"Shocking"ly Retarded

I didn't really believe WWWWW when he claimed he heard Paul Allen comparing Livan to Johan. But I made the mistake of turning on KFAN this morning and to my surprise PA was at it again. How in the hell does a person who compares Livan to Jo-Jo Santana actually have a six figure job that pays them to talk about sports. This wasn't your typical tongue in cheek comparison either, this idiot actually believes Livan is a better pitcher than Jo-Jo at this point in the season.

Another question I have is how in the world does anyone work with this tit? If I was Jeff Dubay or Justin Gaard I would literally walk out of the studio when PA started singing while I was talking. What an obnoxious asshole. Who thinks that is funny and why hasn't their program director been fired for not telling this no talent idiot to knock that shite off. He also comes off as the type of guy who would be upset if someone did that while he was talking.

Question for you. Do you think PA believes he is "hip" because he plays RB music? PA is about as hip as Bogart with a poop/vomit covered arm.

Can someone tell me what in the hell "Yadot" means??? Does PA think he is coining some new hip term in the twin cities. If I heard either one of my two friends say Yadot, I would punch them in the mouth. "Yadot"....honestly.

This was going to be a quick little post, but now I am pissed off thinking about this f'ing tit. Thanks for wrecking my morning you no talent twat!

Not only is PA obnoxious and knows little about sports, but he dresses like Mike Max. Note to PA, sweaters that look like a Leprechaun blew his rainbow colored load all over the front of your chest do not look good. I know you think you are sophisticated because the sticker on that rag was $200, but in reality everyone but Mike Max and Kevin McHale are laughing at you.

I also love how PA acts like he is a man of principal yet he turns around and sells his soul for any half ass product that will pay him $20. I swear to god he would put his name on a underage prostitution service if they paid him a couple bucks at let him make a commercial. Sellout Twat!

Lastly, Just because you announce the Vikings game on the radio doesn't make you an NFL insider. Quit acting like a tit your entire show and then transform into "Joe Professional" when you discuss football. You have no idea what you are talking about and the next time you have your own opinion on a team or player will be the first time. Who does he think he is fooling when he talks about that stuff? All he does is call a couple of his fantasy bo-bo's and regurgitate what they tell him. PA, You don't understand football so knock of the charade. You calling football games makes you know as much about football as me or any one of the 60,000 fans in the Metrodome on Sunday. Also, knock off the canned touch down calls, you sound like an idiot.

Little known fact. Did you know Bogart called into the PA and Dubay show once and actually asked legit questions? God did you wet the bed on that bit bogart!

PA needs to go!

Side Note: TJ Oshie is going to sign with the St. Louis Blues within the next 72 hours. The one good Sioux players is no more. At least I can once again hate the Sioux with all my heart!

P.S. Kubel sti....has always blown!

Gerbe, Gerbe, Gerbe!!!

The 2008 Frozen Four Championship game is all set. The Final will match Boston College against Notre Dame. Boston College will be playing in their 3rd consecutive championship game (they lost the last two) while Notre Dame will be playing in their 1st championship game in school history.

So how did they get here? Boston College got to the championship game be completely, and I do mean completely dominating the University of North Dakota. If this was a high school game they would have started running time about halfway through the 2nd period. The two big difference makers in this game where Nathan Gerbe and Philly Lamerioux. Gerbe completely dominated the game and was so impressive that a gitty Bear called my just before the first intermission and was almost giggling uncontrollably as he described the Sioux ass raping Gerbe was administering. Gerbe finished the game (actually the first two periods) with three goals and 1 assist.

The other star of the game was Lamerioux, North Dakota's buffoon goalie. He was so remarkably bad in this game that USCHO.com wrote an article last night titled "sieve, sieve, sieve." http://www.uscho.com/news/college-hockey/id,15683/SieveSieveSieve.html. I can't think of a better way for one of the biggest pricks in all of college hockey to end his career. Thanks for the lasting memory frenchy! One last Lamerioux note, in his last two frozen four games Lamerioux has allowed 12 goals...ouch. Briggs was better than that!

This game also places the great coach Hakstol right up on top of the list of greatest choke jobs of all time. 4 straight trips to the frozen four and nothing but participation medals for his efforts. Don't forget this was also suppose to be "the greatest" Sioux team in 25 years and the mouth breather still couldn't get it done. Banners hung in Mariucci the last four years =4. Banners hung in the Nazi bunker the last four years =1. Hakstol equals Doug Woog without the class and personality. And the answer is yes, I do take pleasure in others misery!

On a sad note, this will most likely be the last time sexy TJ Oshie laces up his skates in a college hockey game. God I am going to miss watching that sexy son of a bitch glide up and down the ice!

The other semi-final game pitted #1 ranked Michigan against Notre Dame. Notre Dame raced out to a 3 goal lead before Michigan battled back and tied the game 4-4. The game went into overtime before Frosh Calle Ridderwall scored the game winner. To be brutally honest, I could really careless about this game. I woke this morning and felt like a million dollars because of the gift Boston College gave me last night. If your interested the Championship game will be played tomorrow night on ESPN. My National Championship came last night so I don't really care what happens Saturday. I am going to pick Boston College to beat Notre Dame 4-2. I just can't see Gerbe being stopped. Go Eagles...Caw-Caw-Caw!

Gophers Split and I Still Hate UND

Here is a recap of Sioux vs Gopher weekend in Grand Forks. This was suppose to updated daily but the hotel we stayed at used some F’ing internet cable that hasn’t been made since Apple stopped making their IIE Series. Of course they didn’t have any extra cables and Wi-fi was out of the question. This coming from Grand Forks newest and greatest hotel. You now get to enjoy yesterdays news today.

We arrived at the land of wind, tumble weeds and homophobia Friday afternoon. The first two things I noticed when stepping out of my car was 1) the town stinks like an enormous shit factory. I was told it is a sugar beet factory, but I don’t buy it. I think god has played a joke on the city and covered the entire place in invisible shit. 2) The only thing whiter then the snow up there are the people. We did see one token between the 2nd and 3rd periods of Friday nights game, but that was it. Otherwise the first non-white person I saw was Kyle Okposo. How funny is that? The first black person I saw was playing in a hockey game! I kid you not, that place is Hitler’s wonder land. Nothing but blonde hair and blue eyes, it is actually kind of creepy. I guess that’s why Ralph Englestad liked the city so much and decided to build a palace here.

As far as hockey, the Gophers deserved better then a split this weekend. They actually outplayed the Sioux for 5 of the 6 periods. 3 of those periods they actually dominated. The story of the weekend was the Gophers inability to score on Friday when they where out shooting the Sioux 30-8 at one point, yet trailed 1-0. On top of not scoring Friday the fat/drunk goalie decided to play like a complete D-bag in the 3rd period and give up two semi soft goals. On the Sioux’s second goal he decided to duck so the puck didn’t hit him in his mask. Nothing says good goalie like getting out of the way of a puck. At least I can still take the piss out him for the rest of the season. So I have that going for me. The only thing else worth mentioning about Friday night is the city of Grand Forks owns Mad Dog. I have never seen a kid take a bigger beating from a city in my life and I can speak from experience. Next to Jeff Frazee, Mad dog was the biggest disappointment of the night. I take that back, Mad Dog was the biggest disappointment.

Also, UND’s arena sells beer at the games and has two bars, one at each end of the arena. WWWWWW, I thought You would find that fact interesting since beer is the most important thing in your life (hopefully your cigarettes don’t take offence to that comment).

Saturday nights game was completely controlled by the gophers for the first 54 minutes. The Gophers jumped out to a 4-1 lead going into the third period and I think I am going to take most of the credit for that. Obviously Lucia read DWG on Thursday because they used my game plan just as I had drawn it up. The defenders played smart (RJ Anderson was still slow and soft) and the forwards did all of the little things that are needed to win on the road. The Sioux did make it interesting the final 6 minutes by scoring two goals and then pulling their french goalie for the final minute, but the Gophers held on for a 4-3 win. The victory broke my curse of seeing nothing but Sioux victories over the Gophers in Grand Forks. I would have whooped it up after the game but Grand Forks was still owning the Mad Dog and the bars wouldn’t serve Snake Jr even though he is two feet taller then Mad Dog.

Here is my meltdown from the weekend. I left Saturday nights game hating the Sioux hockey team more then ever before. Talk about a bunch of cheap, classless fucks. "Just because your team is the most overrated team in the history of college hockey doesn’t mean you can start taking cheap shots at the worst Gopher team since 1998 just for completely out playing You." "Talk about a classless bunch of Twats led by a classless neanderthal looking coach." Along with the Frenchman, You can now add Kozek to my list of most hated Sioux players of all time. I am also hoping he sustains a season ending injury in the next game or two. I know I will burn in hell for that comment, but it would be worth it to see that cheap twat get carried off the ice. One of the highlights of the weekend came Saturday night when Snake Jr. Got to hear my call Kozek an F’ing Cunt at the end of the second period. Looks like Jr. is all grown up.

Also, no word from Mad Dog since 10:30 Saturday night. I think Grand Forks owned him so much that it actually killed him.

P.S. That was Me who threw my panties on the ice Saturday night when that Sexy S.O.B. Oshie scored the Sioux’s first goal of the game.

Gophers vs Sioux Preview

Well I am leaving for Grand Forks tomorrow morning and will only be working a ½ day tomorrow which I plan to spend reading DWG, Gopher and Sioux Hockey sites and checking email. I figured I would get the preview for this weekends series out today so I could officially do nothing tomorrow morning. WWWWW, you want more hockey, you got it. By the way, you really have nice skin.

The most important thing for the Gophers this weekend will be consistency. I now, I sound like Tony Siragusa with that great bit of insight. The biggest issue plaguing the Gophers this year has been putting together three good periods in a game. By all accounts they did this on Saturday and got a 3-1 victory. Lets see if they can carry that over to this weekend. I am betting no, but will keep my fingers crossed.

The Gophers have to get better play from their defenders this weekend. I am not expecting Paul Martin, Keith Ballard and Jordan Leopold to all of the sudden show up this weekend but they should expect more production than what they have been getting out of the blue line. David Fischer, Cade Fairchild and Stewie Bickel have all been getting better as the season goes on. If David Fischer continues to play at his current rate I could see him leaving for Montreal at the end of the year. In large part the defensive issues have been with the two upper classmen. The Upper classmen have been average at best and usually just bad. Evan Kaufman has not developed at all since his Sophomore year and his effort at times has been Hirsch like. Kaufman was embarrassingly bad last Friday to the point I would have been calling him an F’ing C*nt had The Bear been sitting next to me instead of Snake Jr. I have given up all hope for RJ Anderson. RJ is slow, shoots like my wife and has the offensive creativity of a defender from the Cooper Adaptive floor hockey team. Wehrs is still figuring things out and has been up and down which is expected from a true frosh. I am not going to take the time to break down Schack’s game. Schack is the hockey teams version on Kyle Sanden, he really sucks but is big so they let him play once in a while. Don’t expect to see Schack this weekend unless someone’s leg falls off and even then he might not get the call. If the defenders continue to make soft, cross ice passes out of their zone and don’t get pucks in deep this could be a longer weekend then I am already anticipating. Side note that has nothing to do with hockey- Cade Fairchild’s hair looks exactly like the Dawg’s if the Dawg had a better hairline.

I have no idea what to say about or expect from the forwards. Basically they would have trouble scoring if the other team played half the game with no goaltender. That is not good. This is especially troubling when the Gophers will most likely need to score 4 or 5 goals in a game this weekend if they want to win. I really hoped Lucia would put Barriball, Wheeler and Okposo on the same line, but it looks like he has decided to "stay the path." I am no great hockey mind but this would be a perfect weekend to stack the first line and let them skate against UND’s top line. Lucia could then play clutch and grab hockey with his 2nd and 3rd lines and see what happens. Okposo is starting to look either frustrated or bored. I really can’t blame him with the talent he is getting to skate with, but he needs to be dominant and play with some passion this weekend. The rest of the lines just need to play defensive hockey and be willing to go into the corners. There has been way to many guys turning pucks over to avoid hits and guys not getting into the corners to support the puck. Those are the little things the roll players need to do this weekend so I can look forward to more than just calling Sioux fans racists all weekend. Look for the Okposo/Flynn line to match up with UND’s top line this weekend. Lucia did this with success last year and I would guess he will go with it again this weekend. That means Barriball, Wheeler and Gordon (who couldn’t score in the restroom of Jimmy’s Bar) have to carry the offensive load.

These are suppose to be the games the fat/drunk (Frazee) goaltender is at his best. I could buy into that last season, but say bullshit until he proves me wrong this year. If he goes into Grand Forks and steals a game I will never say he sucks again on this blog. Frazee should get both starts this weekend (unless he sucks Friday) so he will have two chances to prove me wrong.

Obviously the big line the Gophers need to control this weekend is the Oshie/Duncan/VandeValde line. If they can shut that line down they have a chance to steal some points this weekend. The other three lines have talent, but don’t light the world on fire. The gophers need to stay out of the penalty box because the Sioux are at or near the top in every special teams category. Defensively, Taylor Chorney is possibly the top offensive defenseman in the country and makes everything run for UND. Robbie Bina has also turned into a offensive threat (at the age of 37) this year and Joe Finley is a big tall goon who actually tries to play this season. In net Jean-Phillippe Lamoureux (or whatever he calls himself now) is statistically the best goalie in the country this year. That being said, I hate Lamoureux as much as any player ever at UND and would love to see him get run this weekend. I know it is not in vogue to cheer for injuries, but I would smile if this "twat" had his season end. UND’s issue at home this year has been blowing teams away in game #1 then coming back flat and handing teams game #2. I am guessing with the Gophers in town they will have a bit more energy both nights.

To sum things up, I see UND sweeping the gophers this weekend. I would love to see one win for the Gophers, but it isn’t going to happen. I know history says the Gophers own UND up at the Nazi Bunker, but history also use to bring a lot of talent with it. Granted the Gophers will be playing the most overrated team in the history of college hockey (Hey Super Sioux Fan, how idiotic is that comment now......Homer!), but this Gopher team just isn’t that good. This is also like the national championship to the people of Grand Forks so UND will be up for both games. Sioux win 6-3 Friday night and 4-2 Saturday. At least I will be able to call Frazee fat and drunk in the future!

P.S. At least Gopher Fans can say the Gophers lead the all-time series 137-120 (122 after Saturday) vs UND!

P.S.S. Oshie is hot!

I Am Gay For T.J.!

I feel no shame in coming out and saying the following statement. "I am gay for TJ Oshie!" It feels a bit dirty having a huge man crush on a player from UND, but I can’t run from my feelings.

Look at him! He is a cross between Brad Pitt, JT and Carrie Underwood. Not only is he drop dead gorgeous, but he is also the 2nd best hockey player to ever skate at UND (I guess makes me a puck bunny). Here’s hoping that TJ and I cross paths this weekend in Grand Forks so I can express my true feelings to him!

WWWWWW, You know you would play swords with T.J.!

P.S. I am twice the looker as the slut in this photo. If I see her in Grand Forks this weekend one of us is getting an ass beating.

P.S.S. Even though I have a huge man crush on T.J., the Sioux still suck and so does everything about the city they play in. I just wanted to make sure everyone was still aware of that. NDSU also sucks, just not as bad as UND!