Same story?

Let me tell you a story.  There was once a point guard out of Massachusetts named Naadir Tharpe.  Now young Naadir was a really good point guard.  In fact, ESPN ranked him as the 17th best PG in his class and the 86th overall player in the class of 2011.  Naadir at one point had narrowed his list to Minnesota and Rutgers.  Then Rutgers signed a different point guard (Myles Mack, maybe) and Tharpe canceled his official visit to see the Scarlet Knights.  He took an official to Minnesota and it was reported that he enjoyed his time in Minneapolis and really liked Tubby and everything seemed great and Gopher fans were counting the days until he signed on.  And yet there was no commitment.

Some time passed, and suddenly Mr. Tharpe was a little more in demand.  There was an offer from NC State.  There was an offer from Oklahoma.  But we weren't worried.  His only official visit to any school was still Minnesota and confidence was still high.  Then Josiah Turner committed to Arizona and Anthony Wroten signed on with Washington and it turned out that those were the two PG targets of a little school I like to call Kansas.  The Jayhawks were suddenly late in the signing period without a PG on their radar and they needed one.  So they called Tharpe.

He schedule a visit to Lawrence, but it turned out he really didn't need to see anything because after Bill Self called with an official offer to become a Jayhawk it took Tharpe less than 48 hours to accept and like that, he was gone.  He redshirted and then was a back up last year, averaging 20 minutes per game and scoring 5.5 pts and tallying 3.1 assists, and to Self's credit he hasn't recruited over him and now Tharpe is in line to run the offense for one of the best college basketball programs in the country.

Here is what I wrote back then:

So basically the Gophers are the nice, safe, mildy attractive chick while Kansas is the super hot chick with the killer rack who puts out.  I'd like to make some kind of pro-Gopher joke here, but I can't.  Why wouldn't you pick the hot chick with the sweet ass?  The only thing the dumpy girl has to offer is you know she won't upgrade to a better guy in a year.

 Why is the relevant now?  Because do you remember way back on Tuesday when I wrote about how Lourawls "Tum Tum" Nairn was the most important recruit for the Gophers after J.P. Macura turned traitor?  Well, Mr. Nairn just got a call from Michigan State and you'll never guess what happened.  Despite having trimmed his list to Minnesota, Oklahoma, and Indiana and saying those were his only 3 official visits he has now already scheduled a visit to East Lansing.

The Spartans were after 3 point guards:  Tyus Jones, Tyler Ullis, and Quentin Snider (all but Ullis were/are also Gopher targets).  Snider committed to Illinois today (F that guy) and it sounds like Izzo is conceding Jones to Duke and Ullis to Kentucky, so he needed somebody since Keith Appling is gone after this season and their only other PG is that shitbox Travis Trice.  So enter Sparty into the Tum Tum sweepstakes and they have told him he'll be the guy at PG from Day 1, which I think was the Gophers #1 pitch.

This is another reminder of how important your brand is in college basketball, and the Gophers just can't compete with Kansas or Michigan State.  I'm not saying it's a lock that Tum Tum is heading to East Lansing, but the parallels between this situation and the Tharpe thing are too similar to be ignored.  And it just sucks because Izzo is a whiny little leprecaun man who reminds me of the Lucky Charms guy on cocaine.

There is some good news in that a bunch of recruiting analysts much smarter than me have switched their projections on Isaiah Whitehead to the Gophers, but I just don't know.  It seems like once one guy makes a prediction everybody suddenly switches to the same prediction and Whitehead isn't really giving any clues. I'd feel a lot better if Robert Johnson, another highly regarding wing, would just commit to Indiana already and I think I read he's going to make his decision soon so just hurry up already dick.  It just sucks.  I just checked the predictions thing and 50% of the analysts at 247sports.com have him going to Michigan State and they just fucking contacted him.  Ugh.  I quit.

A couple quick comments while I finish my last few beers while sitting on my balcony looking out over Hollywood because I'm awesome:

-  We went to this Mexican/Sushi joint right on Venice Beach for dinner tonight and it was pretty hilarious (to me) because there were a few people there who just would not eat sushi.  I'm not even a sushi fan really, and especially not in Minnesota (and seriously what's with you people who get a sushi tray out of the deli, I mean really) but why would you not get it from a place that is right on the ocean when that's their specialty?  I mean there were just trays and trays of sushi coming out (final bill was over $1,500) so these few people were just sitting there watching everybody eat and then they finally ordered and got either ribs or a burger.  Ribs or a burger.  At a sushi joint right on the Pacific.  Like I said I'm not really a big sushi guy but I'm not some weirdo who is grossed out by it and won't try it I just never have found anything I loved (I do love a nice ceviche).  Then the yellowtail sashimi came around and my life was changed.  I ate as much of the appetizer as I could and then ordered it for a meal.  I may have to try some back in Minnesota.  Unless they have ribs.

-  Speaking of seafood, I'm a huge fan of calamari.  Love it.  Made sure we always had at least two orders for an appetizer at each dinner this week just so I could get enough.  Also a huge fan of buffalo sauce.  Yet, somehow I had never had them together.  At our dinner Wednesday night the calamari came with buffalo sauce. So.  Freaking.  Good.  It's the perfect combination.  I mean calamari is usually served with a spicy sauce so why not buffalo?  I wish I had some right now.  I would eat it.

-  Man I really wish I could just pee off this balcony.  Turns out that's frowned upon.

-  I'm pretty sure I passed a porn star on the street today.  I was walking to the market to get some beer when we had a break from meetings and there was this blondie with super short shorts and a top that was both revealing on the top and bottom and she was with some dude and when I passed he was saying, and I shit you not, "Yeah it can be rough, even if you don't feel like having sex you have to perform" so I guess that's something.

-  I had a chance to try both Fatburger and The Stand out here, as far as regional burger joints.  I still think In-and-Out is the best, but I'd put The Stand second, mostly because their pickles are outstanding (and readily available - seriously they have a place to just go and fill up a cup with pickle slices and they're so good).  Fatburger is basically the same as Whataburger that I had in Texas, just a big ass burger freshly cooked with any toppings you want.  Both are definitely better than Sonic.  I've had Five Guys and I'd put it above Fatburger/Whataburger right now, but I need to have it again to double check.  I still think Dairy Queen has an underrated burger, by the way.  Not as good as most of these but way better than any other fast food and I'd even put it against Sonic.  I remember when they put a Sonic right by my house and I was like man we gotta try that but the line was crazy for a like a month and finally we had it and it was like lol what.  I almost had Umami Burger one day out of a food truck but the line was really long and I was hungover so I just went back to the hotel and ordered a really terrible steak from room service instead.

-  We went to the California Science Museum, which is really terrible, and they had Endeavour which is a space shuttle.  This paragraph is now over.

-  I mentioned last time how this hotel was crazy expensive and the beers, like a Coors Light, are $9 at the bar.  We ended up at this bar two of the nights I was here and I just ended up going back to the room and grabbing my beer out of the fridge and carrying them down in my pockets and drinking them at the bar.  Classy, right?  Yes, my company will pay for a $1,500 dinner but not a $9 Bud Light.  Say la Vee.

Gophers Recruiting Update

PG Ja'Quan Newton, a big Gopher target and a player who seemed like a pretty realistic get (and was ranked as the #41 recruit in the country) committed to Miami.  Although this makes sense considering Miami is coming off it's best season in history, their offensive system just turned Shane Larkin from an afterthought to an NBA first round pick, the weather is awesome, and the coeds are hot, it also doesn't make sense because god dammit I wanted Newton. 

At one point it seemed like Newton and Isaiah Whitehead, the #35 recruit and #10 shooting guard in the country, were considering playing together in college, even tweeting hints out to that effect, and it was looking like the Gophers were the leader for the package deal with some recruiting experts predicting that would be the outcome.  With Newton off the board, suddenly predictions are that Whitehead ends up at Syracuse, although the Gophers did make his Top 6 list when he narrowed it down (or maybe he didn't, depending on who you ask) so they're still in the mix, but suddenly things look less rosy.

There's plenty of recruiting news, good and bad, going on right now as well (and you can read up on a lot of the players involved right here).  Sandy Cohen committed to Marquette (probably to get away from that drunk Kirsten).  Kaleb Joseph narrowed his list to three and it did not include the Gophers, as did Abdul-Malik Abu.  Terry Larrier put the Gophers in his top 10, but when he listed the four schools he definitely wants to visit Minnesota wasn't included, although Josh Robinson did say he was planning on visiting Minnestoa.  Josh Perkins cut his list to five and did include the Gophers, and he's an interesting case because from what I've read it sounds like his two leaders are Gonzaga and UCLA, and he's a kid who was talking package deal with Rashad Vaughn at one point.  If Perkins picks Gonzaga, that's good news because Vaughn isn't considering going to the Zags.  If he picks UCLA, that should make Gopher fans just a tick more nervous since the Bruins are on Vaughn's list.  Of course, if Perkins picks the Gophers?  Well, then we dance.

The Gophers still haven't signed anybody for 2014 and as much as I hate to admit this because it's really, really stupid my panic meter has ticked up just a tiny bit.  As optimistic as I am about Pitino and like a lot of the positive recruiting things he's doing, there's still a little part of me just waiting for this whole thing to blow up in the bad way.  I just want one signing.  What can I say?  I've been a Minnesota fan my whole life, expecting the worst is second nature.

Since Richard Pitino doesn't sleep, a few more offers have gone out for 2014.  The players (rankings are ESPN and Rivals):

SF Kyle Kuzma, Burton, MI (NR/NR):  Kuzma is a late riser who has suddenly been garnering a ton of attention from schools like UCONN and Missouri recently.  Kuzma grew up a short point guard, but grew to 6-7 between his freshman and senior years and as such brings perimeter skills to a front court body which makes me love him a little tiny bit.  It's impossible at this point to say who I would want on the Gophers the most because there are so many good players on the list, but I would definitely be happy with Kuzma.  The scouting reports I've read and description of his game reminds me a lot of Francisco Garcia, and man did I love me some Francisco Garcia. 

PF Bonzie Colson, New Bedford, MA (NR/NR):  Colson is undersized for a PF at just 6-5, but is described as a "crafty" scorer with an "old school" game which means he likes to use the backboard.  The descriptions of Colson remind me a lot of Kuzma in that he may not be a highlight reel waiting to happen but he has the skills to get things done against players who maybe pass the eye test a bit more.  I love that Pitino is shooting for the stars and going after 4 and 5 star guys who are highly ranked, but if that doesn't work out you can build a really nice team out of guys like Kuzma and Colson.  Plus Colson also ranks high on the "hard worker" and "does the little things" meter and Minnesota fans eat that shit up.  I am pretty sure I read he was planning on giving the U one of his official visits but I can't find where I read it now so I could be wrong.  Let's assume I'm right.

PG Quentin Snider, Louisville, KY (#28/31):  Speaking of shooting for the stars, Snider is the one of the highest ranked players Pitino is going after, but with good reason.  Snider originally committed to Louisville after his sophomore year when Richard Pitino was coaching there so there's already an established relationship.  When Snider de-committed from the Cardinals a couple weeks ago the first coach to reach out to him and offer was the Gophers' Pitino.  That is all great stuff and hopefully gives the Gophers an extra advantage.  They're probably going to need it, because a player ranked this highly is going to draw major interest from some very good programs.  The stench of Tom Crean is already creeping about.

SF Milik Yarbrough, Zion, IL (NR/NR):  Anywhere you look for info on Milik he's described as a scorer with a pretty diverse offensive game.  That's the positive descriptions.  The negative go more along the lines of "never met a shot he didn't like", "inconsistent effort", and "streaky" which are all code words for chucker which makes sense because his brother is Vincent Yarbrough, formerly of Tennessee and the Denver Nuggets, and he was an all-time chucker.  Now, chuckers aren't all necessarily evil (Vincent Grier was a chucker) but in general I'll pass on that type of player.  Then again, I usually hate weird alternate spellings of names but I kind of dig on Milik so who knows. 

PF Josh Martin, Bothell, WA (#92/NR):  Despite being a west coast guy, Martin recently narrowed his list and his home school of Washington was the only one to make the cut from out there(others:  Minnesota, Florida State, Pitt, and Oklahoma State - that is a crazy weird diverse set of schools).  Martin sounds like the perfect big for the system Pitino wants to install since he's described as an athletic player who can run the floor and can step out and hit a perimeter jumper.  I can't find any more information on him because Josh Martin is way too common of a name. 

PG Lourawls Nairn, Bel Aire, KS (NR/#61):  Yet another point guard reciprocating Pitino's love, Nairn goes by "Tum Tum" and I actually can't decide whether that would be more or less awkward than calling him Lourawls.  Nairn sounds like he's out of the T.J. Ford/Jacque Vaughn (well ok, probably more like Lewis Jackson) mold where he's short and lightning quick with a terrible jumper.  Obviously that can work in college basketball and work well, depending on the player's ability and willingness to use that quickness to get into the paint and then find open teammates.  According to his scouting reports that's pretty much his game, so you can sign me up.  I just have to figure out what to call him.  Maybe the Fresh Prince since he's from Bel Aire, Kansas.  Don't act like you don't love it.

PG Nate Mason, Snellville, GA (NR/NR):  What a surprise, another point guard.  Not that I disapprove, it's just like, whoa.  I can't find a scouting report for Mason anywhere without having to pay for it, but his nickname is apparently "The Assassin" which obviously is pretty cool.  The majority of his offers right now are from schools like Virginia, Clemson, LaSalle, and George Mason, so right now I would have to assume Mason is more of a back-up plan than a true priority target.  So hopefully he's not a Gopher next season.

PG Omega Harris, Bethany, OK (NR/NR):  Another unranked point guard, Harris at least has offers from Wichita State and Oklahoma and an actual scouting report so I already like him better than Mason.  And reading said scouting report this guy sounds like Pitino's perfect point guard,

"Harris is an attacking point guard that is a very good athlete that excels on the break where he is a crafty finisher. He beats defenders off the bounce with a an excellent first step. Harris can get to the rim and hit the rythum dribble pull up or three in addition to knocking the open three off the catch with time. Harris has a good handle and matching court vision in drive, draw and kick or drop off situations. He gets teammates scoring opportunities with his ability to penetrate and create help situations. Harris can score but is very unselfish as well. He also sets the tone with his ability to pressure the ball defensively."

I'm pretty sure that's exactly how he'd draw up his dream point guard.  Plus, again, sweet name.


Clearly this latest group of recruits to get offers is a step down from the previous batch that went out like crazy, but it's a good solid approach by Pitino.  Try to hit the home run (or multiple home runs) but also make sure to cover the players' who may not be the tops nationally but whose skills fit what you're trying to do.  The next step down is players who don't fit what  you're trying to do or who kind of suck, so it would be very good to try to avoid those.  Seriously though, if he ends up missing on all his high profile targets, a recruiting class of SF Kuzma, PF Colson, SG Macura, and PG Nairn or Harris won't crack the national rankings and might feel like a disappointment, but that would be a pretty solid group to build around.

I'm already rationalizing.  I hate being a Gopher fan sometimes.