins over Indiana (RPI 17) and probably Purdue (RPI 37). That would give them a 3-9 record agains the top 50, and would get the RPI up, but not high enough for an at-large probably, so we're amending the goal from make the finals to win the whole damn thing. That's right, Maroon and Gold all the way baby.

And the Hoosiers are vulnerable right now. They've lost two of their last three, including a blowout loss against Michigan State and an embarrassing loss against Penn State. Of course, their one win in that time was against Minnesota, but that doesn't count. Plus, I'm starting to think Eric Gordon is kind of a little whiny girl.

It's time to assert their dominance. It's time to take it to the next level. It's time to rise above. Gophers. NCAA tournament. 1 game down, three to go.

It Can Happen.

Minnesota 71, Indiana 66.

2008 Twins starting rotation preview

The Sidler is back with more boring, yet informative analysis for everyone's favorite sub-.500 baseball team! An AL Central preview is coming soon--I'll be going from worst to first, mainly to make sure I get to the Twins before the season starts.

My expectations are low for this year's rotation. It probably won't suck as much as the offense, but at best this is a middle-of-the-pack pitching staff. You have a bunch of young guys and a really shitty veteran, not exactly a recipe for success. The young guys have talent and have put up solid to great numbers in the minor leagues, but that might not be enough to give the team more than one or two starters with sub-league average ERAs (4.39 in 2007).

First, a quick table

You are probably thinking two things. 1) The Sidler's boring and 2) what the F does Aaron Harang's 2004 season have to do with the 2008 Minnesota Twins? That's easy; young pitchers, even ones that go on to be #1/2 starters, can put up some ugly numbers their first few years in the league.

Keep those not-so-good seasons from good to very good pitchers in mind when you look at this next table, the projected stats for YOUR 2008 Minnesota Twins
Scott Baker: I think he can top this projection and will be the de-facto ace. He's always going to have problems with HRs and he probably won't have too many sub-4.00 ERA seasons during his career, but as we saw with Carlos Silva, pumping out league-average seasons is very valuable to teams.

Boof Bonser: We know he's lost weight, but has he also lost the ability to slow down lefties? Despite the inane ramblings of Dick and Bert, it wasn't conditioning that hurt Boof last year, it was left-handed hitters. They combined to put up Albert Pujols numbers against Bonser. Circle that, Bert. That severe RH/LH split was the first of his career, was it an aberration or the beginning of a bad trend? If it was an aberration, Boof will be a solid pitcher this year.

Livan Hernandez: He's probably the opening day starter and will probably be the worst pitcher on the team. Every stat is heading the wrong direction for Livan--HR rate up, walk rate up, strikeouts down...and he's going from the NL to the AL. Awesome. I'll be surprised if his ERA is under 6.

Kevin Slowey: Some good news--very few pitchers have put up minor league numbers like his and then completely failed as a major leaguer. He's a control pitcher that needs to find a way to miss bats more often; it seemed like he led the team in fouls with two strikes last year. His last four starts were big improvement over earlier starts, which gives hope for this year. Expect to hear Bert talk about keeping the ball down endlessly during Slowey's starts this season since he is going to give up plenty of HRs again. I really like that Mike Mussina is one of his top comparables.

Francisco Liriano: Here's the big question mark. Fox Sports has been showing old Twins games lately and I caught part of one featuring Liriano, it is easy to forget just how electric this kid was in 2006. WAY too much analysis is being done on his first two Spring Training starts. My hope for 2008 is that he improves as the year goes on, doesn't have any injuries, and he doesn't top 150 innings.

Two Mets dudes: Whatever. They'll be better than Livan if they get a chance. Mulvey's a real groundball pitcher--unlike Silva, who actually wasn't much of a groundball pitcher--and as you can see, that's a rarity on this team.


There you have it, the 2008 Twins rotation. Maybe they should run with the slogan "At least we aren't as shitty as the offense."

It begins

The March to March Madness begins for the Gophers today, as they plan to destroy all who oppose them on the way to winning the Big Ten tournament, and a 15 seed in the Big Dance. It begins today, with the hated Wildcats of Northwestern (more like North-worstern).

The Gophers haven't had any problems dispatching the Cats this year, knocking them off by 19 and 20 in their two meetings, and I see no reason that should change. The Cats are playing for nothing, as even a run to the title game would still leave them out of the NIT, whereas the Gophers have a shot (albeit about as slim as possible) of grabbing at at-large if they can make the title game. Or not. I don't know, but it makes things more interesting to believe that.

In all seriousness, if I had to construct a bracket, realistically, that would give the Gophers the best chance to make the finals, this is exactly it. They won't have to face Wisconsin, Michigan State, or Ohio State until the finals, and those are three teams I don't want them to face.

Northwestern today is obviously a gimme, and if they can't handle this one, they might as well just decline any post-season invites at all and go cry. In round 2, they get the Hoosiers of Indiana, who the Gophers played tough twice back before they lost their coach and went into a mini-tailspin, losing two of their last three.

It's not just possible, folks, it's probable. Just as Syracuse and UAB knocked themselves out of the tournament by their showing in their conference tourny, the Gophers will rise to the occasion and make the run we've all been waiting for. You just gotta believe.

Gophers 91, Wildcats 57.

(I'll be back to say more words during the game)

PREGAME- I'm watching the Penn State/Illinois game (only because I have money on it, PSU +8), and Musberger just said "There's some gossip about Koufos from Ohio State going overseas to play professionally in Greece." What? Why the hell would he do that when he's projected to be a first round NBA pick? Because he's Greek? How stupid would that be? That's like some dude working his ass off to become a great actor, getting offered millions to do feature films and get all the hot chicks, and saying, "No thanks. I'm going to do plays at the local park in Bumfrick small town USA where I'm from for tips."

PREGAME- About to get started, and with a solid gambling day going on so far (8-4-2), hopefully the Gophers can grab us another win, as we have them -9.5.

?? - McKenzie gets it started with a layup. A swooping, circus layup, but still a layup. I expect that to continue all day. Additionally, ESPN is giving us a score or a time graphic.

18:06 - Gophers quickly down 7-2, and they look like complete dog crap. Looks like they've given up on the season already.

17:20 - Oh, and in case you're curious, "instant offense" Kevin Payton got the start again. Boggles the mind.

16:58 - Spencer is hurt and going to the locker room!!! Ohs NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!

16:39 - When Kevin Coble runs he looks special. Not "awesome" special, "retarded" special.

14:14 - We head to the first tv timeout with the Wildcasts up 12-5. Could be early jitters, but the Minnesota shots aren't falling, and the defense is giving Northwestern wide open looks. I hate to judge a game after less than six minutes, but things don't look good early.

12:52 - Shouldn't a point guard be able to shot fake and then dribble around his man without traveling? Al Nolen can't.

11:59 - Shamala actually shows some aggression, picking up an offensive foul after getting the pass in the paint. That dude should never be in the paint.

11:59 - Vanderbilt covers. We're now to 8-4-2 today.

11:14 - Announcer Steve Lavin seems to have a serious boner for the Princeton offense. It's all he can freaking talk about. Was he the coach when Princeton beat UCLA in the tournament? I don't remember, but it's pretty much the only thing that could explain his crush on Northwestern and their offensive style. Everyone knows only teams full of homos run the Princeton offense.

10:17 - Jesus, now he's converted Musberger and he's talking about their offense in glowing terms. It's just like the gays man. You spend too much time around a gay, and before you know it BAM! You've got the gay.

9:31 - 21-9 Northwestern. I'm beginning to think my "Gophers to the title" thing may have been misguided.

7:52 - TV timeout, and we have 21-11 Northwestern. And for some reason we break away to watch the end of the Baylor/Colorado game. Yes, it's in double OT, but there's 17 seconds left and Colorado is up 4 and at the line. How is this interesting to anyone other than fans of the two teams or people who bet on the game (note: we have Colorado +9.5). I just don't understand some of these kind of decisions.

6:35 - Now we're back, and it's 24-15. That's 7 points we missed. I will never know who scored those points. I am Jack's seething rage.

4:53 - Colorado wins and covers, 9-4-2 on the day.

3:12 - 32-18, Northwestern leads. They are giving up wide open shots and layups on defense, and on offense they seem confused by Northwestern, who seems to be using a mixture of zone and man-to-man. This team was NOT ready to play today. At all.

1:33 - Houston does not cover, or even win, against UTEP, so we drop to 9-5-2. C-USA looking to be a one bid league this year, as both Houston and UAB, the only two non-Memphis teams with at-large hopes, both flame out in the conference tournament today.

0:44 - Erin Andrews is at the Big Ten tournament? Wouldn't you rather be at the Big East, Big Twelve, or ACC? Those are on ESPN also. Weird, I figured she's get her choice of assignments and/or she'd go to wherever the ratings would be highest. I doubt very many people are tuning in to watch this shitbox of a conference.

0:00 - 34-21 Northwestern at halftime. Also Kyle Lohse signed with the St. Louis Cardinals. Wildcats shooting 65%, 56% from three. Nice defense. On the bright side, Erin Andrews is extremely attractive.

0:00 - Spencer Tollackson will not return in the second half due to an ankle injury. The HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Also, he still looks exactly like The Todd.

19:30 - Al Nolen needs to look to score more when he penetrates. That sounded kind of dirty.

18:16 - Gophers score the first seven of the half to cut it to 34-28. All seven have come from pushing the ball and forcing tempo. Keep it up, keep it up.

13:32 - 42-38 Northwestern. Minnesota has switched into an aggressive 1-2-2 zone on defense with a lot of pressure and a lot of energy, and Northwestern is having trouble dealing with it. On offense they are pushing the tempo at all opportunities, but are still having trouble in the half court against the switching man-to-man the Wildcats are using. If Michael Thompson was on fire - all 8 NW points this half, the Gophers might have the lead. They need to keep attacking on both ends like this.

13:10 - I just discovered potatoes in our fridge that have partially liquefied. I didn't even know that could happen.

12:20 - It's the Wildcats looking like the Gophers this half, as they have no clue what to do against the Gopher zone, and Lawrence Westbrook hits another basket to tie it up 42-42. He's been on fire in the second half.

11:57 - Goldy gets a close up. Lavin calls him "lovable." Lavin is an idiot of the highest degree.

11:14 - Not only can NW not figure out the zone, but when they do get a good shot they brick it, as Coble misses an open jumper from the free throw line, and misses badly.

10:09 - Hey, the show a shot that some high school kid made at the buzzer lying on his ass. What? That was Hoffarber? No Way!! I've never seen that play every single time the Gophers are on TV.

8:45 - Northwestern hits a couple of shots as the Gophers are back in man-to-man, despite the zone's success. Why? I have no clue, but they now lead 47-42 after DJ misses two free throws. I know, I was shocked too.

5:58 - More talking about the awesomeness of the Princeton offense. It's really boring. I don't know if Northwestern's zone is a man, or a zone, I think it's some kind of hybrid, but whatever it is Northwestern is playing a tough matchup zone, and the Gophers have no clue how to beat it. They pretty much can only score in transition right now, and trail 47-42.

4:22 - No Country for Old Men was pretty overrated. Also the Gophers just took the lead 48-47 on a Dan Coleman steal and dunk (?) Anyway, yeah, it wasn't bad, it just wasn't all that awesome. That bad guy in it though is pretty good.

3:53 - At the four minute timeout, Gophers lead 48-47. HEY COLEMAN AND MCKENZIE, IF YOU LOSE THIS GAME, IT WILL BE THE LAST ONE OF YOUR CAREERS. Try to act like leaders for the first time this year.

3:34 - So they go back to man, and of course, Westbrook loses his man on a back pick and he's open for a layup (well, he got fouled and missed it). I'd stay in the zone, seriously. I must be missing something, because I know damn well Tubby is smarter than me. Moore makes both, putting NW ahead by one.

3:12 - Hoff with a huge three pointer. Naturally, it was a freshman making the big shot, not a senior.

2:32 - A wide open three by Moore to give NW back the lead, still against the man. It's not working.

2:12 - Here comes the dumb stuff we've all come to know and love. Westbrook gets his shot blocked on a drive, which is fine, and then follows it up by committing a stupid frustration foul in the backcourt. This team is so god damn dumb.

1:35 - Gophers lead 53-52 after Hoff finds Coleman underneath in transition. Hoff looking very good in this game. Well, except on defense.

1:06 - same score, Gopher ball. Crunch time lineup - McKenzie, Westbrook, Nolen, Hoff, Coleman. I like it.

0:39 - McKenzie misses what would have been a huge three, but Hoff is there to grab the o-board. I'm going to assume that is his first o-board on the season. Westbrook misses the front end of a 1-and-1, McKenzie grabs a huge rebound, but then gets tied up because he ducked down waiting to get fouled instead of getting the ball out of there. Stupid stupid stupid play. Oh, and Northwestern ball.

0:3.9 - Huge steal by Coleman, and he's fouled. Excellent defense that whole last possession by the Gophers, even though they were still in man-to-man.

0:00 - DC makes them both, and Northwestern can't get a decent shot off, Gophers move on.

This is the slap in the face the Gophers needed to wake them up and get ready for their run to the BIG TEN TITLE. Next victim: Indiana. More like, GAY-Diana. Lawrence Westbrook is just getting better and better, and he's just getting started. Make your time, Hoosier queers.

Incidentally, the Sidler is Hoosier fan. You can email him at sidlerblog@gmail.com, if you were so inclined.

Last Ones

The final conferences kick off their tournaments tomorrow, with the Big 12, ACC, Big Ten, SEC, and Southland.

SOUTHLAND:
The last of the little guys to get going, for some reason the Southland gets to wait on it's championship game until Selection Sunday, which will likely be the coronation of #1 seed Stephen F. Austin - that's a college, not a player. USFA finished tied for first in the conference with Lamar, but make no mistake, USFA is a quality team. The Lumberjacks won at Oklahoma and at San Diego this week, and sport an RPI of 59. USFA is yet another team that plays the slow-down (337th in tempo), tight defense (10th in eFG% against) style. They beat Lamar in their only meeting, but don't count out the Cardinals. They play the opposite style of USFA, with a tempo ranking of 35th in the country.
FAVORITE: Stephen F. Austin
SLEEPER: Texas State. They led the Southland in both team scoring and rebounding.
W's PICK: Lamar. Stephen F. might not have the offense to get it done.


Big 12:
FAVORITE: Texas. They're actually ahead of Kansas in RPI, and have the #1 seed.
LOCKS: Texas, Kansas, Oklahoma. If either Texas or Kansas wins this tournament, they may get a #1 seed in the tournament
SLEEPER: Oklahoma State. The Cowboys are really up and down, but have looked better of late. They've won six of their last nine, with wins over Baylor, A&M, and Kansas in that stretch.
BUBBLE TEAMS: Kansas State, Baylor, Texas A&M. Baylor and K-State might already be in, but A&M definitely needs at least one win, maybe more.
PLAYER TO WATCH: Bill Walker, K-State. Michael Beasley gets more press, and rightfully so, but Walker is the real key to the Wildcats, giving them a second scorer. Plus, he's awesome.
W's PICK: Kansas. Too talented and too deep, the Jayhawks look to grab a 1 seed.

ATLANTIC COAST:
FAVORITE: North Carolina. #1 in the country
LOCKS: North Carolina, Duke, Clemson
SLEEPER: Florida State. A senior led, guard oriented team. Those are the types that can be dangerous in tournament basketball.
BUBBLE TEAMS: Miami, Maryland, Virginia Tech. Miami is probably in already, Maryland and Va Tech will need to make a run to have a prayer.
PLAYER TO WATCH: Ty Lawson, UNC. Lawson is just coming back from an injury, and has played three games but has yet to play more than 23 minutes in a game, after averaging closer to thirty pre-injury.
W's PICK: North Carolina

Southeastern:
FAVORITE: Tennessee, also in line for a #1 overall in the big dance
LOCKS: Tennessee, Mississippi State, Vanderbilt. Did I mention that we have the Vols at 30-1 to win the NCAA championship?
SLEEPER: Kentucky. Even without Patrick Patterson, the Wildcats are on fire lately, having won 6 of 7 and 11 of 13 to go from laughingstock to squarely on the bubble.
BUBBLE TEAMS: Arkansas, Mississippi, Kentucky, Florida. Ole Miss at Kentucky might meet up in the quarters in an elimination game. Florida would need to get to the finals to even be a consideration. Arkansas looks to be in good shape.
PLAYER TO WATCH: Jarvis Varnardo, Mississippi State. Varnardo, the probable SEC defensive player of the year, leads one of the top defensive teams in MSU - 3rd in defensive eFG%, and tops in the nation in opponents 2 point FG shooting. Varnardo had a ridiculous year, leading the nation in blocked shots with 4.8 per game, and adding in 7.9 rebounds, 7.8 points, and 64% shooting - highlighted by a triple double against Kentucky with 10 points, 12 rebounds, and 10 blocks.
W's PICK: Mississippi State. Big fan of this team this year.

BIG TEN:
FAVORITE: Wisconsin. I hate Bo Ryan.
LOCKS: Wisconsin, Indiana, Michigan State, Purdue. Will any of these teams make the sweet sixteen?
SLEEPER: Minnesota. Believe me, it's tough to find a sleeper in this conference, as the tiers are pretty well defined. The Gophers have been a pretty tough road team, maybe with a few breaks they can make some noise, but probably not. Actually, definitely not.
BUBBLE TEAMS: Ohio State. In a unique position. Beat Michigan State on Friday and they're in, lose and they're out.
PLAYER TO WATCH: Eric Gordon, Indiana. He was the leading scorer in the Big Ten, but seemed to unravel at times and struggled shooting down the stretch, shooting 36% or worse in 5 of the Hoosiers' last 6 games. IU will only go as far as Gordon can take them.
W's PICK: Michigan State. Of all the Big Ten teams, I think they're the best tournament team. And also the team most likely to be upset in the first round.