Gophers A Lock For Home Ice!

The Gophers travel to Alaska to take on the Eskimos of Alaska Anchorage this weekend. The beauty of this weekend is the Gophers should find themselves all alone in 7th place when they return to Dinky town Sunday with an outside shot at 6th place. MN currently sits in 8th place, 1 pt behind UMD. The bulldogs play a Saturday/Sunday series vs Eva Braun's Babies (Sioux). I would guess Eva's babies would sweep the Dogs seen as how CC destroyed UMD at the DECC last weekend and UND has to sweep if they want any shot at the WCHA. I am predicting a 4-1 Sioux win on saturday and a 3-0 Sioux win on Sunday. I am also predicting Joe Finley starts another fight after a period/game and once again skates and hides while his teammates clean up his mess. Joe Finley is Basically the Bogart and Woz of college hockey. Just like Bogart and Woz, Finley tries living the life but then ends up pissing the bed and puking all over himself when the real fun starts. Then leaves his teammates/friends to clean up for him.

Mankato heads to Colorado Springs to play the CC Tigers this weekend. Mankato currently sits 4 pts ahead of the Gophers. Once I am predicting CC will sweep at home this weekend. A sweep this weekend will clinch at least a share of 1st place in the WCHA for the Tigers. I also think Mankato just plain sucks so I say CC 5-2 Friday and 4-1 Saturday. With this result and a Gopher sweep of the Eskimos they would now be tied for 6th place in the WCHA. The Gophers also hold the tie breaker over Mankato so that would move them ahead of Mankato as far as home ice seeding are concerned.

The last major series of the weekend has Wisconsin traveling to St. Cloud. No matter what happens here one of these teams is going to finish in front of the Gophers. I would guess we will see a split here, but don't be surprised if St. Cloud pulls off a sweep. Wisconsin struggles scoring goals so if St. Cloud can get up and down the ice this weekend they could pull sweep and lock themselves into home ice. A sweep by St.Cloud would leave the Gophers 1 pt. behind Wisconsin heading into the final weekend of the WCHA. Wisconsin is on bye next weekend so a Gopher split with the Bulldogs next weekend would lock MN into the #5 seed in the WCHA tournament and bring a match up with either Mankato/Duluth/Wisconsin to Mariucci. All of those series which the Gophers would probably be favored in at home. St. Cloud wins 4-2 Friday and Wisconsin wins 3-2 Saturday. F’ing Badger, Gophers now need to sweep UMD next weekend at Mariucci to get #5 seed.

UAA has won just one game since Dec. 29, so they clearly suck worse than the movie Jumper. Last weekend, they were swept at Denver and in the prior two weekends they were swept by both Minnesota State and St. Cloud State. The Eskimos are last in the WCHA in the standings, scoring offense and scoring defense. Their penalty kill is also last in the conference, so the Gopher power play will have a good chance to keep building on last weekend. Basically AA is the Northwestern of college hockey. They just plain suck.

The Gophers are coming off their best offensive performance since the opening weekend of the year. Some of that had to do with Wisconsin's shaky goal tending, but either way the Gophers played fairly well all weekend. The two biggest questions for me heading into this series are the play of the real baby Jesus (Kangas) and can Barriball's continue scoring goals.

Kangas really and truly sucked Saturday night. He sucked to a level that even made Frazee chuckle. It would be nice to see him rebound Friday night and post a shut out or a 1 goal game so everyone can forget about last Saturday. I can't believe I am typing this, but a Frazee sighting on Saturday might be a good idea also. Kangas has played a ton of games down the stretch and a night off might be good for him. It would also be nice to give Drinky a game before playoffs begin incase he is needed. God a feel like dirtier now then I did when I watched the shower scene in The Crying Game.

Barriball getting on a hot streak would be huge for the Gophers going down the home stretch. He showed flashes of the old Barriball last weekend and the goal he scored Saturday was the type of goal that can really give a player a ton of confidence. At least I am running with that theory and hoping it fits here. If Barriball continues to score and the 2nd and 3rd line keeps chipping in a goal or two the Gophers will actually be a tough team to deal with. Lets just see if they can keep this up for three or four weeks.

You see it is all quite simple! The Gophers are a lock for home ice in the WCHA which will give them an at large birth in the NCAA. And you all thought this season was for nothing! The Gophers rule! Actually they still really suck and I have a slight feeling they will wet the bed this weekend and will either lose or tie one game in Alaska. Hopefully that happens on Saturday with Frazee in goal so I can come on here next week calling him fat and drunk. Gophers win 3-1 Friday and 3-2 on Saturday.

If the Gophers lose this weekend I am seriously done with Lucia and calling for the immediate hiring of Dean Blais.

Also, I thought this was actually comical. It is a fight in a Woman's college hockey game. How sad is this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZAehXzjG0w . Shockingly a Sioux team is involved.

Lastly. Dawg, how can you expect us to take a movie recommendation seriously when you state moma dawger loved Jumper??? She is the same person who told me Four Letter Lie was the greatest band ever. You just lost all credibility as a critic. P.S. How was that tube sock last night?

UND Wins and Ties, Yet Still Finds A Way To Suck!

Thoughts from this weekends series vs the university of No class. Warning this is going to sound like something right out of Sid Hartman's column.....but unlike Sid this is gospel!

First, Dave Hak-stool (WWWWWW, see what I did there, just like you boss) is a complete clown and his behavior on the bench this weekend reminds me of a crazy little league mom who can't control herself. He is a complete classless ass! Really, giving a ref the finger during a game? I am sure the people of the Sioux tribe really appreciate the way the school represented their name and likeness this weekend. Nice apology also www.startribune.com/sports/gophers/15168841.html. ""I have evaluated and feel terrible about my actions", Hakstol sounds like a complete pussy! This guy needs his ass kicked.

Second, WWWWWWWWW when you steal my material and butcher it like Tubby's Offence please have the decency to give me credit. Plagiarist! I will forgive you because of the Sconny girls. Although one of those girls is really ugly and her friends should burn her face so she never wrecks another one of their photos. Still, A+ work.

Third, North Dakota is by far and away the largest collection of Douche Bags ever collected on one roster. Anyone who watched Saturdays game can see why everyone outside of North Dakota hates that team. I didn't even think it was possible to get thrown out of a game in the first 7 seconds. Now Ryan Duncan holds the record for quickest DQ and the title of worst Hoby Baker winner of all time. Duncans Hoby award makes Gino Torretta's Heisman selection look good.

4th, Joe Finley is a fairy trapped inside a 6-7 mouth breathers body. Honestly, starting a fight in the hand shake line? I don't care if someone said they wanted to mount his mother from behind, you don't do that. Starting a fight in the hand shake line is like booing during the national anthem or not applauding when someone gets hit number 3000. Once the post game scuffle broke out Finley skated around with his gloves and helmet on playing grab ass? What a tough guy! Note to Finley, "If you want to be a real goon you need to take off your gloves and helmet and actually fight. Blake Wheeler made you look like a fool." I can't wait for Finley to pull the shite in the Minor Leagues so someone caves in his neanderthal face. What a twat!

5th, What is the deal with the idiot Sioux fans who wear white jerseys to Friday nights games? I thought that was green out night? If your going to have ridiculous themes like "green out" and "white out" then make sure you follows those simple instructions. Nice fans....idiots!

The highlight of the weekend was Malone getting thrown like a rag doll into the penalty box by a 5-8 ref. Only a ginger would get treated like that.

Lastly, Kangas is Jesus on skates. The only way Frazee should touch the ice again this season is if Frazee spikes Kangas's water bottle. Unless Kangas is so drunk he can't stand on his skates he should never leave the ice. Nice career Frazee, hope you enjoy selling cars!

In conclusion, everything about North Dakota Hockey sucks. Fire Hakstol and bring back Blais! At least Blais's team had goons that knew what it meant to be a goon. Guys who are not proper goons suck.

Bucky Time...Yawn!

It's "Board Battle" time in the WCHA. The Gophers and Badgers will face off this weekend at the Kohl Center in Madison, Wi in a battle of 5th place teams. If either team sweeps this weekend the other will most likely spend the first weekend of the WCHA playoffs on the road.

MN is coming off Defensively their best weekend of the year. Last weekend vs UMD the Gophers only allowed 2 goals the entire weekend. A lot of this had to do with the Gophers below average defenders playing simple and smart hockey instead of trying to make plays. Another reason for only allowing 2 goals was Jeff Frazee only touched the ice when he came out to slap Kangas on the ass at end of each period. The highlight of the weekend was FSN zooming in on Frazee in his suit friday night and the uncomfortable smile Frazee forced out as he tried to look normal. What a turd!

My lasting memory from last weekends tie was the goal Derek Peltier should have scored Friday night. For those who missed the play here is a recap. A wing (I believe Barriball) skated down the right side of the ice towards the UMD goal. Once UMD's goalie committed to the puck the winger slid the puck back in front of the goal for an easy tip in. The only problem was the guy trying to tip the puck into a completely wide open net was Stone Hands Peltier. This is one of the few times in sports that I can say "even I would scored that goal" and it is no exaggeration. WWWWWWW missing this goal is the equivalent of you missing a dunk on the nerf hoop that hangs on your bed room door.

Note to Peltier: Please remove the captains "C" from your jersey and just step away from the team. You are an average player at best, a terrible leader, have stones for hands and have the same attitude as those guys in high school who where on the football team but never played and still thought they "kicked Ass." Live it up while you can Derek, next year you will be selling me my peanuts at games.

This weekends series will most likely be a low scoring affair similar to last weekend. No matter how much talent Wisconsin has their coach (Mike Eaves) plays a defensive system that makes the MN Wild look the Oilers of the 80's. If either team scores 3+ goals in a game they will win.

Wisconsin does have some very high end talent on their roster led by Kyle Turris. Turris was the 3rd overall pick by the Phoenix Coyotes in the 2007 NHL Draft. Turris leads all Wisconsin players in scoring with 24 points in 20 games. Ryan McDonagh (Cretin Grad) and Brendan Smith were also 1st round draft picks last year and anchor the Badger defense. Junior Ben Street the other big threat for Wisconsin. Street has already matched his goal total from last year (10) and currently is the team leader. Wisconsins powerplay sucks like Dawg in volleyball. But even that level of sucking still puts them at a higher percentage than MN. Take that Wisconsin...we suck better than you!

Basically this has potential to be the most boring hockey series in 100 years. I would expect a split with both teams being so similar and shitty. MN wins 3-1 tonight and Wisco wins 2-1 tomorrow. With few goals and the style of play you are going to watch, this is going to have the feel of a soccer match, not a hockey game. Both games are live on FSN this weekend.

- This struck me as funny so I attached it for your reading pleasure. The article was taken from madison.com.

Bucky Badger took a tap on the shins from a North Dakota hockey player on Saturday and now the University of Wisconsin mascot will receive an apology.

WCHA commissioner Bruce McLeod said Sioux defenseman Joe Finley was captured on videotape slashing Bucky Badger played by UW student David Blanchard before Saturday's game, which North Dakota won 3-1.

The commissioner made no ruling on a separate incident in which Blanchard and Sioux goaltender Jean-Phillippe Lamoureux bumped into each other.

Finley must write a letter of apology to Blanchard, McLeod said.

Notice it is another Sioux player getting in trouble. Nice program! When Finley is done beating up fury mascots he should move to the handicapped section and start hitting mouth breathers. F'ing no talent twat!

- WWWWW, You are a communist pig for never watching Rocky 4. Possibly the greatest sports movie ever!